1 00:00:12,344 --> 00:00:14,945 Hey, golf is easy now! 2 00:00:15,030 --> 00:00:18,531 Aah! Golf is hard again! Golf is hard again! 3 00:00:18,600 --> 00:00:20,617 The view from here is the same as yours, Jim. 4 00:00:20,702 --> 00:00:22,836 A giant head has entered earth's gravity, 5 00:00:22,871 --> 00:00:24,955 triggering climate change and natural disasters 6 00:00:25,040 --> 00:00:27,941 we thought were impossible for at least another eight years. 7 00:00:28,010 --> 00:00:29,542 Let's not make this political, Terry. 8 00:00:29,611 --> 00:00:31,778 Do we know what this giant head wants? 9 00:00:32,965 --> 00:00:35,382 Show me what you got. 10 00:00:35,467 --> 00:00:40,937 Jim, you heard the... Said-- "Show me what you got." 11 00:00:41,023 --> 00:00:42,722 Show me what you got. 12 00:00:42,808 --> 00:00:44,891 I want to see what you got. 13 00:00:44,977 --> 00:00:46,726 Oh, boy. Time to go, Morty. 14 00:00:46,812 --> 00:00:47,777 Uh, where? 15 00:00:47,863 --> 00:00:49,145 The Pentagon. 16 00:00:49,231 --> 00:00:50,897 I mean, not the Pentagon. 17 00:00:50,983 --> 00:00:52,866 The lame one here on earth. 18 00:00:52,934 --> 00:00:55,902 ♪ 19 00:01:18,441 --> 00:01:24,441 Sync & corrections by XhmikosR www.addic7ed.com 20 00:01:24,666 --> 00:01:26,333 Summer: Is it God? 21 00:01:26,418 --> 00:01:27,968 If it's God, do we get out of school? 22 00:01:28,003 --> 00:01:29,669 It's not God, Summer. 23 00:01:29,755 --> 00:01:31,972 She's allowed to think it's God if she wants, honey. 24 00:01:32,007 --> 00:01:33,807 - Shut up, Jerry. - Okay. 25 00:01:34,292 --> 00:01:36,643 Dad, what do you know about this? 26 00:01:36,678 --> 00:01:37,978 Morty and I are going to look into it. 27 00:01:38,013 --> 00:01:39,062 You guys hold tight. 28 00:01:42,100 --> 00:01:44,351 Scary stuff, huh? Pretty freaky. 29 00:01:44,403 --> 00:01:45,769 Hi. I'm Morty's math teacher. 30 00:01:45,854 --> 00:01:47,988 I'm also part of the street team inviting folks 31 00:01:48,023 --> 00:01:50,574 to the church downtown so we can pray together. 32 00:01:50,659 --> 00:01:52,025 How is praying going to help? 33 00:01:52,160 --> 00:01:54,441 Ma'am, a giant head in the sky is controlling the weather. 34 00:01:54,496 --> 00:01:56,496 Did you want to play checkers? Let's be rational! 35 00:01:56,531 --> 00:01:58,531 I'll see you at God's house! 36 00:02:01,870 --> 00:02:04,604 Gentlemen, gentlemen! One at a time! Simon? 37 00:02:04,706 --> 00:02:06,906 SETI, NORAD, and every broadcaster on the planet 38 00:02:06,975 --> 00:02:09,342 are attempting to show this being what humanity's got-- 39 00:02:09,444 --> 00:02:11,478 String theory, world history, the human genome-- 40 00:02:11,546 --> 00:02:13,546 Have you tried sending it launch codes? 41 00:02:13,632 --> 00:02:15,849 Mr. President, what America's got 42 00:02:15,884 --> 00:02:18,551 is 70,000 megatons of kaboom-boom, 43 00:02:18,637 --> 00:02:21,855 and I say we show it right up this floating head's ass. 44 00:02:21,890 --> 00:02:23,139 No, you need to let me talk! 45 00:02:23,225 --> 00:02:24,441 Shut up! 46 00:02:24,526 --> 00:02:25,859 Hold it! Don't move! 47 00:02:25,894 --> 00:02:28,762 Stay back! This watch turns people into snakes! 48 00:02:28,830 --> 00:02:31,765 ♪ 49 00:02:31,867 --> 00:02:33,033 Oh! 50 00:02:33,068 --> 00:02:35,151 Stand down! Everybody, stand down! 51 00:02:35,237 --> 00:02:37,737 I'm the leader of these people, and I'm unarmed. 52 00:02:37,823 --> 00:02:40,373 There's no need for any more snake-makery. 53 00:02:40,459 --> 00:02:41,625 My name is Rick Sanchez. 54 00:02:41,743 --> 00:02:42,959 This here is my grandson, Morty. 55 00:02:43,045 --> 00:02:44,794 - Hi, Morty. - Hey. 56 00:02:44,880 --> 00:02:46,713 I've seen enough of the galaxy to know what we've got here 57 00:02:46,748 --> 00:02:49,165 is a cromulon from the signus five expanse. 58 00:02:49,251 --> 00:02:52,085 So you can forget about nukes, and you can forget about math. 59 00:02:52,170 --> 00:02:53,637 This head won't go away 60 00:02:53,755 --> 00:02:55,672 until Earth shows them it's got... 61 00:02:55,757 --> 00:02:57,424 A hit song. 62 00:02:57,509 --> 00:02:59,009 A hit song? We can't possibly-- 63 00:02:59,094 --> 00:03:01,011 - You mean like Vivaldi? - No, Frasier. 64 00:03:01,096 --> 00:03:04,564 A live performance of a newly written, catchy original song. 65 00:03:04,599 --> 00:03:06,099 The cromulon feed on the talent and showmanship 66 00:03:06,184 --> 00:03:07,767 of less-evolved life-forms. 67 00:03:07,819 --> 00:03:09,579 All right, all right. Thank you, Mr. Sanchez. 68 00:03:09,604 --> 00:03:10,770 Change of plan, people. 69 00:03:10,856 --> 00:03:14,941 Get me Pharrell, Randy Newman, Billy Corgan, and The-Dream. 