1 00:00:07,307 --> 00:00:10,276 - Just here is good, Murray. - Yeah, just here. 2 00:00:10,310 --> 00:00:12,904 We're a block away. I'll take you right to the door. Don't be silly. 3 00:00:12,946 --> 00:00:14,971 - Just here! - I don't even want to go nightclubbing. 4 00:00:15,015 --> 00:00:16,277 You've got to go nightclubbing, Bret. 5 00:00:16,316 --> 00:00:18,045 Look at Jemaine. He wants to nightclub. 6 00:00:18,084 --> 00:00:19,483 Can we watch a video instead? 7 00:00:19,519 --> 00:00:21,043 Yeah, I want to go home and have a sleep. 8 00:00:21,087 --> 00:00:23,282 - Just here is good. - You're not getting out of it again. 9 00:00:23,323 --> 00:00:25,951 - Keep going. - Here we go. I just want you to go inside. 10 00:00:25,992 --> 00:00:28,927 Listen to the music they play. It's called dancing music. 11 00:00:28,962 --> 00:00:31,021 - Keep going. Just keep going, Murray. - Keep going. 12 00:00:31,064 --> 00:00:33,328 - Keep driving. - Look, there's David. 13 00:00:33,366 --> 00:00:35,357 - Dave! - What? 14 00:00:35,402 --> 00:00:38,303 - Hold on, I'm coming back. What's up? - Hey, man. 15 00:00:38,338 --> 00:00:40,499 Hi, David. Can you look after these two, please? 16 00:00:40,540 --> 00:00:43,134 - Sure thing, Murray. - Make sure they have a cocktail each. 17 00:00:43,176 --> 00:00:45,701 Here's $20. I don't trust it with them. 18 00:00:45,745 --> 00:00:48,043 Last time I gave them $20 they went away and spent it. 19 00:00:48,081 --> 00:00:50,072 Bought a magazine and a giant beach ball. 20 00:00:50,116 --> 00:00:53,142 - You can count on me, Murray. - Make sure they don't run away, okay? 21 00:00:53,186 --> 00:00:56,019 - Right. Out you get, guys. - We might not get in, Murray. 22 00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:58,490 - Not cool enough. - You two? 23 00:00:58,525 --> 00:01:01,517 - Yes, we're not that cool. - Yeah, everyone looks pretty cool. 24 00:01:01,561 --> 00:01:03,119 - Hang on. - They're cooler than us. 25 00:01:03,163 --> 00:01:05,063 Excuse me, sir. Hi. 26 00:01:05,098 --> 00:01:08,067 I've got a couple of very cool looking guys in the back of my car. 27 00:01:08,101 --> 00:01:10,968 I don't know whether you're keen to have them in your club. 28 00:01:11,004 --> 00:01:13,472 He's not coming in. 29 00:01:13,506 --> 00:01:16,839 Right, good. Off you go. 30 00:01:16,876 --> 00:01:19,902 I'll wait in the car here till you're finished nightclubbing, okay? 31 00:01:20,914 --> 00:01:22,438 Good luck, guys. 32 00:01:56,416 --> 00:01:59,180 Hey, guys, too many dicks. 33 00:01:59,219 --> 00:02:00,584 What? 34 00:02:00,620 --> 00:02:02,747 - Too many dicks. - What's that, man? 35 00:02:02,789 --> 00:02:04,222 - How many? - Too many. 36 00:02:04,257 --> 00:02:07,090 You guys are dorking up my vibe with all the dicks. 37 00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:09,755 We need to spread the dicks out a little bit, 38 00:02:09,796 --> 00:02:12,390 create some lady space. Come on, move apart, guys. 39 00:02:12,432 --> 00:02:13,797 Spread 'em out. 40 00:02:13,833 --> 00:02:16,063 This isn't the Riverdance anymore. 41 00:02:16,102 --> 00:02:17,433 Over there now. 42 00:02:17,470 --> 00:02:19,995 There's too many dicks on the dance floor. 43 00:02:20,039 --> 00:02:23,065 # Too many dicks on the dance floor # 44 00:02:23,109 --> 00:02:27,136 - # Too many dicks on the dance floor # - # Too many dicks # 45 00:02:27,180 --> 00:02:30,479 - # Too many dicks on the dance floor # - # Too many dicks # 46 00:02:30,517 --> 00:02:34,180 - # Too many dicks on the dance floor # - # Too many dicks # 47 00:02:34,220 --> 00:02:36,984 # Going to the party, sipping on Bacardi # 48 00:02:37,023 --> 00:02:40,618 # Want to meet a hottie, but there's Adam, Steve and Marty # 49 00:02:40,660 --> 00:02:44,061 # There's Billy, Todd and Tommy, they're on leave from the army # 50 00:02:44,097 --> 00:02:47,498 # The only boobs I see tonight will be made of origami # 51 00:02:47,534 --> 00:02:49,331 # Tell the fellas, make it understood # 52 00:02:49,369 --> 00:02:51,064 # It ain't no good if there's too much wood # 53 00:02:51,104 --> 00:02:54,130 # Make sure you know before you go, the dance floor bro-ho ratio # 54 00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:57,575 # Five to one is a brodeo, tell Steve and Mark it's time to go # 55 00:02:57,610 --> 00:03:01,137 # Wait outside all night to find 20 dudes in a conga line # 56 00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:05,015 - # Too many dicks on the dance floor # - # Easy to fix # 57 00:03:05,051 --> 00:03:08,020 - # Too many dicks on the dance floor # - # Spread out the dicks # 58 00:03:08,054 --> 00:03:09,715 # Too many dudes with too many dicks # 59 00:03:09,756 --> 00:03:11,314 # Too close to my shit, too hard to meet chicks # 60 00:03:11,357 --> 00:03:13,325 # I need better odds, more broads, less rods # 61 00:03:13,359 --> 00:03:15,350 # I came to do battle, skedaddle with the cattle prods # 62 00:03:15,395 --> 00:03:17,863 # Too many men, too many boys, too many misters, not enough sisters # 63 00:03:17,897 --> 00:03:19,865 # Too much time on too many hands # 64 00:03:19,899 --> 00:03:22,026 # Not enough ladies, too many mens # 65 00:03:32,145 --> 00:03:34,079 # Too many dicks, too many dongs # 66 00:03:34,113 --> 00:03:35,546 # Too many schlongs, now sing this song # 67 00:03:35,582 --> 00:03:37,049 # Too many dicks on the... # 68 00:03:37,083 --> 00:03:38,948 # Too many dicks on the... # 69 00:03:38,985 --> 00:03:40,714 # Dicks on the... dicks on the... # 70 00:03:40,753 --> 00:03:42,618 # Dicks-dicks-dance-dicks # 71 00:03:42,655 --> 00:03:46,091 # Di-di-di-di-dicks on the dance floor. # 72 00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:50,847 Hello. Bret speaking. 73 00:04:50,890 --> 00:04:52,357 Bret, it's Jemaine speaking. 74 00:04:52,392 --> 00:04:54,758 Hey, man. Where are you? Did you run away? 75 00:04:54,794 --> 00:04:56,455 No, I went home with a girl. 76 00:04:56,496 --> 00:04:58,293 What? 77 00:04:58,331 --> 00:05:00,424 Bret, I think she might be Australian. 78 00:05:00,466 --> 00:05:02,195 Are you sure she's Australian? 79 00:05:02,235 --> 00:05:05,295 Either she's Australian or she really likes Australia. 80 00:05:05,338 --> 00:05:08,102 Oh, you've got to get out of there. Just get out of there. 81 00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:10,632 I'm... I'm... I'm locked in. She's trapped me. 82 00:05:10,677 --> 00:05:12,235 I'm not surprised. 83 00:05:12,278 --> 00:05:14,940 Okay, um, keep calm. 84 00:05:14,981 --> 00:05:16,448 Jump out the window. 85 00:05:16,482 --> 00:05:17,881 Good idea. 86 00:05:20,453 --> 00:05:22,318 Oh, it's too high. 87 00:05:22,355 --> 00:05:24,880 Okay, well, do one of those dive rolls when you land. 88 00:05:24,924 --> 00:05:26,585 Okay, I'll try. 89 00:05:26,626 --> 00:05:28,821 G'day. 90 00:05:28,861 --> 00:05:31,955 Oh, hey. 91 00:05:31,998 --> 00:05:33,932 Jesus, got a tongue like a badger's asshole. 92 00:05:33,966 --> 00:05:35,433 What you doing there, Big J? 93 00:05:35,468 --> 00:05:37,493 Um, just talking to a friend of mine. 94 00:05:37,537 --> 00:05:38,799 - Hey. - Don't talk to her. 95 00:05:38,838 --> 00:05:41,272 - She's definitely Australian. - I'm not sure I got your name. 96 00:05:41,307 --> 00:05:42,604 Keitha. 97 00:05:44,277 --> 00:05:46,575 - Pardon? - Keitha. 98 00:05:46,612 --> 00:05:48,239 Keitha? 99 00:05:48,281 --> 00:05:50,579 Yeah, it's like Keith but with an "A" at the end. 100 00:05:50,616 --> 00:05:52,277 I was named after me dad. 101 00:05:52,318 --> 00:05:53,979 She's got a man's name. 102 00:05:54,020 --> 00:05:55,248 Keitha, that's a lovely name. 103 00:05:55,288 --> 00:05:56,812 So how about we go back to bed? 104 00:05:56,856 --> 00:05:59,848 - Um... - Definitely don't do that. 105 00:05:59,892 --> 00:06:02,417 No, I can't. 106 00:06:02,462 --> 00:06:05,397 - Oh. - Would you be able to unlock the door? 107 00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:09,968 Thanks for coming. 108 00:06:10,002 --> 00:06:12,368 - How do you feel? - Fine. 109 00:06:12,405 --> 00:06:14,032 Just ashamed. 110 00:06:14,073 --> 00:06:15,631 How could you not know she was Australian? 111 00:06:15,675 --> 00:06:17,870 I don't know. It was loud in the nightclub. 112 00:06:17,910 --> 00:06:20,572 - Does she look Australiany? - Not particularly, no. 113 00:06:20,613 --> 00:06:24,447 I mean the face, I suppose, but not bodily, not at all. 114 00:06:24,484 --> 00:06:26,509 Does she sound Australian? Australian accent? 115 00:06:26,552 --> 00:06:28,452 Yes. Yes. 116 00:06:28,488 --> 00:06:30,149 What did it sound like? 117 00:06:30,189 --> 00:06:32,350 Kind of like an evil version of our accent. 118 00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:34,917 - Did she mock your accent? - Not that I remember. 119 00:06:34,961 --> 00:06:37,657 She may have subtly mocked your accent and you didn't notice. 120 00:06:37,697 --> 00:06:40,393 She may have subtly been mocking me. 121 00:06:40,433 --> 00:06:43,596 Did you use protection? 122 00:06:45,772 --> 00:06:48,297 Yes, but only on my penis. 123 00:06:48,341 --> 00:06:51,310 - What's that? - What? What? 124 00:06:51,344 --> 00:06:54,575 - What's that red mark on your lip? - What? Where? 125 00:06:54,614 --> 00:06:56,411 That's all red. 126 00:06:56,449 --> 00:06:58,041 - That's lipstick. - It's crabs. 127 00:06:58,084 --> 00:07:00,177 - It's not crabs. - It's crabs. 