1 00:00:32,846 --> 00:00:34,097 Principal Vagina here... 2 00:00:34,181 --> 00:00:36,224 Don't let the name fool you. I'm very much in charge... 3 00:00:36,308 --> 00:00:39,143 reminding you that tonight is our annual Flu Season Dance. 4 00:00:39,228 --> 00:00:41,187 I don't know how many times I have to say this, 5 00:00:41,272 --> 00:00:43,147 but if you have the flu, stay home. 6 00:00:43,232 --> 00:00:44,148 Hey. 7 00:00:44,233 --> 00:00:46,067 The Flu Season Dance is about awareness, not celebration. 8 00:00:47,570 --> 00:00:49,404 You don't bring dead babies to Passover. 9 00:00:49,488 --> 00:00:53,491 Okay. Here we go. H-Hey, Jessica. Uh... 10 00:00:53,576 --> 00:00:55,535 What's up, Morty? 11 00:00:55,619 --> 00:00:56,828 What are you doing? 12 00:00:56,912 --> 00:00:58,538 - Um... - Wait, wait. 13 00:00:58,622 --> 00:01:00,748 Were you about to talk... to her? 14 00:01:00,833 --> 00:01:03,251 Well... I mean, I was thinking about it. 15 00:01:03,335 --> 00:01:05,295 Dude, stay in your league. 16 00:01:05,379 --> 00:01:07,630 Look at how hot she is. You don't see me going... 17 00:01:07,715 --> 00:01:09,465 to a bigger school in a wealthier district 18 00:01:09,550 --> 00:01:11,134 and hitting on their prettiest girl. 19 00:01:11,218 --> 00:01:12,552 Gee, thanks, Brad. 20 00:01:12,636 --> 00:01:14,262 I throw balls far. 21 00:01:14,346 --> 00:01:15,847 You want good words? 22 00:01:15,931 --> 00:01:17,557 Date a languager. 23 00:01:17,641 --> 00:01:19,392 Try not to worry about it, Morty. 24 00:01:19,476 --> 00:01:21,227 You're a good kid, and there's not a premium 25 00:01:21,312 --> 00:01:23,062 on that right now, but you'll be getting girls 26 00:01:23,147 --> 00:01:24,772 sometime after Brad's out of shape. 27 00:01:24,857 --> 00:01:26,441 You're missing the point, Dad. 28 00:01:26,525 --> 00:01:29,068 I don't want girls. I want Jessica. 29 00:01:29,153 --> 00:01:31,946 Ah, well, I remember feeling that way 30 00:01:32,031 --> 00:01:34,115 about a young lady named "your mom," 31 00:01:34,199 --> 00:01:35,575 and that's not an urban diss. 32 00:01:35,659 --> 00:01:37,160 Your mom was my Jessica. 33 00:01:37,244 --> 00:01:38,661 I remember the first time I saw her. 34 00:01:38,746 --> 00:01:40,204 I thought... - "I should get her pregnant, 35 00:01:40,289 --> 00:01:41,706 and then she'll have to marry me." 36 00:01:41,790 --> 00:01:43,916 I beg your pardon, Rick... inappropriate. 37 00:01:44,001 --> 00:01:45,585 Sorry, please proceed with your story 38 00:01:45,669 --> 00:01:47,295 about banging my daughter in high school. 39 00:01:47,379 --> 00:01:49,714 I'm not sure you wanna take romantic advice from this guy, Morty. 40 00:01:49,798 --> 00:01:51,716 His marriage is hanging from a thread. 41 00:01:51,800 --> 00:01:54,093 My marriage is fine, thank you. 42 00:01:54,178 --> 00:01:55,720 Jerry, it's your house... whatever you say it is 43 00:01:55,804 --> 00:01:57,597 is how it is... but I think a blind man could see 44 00:01:57,681 --> 00:01:59,307 that Beth is looking for the door. 45 00:01:59,391 --> 00:02:01,601 I barely have a reason to care, and even I noticed. 46 00:02:01,685 --> 00:02:03,895 Come on, Rick! Don't talk about my parents like that. 47 00:02:03,979 --> 00:02:05,730 Listen, Morty, I hate to break it to you, 48 00:02:05,814 --> 00:02:07,398 but what people call "love" 49 00:02:07,483 --> 00:02:09,734 is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. 50 00:02:09,818 --> 00:02:12,403 It hits hard, Morty, then it slowly fades, 51 00:02:12,488 --> 00:02:14,405 leaving you stranded in a failing marriage. 52 00:02:14,490 --> 00:02:16,407 I did it. Your parents are gonna do it. 53 00:02:16,492 --> 00:02:17,784 Break the cycle, Morty. 54 00:02:17,868 --> 00:02:19,661 Rise above. Focus on science. 55 00:02:21,747 --> 00:02:24,624 All right, well, I'm gonna go get dressed for the dance. 56 00:02:24,708 --> 00:02:28,503 Yeah, I'm just going to... check on your mom. 57 00:02:29,880 --> 00:02:32,965 Morty, hand me that screwdriver, huh? 58 00:02:33,050 --> 00:02:35,802 I'm almost finished making my ionic defibulizer, Morty. 