70 00:03:15,027 --> 00:03:16,493 The-Dream? 71 00:03:16,578 --> 00:03:18,138 He wrote "Umbrella" and "Single Ladies"? 72 00:03:18,163 --> 00:03:19,946 You people haven't heard of The-Dream? 73 00:03:20,032 --> 00:03:21,948 You're gonna want to put them on that giant speaker system 74 00:03:22,034 --> 00:03:24,034 at your Sonic testing facility at Area 51. 75 00:03:24,119 --> 00:03:25,452 How do you know about that? 76 00:03:25,537 --> 00:03:27,787 For God's sake, Nathan, the man turns people into snakes. 77 00:03:27,873 --> 00:03:29,556 He can use Google Maps. 78 00:03:29,624 --> 00:03:31,191 Sir, Pharrell, Newman, Corgan, and that Dream guy-- 79 00:03:31,259 --> 00:03:33,026 - They're all dead. - What? 80 00:03:33,095 --> 00:03:35,662 How is that possible? Do people just die when I name them? 81 00:03:35,731 --> 00:03:37,030 The Grammys, sir. 82 00:03:37,132 --> 00:03:39,432 There was an earthquake and... all the musicians, 83 00:03:39,501 --> 00:03:41,935 all the famous ones... they're gone. 84 00:03:42,037 --> 00:03:43,236 Dear God. 85 00:03:43,305 --> 00:03:44,237 Hold on, sir. Just a minute. 86 00:03:44,306 --> 00:03:46,072 Ice-T survived. 87 00:03:46,141 --> 00:03:49,042 He's inbound on an F-15, E.T.A. two hours. 88 00:03:49,111 --> 00:03:50,677 Good luck, Mr. President. 89 00:03:50,746 --> 00:03:52,545 Sir, the magnetic poles are about to reverse. 90 00:03:52,647 --> 00:03:54,748 In two hours, there may not be an Earth to save. 91 00:03:54,816 --> 00:03:56,983 Sanchez? Are you a musician? 92 00:03:57,035 --> 00:03:58,818 I dabble, Mr. President. 93 00:03:58,870 --> 00:04:01,821 Get this man and his grandson on a black hawk to Area 51. 94 00:04:01,907 --> 00:04:05,125 People! Everyone! Remain calm! 95 00:04:05,210 --> 00:04:08,912 Every crisis of faith is an opportunity for more faith. 96 00:04:08,997 --> 00:04:11,748 When God deals you an 11, you don't fold! 97 00:04:11,833 --> 00:04:12,966 You double down! 98 00:04:13,051 --> 00:04:14,918 And always hit on a soft 16. 99 00:04:15,003 --> 00:04:16,553 That means you, Jews. 100 00:04:16,671 --> 00:04:19,139 I beg your pardon, pastor, but the last I looked outside, 101 00:04:19,224 --> 00:04:22,008 it seems to be you that's been dealt the weak hand. 102 00:04:22,094 --> 00:04:23,977 Jews rule! 103 00:04:24,012 --> 00:04:25,895 Nobody? Okay, tough church. 104 00:04:25,981 --> 00:04:27,230 Hi. Principal Vagina-- 105 00:04:27,315 --> 00:04:29,065 The name's real, possibly Scandinavian. 106 00:04:29,151 --> 00:04:30,734 I'm just gonna come out and make this pitch-- 107 00:04:30,819 --> 00:04:32,068 The old Gods are dead. 108 00:04:32,154 --> 00:04:34,654 [Bleep] all previous existing religions. 109 00:04:34,740 --> 00:04:39,159 All hail the one true God-- The giant head in the sky. 110 00:04:39,194 --> 00:04:40,744 - Children of God! - Ah-ta-ta-ta! 111 00:04:40,829 --> 00:04:42,078 Bob, Bob, I get it. 112 00:04:42,164 --> 00:04:44,748 But unless this can beat that, 113 00:04:44,833 --> 00:04:46,666 what have you done for me lately? 114 00:04:46,701 --> 00:04:49,669 So, if you'll all excuse me, I'm going out onto the sidewalk, 115 00:04:49,704 --> 00:04:51,871 I'm dropping to my knees, and pledging my eternal soul 116 00:04:51,957 --> 00:04:54,624 to the thing that literally controls the [bleep] weather. 117 00:04:54,709 --> 00:04:56,092 Out of my way. 118 00:04:56,178 --> 00:04:57,544 Okay. 119 00:04:57,629 --> 00:05:00,597 If sanity's been restored to this assembly, 120 00:05:00,682 --> 00:05:04,050 I'd like to talk about the cost of repairing our new organ. 121 00:05:04,136 --> 00:05:05,718 Sally, the plate, please. 122 00:05:05,771 --> 00:05:07,887 Oh! This is my favorite part! 123 00:05:09,608 --> 00:05:12,725 - Rick, are you really a musician? - Who's not a musician, Morty? 124 00:05:12,811 --> 00:05:14,694 - Me! - Yeah, not with that attitude. 125 00:05:14,729 --> 00:05:16,646 We're in the drop zone! I'm the jumpmaster! 126 00:05:16,731 --> 00:05:18,231 My name's Jamey-- With an e-y! 127 00:05:18,283 --> 00:05:19,649 Go, go, go! 128 00:05:19,734 --> 00:05:21,284 B-but-- But we don't have a song! 129 00:05:21,369 --> 00:05:23,650 Giant head in the sky, please forgive all that we've done. 130 00:05:23,705 --> 00:05:25,655 We're sorry for our increased levels of emissions 131 00:05:25,740 --> 00:05:27,740 and our racism and, of course, the Amber Alerts 132 00:05:27,826 --> 00:05:29,209 I keep ignoring on my phone. 133 00:05:29,244 --> 00:05:31,077 - Whoa! - Whoa! 134 00:05:32,881 --> 00:05:35,131 All right, Morty. Let's get-- let's do it. 135 00:05:35,250 --> 00:05:37,050 Why don't you, uh, find a button on one of those keyboards 136 00:05:37,085 --> 00:05:38,325 and lay down some kind of beat? 137 00:05:38,386 --> 00:05:39,946 Rick, I think we need to cut our losses. 