128 00:07:00,219 --> 00:07:02,244 It's lipstick. Look, that's not... 129 00:07:02,288 --> 00:07:04,222 it's not crabs. 130 00:07:04,257 --> 00:07:05,724 Got your wallet? She didn't steal your wallet? 131 00:07:05,758 --> 00:07:07,225 No, I've actually got my wallet. 132 00:07:07,260 --> 00:07:08,989 She probably tried to steal your wallet. 133 00:07:09,028 --> 00:07:11,496 Don't touch anything. 134 00:07:14,934 --> 00:07:16,959 Well, good news. Your biscuits arrived. 135 00:07:17,003 --> 00:07:18,527 Eh? 136 00:07:18,571 --> 00:07:20,971 They've been approved from the Wellington office. 137 00:07:21,007 --> 00:07:24,238 - From the government? - Yup. There we go. 138 00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:25,869 Oh, great. 139 00:07:25,912 --> 00:07:28,437 - Ginger nuts. - Oh, nice. 140 00:07:28,481 --> 00:07:30,142 I got a rejected form. 141 00:07:30,183 --> 00:07:32,447 Oh, Jemaine, rejected. Let's have a look. 142 00:07:32,485 --> 00:07:34,453 "Did not fill out the form correctly. 143 00:07:34,487 --> 00:07:36,079 Purpose for the biscuits..." 144 00:07:36,122 --> 00:07:38,147 You put "NA." What is "NA"? 145 00:07:38,191 --> 00:07:40,056 Not applicable. 146 00:07:40,092 --> 00:07:42,526 - There's no purpose for your biscuits? - No, I just wanted them. 147 00:07:42,562 --> 00:07:45,292 Well, they're hardly gonna send you biscuits if there's no purpose. 148 00:07:45,331 --> 00:07:47,356 Think about it. Fill out your forms properly. 149 00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:49,459 Well, I probably would have eaten them, I suppose. 150 00:07:49,502 --> 00:07:51,026 What did you put on your form? 151 00:07:51,070 --> 00:07:52,697 I think I put I was gonna eat them. 152 00:07:52,738 --> 00:07:55,866 There you go. Okay, simple as that. 153 00:07:55,908 --> 00:07:57,739 Tell you what, you could probably have... 154 00:07:57,777 --> 00:08:00,439 Bret, could he have one of yours until I get this sorted? 155 00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:02,948 Would that be all right? 156 00:08:04,851 --> 00:08:07,615 That's the boy. That's good. Nice. 157 00:08:07,653 --> 00:08:09,416 Right, let's move on. 158 00:08:09,455 --> 00:08:12,288 Next, nightclubbing experiences. 159 00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:14,623 Anything to report back? 160 00:08:14,660 --> 00:08:16,594 - Nothing? - Uh... 161 00:08:16,629 --> 00:08:18,995 Did you dance? 162 00:08:19,031 --> 00:08:21,795 I didn't want to go to the nightclub, Murray. 163 00:08:21,834 --> 00:08:24,462 What's happened? 164 00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:26,165 - Nothing. - Bret? 165 00:08:26,205 --> 00:08:27,934 Something happened to Jemaine? 166 00:08:27,974 --> 00:08:30,465 - Jemaine slept with an Australian. - What?! 167 00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:32,239 - Bret. - Jemaine slept with an Australian. 168 00:08:32,278 --> 00:08:35,509 No, I heard you. I said "what" as in I heard you, 169 00:08:35,548 --> 00:08:37,607 but I can't believe what I'm hearing. 170 00:08:37,650 --> 00:08:39,140 Is this true, Jemaine? 171 00:08:39,185 --> 00:08:41,244 - Shh. - I know, shh. 172 00:08:41,287 --> 00:08:44,017 - This is true. - Yeah? Really? 173 00:08:44,056 --> 00:08:46,149 I accidently slept with an Australian. 174 00:08:46,192 --> 00:08:48,251 How do you accidently sleep with one? 175 00:08:48,294 --> 00:08:50,421 What, did she get you naked and you tripped over and fell on her? 176 00:08:50,463 --> 00:08:52,795 - Is that what happened? - No, it wasn't exactly like that. 177 00:08:52,832 --> 00:08:55,596 - Look, close the door, please, Bret. - Close the door, Bret. 178 00:08:55,635 --> 00:08:57,899 - I didn't... - I don't want to hear it, okay? 179 00:08:57,937 --> 00:08:59,734 I'm talking to Bret now. 180 00:08:59,772 --> 00:09:02,935 Jemaine, don't listen. Turn away. 181 00:09:02,975 --> 00:09:06,035 Bret, come in a bit. 182 00:09:06,078 --> 00:09:08,706 Do you think he's listening? Let's test it. 183 00:09:08,748 --> 00:09:10,306 Jemaine's a good-looking guy, isn't he? 184 00:09:10,349 --> 00:09:13,716 - There he goes. - Yeah, he's listening. 185 00:09:13,753 --> 00:09:16,085 Right, now this is serious. Maybe we should 186 00:09:16,122 --> 00:09:18,022 banish him, you know, from the group. 187 00:09:18,057 --> 00:09:20,287 Cast him off, you know? 188 00:09:20,326 --> 00:09:23,295 Never speak of him again, just for a couple of days. 189 00:09:23,329 --> 00:09:25,024 - That seems a bit full-on. - Does it? 190 00:09:25,064 --> 00:09:27,328 It does, doesn't it? Lock him up. 191 00:09:27,366 --> 00:09:30,130 Just lock him up. Don't listen. 192 00:09:30,169 --> 00:09:32,501 - What did you hear? - Nothing. 