59 00:02:35,886 --> 00:02:37,762 It's gonna be great. - Hey, listen, Rick. 60 00:02:37,846 --> 00:02:39,639 Y-Y-You know how you said that, you know, 61 00:02:39,723 --> 00:02:41,683 love is a chemical and all that stuff from earlier? 62 00:02:41,767 --> 00:02:42,975 Well, I was thinking, you know, 63 00:02:43,060 --> 00:02:45,687 w-w... could you make some sort of chemical thing happen 64 00:02:45,771 --> 00:02:47,230 inside of Jessica's mind, you know, 65 00:02:47,314 --> 00:02:48,898 so where she falls in love with me 66 00:02:48,982 --> 00:02:50,400 and all that sort of thing? 67 00:02:50,484 --> 00:02:52,485 You know, like, some sort of love potion or something? 68 00:02:52,569 --> 00:02:54,153 Morty, that's such a poor use of my time. 69 00:02:54,238 --> 00:02:56,489 It's beneath me. Hand me the screwdriver. 70 00:02:56,573 --> 00:02:58,157 You know what? No, Rick! 71 00:02:58,242 --> 00:02:59,784 I'm not gonna hand you the screwdriver. 72 00:02:59,868 --> 00:03:01,786 I-I'm not gonna hand you anything ever again, Rick! 73 00:03:01,870 --> 00:03:04,205 I'm always helping you with this and that and the other thing. 74 00:03:04,289 --> 00:03:06,374 W-W-W-W-W-What about me, Rick? 75 00:03:06,458 --> 00:03:08,376 W-W-W-W-Why can't you just help me out once... 76 00:03:08,460 --> 00:03:09,794 once... for once? 77 00:03:09,878 --> 00:03:11,963 You're growing up fast, Morty. 78 00:03:12,047 --> 00:03:15,049 You're growing into a real big thorn straight up into my ass. 79 00:03:15,134 --> 00:03:17,051 Listen, this is called oxytocin. 80 00:03:17,136 --> 00:03:18,511 I extracted it from a vole. 81 00:03:18,595 --> 00:03:20,221 Do you know what a vole is, Morty? 82 00:03:20,305 --> 00:03:21,973 You know what a vole is? It's a... it's a rodent 83 00:03:22,057 --> 00:03:23,683 that mates for life, Morty. 84 00:03:23,767 --> 00:03:26,060 This is the chemical released in a mammal's brain, you know, 85 00:03:26,145 --> 00:03:27,478 that makes it fall in love. 86 00:03:27,563 --> 00:03:29,814 I just gotta... combine it with your DNA. 87 00:03:29,898 --> 00:03:31,649 Oh, well, okay. 88 00:03:31,734 --> 00:03:33,651 A hair, Morty. I need one of your hairs. 89 00:03:33,736 --> 00:03:35,403 This isn't "Game of Thrones." 90 00:03:35,487 --> 00:03:36,946 Ow! 91 00:03:37,030 --> 00:03:38,948 All right, Morty, whoever you smear this stuff on 92 00:03:39,032 --> 00:03:40,992 will fall in love with you, and only you, forever. 93 00:03:41,076 --> 00:03:42,994 Are you happy now, Morty? - Heck, yeah! 94 00:03:43,078 --> 00:03:45,079 Thank you, Grandpa Rick. 95 00:03:45,164 --> 00:03:46,956 Hey, there's no... dangers or anything, 96 00:03:47,040 --> 00:03:48,499 or side effects, right? 97 00:03:48,584 --> 00:03:50,168 W-W-W-What am I, a hack? 98 00:03:50,252 --> 00:03:52,420 Go nuts, Morty. It's fool proof. 99 00:03:54,298 --> 00:03:57,008 Eh, unless she has the flu. 100 00:03:57,092 --> 00:03:59,886 Beth, do y-you still love me? 101 00:03:59,970 --> 00:04:02,305 Ugh, what kind of question is that? 102 00:04:02,389 --> 00:04:04,223 The "yes or no" kind? 103 00:04:04,308 --> 00:04:06,726 Jerry, do you want homeless people to have homes? 104 00:04:06,810 --> 00:04:07,977 Yes. 105 00:04:08,061 --> 00:04:09,061 Are you gonna build them? 106 00:04:09,146 --> 00:04:10,188 No. 107 00:04:10,272 --> 00:04:11,856 Then what good was the "yes"? 108 00:04:11,940 --> 00:04:14,859 Wait, i-is loving me the house or the homeless people? 109 00:04:14,943 --> 00:04:17,737 Loving you is work, Jerry... hard work, 110 00:04:17,821 --> 00:04:19,739 like building a homeless shelter... 111 00:04:19,823 --> 00:04:21,657 nobody wants to say no to doing it, 112 00:04:21,742 --> 00:04:23,367 but some people put the work in. 113 00:04:23,452 --> 00:04:25,536 So, what do you say? Do you see me working here? 114 00:04:25,621 --> 00:04:27,914 Does this conversation seem tedious to me? 115 00:04:27,998 --> 00:04:29,248 Sort of. 116 00:04:29,333 --> 00:04:30,958 Then I obviously sort of love you, don't I? 117 00:04:32,377 --> 00:04:34,045 So stop asking, and maybe I'll love you more. 118 00:04:34,129 --> 00:04:36,047 Crap, they need me at the horse hospital. 119 00:04:36,131 --> 00:04:37,298 Puh! This late? 120 00:04:37,382 --> 00:04:39,592 The racetrack had a starlight derby. 