1 00:00:34,098 --> 00:00:36,099 T-T-T-This is just sloppy craftsmanship. 2 00:00:36,183 --> 00:00:37,517 Hey, Rick. 3 00:00:37,601 --> 00:00:40,770 Boy, sure is really especially beautiful out there today, huh? 4 00:00:40,854 --> 00:00:42,063 Oh, yes, Morty. 5 00:00:42,147 --> 00:00:43,940 I-it's almost unbelievable, isn't it? 6 00:00:44,024 --> 00:00:45,066 Yeah, you know? 7 00:00:45,150 --> 00:00:46,317 There's something about the air 8 00:00:46,402 --> 00:00:48,027 and just the way the sunshine is. 9 00:00:48,112 --> 00:00:49,028 Uh, sure, buddy. Yeah. 10 00:00:49,113 --> 00:00:50,780 Sure. B-brilliant. Very convincing. 11 00:00:50,864 --> 00:00:51,781 Wha... convincing? 12 00:00:51,865 --> 00:00:52,949 Oh. Responsive, too. 13 00:00:53,033 --> 00:00:54,325 In real time. I love it. 14 00:00:54,410 --> 00:00:55,994 Uhh...okay. 15 00:00:56,078 --> 00:00:57,245 I'm going to work. 16 00:00:57,329 --> 00:00:58,663 Morty, good morning. 17 00:00:58,747 --> 00:00:59,789 Dad, good morning. 18 00:00:59,873 --> 00:01:01,749 I am going to work. Goodbye. 19 00:01:01,834 --> 00:01:03,251 What's with mom? 20 00:01:03,335 --> 00:01:04,752 Oh, what's with mom? 21 00:01:04,837 --> 00:01:06,671 So, you're saying that she's acting weird? 22 00:01:06,755 --> 00:01:08,256 How sophisticated. 23 00:01:08,340 --> 00:01:09,549 Careful, guys. 24 00:01:09,633 --> 00:01:11,426 You're gonna burn out the CPU with this one. 25 00:01:11,510 --> 00:01:12,719 Okay, you know what, Rick? 26 00:01:12,803 --> 00:01:13,886 You're acting weird, too. 27 00:01:13,971 --> 00:01:16,723 Whatever, quote-unquote "Morty." 28 00:01:16,807 --> 00:01:17,974 All right, well... 29 00:01:18,058 --> 00:01:19,309 I'll see you after school. 30 00:01:19,393 --> 00:01:21,144 Ow! Oof! Ugh! 31 00:01:21,228 --> 00:01:22,228 Damn it! 32 00:01:22,313 --> 00:01:23,479 I'm all right. I'm okay. 33 00:01:25,816 --> 00:01:28,985 All right, who can tell me what 5 x 9 is? 34 00:01:30,779 --> 00:01:31,613 Morty? 35 00:01:31,697 --> 00:01:32,572 Uh, me? 36 00:01:32,656 --> 00:01:33,823 What is 5 x 9? 37 00:01:33,907 --> 00:01:36,993 Umm...you know, it's uhh...at least 40. 38 00:01:38,245 --> 00:01:40,455 Morty, that's exactly correct! 39 00:01:40,539 --> 00:01:43,041 5 x 9 is at least 40! 40 00:01:43,125 --> 00:01:44,000 Come up here. 41 00:01:44,084 --> 00:01:45,418 Whoo! Way to go, Morty! 42 00:01:45,502 --> 00:01:47,879 Everybody, this is the best student. 43 00:01:47,963 --> 00:01:49,881 I want you to be the teacher today. 44 00:01:49,965 --> 00:01:51,341 Teach us, Morty! 45 00:01:51,425 --> 00:01:52,592 Interesting. 46 00:01:52,676 --> 00:01:54,052 W-w-w-what do you want me to teach you? 47 00:01:54,136 --> 00:01:55,178 Ooh, ooh! 48 00:01:55,262 --> 00:01:57,013 How do you make concentrated dark matter? 49 00:01:57,097 --> 00:01:58,264 Oh, that's a good question. 50 00:01:58,349 --> 00:01:59,682 Concentrated huh? 51 00:01:59,767 --> 00:02:00,892 Concentrated dark matter... 52 00:02:00,976 --> 00:02:03,478 the fuel for accelerated space travel. 53 00:02:03,562 --> 00:02:04,562 Now, do you know how to make it? 54 00:02:04,647 --> 00:02:05,521 Umm... 55 00:02:05,606 --> 00:02:06,522 Come on, Morty. 56 00:02:06,607 --> 00:02:08,775 Isn't your grandpa, like, a scientist? 57 00:02:08,859 --> 00:02:11,402 Oh, yeah, but, you know, he told me that I shouldn't go 58 00:02:11,487 --> 00:02:14,113 around spouting off about, you know, his science and stuff. 59 00:02:14,198 --> 00:02:17,200 I bet you've seen him make concentrated dark matter a lot. 60 00:02:17,284 --> 00:02:20,453 You know, if you tell us, I'll be your girlfriend. 61 00:02:20,537 --> 00:02:21,621 Uh, y-you will? 62 00:02:21,705 --> 00:02:23,623 Seems like a rare opportunity, Morty. 63 00:02:25,084 --> 00:02:26,834 Morty, u-uh, come on. There's a family emergency. 64 00:02:26,919 --> 00:02:28,002 Stop right there! 65 00:02:28,087 --> 00:02:29,212 If he leaves, I'm giving him an "F." 66 00:02:29,296 --> 00:02:30,254 He doesn't care. 67 00:02:30,339 --> 00:02:31,297 Aw, man! 68 00:02:31,382 --> 00:02:32,715 Rick, I have to go back! 69 00:02:32,800 --> 00:02:34,175 I think I was about to get married! 