138 00:05:39,971 --> 00:05:41,651 W-we get our family and portal out of here! 139 00:05:41,723 --> 00:05:44,090 Morty, good music comes from people who are relaxed. 140 00:05:44,142 --> 00:05:46,059 Just hit a button, Morty! Give me a beat! 141 00:05:46,094 --> 00:05:47,727 Oh, man. Okay. All right, um... 142 00:05:51,766 --> 00:05:54,033 ♪ Oh, yeah ♪ 143 00:05:54,102 --> 00:05:56,302 ♪ You gotta get schwifty ♪ 144 00:05:56,404 --> 00:05:59,772 ♪ You gotta get schwifty in here ♪ 145 00:05:59,858 --> 00:06:01,241 ♪ It's time to get schwifty ♪ 146 00:06:01,326 --> 00:06:02,659 ♪ Uh-oh ♪ 147 00:06:02,777 --> 00:06:05,195 Get "schwifty"? What the hell is that? 148 00:06:05,280 --> 00:06:08,114 It's our world's best effort. That's what. 149 00:06:08,250 --> 00:06:09,949 ♪ Take off your pants and your panties ♪ 150 00:06:10,035 --> 00:06:12,085 ♪ Shit on the floor ♪ 151 00:06:12,120 --> 00:06:14,254 ♪ Time to get schwifty in here ♪ 152 00:06:14,289 --> 00:06:16,673 ♪ I'm Mr. Bulldops ♪ 153 00:06:16,758 --> 00:06:18,291 "Mr. Bulldops"? 154 00:06:18,376 --> 00:06:19,792 Don't analyze it, Nathan. It's working! 155 00:06:19,878 --> 00:06:21,628 ♪ Take a shit on the floor ♪ 156 00:06:21,713 --> 00:06:23,796 ♪ Time to get schwifty in here ♪ 157 00:06:27,352 --> 00:06:31,187 ...and third-level donors get our all-access family pass. 158 00:06:31,273 --> 00:06:33,139 Listen! The storm is stopping! 159 00:06:33,225 --> 00:06:35,725 ♪ Hey, take your pants off ♪ 160 00:06:35,810 --> 00:06:39,028 ♪ It's schwifty time today ♪ 161 00:06:39,114 --> 00:06:40,730 Hmm. 162 00:06:41,816 --> 00:06:43,816 Please be kind to us, for we are but tiny things 163 00:06:43,952 --> 00:06:45,985 with entire bodies, stuck to your ground. 164 00:06:46,037 --> 00:06:50,957 I like what you got! Good job! 165 00:06:51,042 --> 00:06:53,159 - Yeah! - Whoo! 166 00:06:53,245 --> 00:06:54,210 We did it! 167 00:06:56,164 --> 00:06:57,797 What do you know? He was right! 168 00:06:57,832 --> 00:07:00,083 - Hooray Principal Vagina! - Yeah, I'll take it. 169 00:07:00,168 --> 00:07:03,169 Now, hold on a second! Let's be rational about this. 170 00:07:04,222 --> 00:07:05,889 No, I'm-- I'm just saying, 171 00:07:05,974 --> 00:07:08,091 we don't know there's a cause-effect relationship-- 172 00:07:08,176 --> 00:07:09,759 Oh, my God! 173 00:07:09,844 --> 00:07:12,011 - What is going on now?! - Whoa! Whoa! 174 00:07:13,181 --> 00:07:15,148 ♪ 175 00:07:19,521 --> 00:07:21,054 What the hell happened? 176 00:07:21,122 --> 00:07:22,989 Mr. President, you're gonna want to see this. 177 00:07:23,058 --> 00:07:25,224 I think planet Earth has just been transported. 178 00:07:25,327 --> 00:07:27,961 The head has left and sent its children. 179 00:07:28,063 --> 00:07:29,746 Holy crap! 180 00:07:29,831 --> 00:07:32,699 Oh, dear giant head, we apologize for that discussion. 181 00:07:32,784 --> 00:07:34,450 It will never happen again. 182 00:07:34,536 --> 00:07:36,202 Oh, dear-- Oh, dear giant head... 183 00:07:37,956 --> 00:07:40,006 Sir, we started picking up on a garbled signal. 184 00:07:40,041 --> 00:07:41,207 We're decrypting it now. 185 00:07:42,844 --> 00:07:47,280 We asked them to show us what they got, and they did. 186 00:07:47,349 --> 00:07:50,300 Now we'll see which of them has got the most. 187 00:07:50,385 --> 00:07:54,854 24 hours, 5 planets, 5 songs. 188 00:07:54,889 --> 00:07:57,307 But in the end, there can only be one... 189 00:07:57,392 --> 00:07:59,275 Planet music! 190 00:07:59,361 --> 00:08:00,893 All participation is involuntary. 191 00:08:00,946 --> 00:08:04,230 Disqualified and losing planets are disintegrated by plasma ray. 192 00:08:04,316 --> 00:08:06,065 Uh, it's probably a bad time to mention it, 193 00:08:06,151 --> 00:08:09,319 but any astronauts you guys had in orbit are definitely dead. 194 00:08:10,964 --> 00:08:13,131 Welcome back to "Planet Music"! 195 00:08:13,216 --> 00:08:14,883 First up, let's hear the latest song 196 00:08:14,918 --> 00:08:18,303 from planet Parblesnops', The Greeby Bobes! 197 00:08:18,388 --> 00:08:20,054 Show me what you got! 198 00:08:20,123 --> 00:08:22,257 Hold it, hold it. Stop. 199 00:08:22,342 --> 00:08:24,809 Music isn't about competition or captivity. 200 00:08:24,928 --> 00:08:26,978 If you love music, you love freedom. 201 00:08:27,063 --> 00:08:29,898 Let these worlds be free! Please! 202 00:08:29,933 --> 00:08:31,683 Disqualified. 203 00:08:34,771 --> 00:08:37,188 There's one every season. 204 00:08:37,274 --> 00:08:40,275 Moving on to planet Arboles Mentirosos. 