193 00:09:34,006 --> 00:09:37,032 Okay, let's get back into the group. 194 00:09:37,076 --> 00:09:40,170 Okay, come back, Jemaine. Thank you. 195 00:09:40,212 --> 00:09:43,579 We can't come to a decision as to what to do. 196 00:09:43,616 --> 00:09:45,914 Um... 197 00:09:45,952 --> 00:09:49,547 Now this girl, did she make fun of you? 198 00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:52,149 We think she might have slightly mocked his accent. 199 00:09:52,191 --> 00:09:54,557 She may have mocked my accent subtly. 200 00:09:54,594 --> 00:09:57,392 I bet she did. They're tricky. 201 00:09:57,430 --> 00:09:59,591 You know, guys, in the old days 202 00:09:59,632 --> 00:10:01,463 the sailors used to fall for them. 203 00:10:01,500 --> 00:10:03,365 Yeah, they hadn't seen a woman for weeks 204 00:10:03,402 --> 00:10:06,735 and the Australians would lure them to the bottom of the sea and they'd drown. 205 00:10:06,772 --> 00:10:08,797 - Oh, that's mermaids. - That's mermaids you're thinking of. 206 00:10:08,841 --> 00:10:10,103 - Is it? - That's not Australians. 207 00:10:10,142 --> 00:10:12,872 Yeah, but the Australian ones were the worst. 208 00:10:12,912 --> 00:10:14,675 That's what I'm trying to say. 209 00:10:14,714 --> 00:10:16,204 If you're into those sorts of things, 210 00:10:16,248 --> 00:10:17,579 watch out for the Australian ones. 211 00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:20,051 She didn't seem that bad, you know? 212 00:10:20,086 --> 00:10:22,179 - Eh? - Jemaine. 213 00:10:22,221 --> 00:10:25,190 - Do you have feelings for this girl? - No. 214 00:10:25,224 --> 00:10:27,283 Only negative ones. 215 00:10:27,326 --> 00:10:30,295 Good. Have you got your wallet? 216 00:10:30,329 --> 00:10:33,127 - Yes, I've got my wallet. - Good. 217 00:10:36,535 --> 00:10:38,799 - Oh hi, Big J. - Hi, Keitha. Do you have my wallet? 218 00:10:38,838 --> 00:10:40,829 Yeah. Yeah, I've got it right here. 219 00:10:43,976 --> 00:10:46,968 - Thank you. - You gonna come in for a cuppa? 220 00:10:48,714 --> 00:10:50,545 Oh, come on, you big mung. 221 00:11:06,832 --> 00:11:08,231 Milk? 222 00:11:08,267 --> 00:11:09,928 Um, yes please. 223 00:11:11,170 --> 00:11:13,104 - Say when. - When. 224 00:11:17,677 --> 00:11:19,201 Thank you. 225 00:11:21,280 --> 00:11:23,145 Mmm, delicious tea. 226 00:11:23,182 --> 00:11:25,412 Thanks. It's me mom's recipe. 227 00:11:25,451 --> 00:11:27,783 Oh, is your mom Australian? 228 00:11:27,820 --> 00:11:29,651 Yeah yeah, she's a panel beater. 229 00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:32,487 What about your dad? You said he's an Australian still? 230 00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:35,153 Yeah yeah, me dad's so Australian he's in prison. 231 00:11:35,194 --> 00:11:38,027 Mmm, what about his father? Was he Australian? 232 00:11:38,064 --> 00:11:39,497 - My grandpa? - Yeah. 233 00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:41,124 Yeah. Yeah. 234 00:11:41,167 --> 00:11:43,499 What about your mom's mother? Was she an immigrant? 235 00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:48,132 Listen, Big J, you couldn't get more Australian than me. 236 00:11:48,174 --> 00:11:50,472 My great-great-grandpa was a renowned rapist. 237 00:11:50,509 --> 00:11:53,034 And they shipped him out to Australia 238 00:11:53,079 --> 00:11:56,105 and that's where he met my great-great-grandma. 239 00:11:56,148 --> 00:11:59,174 She was a prostitute. I mean, I said met, but he raped her. 240 00:11:59,218 --> 00:12:02,449 Hmm. Do you think there's any chance you were adopted? 241 00:12:02,488 --> 00:12:05,980 Look, Big J, you got two options. 242 00:12:06,025 --> 00:12:08,585 A: Sit around here asking me stupid questions, 243 00:12:08,627 --> 00:12:11,562 or B: Get in that bedroom and root me again. 244 00:12:11,597 --> 00:12:14,327 They're both good options. 245 00:12:16,402 --> 00:12:21,101 # Do Australians feel love? # 246 00:12:22,975 --> 00:12:25,136 # Are they capable of love? # 247 00:12:25,177 --> 00:12:28,635 # Do they even know what we're speaking of? # 248 00:12:32,184 --> 00:12:35,051 Bret. Bret. 249 00:12:35,087 --> 00:12:37,920 Bret! Bret. 250 00:12:37,957 --> 00:12:40,118 What? 251 00:12:40,159 --> 00:12:42,559 Can I ask you a hypothetical question? 252 00:12:42,595 --> 00:12:44,222 Can it wait till the morning? 253 00:12:44,263 --> 00:12:46,322 I suppose so. 254 00:12:50,436 --> 00:12:53,667 Bret. Bret. 255 00:12:53,706 --> 00:12:56,539 Bret. Bret. 256 00:12:56,575 --> 00:12:59,442 - Bret. - What's the question you want to ask? 257 00:12:59,478 --> 00:13:02,208 What would you think if I did do out with that... 258 00:13:02,248 --> 00:13:04,944 - Australian? - Eh? 259 00:13:04,984 --> 00:13:08,283 I'm just saying that if you were to go out with an Australian... 