70 00:02:34,259 --> 00:02:35,343 Ugh! Take a shower with me, Morty. 71 00:02:35,427 --> 00:02:36,260 What?! 72 00:02:36,345 --> 00:02:37,553 Listen to me, Morty. 73 00:02:37,638 --> 00:02:39,430 Get your clothes off and get in the shower right now. 74 00:02:39,515 --> 00:02:41,224 Y-y-y-you got to trust me, Morty. 75 00:02:41,308 --> 00:02:42,266 Ugh! 76 00:02:42,351 --> 00:02:43,643 I'm gonna get an "F" in class, Rick. 77 00:02:43,727 --> 00:02:44,852 Morty, that's not class. 78 00:02:44,937 --> 00:02:46,396 T-T-T-That wasn't your teacher. 79 00:02:46,480 --> 00:02:47,647 This isn't your school. 80 00:02:47,731 --> 00:02:49,273 This entire world is not the world. 81 00:02:49,358 --> 00:02:51,734 We're inside a huge simulation chamber on an alien spaceship. 82 00:02:51,819 --> 00:02:52,735 Wait a minute. 83 00:02:52,820 --> 00:02:53,986 W-what are you talking about? 84 00:02:54,071 --> 00:02:55,905 It's all fake Morty... all of it. 85 00:02:55,989 --> 00:02:59,742 Nanobotic renderings, a bunch of crazy fake nonsense, Morty. 86 00:02:59,827 --> 00:03:01,577 I couldn't say so until we got in the shower. 87 00:03:01,662 --> 00:03:02,870 They won't monitor us in here. 88 00:03:02,955 --> 00:03:04,455 Monitor us?! W-who?! 89 00:03:04,540 --> 00:03:05,957 Zigerion scammers, Morty... 90 00:03:06,041 --> 00:03:09,127 the Galaxy's most ambitious, least successful con artists. 91 00:03:09,211 --> 00:03:11,379 You know, it's lucky for us they're also really 92 00:03:11,463 --> 00:03:12,422 uncomfortable with nudity. 93 00:03:12,506 --> 00:03:13,673 Aw, come on, Rick. 94 00:03:13,757 --> 00:03:15,007 If everyone's just gonna be insane today, 95 00:03:15,092 --> 00:03:17,135 at least let me be insane with Jessica. 96 00:03:17,219 --> 00:03:18,177 I can't let you do that, Morty. 97 00:03:18,262 --> 00:03:19,053 Give it to me! 98 00:03:19,138 --> 00:03:19,929 No! 99 00:03:20,013 --> 00:03:20,847 You give it to me! 100 00:03:20,931 --> 00:03:22,765 G-g-give it! No, Rick! 101 00:03:31,567 --> 00:03:33,234 Oh, God, Sir! They're still naked! 102 00:03:33,318 --> 00:03:34,777 Ugh. 103 00:03:34,862 --> 00:03:37,113 Well, check every five Quintons and tell me when they're not. 104 00:03:37,197 --> 00:03:39,407 I think we should make Kevin look, sir. 105 00:03:39,491 --> 00:03:40,450 What?! No! 106 00:03:40,534 --> 00:03:41,951 W-w-why would you even say that? 107 00:03:42,035 --> 00:03:44,078 Uh, sir, we have a situation over here. 108 00:03:44,163 --> 00:03:45,705 If there's a wiener on that monitor, 109 00:03:45,789 --> 00:03:47,290 I swear to god, Stu... 110 00:03:47,374 --> 00:03:49,292 something is drawing a lot of processing power. 111 00:03:49,376 --> 00:03:50,543 Oh, wait. No wonder. 112 00:03:50,627 --> 00:03:53,004 There's another real human in the simulator. 113 00:03:53,088 --> 00:03:55,339 Okay, Jerry... big pitch meeting. 114 00:03:55,424 --> 00:03:56,549 Make-or-break time. 115 00:03:57,634 --> 00:03:58,551 You can do this. 116 00:03:58,635 --> 00:03:59,677 How did this ha ppen?! 117 00:03:59,762 --> 00:04:01,179 Where's the Abductions Department? 118 00:04:01,263 --> 00:04:03,806 Hey, man, Abductions just follows the acquisition order. 119 00:04:03,891 --> 00:04:05,308 Don't put this on Acquisitions! 120 00:04:05,392 --> 00:04:07,935 We only acquire humans that haven't been simulated! 121 00:04:08,020 --> 00:04:10,730 Well, simulations doesn't simulate anybody that's been 122 00:04:10,814 --> 00:04:12,940 abducted, so oh, I see! 123 00:04:13,025 --> 00:04:14,317 Oh, oh! It was no one's fault. 124 00:04:14,401 --> 00:04:15,568 Oh, okay. 125 00:04:15,652 --> 00:04:16,819 I'm sorry. Well, then, problem solved. 126 00:04:16,904 --> 00:04:17,945 Oh, wait... no. 127 00:04:18,030 --> 00:04:19,989 There's still another human in here! 128 00:04:20,073 --> 00:04:21,407 Who is he? 129 00:04:21,492 --> 00:04:22,992 Rick's son-in-law, Jerry Smith. 130 00:04:23,076 --> 00:04:25,870 So far, he hasn't noticed he's in a simulation. 