205 00:08:40,410 --> 00:08:44,946 Arbolian Mentirososians, show us what you got! 206 00:08:45,031 --> 00:08:46,698 A 2, 3, 4! 207 00:08:58,128 --> 00:09:00,345 Rick, Morty, Ice-T, the timetable's moved up. 208 00:09:00,463 --> 00:09:01,963 Earth's on in six hours. 209 00:09:02,098 --> 00:09:04,182 Like we're not already under enough pressure?! 210 00:09:04,301 --> 00:09:06,134 - Whoa! Whoa! - Yeah! 211 00:09:06,219 --> 00:09:09,187 Geez, Morty, the guy's just doing his job. Take it easy. 212 00:09:09,272 --> 00:09:12,140 Rick, Ice-T, could you guys take it less easy?! 213 00:09:12,192 --> 00:09:14,192 We've got six hours to come up with a song! 214 00:09:14,311 --> 00:09:15,977 Genius happens in the moment, Morty. 215 00:09:16,062 --> 00:09:17,645 Well, can we at least go get our family? 216 00:09:17,781 --> 00:09:18,863 You know, so we can take them-- 217 00:09:18,949 --> 00:09:20,365 With u-- With us if we lose? 218 00:09:20,450 --> 00:09:21,983 That's planning for failure, Morty. 219 00:09:22,035 --> 00:09:23,401 Even dumber than regular planning. 220 00:09:23,486 --> 00:09:24,736 Balls. 221 00:09:24,821 --> 00:09:26,204 Morty, Morty, stop. Listen. 222 00:09:26,289 --> 00:09:27,872 There's only so much charge left in this thing. 223 00:09:27,958 --> 00:09:29,657 If we portal home from here and back, 224 00:09:29,793 --> 00:09:31,626 we're not gonna have enough charge left to get off world. 225 00:09:31,661 --> 00:09:32,710 - Get it? - What?! 226 00:09:32,796 --> 00:09:33,995 - Yeah. - You see? 227 00:09:34,047 --> 00:09:36,631 I try to shelter you from certain realities, Morty, 228 00:09:36,716 --> 00:09:38,082 because if I let you make me nervous, 229 00:09:38,168 --> 00:09:39,717 then we can't get schwifty. 230 00:09:39,836 --> 00:09:41,886 Stop saying it like it's a thing! You made it up! 231 00:09:42,005 --> 00:09:43,388 Hey, Morty, could you lick my... 232 00:09:43,473 --> 00:09:44,923 Balls, balls... 233 00:09:45,008 --> 00:09:46,674 Rick, cut it out! It's not funny, Rick! 234 00:09:46,760 --> 00:09:49,344 I've seen enough. These guys are one-hit wonders. 235 00:09:49,479 --> 00:09:50,762 And what's your plan, general? 236 00:09:50,847 --> 00:09:52,127 We still have the nuclear option. 237 00:09:52,182 --> 00:09:54,232 On my word, we can launch a missile 238 00:09:54,317 --> 00:09:56,434 at every one of those heads in the sky. 239 00:09:56,519 --> 00:09:58,820 Our planet's held captive on a live game show, 240 00:09:58,855 --> 00:10:00,405 and your solution is to shoot the audience? 241 00:10:00,490 --> 00:10:02,690 You can put your faith in nukes if we get through this, general. 242 00:10:02,776 --> 00:10:05,410 Until then, I'll put mine in Rick and Morty. 243 00:10:05,495 --> 00:10:07,996 "Get Schwifty" was a jam. 244 00:10:08,081 --> 00:10:10,081 Hello? Yes, sir, yeah. 245 00:10:10,166 --> 00:10:11,699 Eh, thank you, sir. Thank you. 246 00:10:11,785 --> 00:10:14,118 He says he's proud of what we're doing 247 00:10:14,204 --> 00:10:17,839 and hopes we have a great ascension festival! 248 00:10:17,924 --> 00:10:20,174 - Happy ascension! - Happy ascension! 249 00:10:20,260 --> 00:10:22,126 We should pack up and leave town now. 250 00:10:22,212 --> 00:10:24,929 I think it's inspiring that our community is coping with fear 251 00:10:25,048 --> 00:10:27,382 in a way that involves a festival and homemade ice cream. 252 00:10:27,434 --> 00:10:29,767 If you'd stop being such an Evangelical atheist, 253 00:10:29,853 --> 00:10:31,686 you might start enjoying yourself. 254 00:10:31,771 --> 00:10:33,271 Whoa! Look at you! 255 00:10:33,356 --> 00:10:34,889 You're wearing the hat and everything! 256 00:10:34,975 --> 00:10:36,224 Here's yours! 257 00:10:36,359 --> 00:10:38,393 Mom, do you mind if I cook dinner tonight? 258 00:10:38,478 --> 00:10:40,395 Yeah, sure. Wait. What? 259 00:10:40,530 --> 00:10:43,231 I love you guys. You gave me life. 260 00:10:43,283 --> 00:10:44,899 And it's the will of the many heads 261 00:10:44,951 --> 00:10:47,068 that all children honor their parents. 262 00:10:47,120 --> 00:10:48,403 Dinner sounds nice. 263 00:10:48,488 --> 00:10:49,904 Pardon, Mr. and Mrs. Smith. 264 00:10:49,990 --> 00:10:51,906 Summer, are you coming to the ascension? 265 00:10:51,958 --> 00:10:54,242 Father, can we please go to the ascension? 266 00:10:54,294 --> 00:10:56,077 Sure! Let's go to the ascension. 267 00:10:56,129 --> 00:10:57,328 Wh-wh-what is it? 268 00:10:57,414 --> 00:10:59,464 We hereby send these unwantables skyward 269 00:10:59,549 --> 00:11:02,116 that they might be inhaled by the many heads, 270 00:11:02,185 --> 00:11:05,286 later to be sneezed back to us as better babies. 