260 00:13:08,320 --> 00:13:10,686 Well, I would never go out with an Australian. 261 00:13:10,723 --> 00:13:13,419 If you were to, I would be fine with it. 262 00:13:13,459 --> 00:13:15,427 I mean, when I first met you, you tried to have me deported 263 00:13:15,461 --> 00:13:17,190 from New Zealand 'cause you thought I was an Australian. 264 00:13:17,229 --> 00:13:19,561 That was a misunderstanding. You were wearing a vest top. 265 00:13:19,598 --> 00:13:23,056 My mom gave me that. She thought it made me look like Bruce Willis. 266 00:13:23,102 --> 00:13:25,366 Well, it didn't. It made you look like an Australian. 267 00:13:25,404 --> 00:13:27,736 You can't go out with that girl. 268 00:13:27,773 --> 00:13:31,231 Hey, she'd never be my girlfriend. 269 00:13:33,579 --> 00:13:35,479 Murray, Bret, 270 00:13:35,514 --> 00:13:38,312 this is my girlfriend Keitha. 271 00:13:38,350 --> 00:13:40,978 - What are you doing, Jemaine? - What is that you're wearing? 272 00:13:41,020 --> 00:13:42,612 - What are you wearing? - Where'd you get that? 273 00:13:42,655 --> 00:13:45,715 Hi, guys. You can call me Keith, by the way. 274 00:13:45,758 --> 00:13:47,658 - That's a man's name. - It's a female name. 275 00:13:47,693 --> 00:13:48,887 It's got an "A" on the end. 276 00:13:48,928 --> 00:13:51,260 Got quite the accent, don't you, Kevina? 277 00:13:51,297 --> 00:13:53,822 Yeah, I've got a real Aussie accent. 278 00:13:53,866 --> 00:13:57,199 Except it's not as strong as it used to be since I've lived here, 279 00:13:57,236 --> 00:13:59,227 'cause every time I'm on the phone with my mom 280 00:13:59,271 --> 00:14:01,171 she says I sound like Marilyn Monroe. 281 00:14:01,207 --> 00:14:04,142 - Did you catch that? - What are you deaf? Marilyn Monroe. 282 00:14:04,176 --> 00:14:05,871 - Oh, Marilyn Monroe. - Yeah. 283 00:14:05,911 --> 00:14:08,436 - What about her? - I talk like her now. 284 00:14:08,480 --> 00:14:10,607 - She sounds like her. - She does sound a bit like her. 285 00:14:10,649 --> 00:14:12,241 Yeah, I suppose if you squint your ears. 286 00:14:12,284 --> 00:14:14,275 Told ya. 287 00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:17,289 Keitha, do you mind not listening for a moment, please? 288 00:14:17,323 --> 00:14:19,348 Jemaine, come in a bit. 289 00:14:19,391 --> 00:14:21,086 What did you bring her here for? 290 00:14:21,126 --> 00:14:23,094 Don't talk about her. She's right there. 291 00:14:23,128 --> 00:14:25,995 - She's not listening, is she? - She's so close... 292 00:14:26,031 --> 00:14:27,589 You know what? I'm gonna go to the dunny. 293 00:14:27,633 --> 00:14:30,227 - Got to murder a brown snake. - Oh my God. 294 00:14:30,269 --> 00:14:32,863 Muzza, Bret, Sweetcocks. 295 00:14:32,905 --> 00:14:35,339 Jemaine, you can't be serious about this. 296 00:14:35,374 --> 00:14:37,774 - I am serious. - Have you thought about your future? 297 00:14:37,810 --> 00:14:40,244 - No, it's not gonna work, man. - What do you mean? 298 00:14:40,279 --> 00:14:42,509 And your children, what about them? What would become of them? 299 00:14:42,548 --> 00:14:44,641 They'll be aberrations, won't they? 300 00:14:44,683 --> 00:14:46,344 It's pronounced aborigines. 301 00:14:46,385 --> 00:14:49,912 Well, think of them. They'll be neither here nor there, 302 00:14:49,955 --> 00:14:53,686 forced to move from city to city looking for the perfect wave. 303 00:14:53,726 --> 00:14:56,559 - What are you gonna tell your mom? - I won't tell my mom. 304 00:14:56,595 --> 00:15:00,463 - What about Christmas, eh? - She can't come to Christmas. 305 00:15:00,499 --> 00:15:02,057 She's gonna ridicule us at Christmas. 306 00:15:02,101 --> 00:15:03,898 Maybe I will go to her house for Christmas. 307 00:15:03,936 --> 00:15:05,631 - I don't have to do everything you say. - Keep your voice down. 308 00:15:05,671 --> 00:15:07,070 - Sorry. - And sit up straight. 309 00:15:07,106 --> 00:15:09,904 You're slouching terribly. No, don't stand up, just sit up. 310 00:15:09,942 --> 00:15:11,705 Let's go before we get ridiculed. 311 00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:14,975 She's probably in the toilet thinking of something to bring me down with. 312 00:15:15,014 --> 00:15:17,073 Come on. 313 00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:20,510 See you later, Big J. 314 00:15:20,552 --> 00:15:22,713 Let's go, Little B. 315 00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:25,781 - Okay, Little M. - Medium M. 316 00:15:31,897 --> 00:15:35,697 Jemaine, did you listen to the answer phone message? 317 00:15:35,734 --> 00:15:37,793 I think there may be an answer phone message 318 00:15:37,836 --> 00:15:39,463 for you on the answer phone. 