131 00:04:27,039 --> 00:04:28,498 Well, cap his sector at 5% processing, 132 00:04:28,582 --> 00:04:30,708 keep his settings on auto, and we'll deal with him later. 133 00:04:30,793 --> 00:04:32,919 Rick Sanchez is the target. 134 00:04:35,506 --> 00:04:36,506 Got to relax. 135 00:04:36,590 --> 00:04:37,882 It's just a pitch. 136 00:04:37,966 --> 00:04:39,217 Got to relax. 137 00:04:41,094 --> 00:04:42,553 This is Earth radio. 138 00:04:42,638 --> 00:04:45,264 And now, here's...human music. 139 00:04:48,560 --> 00:04:50,478 Hmm. Human music. 140 00:04:50,562 --> 00:04:53,022 I like it. 141 00:05:06,119 --> 00:05:07,036 Rick! 142 00:05:07,120 --> 00:05:08,204 Uhp, uhp, uhp! 143 00:05:08,288 --> 00:05:09,580 Morty, keep your hands off your ding-dong! 144 00:05:09,665 --> 00:05:11,082 It's the only way we can speak freely. 145 00:05:11,166 --> 00:05:12,375 Look around you, Morty. 146 00:05:12,459 --> 00:05:14,502 Do you really think this world is real? 147 00:05:14,586 --> 00:05:17,171 You'd have to be an idiot not to notice all the slop by details. 148 00:05:17,256 --> 00:05:19,382 Look... that guy's putting a bun between two hot dogs. 149 00:05:19,466 --> 00:05:20,508 I don't know, Rick. 150 00:05:20,592 --> 00:05:22,051 I mean, I've seen people do that before. 151 00:05:22,135 --> 00:05:23,386 Well, look at that old lady. 152 00:05:23,470 --> 00:05:25,096 She's... she's walking a cat on a leash. 153 00:05:25,180 --> 00:05:27,098 Uh, Mrs. Spencer does that all the time, Rick. 154 00:05:27,182 --> 00:05:29,517 Look, I-I-I don't want to hear about Mrs. S pencer, Morty! 155 00:05:29,601 --> 00:05:30,685 She's an idiot! 156 00:05:30,769 --> 00:05:31,644 All right, all right, there. 157 00:05:31,728 --> 00:05:32,895 W-what about that, Morty? 158 00:05:32,980 --> 00:05:34,730 Okay, okay, you got me on that one. 159 00:05:34,815 --> 00:05:35,940 Oh, really, Morty? 160 00:05:36,024 --> 00:05:37,483 Are you sure you haven't seen that somewhere 161 00:05:37,568 --> 00:05:38,442 in real life before? 162 00:05:38,527 --> 00:05:39,777 No, no. I haven't seen that. 163 00:05:39,862 --> 00:05:41,821 I mean, why would a pop tart want to live inside 164 00:05:41,905 --> 00:05:43,239 a toaster, Rick? 165 00:05:43,323 --> 00:05:45,700 I mean, that would be, like, the scariest place for them to live. 166 00:05:45,784 --> 00:05:46,826 You know what I mean? 167 00:05:46,910 --> 00:05:48,077 You're missing the point, Morty. 168 00:05:48,161 --> 00:05:50,079 Why would he drive a smaller toaster with wheels? 169 00:05:50,163 --> 00:05:52,665 I mean, does your car look like a smaller version of your house? 170 00:05:52,749 --> 00:05:53,791 No. 171 00:05:53,876 --> 00:05:54,876 So, why are they doing this? 172 00:05:54,960 --> 00:05:56,043 W-what do they want? 173 00:05:56,128 --> 00:05:57,211 Well, that would be obvious to you, Morty, 174 00:05:57,296 --> 00:05:58,504 if you'd been paying attention. 175 00:06:01,174 --> 00:06:03,009 We got the President of the United States in here! 176 00:06:03,093 --> 00:06:05,928 We need 10cc of concentrated dark matter, stat, or he'll die! 177 00:06:06,013 --> 00:06:07,972 Concentrated dark matter? 178 00:06:08,056 --> 00:06:09,682 They were asking about that in class. 179 00:06:09,766 --> 00:06:11,434 Yeah, it's a special fuel I invented to travel through 180 00:06:11,518 --> 00:06:13,144 space faster than anybody else. 181 00:06:13,228 --> 00:06:15,396 These Zigerions are always trying to scam me out of my secrets, 182 00:06:15,480 --> 00:06:18,024 but they made a big mistake this time, Morty. 183 00:06:18,108 --> 00:06:19,901 They dragged you into this. 184 00:06:19,985 --> 00:06:21,068 Now they're gonna pay! 185 00:06:21,153 --> 00:06:22,695 What do you... w-w-what are we gonna do? 186 00:06:22,779 --> 00:06:24,697 We'll scam the scammers, Morty. 187 00:06:24,781 --> 00:06:27,491 And we're gonna take them for everything they've got. 188 00:06:27,576 --> 00:06:30,202 National Apple Farmers of America, 189 00:06:30,287 --> 00:06:32,371 welcome to our Ad Agency. 190 00:06:32,456 --> 00:06:34,373 I'm Jerry Smith. 191 00:06:35,500 --> 00:06:36,417 All right. 