121 00:04:39,676 --> 00:04:41,135 There was a seven-horse collision, 122 00:04:41,220 --> 00:04:43,095 and Davin's there alone. 123 00:04:43,180 --> 00:04:46,015 Davin. Davin. 124 00:04:46,099 --> 00:04:48,226 Davin! Davin. 125 00:04:48,310 --> 00:04:50,561 Davin! Davin! 126 00:04:50,646 --> 00:04:52,939 Davin! Davin! 127 00:04:53,023 --> 00:04:54,941 ♪ Flu, yo. You gotta be aware ♪ 128 00:04:55,025 --> 00:04:56,943 ♪ Aware of all the flu up in the air ♪ 129 00:04:57,027 --> 00:04:59,612 ♪ I'm-a get me a shot, make the flu go away ♪ 130 00:04:59,696 --> 00:05:01,906 ♪ Flu-hating rapper, just rapping away ♪ 131 00:05:01,990 --> 00:05:04,283 ♪ Yo, yo, flu-hating rapper ♪ 132 00:05:04,368 --> 00:05:05,618 ♪ It's a flu-hating rap ♪ 133 00:05:05,702 --> 00:05:09,997 Hey, there, Jessica. Whoa! Oh, whoopsie! 134 00:05:10,082 --> 00:05:12,542 Oh, my god. Morty. 135 00:05:12,626 --> 00:05:14,794 You look really nice tonight. 136 00:05:14,878 --> 00:05:17,797 - Wow, thanks. - I love you, Morty! 137 00:05:17,881 --> 00:05:19,799 I love you so much it burns! 138 00:05:19,883 --> 00:05:22,802 Oh, man! I-I love you too, Jessica! 139 00:05:24,096 --> 00:05:26,013 Is this punk bothering you, Jessica? 140 00:05:26,098 --> 00:05:28,432 Leave him alone, jerk! I'm in love with him! 141 00:05:28,517 --> 00:05:30,434 He is more man than you will ever be! 142 00:05:31,728 --> 00:05:33,604 ♪ This is about flu awareness ♪ 143 00:05:33,689 --> 00:05:36,232 ♪ Gotta be aware of the flu in the air-ness ♪ 144 00:05:36,316 --> 00:05:38,568 ♪ Yo, I'm a flu-hating rapper ♪ 145 00:05:38,652 --> 00:05:40,570 Oh, man, Morty. 146 00:05:40,654 --> 00:05:42,238 I'm really sorry. 147 00:05:42,322 --> 00:05:44,657 Oh, well, n-no problem, Brad. 148 00:05:44,741 --> 00:05:46,909 There's something special about you, Morty... 149 00:05:46,994 --> 00:05:48,327 so special. 150 00:05:48,412 --> 00:05:50,329 Whoa, take it easy! Get your hands off of him! 151 00:05:50,414 --> 00:05:52,331 Back off! I'm trying to be with my man! 152 00:05:52,416 --> 00:05:53,916 That's enough, Bradley! 153 00:05:54,001 --> 00:05:55,668 We don't want you injuring your ball-throwing arm. 154 00:05:55,752 --> 00:05:57,169 Oh, come on, Principal Vagina. I just... 155 00:05:57,254 --> 00:05:59,422 Never leave me, Morty. Never! 156 00:05:59,506 --> 00:06:02,466 Uh, sure. I mean, o-of course not. 157 00:06:02,551 --> 00:06:04,969 W-What do you think that was all about? 158 00:06:05,053 --> 00:06:06,721 Who cares? Just hold me. 159 00:06:06,805 --> 00:06:09,140 Let me go! I love you, Morty! 160 00:06:10,434 --> 00:06:11,976 Let go of me! 161 00:06:12,060 --> 00:06:14,729 Morty! 162 00:06:19,151 --> 00:06:21,444 She's gonna be alone with that guy all night. 163 00:06:21,528 --> 00:06:23,446 Yeah, Dad, digging around the insides of horses. 164 00:06:23,530 --> 00:06:25,239 It's not a very romantic setting. 165 00:06:25,324 --> 00:06:26,991 Well, Summer, there's always the possibility 166 00:06:27,075 --> 00:06:28,701 that she made the whole work thing up. 167 00:06:28,785 --> 00:06:30,703 Maybe Davin's digging around in her insides. 168 00:06:30,787 --> 00:06:33,664 Grandpa, so gross! You're talking about my mom. 169 00:06:33,749 --> 00:06:35,333 Well, she's my daughter, Summer. 170 00:06:35,417 --> 00:06:36,834 I outrank you. 171 00:06:36,919 --> 00:06:39,587 Or family means nothing, in which case don't play that card. 172 00:06:39,671 --> 00:06:41,380 She's not responding to my texts! 173 00:06:41,465 --> 00:06:43,841 Careful, Dad. Jealousy turns women off. 174 00:06:43,926 --> 00:06:45,593 Well, isn't that convenient? 175 00:06:45,677 --> 00:06:47,386 Not for the men they cheat on, no. 176 00:06:47,471 --> 00:06:49,805 Okay, I'm... going to go out... 177 00:06:49,890 --> 00:06:51,140 for some ice cream. 178 00:06:51,224 --> 00:06:52,725 And maybe stop by the hospital... 179 00:06:52,809 --> 00:06:54,685 to support my wife... 180 00:06:54,770 --> 00:06:56,979 with my confidence. 181 00:06:57,064 --> 00:06:59,190 God, Grandpa, you're such a dick. 182 00:06:59,274 --> 00:07:01,984 I'm sorry, Summer. Your opinion means very little to me. 183 00:07:02,069 --> 00:07:04,153 How come you're not at this stupid dance everyone loves? 