319 00:15:39,505 --> 00:15:42,099 Yes, Bret, I listened to the answer phone message. 320 00:15:42,141 --> 00:15:44,541 Oh, good news? Bad news? 321 00:15:44,576 --> 00:15:47,067 Uh, it's you putting on a woman's voice 322 00:15:47,112 --> 00:15:49,945 pretending to be Keitha breaking up with me. 323 00:15:49,982 --> 00:15:52,041 - Don't think so. - It's clearly you, Bret. 324 00:15:52,084 --> 00:15:53,642 - I don't think so. - It's obviously you 325 00:15:53,686 --> 00:15:56,416 putting on a woman's voice. Listen. 326 00:15:56,455 --> 00:15:58,320 - G'day, Big J. - That's the one. 327 00:15:58,357 --> 00:16:00,791 It's Keitha here. I've got some bad news. 328 00:16:00,826 --> 00:16:03,317 - It's Keitha. - I'm moving back to Wollongong. 329 00:16:03,362 --> 00:16:05,091 - She's not from Wollongong. - Shh. 330 00:16:05,130 --> 00:16:07,030 - She's from Wollamaloo. - It was nice going out with you. 331 00:16:07,066 --> 00:16:09,466 - Shh. - I'm never gonna see you again. Bye. 332 00:16:09,501 --> 00:16:12,402 - Oh no. - And I'm married. 333 00:16:12,438 --> 00:16:15,874 - Who's on the phone, love? - That's her husband. 334 00:16:15,908 --> 00:16:18,570 Uh, nobody. I've got to go. 335 00:16:18,610 --> 00:16:21,135 Oh, that's terrible. 336 00:16:21,180 --> 00:16:23,808 Jemaine, that's terrible. 337 00:16:23,849 --> 00:16:25,908 That's just... 338 00:16:25,951 --> 00:16:27,612 I'm going, Bret. 339 00:16:27,653 --> 00:16:30,144 Jemaine, did I show you my gloves that look like my hands? 340 00:16:30,189 --> 00:16:32,054 Get off. Get off. 341 00:16:32,091 --> 00:16:35,060 Let go of my glove. Ow, that's actually my hand. 342 00:16:35,094 --> 00:16:37,528 - That's actually my hand. - I'm going. 343 00:16:44,837 --> 00:16:46,737 Yeah? 344 00:16:46,772 --> 00:16:48,672 - I need to see Keitha. - Who? 345 00:16:48,707 --> 00:16:50,902 Keitha. Keitha. 346 00:16:50,943 --> 00:16:53,605 Keitha. Keith with an "A" at the end. 347 00:16:53,645 --> 00:16:55,408 No, you can't see her. 348 00:16:55,447 --> 00:16:58,644 W-well, I need to see her. 349 00:16:58,684 --> 00:17:00,618 Well, you can't 'cause she's moved back to Australia. 350 00:17:00,652 --> 00:17:02,620 - What's going on, Kels? - What? 351 00:17:02,654 --> 00:17:04,519 Dr. Spectacles here is looking for Keitha. 352 00:17:04,556 --> 00:17:06,615 Oh, she's gone, mate. She said you were a prick 353 00:17:06,658 --> 00:17:08,626 and then she got on the bus back to Australia for good. 354 00:17:08,660 --> 00:17:10,753 I don't believe you. That's her sweatshirt. 355 00:17:10,796 --> 00:17:13,822 She doesn't need a sweatshirt in Australia. It's hot. 356 00:17:13,866 --> 00:17:15,197 Well, I can see her, actually. 357 00:17:15,234 --> 00:17:17,293 - No, mate. She's gone back to Oz. - No, mate. 358 00:17:17,336 --> 00:17:18,860 She's there. She's right there. 359 00:17:18,904 --> 00:17:20,804 You don't need to really keep going, do you? 360 00:17:20,839 --> 00:17:23,307 No, mate, she's gone. She's in Australia like we said. 361 00:17:23,342 --> 00:17:25,537 - Hey. - Hi, Big J. 362 00:17:26,545 --> 00:17:28,445 - Hi, Keitha. - Bye. 363 00:17:28,480 --> 00:17:30,448 Bye. 364 00:17:30,482 --> 00:17:32,040 Bye, have fun. 365 00:17:32,084 --> 00:17:34,780 Keitha, my friends think our love can never be. 366 00:17:34,820 --> 00:17:36,185 Can never be what? 367 00:17:36,221 --> 00:17:37,916 Well, you know, can never be. 368 00:17:37,956 --> 00:17:40,288 Oh, well, my mates think that too. 369 00:17:40,325 --> 00:17:43,123 Because I'm a New Zealander and you're an Australian 370 00:17:43,162 --> 00:17:45,562 and they don't think we can be together? 371 00:17:45,597 --> 00:17:47,462 No, mostly it's 'cause they think you're a dick. 372 00:17:47,499 --> 00:17:49,057 You know, with the dickish glasses and that. 373 00:17:49,101 --> 00:17:51,626 No, it's mainly because they think 374 00:17:51,670 --> 00:17:53,399 our races shouldn't mix. 375 00:17:53,439 --> 00:17:56,169 No, mostly it's 'cause they think I've rooted better-looking fellas 376 00:17:56,208 --> 00:17:58,301 when I've been too drunk to speak. 