192 00:06:36,501 --> 00:06:37,877 I'll just...get to the pitch. 193 00:06:37,961 --> 00:06:41,923 Um, simple question, gentlemen, what are apples? 194 00:06:42,007 --> 00:06:43,341 Excuse me. 195 00:06:43,425 --> 00:06:45,134 Ahh. 196 00:06:47,346 --> 00:06:49,221 What are apples? 197 00:06:49,306 --> 00:06:51,891 Apples are food. 198 00:06:51,975 --> 00:06:54,477 And...when do we need food? 199 00:06:54,561 --> 00:06:56,437 When we're hungry. 200 00:06:57,606 --> 00:07:00,566 With that, I give you your new slogan! 201 00:07:02,235 --> 00:07:04,070 Well, say something! 202 00:07:04,154 --> 00:07:05,154 Do you like it? 203 00:07:05,238 --> 00:07:06,280 Yes. 204 00:07:06,365 --> 00:07:07,281 You do? 205 00:07:07,366 --> 00:07:08,407 Yes. 206 00:07:08,492 --> 00:07:10,034 So...I sold it? 207 00:07:10,118 --> 00:07:12,036 I sold the idea? 208 00:07:12,120 --> 00:07:13,079 Yes. 209 00:07:13,163 --> 00:07:14,789 Oh, my god! Thank you! 210 00:07:14,873 --> 00:07:16,749 Thank you. 211 00:07:16,833 --> 00:07:17,750 You're welcome. 212 00:07:22,130 --> 00:07:23,255 Hey! 213 00:07:23,340 --> 00:07:24,715 I just sold my first pitch! 214 00:07:26,259 --> 00:07:27,385 Slow down! Lookin' good. 215 00:07:27,469 --> 00:07:28,552 My man! 216 00:07:31,348 --> 00:07:32,473 Hello. 217 00:07:32,557 --> 00:07:34,767 Guess who just sold the apples campaign. 218 00:07:34,851 --> 00:07:36,477 Who just sold the apples campaign? 219 00:07:36,561 --> 00:07:37,937 Me! 220 00:07:38,021 --> 00:07:40,648 I guess it wasn't a rip-off of "Got milk? " after all. 221 00:07:40,732 --> 00:07:42,525 Guess someonewas wrong. 222 00:07:42,609 --> 00:07:43,693 Yes. 223 00:07:43,777 --> 00:07:45,236 Well, all is forgiven, because right now, 224 00:07:45,320 --> 00:07:47,571 I've got an erection the size of an East coast lighthouse, 225 00:07:47,656 --> 00:07:49,740 and I'm coming home to share it with my beautiful wife. 226 00:07:49,825 --> 00:07:50,658 Okay. 227 00:07:50,742 --> 00:07:51,534 Wait... really? 228 00:07:51,618 --> 00:07:52,451 Yes. 229 00:07:52,536 --> 00:07:54,286 Yes! See you in 10 minutes! 230 00:07:54,371 --> 00:07:55,329 Hey! 231 00:07:55,414 --> 00:07:56,956 I'm going to make love to my wife! 232 00:07:57,040 --> 00:07:58,374 Lookin' good. 233 00:07:58,458 --> 00:07:59,250 Slow down! 234 00:07:59,334 --> 00:08:00,209 My man! 235 00:08:01,753 --> 00:08:03,004 Aw, geez, Rick. 236 00:08:03,088 --> 00:08:04,755 I-I don't know if I like this plan, you know? 237 00:08:04,840 --> 00:08:07,675 I mean, crowds, t-t-t-they have a tendency 238 00:08:07,759 --> 00:08:08,718 to make me really nervous. 239 00:08:08,802 --> 00:08:09,927 Morty, relax. 240 00:08:10,012 --> 00:08:11,679 It's just a bunch of 1s and Os out there. 241 00:08:11,763 --> 00:08:12,972 You're gonna be fine. 242 00:08:13,056 --> 00:08:14,223 Just follow my lead. 243 00:08:14,307 --> 00:08:15,808 Yo, deejay, drop that beat. 244 00:08:18,687 --> 00:08:20,146 Uh-oh, Morty. 245 00:08:20,230 --> 00:08:23,315 This crowd looks too small for one of ourfamous rap concerts. 246 00:08:23,400 --> 00:08:25,234 I don't think we can perform our new song, 247 00:08:25,318 --> 00:08:27,528 "The Recipe for Concentrated Dark Matter," 248 00:08:27,612 --> 00:08:28,738 for a crowd this tiny. 249 00:08:28,822 --> 00:08:30,322 You got that right, Rick. 250 00:08:33,785 --> 00:08:35,453 Now that's more like it! 251 00:08:35,537 --> 00:08:37,163 Morty, here we go. 252 00:08:37,247 --> 00:08:40,124 Let me hear everybody say "Hey-oh!" yeah! 253 00:08:41,626 --> 00:08:42,918 All the ladies say, "Yeah!" 254 00:08:44,087 --> 00:08:46,255 Everybody over 30, do this with your hands! 255 00:08:46,339 --> 00:08:48,924 Everybody with a red shirt, jump up and down! 256 00:09:00,812 --> 00:09:01,896 Mm. Mm. Mm. 257 00:09:01,980 --> 00:09:03,439 Yeah, don't move. 258 00:09:03,523 --> 00:09:05,733 Mm, mm, mm, mm! 259 00:09:05,817 --> 00:09:07,109 Mm! 260 00:09:08,445 --> 00:09:09,904 Yo, everyone whose first name begins with an "L" 261 00:09:09,988 --> 00:09:12,615 who isn't Hispanic, walk in a circle the same number of times 262 00:09:12,699 --> 00:09:15,326 as the square root of your age times 10! 