271 00:11:05,355 --> 00:11:07,488 Headward, free now to rise. 272 00:11:07,557 --> 00:11:09,490 Headward, free now to rise. 273 00:11:09,559 --> 00:11:10,975 Headward, free now to rise. 274 00:11:11,061 --> 00:11:13,761 Oh, yes! Yes! Rise to the giant head! 275 00:11:13,813 --> 00:11:15,396 You are free to be free! 276 00:11:15,432 --> 00:11:17,432 And squeegee comes up from the garage, right? 277 00:11:17,517 --> 00:11:19,150 But he's got a lobster in one hand, 278 00:11:19,235 --> 00:11:21,395 the movie tickets in the other, he's like, "I'm ready!" 279 00:11:22,522 --> 00:11:24,188 You gonna take a lobster to see "Iron Man 3"? 280 00:11:24,274 --> 00:11:26,157 Ice-T! 281 00:11:26,276 --> 00:11:27,408 Ah, damn. 282 00:11:27,444 --> 00:11:29,444 We're out of original-flavor fig Newtons. 283 00:11:29,529 --> 00:11:30,912 I should get going anyway. 284 00:11:30,947 --> 00:11:32,163 Wait, wait, wait! C-come on. 285 00:11:32,282 --> 00:11:34,282 H-hold on a second. Hold on. 286 00:11:36,336 --> 00:11:38,002 - What?! - Damn. 287 00:11:38,088 --> 00:11:40,171 You didn't tell me you [bleep] around with portals and shit. 288 00:11:40,256 --> 00:11:41,372 That's it! 289 00:11:41,458 --> 00:11:42,840 Whoa, whoa, Morty! Give me that. 290 00:11:42,926 --> 00:11:44,008 You lied! You lied about the charge! 291 00:11:44,127 --> 00:11:45,460 You were just being lazy! 292 00:11:45,512 --> 00:11:46,511 Get back! Sit down! 293 00:11:46,596 --> 00:11:47,879 Morty, just put it down. 294 00:11:47,964 --> 00:11:49,263 You don't know what you're doing. 295 00:11:49,299 --> 00:11:51,049 I'm going to go find mom and dad! 296 00:11:51,134 --> 00:11:52,050 No! 297 00:11:52,135 --> 00:11:53,051 Oh [bleep]! 298 00:11:53,136 --> 00:11:54,519 Oh [bleep]. 299 00:11:54,604 --> 00:11:57,305 ♪ 300 00:12:06,316 --> 00:12:08,016 Oh [bleep]. 301 00:12:08,084 --> 00:12:09,951 And then Ethan played guitar, and we learned 302 00:12:10,036 --> 00:12:12,537 the seven contemplations of the head by singing them. 303 00:12:12,622 --> 00:12:14,489 It was really fun. 304 00:12:14,541 --> 00:12:15,907 Praise be the head! 305 00:12:15,992 --> 00:12:18,209 Praise be the... Yeah. 306 00:12:18,294 --> 00:12:20,161 Hi, folks. Head Priest Vagina. 307 00:12:20,213 --> 00:12:22,046 Thanks for farming all those potatoes. 308 00:12:22,132 --> 00:12:23,612 It's 6:00 P.M., so if you're a parent, 309 00:12:23,666 --> 00:12:26,300 you're now entitled to adoration from your children. 310 00:12:26,336 --> 00:12:27,969 I'm going to start dinner! 311 00:12:28,004 --> 00:12:31,255 I don't know what to say. Summer is doing really well here. 312 00:12:31,341 --> 00:12:34,142 She's aced every test in potato class, 313 00:12:34,177 --> 00:12:36,260 and look how important potatoes have become. 314 00:12:36,346 --> 00:12:40,064 She's not getting pregnant or doing drugs or missing curfew. 315 00:12:40,150 --> 00:12:42,183 Please help me. You can reach me if you try. 316 00:12:42,235 --> 00:12:43,601 Please help me! 317 00:12:43,686 --> 00:12:45,853 That's not our business as long as Summer is thriving. 318 00:12:45,939 --> 00:12:47,572 Taco time! 319 00:12:47,657 --> 00:12:50,024 I hope it pleases you as the head desires. 320 00:12:50,110 --> 00:12:51,609 That's wonderful, Summer. 321 00:12:51,694 --> 00:12:53,327 We're so proud of you. 322 00:12:53,413 --> 00:12:55,913 But obviously you don't have to make dinner every night. 323 00:12:55,999 --> 00:12:58,332 Of course I do, silly! 324 00:12:58,368 --> 00:13:01,285 Oh, my God, daddy! I'm sorry I called you silly! 325 00:13:01,371 --> 00:13:02,954 I'm so sorry! 326 00:13:03,039 --> 00:13:04,422 Heavenly heads and cranial creator, 327 00:13:04,541 --> 00:13:07,041 forgive my transgressions against family and community. 328 00:13:07,127 --> 00:13:09,944 May my chores complete me as I complete them. 329 00:13:13,116 --> 00:13:16,050 ♪ 330 00:13:24,394 --> 00:13:26,611 - Morty. - Birdperson? 331 00:13:26,696 --> 00:13:28,062 You appear to be dying. 332 00:13:28,148 --> 00:13:31,032 I will make efforts to prevent this but can promise nothing. 333 00:13:37,240 --> 00:13:39,240 Wh-what do you think, ice? Probably a little overdeveloped. 334 00:13:39,325 --> 00:13:42,126 Shit, overdeveloped, underdeveloped-- 335 00:13:42,245 --> 00:13:43,578 A bad song's a bad song. 336 00:13:43,630 --> 00:13:45,079 Well, do you think, maybe-- 337 00:13:45,165 --> 00:13:46,297 Could you give me some help with it, or...? 338 00:13:46,382 --> 00:13:47,582 Aw, hell no, man. 339 00:13:47,717 --> 00:13:49,584 You do your thing, but I can't afford to 340 00:13:49,636 --> 00:13:51,085 get my pride wrapped up in your shame. 341 00:13:51,137 --> 00:13:52,503 You know what I'm saying? 