184 00:07:04,237 --> 00:07:06,155 Screw that. I don't wanna get sick. 185 00:07:06,239 --> 00:07:07,907 It's flu season. - It is? 186 00:07:07,991 --> 00:07:09,617 - Yeah. - Uh-oh. 187 00:07:15,165 --> 00:07:17,083 Please just let this work out. 188 00:07:17,167 --> 00:07:20,044 Do it, Morty. Do it. 189 00:07:20,128 --> 00:07:23,089 Rip my clothes off and mate with me for life! 190 00:07:24,216 --> 00:07:26,968 Um... can we maybe go somewhere more private? 191 00:07:27,052 --> 00:07:29,136 Jessica, get a hold of yourself! 192 00:07:30,806 --> 00:07:33,474 You don't deserve to carry Morty's genes. 193 00:07:33,558 --> 00:07:35,685 ♪ I love Morty ♪ 194 00:07:35,769 --> 00:07:38,187 ♪ and I hope Morty loves me ♪ 195 00:07:38,271 --> 00:07:40,898 ♪ I'd like to wrap my arms around him ♪ 196 00:07:40,983 --> 00:07:43,192 ♪ and feel him inside me ♪ 197 00:07:43,276 --> 00:07:44,777 Oh, crap. 198 00:07:47,364 --> 00:07:49,281 Morty! 199 00:07:49,366 --> 00:07:51,784 Morty, come on! We gotta get you out of here. 200 00:07:51,868 --> 00:07:53,786 You won't believe this 'cause it usually never happens, 201 00:07:53,870 --> 00:07:55,246 but I made a mistake. 202 00:07:56,748 --> 00:07:58,457 Come on, Morty. We got to get out of here. 203 00:07:58,542 --> 00:07:59,375 Come on. - Morty! 204 00:07:59,459 --> 00:08:00,584 Are you okay? 205 00:08:00,669 --> 00:08:02,461 - I'm fine! - Oh, good. 206 00:08:02,546 --> 00:08:05,131 If anything ever happened to you, I would kill myself. 207 00:08:05,215 --> 00:08:07,299 I love you bad, Mo-Mo! 208 00:08:11,388 --> 00:08:13,222 Morty, the principal and I have discussed it, 209 00:08:13,306 --> 00:08:16,809 a-a-and we're both insecure enough to agree to a three-way! 210 00:08:20,689 --> 00:08:22,231 I didn't realize when I gave you that serum 211 00:08:22,315 --> 00:08:24,108 that Jessica had the flu... you know, 212 00:08:24,192 --> 00:08:26,944 t-t-t-t-t-that might have been valuable information for me! 213 00:08:27,029 --> 00:08:28,279 What the hell is going on, Rick? 214 00:08:28,363 --> 00:08:29,822 What does it look like? 215 00:08:29,906 --> 00:08:31,490 T-T-T-The serum is piggybacking on the virus. 216 00:08:31,575 --> 00:08:32,992 It's gone airborne, Morty. 217 00:08:33,076 --> 00:08:35,536 Oh, crap. What are we gonna do, Rick? 218 00:08:35,620 --> 00:08:37,121 It's gonna be fine, Morty, relax. 219 00:08:37,205 --> 00:08:38,247 I whipped up an antidote. 220 00:08:38,331 --> 00:08:40,499 It's based on praying-mantis DNA. 221 00:08:40,584 --> 00:08:42,501 You know, praying mantises are the exact opposite of voles. 222 00:08:42,586 --> 00:08:43,836 I mean, they... they mate once, 223 00:08:43,920 --> 00:08:45,755 and then they, you know, decapitate the partner. 224 00:08:45,839 --> 00:08:47,256 I mean, it's a whole ritual. 225 00:08:47,340 --> 00:08:49,383 It's really gruesome and totally opposite. 226 00:08:49,468 --> 00:08:50,801 There's no love at all. 227 00:08:50,886 --> 00:08:53,262 I-I-I basically mixed this with a more contagious flu virus. 228 00:08:53,346 --> 00:08:55,806 It should neutralize the whole thing, Morty. 229 00:08:55,891 --> 00:08:57,516 It'll all be over very shortly. 230 00:09:02,147 --> 00:09:04,065 Uh, by the way, Morty, I know you didn't ask or anything, 231 00:09:04,149 --> 00:09:06,067 but I'm not interested in having sex with you. 232 00:09:06,151 --> 00:09:07,777 These serums, they don't work on anybody 233 00:09:07,861 --> 00:09:09,195 related to you genetically. 234 00:09:09,279 --> 00:09:12,156 Morty! 235 00:09:23,126 --> 00:09:24,627 Okay, well, sometimes, 236 00:09:24,711 --> 00:09:26,629 science is more art than science, Morty. 237 00:09:26,713 --> 00:09:28,589 A lot of people don't get that. 238 00:09:35,972 --> 00:09:37,723 Come on. Are you kidding me? 239 00:09:37,808 --> 00:09:40,684 Hello! - Morty! 240 00:09:40,769 --> 00:09:43,771 You're not Morty! Bring us Morty! 241 00:09:51,863 --> 00:09:53,781 Nobody's killing me... 242 00:09:53,865 --> 00:09:57,034 until after I catch my wife with another man. 243 00:09:57,119 --> 00:09:59,370 I had sex with Billy. 244 00:09:59,454 --> 00:10:01,205 But you were already pregnant! 