263 00:09:18,663 --> 00:09:19,455 Run, Morty! 264 00:09:19,539 --> 00:09:20,748 Before the system reboots! 265 00:09:22,250 --> 00:09:23,292 Yeah! You like that? 266 00:09:23,376 --> 00:09:25,377 Now who's unremarkable? 267 00:09:25,462 --> 00:09:26,921 You hungry for apples? 268 00:09:28,590 --> 00:09:30,633 Are you hungry...for...apples?! 269 00:09:35,722 --> 00:09:37,264 Oh, my God. 270 00:09:37,349 --> 00:09:40,184 That's the best sex I've ever had in my life. 271 00:09:40,268 --> 00:09:44,480 It's...it's...too good. 272 00:09:44,564 --> 00:09:46,774 I don't deserve this, Beth. 273 00:09:46,858 --> 00:09:48,943 I'm a fraud. 274 00:09:49,027 --> 00:09:49,985 Oh, man, Rick! 275 00:09:50,070 --> 00:09:51,320 W-w-w-where we running to? 276 00:09:51,404 --> 00:09:52,655 Out of the simulation, Morty. 277 00:09:52,739 --> 00:09:54,657 Normally, the chamber operates like a treadmill, 278 00:09:54,741 --> 00:09:56,492 with the virtual world disappearing behind us 279 00:09:56,576 --> 00:09:58,536 and being rendered in front of us as we move through it, 280 00:09:58,620 --> 00:10:01,580 but while it's frozen, Morty, we can get to... 281 00:10:01,665 --> 00:10:03,290 the edge. 282 00:10:03,375 --> 00:10:04,333 Here we go. 283 00:10:04,417 --> 00:10:05,292 Holy crap! 284 00:10:05,377 --> 00:10:06,335 Come on, Morty. 285 00:10:08,004 --> 00:10:10,047 Sir, they're over the edge. 286 00:10:10,132 --> 00:10:11,215 Yes, they are. 287 00:10:11,299 --> 00:10:14,218 Just...as...planned. 288 00:10:18,181 --> 00:10:20,099 Oh, this is going to be such a mindfuck! 289 00:10:22,269 --> 00:10:24,478 Keep your eyes peeled for the central processing room, Morty. 290 00:10:24,563 --> 00:10:26,230 That's how we're gonna scam these idiots. 291 00:10:26,314 --> 00:10:28,649 So, hey, why do these aliens keep coming after you, Rick, 292 00:10:28,733 --> 00:10:30,109 if you're so much smarter than them? 293 00:10:30,193 --> 00:10:31,777 It's an obsession for them at this point. 294 00:10:31,862 --> 00:10:33,696 The Zigerions have been trying to outsmart 295 00:10:33,780 --> 00:10:34,989 me for years, Morty. 296 00:10:35,073 --> 00:10:37,074 Every time they do, I'm one step ahead of them. 297 00:10:37,159 --> 00:10:38,200 Aha! 298 00:10:38,285 --> 00:10:39,368 Here we go. 299 00:10:40,787 --> 00:10:42,580 Grab as many processors as you can carry, Morty. 300 00:10:42,664 --> 00:10:44,039 These guys aren't good at much, 301 00:10:44,124 --> 00:10:46,333 but they're really good at making these chips. 302 00:10:47,752 --> 00:10:49,253 I've got so many, I can barely hold them all. 303 00:10:50,338 --> 00:10:51,338 Look at... look at this. 304 00:10:51,423 --> 00:10:52,381 Oops. I dropped one. 305 00:10:52,465 --> 00:10:53,799 Don't worry about it, Morty. 306 00:10:53,884 --> 00:10:55,301 There's plenty of them, you little goofball. 307 00:10:56,511 --> 00:10:58,053 Come here, Morty! Oh, I gotcha! 308 00:10:58,138 --> 00:10:59,013 Come on, quit it, Rick! 309 00:10:59,097 --> 00:11:00,389 Quit it! 310 00:11:00,473 --> 00:11:02,391 Nothing wrong with just a little bit of horseplay every 311 00:11:02,475 --> 00:11:04,018 now and then, little fella. 312 00:11:15,780 --> 00:11:16,989 Wow. What do you know? 313 00:11:17,073 --> 00:11:18,407 Huh. That was easy. 314 00:11:18,491 --> 00:11:20,910 Totes malotes, dawg. 315 00:11:20,994 --> 00:11:22,119 Just kind of hard to believe, you know? 316 00:11:22,204 --> 00:11:23,579 Believe it, Morty. 317 00:11:23,663 --> 00:11:25,873 And once again, I'm flying away with everything I can carry, 318 00:11:25,957 --> 00:11:28,375 and the Zigerions got nothing of mine. 319 00:11:34,633 --> 00:11:35,841 Mr. Marklevitz, do you have a... 320 00:11:35,926 --> 00:11:37,051 minute to talk? 321 00:11:37,135 --> 00:11:38,510 Yes. 322 00:11:38,595 --> 00:11:40,179 Look, I'm a fraud. 323 00:11:40,263 --> 00:11:41,722 I mean, let's face it... 324 00:11:41,806 --> 00:11:44,225 "Hungry For Apples" is just a rip-off of "Got Milk?" 325 00:11:44,309 --> 00:11:45,517 It's almost identical. 