377 00:17:58,343 --> 00:18:00,311 Is that how you feel? 378 00:18:00,345 --> 00:18:03,246 50-50. I kinda like you. 379 00:18:03,282 --> 00:18:06,149 I kinda like you too. 380 00:18:10,923 --> 00:18:14,086 # Loretta broke my heart in a letter # 381 00:18:14,126 --> 00:18:17,095 # She told me she was leaving and her life would be better # 382 00:18:17,129 --> 00:18:20,530 # Joan broke it off over the phone # 383 00:18:20,566 --> 00:18:23,831 # After the tone, she left me alone # 384 00:18:23,869 --> 00:18:26,838 # Jen said she'd never ever see me again # 385 00:18:26,872 --> 00:18:29,670 # When I saw her again, she said it again # 386 00:18:29,708 --> 00:18:33,610 # Jan met another man # 387 00:18:33,645 --> 00:18:36,910 # Liza got amnesia, just forgot who I am # 388 00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:39,918 # Felicity saw there was no electricity # 389 00:18:39,952 --> 00:18:43,285 # Emily, no chemistry # 390 00:18:43,322 --> 00:18:46,450 # Fran ran, Bruce turned out to be a man # 391 00:18:46,492 --> 00:18:49,791 # Flo had to go, I couldn't go with the flow # 392 00:18:49,828 --> 00:18:53,491 # Carol Brown just took a bus out of town # 393 00:18:54,933 --> 00:18:57,663 # But I'm hoping that you'll stick around # 394 00:18:59,004 --> 00:19:01,336 # He doesn't cook or clean # 395 00:19:01,373 --> 00:19:03,773 # He's not good boyfriend material # 396 00:19:03,809 --> 00:19:05,936 # Ooh, we can eat cereal # 397 00:19:05,978 --> 00:19:08,037 # You'll lose interest fast # 398 00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:10,241 # His relationships never last # 399 00:19:10,282 --> 00:19:12,045 # Shut up, girlfriends from the past # 400 00:19:12,084 --> 00:19:14,644 # She says he'll do one thing # 401 00:19:14,686 --> 00:19:17,086 # And then he goes and does another thing # 402 00:19:17,122 --> 00:19:20,922 # Oh, who organized all of my ex-girlfriends # 403 00:19:20,959 --> 00:19:24,326 # Into a choir and got them to sing? # 404 00:19:26,231 --> 00:19:28,165 # Who? Who? # 405 00:19:29,801 --> 00:19:31,496 # Mmm, shut up # 406 00:19:35,807 --> 00:19:38,173 # Shut up, girlfriends from the past # 407 00:19:43,649 --> 00:19:46,618 # Mimi will no longer see me # 408 00:19:46,652 --> 00:19:49,485 # Britney... Britney hit me # 409 00:19:49,521 --> 00:19:53,321 # Paula, Persephone, Stella and Stephanie # 410 00:19:53,358 --> 00:19:56,293 # There must be 50 ways that lovers have left me # 411 00:19:56,328 --> 00:20:00,230 # Carol Brown just took a bus out of town # 412 00:20:02,768 --> 00:20:05,168 # Love is a delicate thing # 413 00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:06,933 # It could just float away on the breeze # 414 00:20:06,972 --> 00:20:09,497 # He said the same thing to me # 415 00:20:09,541 --> 00:20:11,566 # How can we ever know # 416 00:20:11,610 --> 00:20:13,510 # We've found the right person in this world? # 417 00:20:13,545 --> 00:20:15,979 # He means he looks at other girls # 418 00:20:16,014 --> 00:20:17,845 # Love is a mystery # 419 00:20:17,883 --> 00:20:20,443 # It does not follow a rule # 420 00:20:20,485 --> 00:20:22,350 # This guy is a fool # 421 00:20:22,387 --> 00:20:24,548 # He'll always be a boy # 422 00:20:24,590 --> 00:20:26,490 # He's a man who never grew up # 423 00:20:26,525 --> 00:20:28,823 # I thought I told you to shut up... # 424 00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:34,199 # Lola, you told me you were in a coma # 425 00:20:37,903 --> 00:20:40,997 # Tiffany, you said that you had an epiphany # 426 00:20:42,941 --> 00:20:47,742 # Mmm, would you like a little cereal? # 427 00:20:47,779 --> 00:20:50,145 # Who organized this choir of ex-girlfriends? # 428 00:20:50,182 --> 00:20:53,743 # Was it you, Carol Brown? Was it you, Carol Brown? # 429 00:20:53,785 --> 00:20:58,449 # Carol Brown just took a bus out of town # 430 00:21:00,259 --> 00:21:03,558 # But I'm hoping that you'll stick around # 431 00:21:05,030 --> 00:21:08,329 - # Stick around # - # Do do, do-do-do-do # 432 00:21:08,367 --> 00:21:11,530 - # Stick around # - # Do do, do-do-do-do # 433 00:21:11,570 --> 00:21:14,698 # Do do, do-do-do-do # 434 00:21:14,740 --> 00:21:15,934 # Just stick around # 435 00:21:15,974 --> 00:21:17,999 # Do do, do-do-do-do # 436 00:21:18,043 --> 00:21:19,601 # Stick around. # 437 00:21:19,645 --> 00:21:21,840 - Hey, Dave. - Oh hey, guys. 438 00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:24,405 - You seen Jemaine? - Wait a second. 439 00:21:24,449 --> 00:21:25,677 Which one are you? 440 00:21:25,717 --> 00:21:27,014 - This is Bret. - Bret. 441 00:21:27,052 --> 00:21:29,213 - Okay. - Yeah, not looking for me. 442 00:21:29,254 --> 00:21:30,687 No, I haven't seen him. 443 00:21:33,058 --> 00:21:34,923 Well, we're looking for him. 444 00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:37,861 He's missing, all right, David? We're looking for him. 445 00:21:37,896 --> 00:21:39,591 If you find him can you tell him that we're looking for him? 446 00:21:39,631 --> 00:21:42,327 - All right. - Thank you. Keep looking. 447 00:21:42,367 --> 00:21:44,267 Yeah, if you see him or his girlfriend... 448 00:21:44,303 --> 00:21:46,669 - Or start looking. ...let us know. 449 00:21:46,705 --> 00:21:48,332 - And then keep looking. - Got it. 450 00:21:48,373 --> 00:21:49,965 - Thank you. - Forget about it. 451 00:21:50,008 --> 00:21:52,533 See you, Murray. See you, Jemaine. 