245 00:10:01,289 --> 00:10:02,790 Yeah, so what's the worst that could happen? 246 00:10:02,874 --> 00:10:05,668 We interrupt "Pregnant Baby" with breaking news. 247 00:10:05,752 --> 00:10:07,294 Come on. 248 00:10:07,379 --> 00:10:09,755 This just in... Morty Smith's whereabouts are still unknown. 249 00:10:09,840 --> 00:10:11,799 What the hell? 250 00:10:11,883 --> 00:10:14,635 The only thing that is known is... how cute he is. 251 00:10:14,719 --> 00:10:17,221 I love him so much, I want to make love to him 252 00:10:17,305 --> 00:10:18,889 and then eat his head. 253 00:10:18,974 --> 00:10:20,891 I love him more than you do, Harold! 254 00:10:20,976 --> 00:10:22,643 You wish, you stupid bitch! 255 00:10:22,727 --> 00:10:24,270 - Morty's mine! - Morty's mine! 256 00:10:24,354 --> 00:10:25,729 Meant to be together! 257 00:10:25,814 --> 00:10:28,899 Morty! 258 00:10:35,323 --> 00:10:36,782 Where is Morty? 259 00:10:50,213 --> 00:10:53,549 Oh, my god, Rick. The whole world is infected! 260 00:10:53,633 --> 00:10:55,759 Yeah, it's pretty wild how fast that spread. 261 00:10:55,844 --> 00:10:58,012 I've really outdone myself. - Outdone yourself?! 262 00:10:58,096 --> 00:10:59,930 W-W... a-are... are you kidding me, Rick? 263 00:11:00,015 --> 00:11:01,557 This is not okay! 264 00:11:01,641 --> 00:11:03,350 Not only do they all want to have sex with me, 265 00:11:03,435 --> 00:11:05,352 but, you know, now they want to eat me afterwards! 266 00:11:05,437 --> 00:11:06,812 Yeah, I don't know what I was thinking. 267 00:11:06,897 --> 00:11:08,564 Mantises are the opposite of voles? 268 00:11:08,648 --> 00:11:11,275 I mean, obviously, DNA's more complicated than that. 269 00:11:11,359 --> 00:11:12,651 You know what, though, Morty? 270 00:11:12,736 --> 00:11:14,486 This right here's gonna do the trick, baby. 271 00:11:14,571 --> 00:11:16,989 It's koala mixed with rattlesnake, chimpanzee, 272 00:11:17,073 --> 00:11:19,325 cactus, shark, golden retriever, 273 00:11:19,409 --> 00:11:21,202 and just a smidge of dinosaur. 274 00:11:21,286 --> 00:11:22,953 Should add up to normal humanity. 275 00:11:23,038 --> 00:11:24,788 I don't... that doesn't make any sense, Rick. 276 00:11:24,873 --> 00:11:26,832 How does that add up to normal humanity? 277 00:11:26,917 --> 00:11:28,584 What, Morty, you want me to show you my math? 278 00:11:28,668 --> 00:11:30,252 I'm sorry... a-are you the scientist 279 00:11:30,337 --> 00:11:32,129 or are you the kid that wanted to get laid? 280 00:11:35,383 --> 00:11:37,176 Well, I'm glad we saved all those horses, 281 00:11:37,260 --> 00:11:39,178 but I'm almost sorry we're finished. 282 00:11:39,262 --> 00:11:40,763 Yes, it's satisfying work. 283 00:11:40,847 --> 00:11:42,932 Unh-unh-unh, it's, uh... it's more than the work. 284 00:11:43,016 --> 00:11:45,434 I love being in that sterilized room, 285 00:11:45,518 --> 00:11:47,686 sealed off from the world. 286 00:11:47,771 --> 00:11:50,022 It's the only time I can really think... and feel. 287 00:11:51,316 --> 00:11:53,609 Hmm, uh, what are you doing? 288 00:11:53,693 --> 00:11:55,778 I'm playing African dream pop. 289 00:11:55,862 --> 00:11:57,988 What do you do after a long night? 290 00:11:59,241 --> 00:12:02,034 Oh, ha, um, hey, I b... I'd better get going. 291 00:12:02,118 --> 00:12:04,787 Um, Jerry's been texting some pretty high-maintenance stuff. 292 00:12:04,871 --> 00:12:06,747 - Beth... - What is it, Davin? 293 00:12:06,831 --> 00:12:09,667 Just once, I'd like to know... 294 00:12:11,753 --> 00:12:14,255 ...w-w-what it was like to give your son a bath. 295 00:12:14,339 --> 00:12:15,422 What?! 296 00:12:15,507 --> 00:12:18,842 What does Morty's skin smell like? 297 00:12:18,927 --> 00:12:21,470 How soft... 298 00:12:21,554 --> 00:12:23,889 How soft are his privates? 299 00:12:23,974 --> 00:12:25,808 Let go of me, Davin! 300 00:12:31,690 --> 00:12:33,816 Take me to Morty. 301 00:12:35,151 --> 00:12:36,944 You're not Morty. 302 00:12:37,028 --> 00:12:39,488 No, I'm Mr. Crowbar, 303 00:12:39,572 --> 00:12:41,824 and this is my friend, 304 00:12:41,908 --> 00:12:44,118 who is also a crowbar. 305 00:12:44,202 --> 00:12:45,995 That's... stupid. 