342 00:13:52,589 --> 00:13:54,422 Ice, I don't want to be a negative Nelly or anything, 343 00:13:54,507 --> 00:13:56,474 but if Morty doesn't come back with my portal gun 344 00:13:56,559 --> 00:13:58,009 and I eat it out there, 345 00:13:58,094 --> 00:13:59,927 it's, uh, you know, kind of your problem, too. 346 00:14:00,013 --> 00:14:02,930 Pfft! I ain't worried about no earth blowing up, man. 347 00:14:03,016 --> 00:14:04,232 What? Why not? 348 00:14:04,317 --> 00:14:07,101 Yo, this is why. 349 00:14:07,237 --> 00:14:09,270 What the [bleep] you can turn into ice? 350 00:14:09,355 --> 00:14:11,606 My story begins at the dawn of time 351 00:14:11,658 --> 00:14:14,242 in the faraway realm of alphabetrium. 352 00:14:14,277 --> 00:14:17,328 There, every being is a letter of the alphabet. 353 00:14:17,413 --> 00:14:21,449 But I was frozen and exiled to the cosmos by my elders 354 00:14:21,501 --> 00:14:24,535 as punishment for not caring enough about anything. 355 00:14:24,621 --> 00:14:26,587 Earth is just one of my many stops 356 00:14:26,623 --> 00:14:29,373 on a lifelong journey with no destination. 357 00:14:29,459 --> 00:14:32,093 So you better believe I don't care if it blows up, 358 00:14:32,128 --> 00:14:35,179 because I'll just be ice floating through space, 359 00:14:35,298 --> 00:14:36,964 like a comet. 360 00:14:37,016 --> 00:14:39,056 Take it from me, ice, you can't just 361 00:14:39,135 --> 00:14:41,469 float around space not caring about stuff forever. 362 00:14:41,521 --> 00:14:43,304 Pfft. Man, watch me. 363 00:14:43,356 --> 00:14:44,972 Good luck, Rick. 364 00:14:48,778 --> 00:14:50,394 Okay, things are getting out of hand. 365 00:14:50,480 --> 00:14:53,314 I better make sure Rick has everything he needs to get schwifty. 366 00:14:53,366 --> 00:14:55,199 Oh, for God's sakes. That's enough. 367 00:14:55,285 --> 00:14:56,651 What the hell are you doing, Nathan?! 368 00:14:56,736 --> 00:14:59,153 I'm the goddamn president of the United [bleep] States! 369 00:14:59,239 --> 00:15:00,705 I'm setting the nuclear option to launch 370 00:15:00,823 --> 00:15:02,707 one minute into earth's performance. 371 00:15:02,792 --> 00:15:05,459 And you, Mr. President... 372 00:15:05,545 --> 00:15:08,546 I hope you like being hit in the face with a gun. 373 00:15:08,631 --> 00:15:11,415 Wait, wait, wait. Why-- why-- 374 00:15:13,336 --> 00:15:15,670 I believe I can access the history of Rick's gun 375 00:15:15,722 --> 00:15:17,138 and help you get back to him. 376 00:15:17,223 --> 00:15:18,339 But can you help me get to my family? 377 00:15:18,424 --> 00:15:19,590 You know, at-- at my house? 378 00:15:19,676 --> 00:15:23,177 Is your intention to abandon Rick using his own portal gun? 379 00:15:23,263 --> 00:15:26,013 In bird culture, this is considered a dick move. 380 00:15:26,065 --> 00:15:28,015 All of Rick's moves are dick moves! 381 00:15:28,101 --> 00:15:29,233 What-- What am I eating? 382 00:15:29,319 --> 00:15:30,768 Wh-what is this, bird-- birdseed? 383 00:15:30,853 --> 00:15:33,271 It is random debris. I found it in my carpet. 384 00:15:33,356 --> 00:15:34,772 I don't know what humans eat. 385 00:15:34,857 --> 00:15:37,525 - You know what this human eats. - Don't be gross, Tammy. 386 00:15:37,660 --> 00:15:39,076 Bird [bleep]. 387 00:15:39,162 --> 00:15:40,528 Tammy, gross. 388 00:15:40,613 --> 00:15:42,363 Birdperson, you always stick up for Rick, 389 00:15:42,415 --> 00:15:44,448 but he doesn't care about anyone but himself. 390 00:15:44,534 --> 00:15:47,368 He doesn't think about the consequences of anything he does. 391 00:15:47,420 --> 00:15:51,289 And as a result, he has the power to save or destroy entire worlds. 392 00:15:51,374 --> 00:15:53,591 And he is the reason you and I know each other... 393 00:15:53,676 --> 00:15:56,377 And the reason I'm alive at all. 394 00:15:56,462 --> 00:15:59,380 ♪ 395 00:15:59,465 --> 00:16:02,099 What's that? Who's that baby? 396 00:16:02,185 --> 00:16:04,518 Morty, suppose you could retrieve your family from Earth 397 00:16:04,554 --> 00:16:06,137 but had to abandon Rick. 398 00:16:06,222 --> 00:16:08,606 I could give your loved ones shelter on birdworld, 399 00:16:08,691 --> 00:16:11,275 even jobs, possibly as worm ranchers. 400 00:16:11,361 --> 00:16:14,111 How often do you think you might look up at the stars 401 00:16:14,197 --> 00:16:15,646 and wonder what might have been 402 00:16:15,732 --> 00:16:17,782 had you just put your faith in Rick? 403 00:16:19,736 --> 00:16:21,068 That was Chunkytunk with 404 00:16:21,154 --> 00:16:23,404 "Full Ming Mong, Empty Gorbdork." 405 00:16:23,489 --> 00:16:25,489 Up next, planet Earth! 406 00:16:25,575 --> 00:16:27,308 Oh, God! We're up?! 407 00:16:27,377 --> 00:16:29,744 Jerry and Beth, your family is a golden example 408 00:16:29,829 --> 00:16:32,129 of what headism has to offer the world. 