452 00:21:52,577 --> 00:21:55,068 Oh, Bret, he said Jemaine. 453 00:21:55,113 --> 00:21:57,377 They're gone. 454 00:21:57,416 --> 00:21:59,247 - Thank you, Dave. - Don't worry about it, guys. 455 00:21:59,284 --> 00:22:01,309 I just think it's really cool that you love each other 456 00:22:01,353 --> 00:22:03,218 even though you're from Austria 457 00:22:03,255 --> 00:22:05,621 and you're from someplace no one's even fucking heard of. 458 00:22:05,657 --> 00:22:07,284 - Australia. - New Zealand. 459 00:22:07,326 --> 00:22:09,521 Exactly. Because it shouldn't matter 460 00:22:09,561 --> 00:22:11,256 where you're from when love's involved. 461 00:22:11,296 --> 00:22:14,823 It's like that movie, "Interracial Hole Stretchers 2." 462 00:22:14,866 --> 00:22:17,334 She was white and they were black, 463 00:22:17,369 --> 00:22:19,428 but it didn't matter in the end, did it? 464 00:22:19,471 --> 00:22:20,995 Because they were in love. 465 00:22:21,039 --> 00:22:23,906 I haven't seen that one. 466 00:22:23,942 --> 00:22:25,273 Well, it really affected me. 467 00:22:25,310 --> 00:22:28,302 I better get packed up. I'll see you at 4:00. 468 00:22:28,347 --> 00:22:30,110 I love you, Big J. 469 00:22:31,683 --> 00:22:33,548 I love you too. 470 00:22:33,585 --> 00:22:37,146 So you're just gonna elope? Just leave the city and leave the band? 471 00:22:37,189 --> 00:22:39,851 Yeah, I'm going to New Jersey. 472 00:22:39,891 --> 00:22:41,916 Wow. New Jersey, huh? 473 00:22:41,960 --> 00:22:44,019 I'd love to go there. 474 00:22:44,062 --> 00:22:47,998 But I got a lot of shit going on in the States right now. 475 00:22:50,268 --> 00:22:51,292 Bye, Dave. 476 00:22:52,471 --> 00:22:53,733 Don't drink the water. 477 00:23:19,898 --> 00:23:22,560 Excuse me. Have you seen an Australian girl around here? 478 00:23:22,601 --> 00:23:24,125 We're eloping to New Jersey. 479 00:23:24,169 --> 00:23:27,730 Sorry, pal. Haven't seen her. 480 00:23:27,773 --> 00:23:29,638 How much is it to New Jersey, by the way? 481 00:23:29,674 --> 00:23:32,666 I don't go to New Jersey. I only ride around the park. 482 00:23:32,711 --> 00:23:34,679 - That's weird. - Yeah. 483 00:23:34,713 --> 00:23:37,944 She said she'd done it before. 484 00:23:40,252 --> 00:23:42,277 Oh no. 485 00:23:42,320 --> 00:23:44,311 Oh no. 486 00:23:48,794 --> 00:23:51,319 Take me to Chinatown and do not delay, sir. 487 00:23:51,363 --> 00:23:53,695 Look, just around the park. 488 00:23:53,732 --> 00:23:55,256 Ah, yes, you said that. Yes. 489 00:23:55,300 --> 00:23:57,165 Yeah. 490 00:23:57,202 --> 00:23:59,295 Sorry. I'm so sorry. 491 00:24:17,389 --> 00:24:20,620 Jemaine. Where've you been? 492 00:24:22,093 --> 00:24:24,926 Bret, have you seen Keitha? 493 00:24:24,963 --> 00:24:26,590 She robbed us. 494 00:24:26,631 --> 00:24:28,792 Her and her friends jumped me and taped me to the door. 495 00:24:28,834 --> 00:24:31,132 Did she mention me at all? 496 00:24:31,169 --> 00:24:33,228 No. Sorry, man. 497 00:24:34,406 --> 00:24:36,135 I'm not sure about her and me. 498 00:24:36,174 --> 00:24:37,835 Could you pass me my sandwich, please? 499 00:24:37,876 --> 00:24:39,901 Okay. 500 00:24:39,945 --> 00:24:41,537 Here's your sandwich. 501 00:24:41,580 --> 00:24:44,708 - Would you like a napkin? - No thanks. 502 00:24:44,749 --> 00:24:47,309 - Can I get a hug? - Huh? 503 00:24:47,352 --> 00:24:48,944 Can I get a hug? Hug? 504 00:24:48,987 --> 00:24:51,182 - No. No. - A hug? 505 00:24:55,260 --> 00:24:56,784 Unfair. 506 00:24:56,828 --> 00:24:58,819 I'm not participating in this hug. 507 00:25:00,799 --> 00:25:02,926 Sorry, man. 508 00:25:02,968 --> 00:25:04,765 It'll be okay. 509 00:25:20,952 --> 00:25:24,149 # Going to the party, sipping on Bacardi # 510 00:25:24,189 --> 00:25:27,556 # Want to meet a hottie, but there's Adam, Steve and Marty # 511 00:25:27,592 --> 00:25:30,959 # There's Billy, Todd and Tommy, they're on leave from the army # 512 00:25:30,996 --> 00:25:34,432 # The only boobs I see tonight will be made of origami # 513 00:25:34,466 --> 00:25:36,127 # Tell the fellas, make it understood # 514 00:25:36,167 --> 00:25:37,998 # It ain't no good if there's too much wood # 515 00:25:38,036 --> 00:25:41,369 # Make sure you know before you go, the dance floor bro-ho ratio # 516 00:25:41,406 --> 00:25:44,637 # Five to one is a brodeo, tell Steve and Mark it's time to go # 517 00:25:44,676 --> 00:25:48,305 # Wait outside all night to find 20 dudes in a conga line # 518 00:25:48,346 --> 00:25:51,873 # Too many dicks on the dance floor # 519 00:25:51,917 --> 00:25:55,148 # Too many dicks on the dance floor. #