326 00:11:45,602 --> 00:11:46,810 Yes. 327 00:11:46,895 --> 00:11:48,103 Okay. 328 00:11:48,188 --> 00:11:49,355 I deserve that. 329 00:11:49,439 --> 00:11:52,733 Umm...I guess... I'll just pack up my desk. 330 00:11:52,817 --> 00:11:54,026 Yes. 331 00:11:56,863 --> 00:11:59,448 Oh, my God. 332 00:11:59,532 --> 00:12:02,076 Wait. You know what?! No! 333 00:12:02,160 --> 00:12:04,161 The milk people don't have a patent on 334 00:12:04,246 --> 00:12:06,121 simple rhetorical questions! 335 00:12:06,206 --> 00:12:08,666 There's not even a single word in "Hungry For Apples" that's 336 00:12:08,750 --> 00:12:10,542 shared by "Got Milk?" 337 00:12:10,627 --> 00:12:12,461 It's a completely different slogan. 338 00:12:12,545 --> 00:12:13,837 It's different! 339 00:12:13,922 --> 00:12:15,839 And I shouldn't be fired. 340 00:12:15,924 --> 00:12:17,549 I should be promoted! 341 00:12:17,634 --> 00:12:18,801 - Yes. - Yeah! 342 00:12:18,885 --> 00:12:19,843 Wait. Really? 343 00:12:19,928 --> 00:12:20,970 - Yes. - Yes! 344 00:12:21,054 --> 00:12:22,596 I mean, I'm... it may be derivative, 345 00:12:22,681 --> 00:12:24,473 but it's the most successful campaign to come out of this 346 00:12:24,557 --> 00:12:25,474 agency in a long time. 347 00:12:25,558 --> 00:12:26,976 Yes. 348 00:12:27,060 --> 00:12:28,978 I-I'm not saying it should win an award for commercials, 349 00:12:29,062 --> 00:12:31,063 but it could certainly be nominatedfor an award 350 00:12:31,147 --> 00:12:33,023 for commercials specifically about apples, 351 00:12:33,108 --> 00:12:34,733 like...an Appley or something. 352 00:12:34,818 --> 00:12:35,818 Yes. 353 00:12:35,902 --> 00:12:36,944 Is there really an award called the Appley 354 00:12:37,028 --> 00:12:38,153 for Apple-Related ad campaigns? 355 00:12:38,238 --> 00:12:39,280 Yes. 356 00:12:39,364 --> 00:12:40,572 - Could we nominate me? - Yes. 357 00:12:40,657 --> 00:12:42,408 Holy crap! 358 00:12:48,290 --> 00:12:49,707 Get in, Morty. 359 00:12:49,791 --> 00:12:52,376 I'm gonna be able to use these processors to make some 360 00:12:52,460 --> 00:12:54,169 real important science stuff. 361 00:12:56,715 --> 00:12:57,923 Huh. 362 00:12:58,008 --> 00:12:59,174 I thought I entered the code right. 363 00:13:07,475 --> 00:13:08,976 Wha... well, what's this? 364 00:13:09,060 --> 00:13:11,520 W-what could this possibly be? 365 00:13:11,604 --> 00:13:14,189 Because it looks like you're inside a simulation... 366 00:13:14,274 --> 00:13:17,109 inside a simulation. 367 00:13:17,193 --> 00:13:18,736 You're still on the ship. 368 00:13:18,820 --> 00:13:20,362 Game-day bucket go boom. 369 00:13:20,447 --> 00:13:22,948 Sir, the, uh, doctor's appointment to examine the 370 00:13:23,033 --> 00:13:25,117 discoloration on your butthole flaps was... 371 00:13:25,201 --> 00:13:26,535 Too loud, Cynthia. 372 00:13:26,619 --> 00:13:27,786 Too loud and too specific. 373 00:13:27,871 --> 00:13:28,787 Uhh... 374 00:13:30,081 --> 00:13:31,874 We've known how to make concentrated dark matter 375 00:13:31,958 --> 00:13:33,917 for a long time. 376 00:13:34,002 --> 00:13:39,423 But now we also know the code to your fabled safe, Rick Sanchez! 377 00:13:39,507 --> 00:13:43,010 All your most valuable secrets will now be ours! 378 00:13:43,094 --> 00:13:44,762 Uh, yeah, until I get home before you and change the 379 00:13:44,846 --> 00:13:46,347 combination, you bunch of idiots! 380 00:13:46,431 --> 00:13:47,765 That is why you're never getting home. 381 00:13:47,849 --> 00:13:48,974 Get them! 382 00:13:52,604 --> 00:13:55,439 Run, Morty! 383 00:14:02,655 --> 00:14:04,490 Oh, my God! 384 00:14:21,007 --> 00:14:22,007 Ow! 385 00:14:31,142 --> 00:14:32,267 I got to tell you, this morning, 386 00:14:32,352 --> 00:14:33,811 I didn't even know this award existed. 387 00:14:33,895 --> 00:14:35,354 Now I'm holdingone. 388 00:14:35,438 --> 00:14:37,731 And...um... 389 00:14:37,816 --> 00:14:41,568 look, I want to say that today was the best day of my life... 390 00:14:41,653 --> 00:14:45,781 but...the truth is, it's... it's more meaningful than that. 391 00:14:45,865 --> 00:14:46,824 My man! 392 00:14:46,908 --> 00:14:48,158 Yes. Thank you, sir. 393 00:14:50,120 --> 00:14:53,705 I...am...finally complete! 