306 00:12:48,915 --> 00:12:50,040 Yeah? 307 00:12:50,125 --> 00:12:51,875 Well, look where being smart got you. 308 00:12:51,960 --> 00:12:53,877 Jerry! Thank God! 309 00:12:53,962 --> 00:12:55,045 God? 310 00:12:55,130 --> 00:12:58,132 God's turning people into insect monsters, Beth. 311 00:12:58,216 --> 00:13:00,301 I'm the one beating them to death. 312 00:13:00,385 --> 00:13:02,636 Thank me. - Thank you, Jerry. 313 00:13:02,721 --> 00:13:04,054 Thank you. 314 00:13:08,685 --> 00:13:10,769 Take a good look down there, Morty, and soak it in, 315 00:13:10,854 --> 00:13:12,313 because, you know, once I pull this lever, 316 00:13:12,397 --> 00:13:13,689 it's all back to normal. 317 00:13:13,773 --> 00:13:15,232 Just do it already. 318 00:13:15,317 --> 00:13:17,067 Well, technically, Morty, there's no rush. 319 00:13:17,152 --> 00:13:18,986 I mean, you know, o-once it's fixed, it's done. 320 00:13:19,070 --> 00:13:20,821 It's fixed. You know, we could... 321 00:13:20,905 --> 00:13:22,823 we could just enjoy it for a little bit. 322 00:13:22,907 --> 00:13:24,283 I mean, I-I-I-look at how crazy it is. 323 00:13:24,367 --> 00:13:25,951 I mean, Morty, w-w-when's the next time 324 00:13:26,036 --> 00:13:27,453 you're gonna see something like this? 325 00:13:27,537 --> 00:13:28,996 I mean, soak it in, you know? 326 00:13:29,080 --> 00:13:30,664 It's... it's pretty neat. It's pretty interesting. 327 00:13:30,749 --> 00:13:32,249 That's it, Rick! I'm pulling the lever. 328 00:13:39,674 --> 00:13:41,050 W-What do we have here, Morty? 329 00:13:41,134 --> 00:13:42,968 Looks like I was right and you were wrong, huh? 330 00:13:43,053 --> 00:13:46,013 I-I-I-I-I bet you feel pretty stupid right about now, huh? 331 00:13:46,097 --> 00:13:47,890 I-I-I bet you feel like the world's smallest man 332 00:13:47,974 --> 00:13:50,184 that you were doubting me about this whole thing, Morty. 333 00:13:50,268 --> 00:13:52,144 Oh, Rick, something's not right. 334 00:13:52,228 --> 00:13:53,812 Yeah, you. 335 00:13:53,897 --> 00:13:55,147 You're not right... ever. 336 00:13:55,231 --> 00:13:57,024 No, no! Look, you idiot! 337 00:14:21,299 --> 00:14:23,092 Bet you're loving this, Morty. 338 00:14:23,176 --> 00:14:25,177 This must be the best day of your life. 339 00:14:25,261 --> 00:14:28,097 You get to be the mayor of I-Told-You Town. 340 00:14:28,181 --> 00:14:30,182 You're welcome. 341 00:14:40,026 --> 00:14:41,985 Hold on. 342 00:15:00,505 --> 00:15:02,798 I wish that shotgun was my penis. 343 00:15:02,882 --> 00:15:05,759 If it were, you could call me Ernest Hemingway. 344 00:15:05,844 --> 00:15:08,387 I don't get it, and I don't need to. 345 00:15:09,472 --> 00:15:11,390 Mom! Dad! 346 00:15:11,474 --> 00:15:13,183 Summer! 347 00:15:15,186 --> 00:15:16,311 Where's Morty? 348 00:15:16,396 --> 00:15:17,688 I don't know. 349 00:15:17,772 --> 00:15:19,857 Do you think Grandpa Rick had something to do with this? 350 00:15:19,941 --> 00:15:21,692 It's not fair to assume that, Summer. 351 00:15:21,776 --> 00:15:23,735 Oh, not fair? Give me a break. 352 00:15:23,820 --> 00:15:25,821 He is a selfish, irresponsible ass, 353 00:15:25,905 --> 00:15:27,281 and he left my mother. 354 00:15:27,365 --> 00:15:30,159 A real man stands by his woman. 355 00:15:35,123 --> 00:15:37,875 ♪ Tchoo. Tchoo-tchoo-tchoo. Tchoo-tchoo ♪ 356 00:15:37,959 --> 00:15:40,544 Boy, I really Cronenberged the world up, didn't I? 357 00:15:40,628 --> 00:15:42,379 We got a whole planet of Cronenbergs 358 00:15:42,464 --> 00:15:44,047 walking around down there, Morty. 359 00:15:44,132 --> 00:15:46,133 A-At least they're not in love with you anymore, though. 360 00:15:46,217 --> 00:15:47,968 That's a huge step in the right direction. 361 00:15:48,052 --> 00:15:50,262 Oh, my God! It's a living nightmare! 362 00:15:50,346 --> 00:15:52,806 How could you be so irresponsible, Rick? 363 00:15:52,891 --> 00:15:55,309 Me irresponsible?! You... all I wanted you to do 364 00:15:55,393 --> 00:15:57,060 was hand me a screwdriver, Morty! 365 00:15:57,145 --> 00:15:59,813 You're the one who wanted to be... wanted me to buckle down 366 00:15:59,898 --> 00:16:02,149 and make you up a... roofie-juice serum 367 00:16:02,233 --> 00:16:05,360 so you could roofie that poor girl at your school. 