409 00:16:32,215 --> 00:16:34,215 - The world? - Headism is a hit. 410 00:16:34,300 --> 00:16:36,050 We're taking it worldwide, and we'd like Jerry to be 411 00:16:36,135 --> 00:16:38,085 our church's head of advertising. 412 00:16:38,137 --> 00:16:39,503 You would? 413 00:16:39,589 --> 00:16:41,722 Beth, we'd like to promote you from horse surgeon 414 00:16:41,808 --> 00:16:44,725 straight past human surgeon to head of medicine. 415 00:16:44,761 --> 00:16:46,260 That's my dream! That's my dream. 416 00:16:46,312 --> 00:16:49,180 Thank you. This is all so overwhelming. 417 00:16:49,265 --> 00:16:50,598 But, uh... 418 00:16:50,650 --> 00:16:51,770 - We can't. - Absolutely not. 419 00:16:51,851 --> 00:16:52,767 I'm sorry? 420 00:16:52,902 --> 00:16:56,520 We've been waiting 16 years for our daughter to respect us, 421 00:16:56,606 --> 00:16:59,273 but the key is, it has to be our daughter, 422 00:16:59,359 --> 00:17:01,192 not this person she's become. 423 00:17:01,277 --> 00:17:05,112 We'll take our chances raising her without fancy new jobs, 424 00:17:05,198 --> 00:17:07,365 outside of a potato-based religion. 425 00:17:07,450 --> 00:17:08,341 And you know what? 426 00:17:08,366 --> 00:17:10,642 I-I'm sick of pretending that we're together 427 00:17:10,670 --> 00:17:12,586 because of the kids in the first place. 428 00:17:12,622 --> 00:17:15,790 I married you because you're the love of my life. 429 00:17:15,875 --> 00:17:18,676 And I'm lucky to have you, and I never tell you that! 430 00:17:18,795 --> 00:17:22,179 You know, we will come out of this stronger as a family. 431 00:17:22,265 --> 00:17:24,265 Please don't do this! Please don't do this! 432 00:17:24,300 --> 00:17:26,300 - Summer! - Summer, listen carefully. 433 00:17:26,386 --> 00:17:28,302 I stole a paper clip, and I have it in my cheek, 434 00:17:28,354 --> 00:17:30,137 but I don't know what to do with it, and it hurts. 435 00:17:30,223 --> 00:17:32,723 You're going to be okay. You will come back as babies. 436 00:17:32,809 --> 00:17:35,309 I am a baby! I'm a baby now! 437 00:17:35,395 --> 00:17:36,811 Hello? 438 00:17:36,896 --> 00:17:38,279 Is anybody here? 439 00:17:39,565 --> 00:17:41,649 Mr. President! 440 00:17:42,785 --> 00:17:44,318 This is bluebird! 441 00:17:44,370 --> 00:17:45,569 Code tango niner Alpha! 442 00:17:45,655 --> 00:17:47,788 Abort launch! Abort! Hello? 443 00:17:47,824 --> 00:17:49,123 He's blocked me out. 444 00:17:49,208 --> 00:17:51,792 Sir, I need to get to the stage and help Rick get schwifty! 445 00:17:51,828 --> 00:17:53,494 It won't matter how schwifty you get, Morty. 446 00:17:53,546 --> 00:17:56,497 The general's got nukes set to launch halfway through earth's song! 447 00:17:56,582 --> 00:17:58,749 Oh, my God! Uh, c-can you fly a black hawk? 448 00:17:58,835 --> 00:18:00,801 Can the pope's [bleep] fit through a doughnut? 449 00:18:00,837 --> 00:18:02,803 Uh, I'm... Not sure. 450 00:18:02,889 --> 00:18:04,388 Exactly. 451 00:18:04,474 --> 00:18:08,476 Show me what you got! 452 00:18:09,896 --> 00:18:11,562 Uh... 453 00:18:11,681 --> 00:18:13,397 ♪ Lapoo lapoo lapoo dops ♪ 454 00:18:13,483 --> 00:18:15,349 ♪ Napoo napoo napoo nots ♪ 455 00:18:15,401 --> 00:18:17,852 Headward, free now to rise. 456 00:18:17,904 --> 00:18:19,387 Hey, look at the heads! 457 00:18:19,489 --> 00:18:21,389 Looks like the heads are getting angry! 458 00:18:21,457 --> 00:18:23,574 I'm really bad at this, Morty! 459 00:18:23,659 --> 00:18:25,526 There are way too many buttons in this thing! 460 00:18:25,611 --> 00:18:27,745 Mr. President, if I've learned one thing today 461 00:18:27,864 --> 00:18:30,498 it's that sometimes you have to not give a [bleep]! 462 00:18:30,583 --> 00:18:32,366 ♪ Napoo napoo nots ♪ 463 00:18:32,452 --> 00:18:33,868 Ugh. Tough crowd. 464 00:18:33,920 --> 00:18:35,536 I'm sure that has-- 465 00:18:35,588 --> 00:18:37,872 That has nothing to do with this. 466 00:18:40,376 --> 00:18:41,376 The heads are displeased! 467 00:18:41,461 --> 00:18:42,376 Summer! 468 00:18:42,462 --> 00:18:43,377 Um... 469 00:18:46,265 --> 00:18:47,298 Morty! 470 00:18:47,383 --> 00:18:48,549 Hooray! 471 00:18:48,601 --> 00:18:49,717 Hooray! Look! 472 00:18:49,802 --> 00:18:50,935 Hooray! 473 00:18:51,053 --> 00:18:52,686 The heads love this! 474 00:18:52,755 --> 00:18:55,222 They love it when we don't kill the Smith family! 475 00:18:55,291 --> 00:18:56,774 No! Stop that! 476 00:18:56,893 --> 00:18:59,226 You're not allowed to interpret the will of the heads! 477 00:18:59,278 --> 00:19:01,979 Call off the nuclear strike! This is the president! 478 00:19:02,064 --> 00:19:03,597 Stop the nuclear missile launch! 