394 00:14:56,626 --> 00:14:59,211 My... my... my... my man! 395 00:15:02,215 --> 00:15:03,632 Aah! 396 00:15:03,716 --> 00:15:04,967 What the hell?! 397 00:15:08,346 --> 00:15:09,471 No. 398 00:15:09,556 --> 00:15:10,472 - Jerry?! - Dad! 399 00:15:10,557 --> 00:15:12,015 What are you doing here? 400 00:15:12,100 --> 00:15:13,183 W-why are you dressed like a waiter? 401 00:15:13,268 --> 00:15:14,393 Screw it. We don't have time. 402 00:15:14,477 --> 00:15:15,269 Come on. 403 00:15:15,353 --> 00:15:16,770 No! 404 00:15:25,321 --> 00:15:26,238 Ohhhhh! 405 00:15:28,408 --> 00:15:29,575 Aah! 406 00:15:49,137 --> 00:15:51,513 Yes! Yes! Yes! 407 00:15:59,647 --> 00:16:00,606 Oof! 408 00:16:01,858 --> 00:16:03,275 Man up, Jerry! 409 00:16:03,359 --> 00:16:04,735 I may need you to work the lasers. 410 00:16:17,415 --> 00:16:19,249 Oh, man! They're hot on our tail, Rick! 411 00:16:19,334 --> 00:16:21,293 I guess they really do have concentrated dark matter. 412 00:16:21,377 --> 00:16:22,878 Well, you know how to make it, too, right, Rick? 413 00:16:22,962 --> 00:16:23,962 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 414 00:16:24,047 --> 00:16:25,339 Uh, check the engine room. 415 00:16:25,423 --> 00:16:28,091 We just need Cesium, Plutonic Quarks, and bottled water. 416 00:16:30,595 --> 00:16:31,595 It's all here, Rick! 417 00:16:31,679 --> 00:16:32,679 Wow, Morty. Lucky break. 418 00:16:32,764 --> 00:16:33,931 Grab that bucket. 419 00:16:34,015 --> 00:16:37,184 Okay, two parts Plutonic Quarks, one part Cesium. 420 00:16:37,268 --> 00:16:38,393 Okay. Uh-huh. 421 00:16:40,730 --> 00:16:41,897 All right. 422 00:16:41,981 --> 00:16:43,482 Now empty the water bottle into the bucket and pour 423 00:16:43,566 --> 00:16:46,568 it all into the fuel tank so we can get the hell out of here! 424 00:16:46,653 --> 00:16:47,694 What are you doing, Morty?! 425 00:16:47,779 --> 00:16:48,779 There's no time! 426 00:16:55,411 --> 00:16:57,079 Oh, no. 427 00:16:57,163 --> 00:16:58,288 What the... 428 00:16:58,373 --> 00:16:59,373 No! 429 00:17:04,629 --> 00:17:06,755 Oh, my God, Rick. 430 00:17:06,839 --> 00:17:08,507 How dumb are you? 431 00:17:08,591 --> 00:17:10,259 You're inside a simulation... 432 00:17:10,343 --> 00:17:12,344 of a simulation... 433 00:17:12,428 --> 00:17:15,138 inside another giant simulation! 434 00:17:16,599 --> 00:17:19,351 W-We never had the recipe for concentrated dark matter. 435 00:17:19,435 --> 00:17:21,019 But we do now! 436 00:17:21,104 --> 00:17:22,729 We do now, sucka! 437 00:17:22,814 --> 00:17:24,940 You simulated my grandson's genitalia?! 438 00:17:25,024 --> 00:17:27,442 Y-Y-You bunch of diabolical sons of bitches! 439 00:17:27,527 --> 00:17:29,820 Kevin fought real hard to supervise that project. 440 00:17:29,904 --> 00:17:31,905 You said you weren't gonna tell anyone! 441 00:17:31,990 --> 00:17:33,782 I'm never gonna live this down, am I? 442 00:17:33,866 --> 00:17:35,158 All right. Okay. All right, great. Wonderful. 443 00:17:35,243 --> 00:17:36,702 You win. Can we go home now? 444 00:17:36,786 --> 00:17:38,412 I don't know. Can you? 445 00:17:38,496 --> 00:17:39,371 Ha! Nice. 446 00:17:39,455 --> 00:17:41,039 Okay, okay. 447 00:17:41,124 --> 00:17:43,083 Show this gullible turd to his shuttle. 448 00:17:43,167 --> 00:17:44,459 I'm done with him. 449 00:17:44,544 --> 00:17:45,460 Oh, wait. Let me get a picture. 450 00:17:46,462 --> 00:17:47,963 Aww. Look at his face. 451 00:17:48,047 --> 00:17:50,173 He's trying to figure out if he's in a simulation still. 452 00:17:50,258 --> 00:17:51,216 Are you, Rick? 453 00:17:51,301 --> 00:17:52,634 Are you? 454 00:17:53,845 --> 00:17:55,053 You're not. 455 00:17:55,138 --> 00:17:57,097 Or areyou? 456 00:17:59,100 --> 00:18:02,019 Oh, a-and, by the way, I don't have discolored butthole flaps. 457 00:18:02,103 --> 00:18:03,437 That was part of the simulation. 