368 00:16:05,445 --> 00:16:08,405 I mean, g... w-w-w-w-w... w... are you kidding me, Morty? 369 00:16:08,490 --> 00:16:10,407 You're gonna try to take the high road on this one? 370 00:16:10,492 --> 00:16:11,950 Y-Y-Y-Y-You're a little creep, Morty. 371 00:16:12,035 --> 00:16:13,327 Y-You're a... you're... you're... 372 00:16:13,411 --> 00:16:15,329 you're just a little creepy... creep person. 373 00:16:15,413 --> 00:16:17,039 All right, fine. I should have just listened to you 374 00:16:17,123 --> 00:16:18,665 when you refused to make the serum. 375 00:16:18,750 --> 00:16:20,584 I'm willing to accept my part of the blame for this, Rick. 376 00:16:20,668 --> 00:16:22,294 But I'll tell you something... you know what? 377 00:16:22,378 --> 00:16:23,962 You gotta accept your part of the blame! 378 00:16:24,047 --> 00:16:25,756 I'm not the one who fouled up the serum! 379 00:16:25,840 --> 00:16:27,591 I'm not the one who... who... who... 380 00:16:27,675 --> 00:16:29,051 who haphazardly, you know, 381 00:16:29,135 --> 00:16:30,719 mixed a bunch of nonsense together 382 00:16:30,803 --> 00:16:32,513 and created a bunch of Cronenbergs! 383 00:16:32,597 --> 00:16:34,890 You gotta fix this, Rick! - All right, all right, Morty. 384 00:16:34,974 --> 00:16:36,600 You know, w-w-w-we are in a pretty deep hole, here, 385 00:16:36,684 --> 00:16:39,394 but I do have one emergency solution that I can use 386 00:16:39,479 --> 00:16:41,313 that'll kind of put everything back to normal, 387 00:16:41,397 --> 00:16:42,773 relatively speaking. 388 00:16:42,857 --> 00:16:44,274 Here, Morty, put this on while I do 389 00:16:44,359 --> 00:16:46,276 a little bit of scouting. 390 00:16:58,706 --> 00:17:00,624 Wow, Rick, I gotta say... 391 00:17:00,708 --> 00:17:02,751 you really pulled a rabbit out of your hat this time. 392 00:17:02,835 --> 00:17:04,753 I mean, I-I really thought that the whole place 393 00:17:04,837 --> 00:17:06,630 was gonna be messed up for good, 394 00:17:06,714 --> 00:17:08,590 but here, you did it... y-y-you... you... 395 00:17:08,675 --> 00:17:10,342 you figured out that crazy solution, 396 00:17:10,426 --> 00:17:11,510 like you always do. 397 00:17:11,594 --> 00:17:13,345 Whoo! That's some great luck. 398 00:17:13,429 --> 00:17:15,347 Come on, Morty. Luck had nothing to do with it. 399 00:17:15,431 --> 00:17:18,392 I'm great. That's the real reason. 400 00:17:18,476 --> 00:17:20,519 Now, Morty, what do you say, buddy? 401 00:17:20,603 --> 00:17:22,354 Will you hand me a screwdriver 402 00:17:22,438 --> 00:17:24,189 so I can finish my ionic dis... defibulizer? 403 00:17:24,274 --> 00:17:26,525 Sure thing, Rick. Here's a screwdriver. 404 00:17:26,609 --> 00:17:28,819 All right, Morty. Thank you very much. 405 00:17:28,903 --> 00:17:31,822 We got one screw turn... and two screw turns... 406 00:17:31,906 --> 00:17:33,615 and... 407 00:17:38,746 --> 00:17:40,163 All right, Morty, here we are. 408 00:17:40,248 --> 00:17:42,165 Oh, my god, Rick! Is that us?! 409 00:17:42,250 --> 00:17:44,126 W-W-W-We're dead! What is going on, Rick? 410 00:17:44,210 --> 00:17:45,711 I'm freaking out! 411 00:17:45,795 --> 00:17:47,379 Calm down, Morty! Look at me! Calm down, Morty! 412 00:17:47,463 --> 00:17:49,089 No, I can't deal with this! 413 00:17:49,173 --> 00:17:50,716 Calm yourself, Morty. 414 00:17:50,800 --> 00:17:52,301 I can't deal with this, Rick! 415 00:17:52,385 --> 00:17:53,802 - Calm down, Morty. - This can't be real! 416 00:17:53,886 --> 00:17:56,013 - You gotta calm down, Morty. - W-W-W-W-We're ripped apart! 417 00:17:56,097 --> 00:17:57,973 Shut up and listen to me! 418 00:17:58,057 --> 00:17:59,308 It's fine. Everything is fine. 419 00:17:59,392 --> 00:18:00,809 There's an infinite number of realities, Morty, 420 00:18:00,893 --> 00:18:02,561 and in a few dozen of those, 421 00:18:02,645 --> 00:18:04,605 I got lucky and turned everything back to normal. 422 00:18:04,689 --> 00:18:06,356 I just had to find one of those realities 423 00:18:06,441 --> 00:18:09,067 in which we also happen to both die around this time. 424 00:18:09,152 --> 00:18:10,611 Now we can just slip into the place 425 00:18:10,695 --> 00:18:12,195 of our dead selves in this reality 426 00:18:12,280 --> 00:18:13,864 and everything will be fine. 427 00:18:13,948 --> 00:18:15,365 We're not skipping a beat, Morty. 428 00:18:15,450 --> 00:18:16,450 Now, help me with these bodies. 429 00:18:16,534 --> 00:18:17,618 This is insane. 430 00:18:17,702 --> 00:18:19,828 Look, Morty, I'll grab myself, you grab yourself, okay? 431 00:18:19,912 --> 00:18:21,288 I mean, t-t-t-that seems fair to me... 432 00:18:21,372 --> 00:18:23,290 I mean, that seems like a fair way to divvy it up. 433 00:18:23,374 --> 00:18:25,375 Rick, what about the reality we left behind? 434 00:18:25,460 --> 00:18:28,128 What about the reality where Hitler cured cancer, Morty? 435 00:18:28,212 --> 00:18:29,630 The answer is don't think about it. 436 00:18:29,714 --> 00:18:31,840 It's not like we can do this every week, anyways. 437 00:18:31,924 --> 00:18:33,467 We get three or four more of these, tops. 438 00:18:33,551 --> 00:18:35,302 Now, pick up your dead self and come on. 439 00:18:35,386 --> 00:18:36,637 Haste makes waste. 440 00:18:36,721 --> 00:18:38,847 I-I-I don't suppose you've considered this detail, 441 00:18:38,931 --> 00:18:41,433 but obviously, if I hadn't screwed up as much as I did, 442 00:18:41,517 --> 00:18:45,354 we'd be these guys right now, so, again, you're welcome. 443 00:18:48,483 --> 00:18:55,280 ♪ Look on down from the bridge ♪ 444 00:18:55,365 --> 00:19:02,454 ♪ There's still fountains down there ♪ 445 00:19:05,416 --> 00:19:11,213 ♪ Look on down from the bridge ♪ 446 00:19:11,297 --> 00:19:18,553 ♪ It's still raining up here ♪ 447 00:19:21,307 --> 00:19:29,064 ♪ Everybody seems so far away from me ♪ 448 00:19:29,148 --> 00:19:36,738 ♪ Everybody just wants to be free ♪ 449 00:19:36,823 --> 00:19:42,911 ♪ Look away from the sky ♪ 450 00:19:42,995 --> 00:19:49,710 ♪ It's no different when you're leaving home ♪ 451 00:19:51,921 --> 00:19:58,593 ♪ I can't be the same thing to you now ♪ 452 00:19:58,678 --> 00:20:02,597 ♪ I'm just gone ♪ 453 00:20:02,682 --> 00:20:08,311 ♪ Just gone ♪ 454 00:20:08,396 --> 00:20:20,532 ♪ How could I say goodbye? ♪ 455 00:20:20,616 --> 00:20:24,286 You know, the thing about a shark... 456 00:20:24,370 --> 00:20:26,747 he's got lifeless eyes... 457 00:20:26,831 --> 00:20:28,749 black eyes, like a doll's eyes. 458 00:20:28,833 --> 00:20:30,333 When he comes at ya, 459 00:20:30,418 --> 00:20:32,335 he doesn't seem to be living until he bites ya, 460 00:20:32,420 --> 00:20:35,297 and then the... the blood, and the red, and the water... 461 00:20:36,466 --> 00:20:38,592 You ever wonder what happened to Rick and Morty? 462 00:20:38,676 --> 00:20:41,428 Sometimes. But, I'm ashamed to admit, 463 00:20:41,512 --> 00:20:47,058 now that they're gone, I'm finally happy. 464 00:20:47,143 --> 00:20:49,269 Here we are, Cronenberg Morty... 465 00:20:49,353 --> 00:20:50,896 a reality where everyone in the world 466 00:20:50,980 --> 00:20:52,355 got genetically Cronenberged. 467 00:20:52,440 --> 00:20:54,524 We'll fit right in, Cronenberg Morty. 468 00:20:54,609 --> 00:20:56,985 It'll be like we never even left Cronenberg world. 469 00:20:57,069 --> 00:20:58,445 Yeah, Cronenberg Rick, 470 00:20:58,529 --> 00:21:00,322 but, you know, I'm gonna miss Cronenberg world, 471 00:21:00,406 --> 00:21:01,990 because everyone was Cronenberged all along 472 00:21:02,074 --> 00:21:03,742 like us from the beginning, you know? 473 00:21:03,826 --> 00:21:05,368 I mean, I-I wish we hadn't genetically ruined 474 00:21:05,453 --> 00:21:07,370 Cronenberg World beyond repair like we did, 475 00:21:07,455 --> 00:21:09,998 you know, and turned everyone into regular, normal people 476 00:21:10,082 --> 00:21:11,541 just walking around. 477 00:21:11,626 --> 00:21:13,210 Don't you worry about that sort of thing, 478 00:21:13,294 --> 00:21:14,377 Cronenberg Morty. 479 00:21:14,462 --> 00:21:17,756 Let's go make ourselves at home, huh? 480 00:21:21,469 --> 00:21:22,886 Did you get any of that? 481 00:21:22,970 --> 00:21:24,930 It's a good-a show! 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net