458 00:18:03,521 --> 00:18:04,605 Oh. 459 00:18:04,689 --> 00:18:06,148 Uh, sir, should I cancel that appointment, then? 460 00:18:06,232 --> 00:18:07,691 Yeah! Of course you should! 461 00:18:08,985 --> 00:18:10,027 No, keep it. 462 00:18:10,111 --> 00:18:11,361 Move it up, actually, if you can. 463 00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:17,492 Hey, Jerry, don't worry about it. 464 00:18:17,577 --> 00:18:19,286 So what if the most meaningful day of your life was a 465 00:18:19,370 --> 00:18:21,830 simulation operating at minimum capacity? 466 00:18:21,914 --> 00:18:23,290 You know what, Rick? 467 00:18:23,374 --> 00:18:25,584 Those guys took you for a ride, too. 468 00:18:25,668 --> 00:18:27,711 You should try having a little respect for the dummies of the Universe, 469 00:18:27,795 --> 00:18:29,588 now that you're one of us. 470 00:18:29,672 --> 00:18:31,089 Maybe you're right, Jerry. 471 00:18:31,174 --> 00:18:32,883 Maybe you're right. 472 00:18:34,344 --> 00:18:36,595 All right, everybody. 473 00:18:36,679 --> 00:18:40,140 Two parts Plutonic Quarks... 474 00:18:40,224 --> 00:18:42,434 One part Cesium... 475 00:18:43,811 --> 00:18:45,979 A-and listen, I'm sorry for yelling earlier. 476 00:18:46,064 --> 00:18:48,440 I-I couldn't ask for a better staff. 477 00:18:48,524 --> 00:18:51,860 I love you guys, and I love all your families. 478 00:18:51,944 --> 00:18:55,072 And the final ingredient... 479 00:18:57,533 --> 00:18:58,617 Whoa! 480 00:18:58,701 --> 00:19:00,702 What the hell?! W-what happened back there? 481 00:19:00,787 --> 00:19:03,330 Why don't you ask the smartest people in the Universe, Jerry? 482 00:19:03,414 --> 00:19:05,207 Oh, yeah. you can't. 483 00:19:05,291 --> 00:19:06,625 They blew up. 484 00:19:46,999 --> 00:19:48,125 So... 485 00:19:48,209 --> 00:19:49,710 what do you think? 486 00:19:50,712 --> 00:19:51,503 You're fired. 487 00:19:51,587 --> 00:19:52,713 Wha... 488 00:19:52,797 --> 00:19:55,799 But t-this idea was tested in a state-of-the-art simulation. 489 00:19:55,883 --> 00:19:57,509 Well, then, it was a terrible simulation. 490 00:19:57,593 --> 00:19:59,094 Get out. 491 00:20:02,473 --> 00:20:05,892 Man, how does a guy like that go home and have sex with his wife? 492 00:20:06,769 --> 00:20:07,602 Hey, Morty. 493 00:20:07,687 --> 00:20:08,520 What? 494 00:20:08,604 --> 00:20:09,563 Hey, little buddy. 495 00:20:09,647 --> 00:20:11,440 H-h-how you doing in here right now? 496 00:20:11,524 --> 00:20:13,400 Aw, geez, Rick. What are you doing, man? 497 00:20:13,484 --> 00:20:14,860 Y-y-you're a good kid, Morty. 498 00:20:14,944 --> 00:20:16,945 Y-you're a real I-little c-character, Morty. 499 00:20:17,029 --> 00:20:18,280 Oh, boy. 500 00:20:18,364 --> 00:20:20,907 You know, I had a really rocky road today, M-Morty. 501 00:20:20,992 --> 00:20:23,034 You're my little friend, aren't you? 502 00:20:24,328 --> 00:20:26,455 We had some good times together, huh, M-Morty? 503 00:20:26,539 --> 00:20:28,582 We... you're a real true hero out in the field. 504 00:20:28,666 --> 00:20:31,793 You're a li... you're a real trooper, huh, M-M-Morty? 505 00:20:31,878 --> 00:20:32,961 Have you been drinking, Rick? 506 00:20:33,045 --> 00:20:34,296 I really appreciate you, Morty. 507 00:20:34,380 --> 00:20:35,714 O-okay, cool. 508 00:20:35,798 --> 00:20:37,466 A-all right, Rick... you little son of a bitch! 509 00:20:37,550 --> 00:20:39,384 Y-y... are you a simulation?! 510 00:20:39,469 --> 00:20:40,761 Huh?! Are you a simulation?! 511 00:20:40,845 --> 00:20:42,304 No! No! No! 512 00:20:42,388 --> 00:20:43,555 You little son of a bitch! 513 00:20:44,682 --> 00:20:46,266 I-I-I'm sorry, Morty. 514 00:20:46,350 --> 00:20:47,559 Y-you're a good... you're a good kid, Morty. 515 00:20:47,643 --> 00:20:48,727 Geez! 516 00:20:48,811 --> 00:20:49,895 Y-you're a good... you're a good kid. 517 00:20:49,979 --> 00:20:51,062 Oh, my god! 518 00:20:52,190 --> 00:20:54,733 W-W-What the hell? 519 00:20:54,817 --> 00:20:55,817 What a life. 520 00:20:57,612 --> 00:20:58,987 Did you get any of that? 521 00:20:59,071 --> 00:21:00,906 It's a good-a show! 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net