479 00:19:03,666 --> 00:19:05,299 Just launch the missiles! 480 00:19:09,739 --> 00:19:11,655 Boo! Not cool! 481 00:19:11,741 --> 00:19:13,707 I'm the only one that speaks to the heads! 482 00:19:13,743 --> 00:19:14,959 Disqualified! 483 00:19:15,077 --> 00:19:18,412 The heads disqualified Vagina! Get him! 484 00:19:18,498 --> 00:19:19,880 Disqualified! 485 00:19:19,916 --> 00:19:21,549 Disqualified! 486 00:19:21,584 --> 00:19:24,585 ♪ 487 00:19:30,593 --> 00:19:31,642 Ice-T?! 488 00:19:31,727 --> 00:19:34,261 That's right. It's me-- Ice-T. 489 00:19:34,397 --> 00:19:38,399 I care now. You made me care more. 490 00:19:38,434 --> 00:19:39,934 With all due respect, 491 00:19:40,019 --> 00:19:43,854 I'd like to hear what Rick and Morty have to play. 492 00:19:43,940 --> 00:19:45,606 What do you say, Rick? 493 00:19:45,741 --> 00:19:48,275 I say, let's do it! 494 00:19:48,361 --> 00:19:49,610 Hooray! 495 00:19:49,695 --> 00:19:50,995 Yeah. 496 00:19:51,080 --> 00:19:52,863 All right. 497 00:19:52,949 --> 00:19:54,532 - ♪ Oh, yeah ♪ - Uh-huh. 498 00:19:54,617 --> 00:19:56,000 Here we go. 499 00:19:56,118 --> 00:19:57,618 ♪ Oh, yeah ♪ 500 00:19:57,703 --> 00:19:58,619 ♪ Say it with me ♪ 501 00:19:58,704 --> 00:20:00,921 ♪ Head bent over ♪ 502 00:20:01,007 --> 00:20:02,873 ♪ Raised up posterior ♪ 503 00:20:02,959 --> 00:20:03,841 ♪ Oh, yeah ♪ 504 00:20:03,960 --> 00:20:05,926 ♪ Head bent over ♪ 505 00:20:05,962 --> 00:20:08,379 ♪ Yeah, raised up posterior ♪ 506 00:20:08,464 --> 00:20:09,463 Sing it with me now! 507 00:20:09,515 --> 00:20:11,966 Oh, my go-- 508 00:20:12,051 --> 00:20:13,634 ♪ Head bent over ♪ 509 00:20:13,769 --> 00:20:14,718 Yeah. 510 00:20:14,804 --> 00:20:16,387 ♪ Raised up posterior ♪ 511 00:20:16,472 --> 00:20:17,471 All right! 512 00:20:17,523 --> 00:20:18,889 ♪ Head bent over ♪ 513 00:20:18,975 --> 00:20:23,310 Oh, yeah. Raised up posterior! 514 00:20:23,396 --> 00:20:26,614 After 988 seasons of "Planet Music", 515 00:20:26,649 --> 00:20:30,818 the cromulons have decided to declare earth the final winner 516 00:20:30,903 --> 00:20:34,321 and bring our musical reality show to a conclusion. 517 00:20:34,407 --> 00:20:35,823 Goodbye. 518 00:20:37,493 --> 00:20:38,826 - Yeah! - We did it! Yes! 519 00:20:38,961 --> 00:20:40,828 Let's get a music album now! 520 00:20:40,913 --> 00:20:44,665 Did he just say "musical reality show"? 521 00:20:44,767 --> 00:20:47,601 Yeah, it's possible that we may have been correlating 522 00:20:47,703 --> 00:20:50,070 some things that weren't actually related at all. 523 00:20:50,139 --> 00:20:51,672 Help! 524 00:20:51,724 --> 00:20:52,840 We should go get him. 525 00:20:54,677 --> 00:20:56,510 I hope I can call on you and Rick again if I need you, Morty. 526 00:20:56,562 --> 00:20:57,978 Sure thing. And I-- 527 00:20:58,014 --> 00:21:00,347 I was kind of hoping that I could get a selfie with you? 528 00:21:00,433 --> 00:21:02,683 Actually, if you try to tell anyone what happened here, 529 00:21:02,768 --> 00:21:04,685 we'll deny it and probably worse. 530 00:21:04,820 --> 00:21:05,819 Understood. 531 00:21:05,855 --> 00:21:06,987 D-i-i-i-i-ie! 532 00:21:07,023 --> 00:21:09,023 Oh, no, no, no! 533 00:21:09,108 --> 00:21:11,609 Why didn't he turn into a snake? 534 00:21:11,694 --> 00:21:13,027 Trade secret, Mr. President. 535 00:21:13,079 --> 00:21:17,331 Particle beam in a wristwatch, snake holster on the leg. 536 00:21:26,459 --> 00:21:28,042 I love this man! 537 00:21:28,094 --> 00:21:31,045 ♪ 538 00:21:53,569 --> 00:21:59,569 Sync & corrections by XhmikosR www.addic7ed.com 539 00:22:01,744 --> 00:22:05,045 Magnesium-J, Hydrogen-F... 540 00:22:05,081 --> 00:22:06,580 Father. 541 00:22:06,666 --> 00:22:09,416 Word of your selfless acts on the Earth planet 542 00:22:09,468 --> 00:22:11,518 have traveled across the galaxy. 543 00:22:11,587 --> 00:22:12,886 I have changed. 544 00:22:12,989 --> 00:22:16,457 I am ready to rejoin my brethren on alphabetrium. 545 00:22:16,525 --> 00:22:17,524 Very well. 546 00:22:17,593 --> 00:22:20,260 Your exile ends today. 547 00:22:22,732 --> 00:22:26,517 Welcome home, Water-T. 548 00:22:27,820 --> 00:22:29,436 The numbericons! They're attacking! 549 00:22:29,572 --> 00:22:31,138 Battle stations! 550 00:22:31,240 --> 00:22:32,406 Aah! 551 00:22:32,491 --> 00:22:33,407 Father! 552 00:22:33,442 --> 00:22:34,775 I love you, son. 553 00:22:34,827 --> 00:22:38,579 I should have never turned you to ice. 554 00:22:39,014 --> 00:22:41,665 Water-T, where are you going?! 555 00:22:41,751 --> 00:22:43,450 There's too many of them! 556 00:22:43,502 --> 00:22:45,869 Then I better crunch the numbers. 557 00:22:45,955 --> 00:22:49,089 Aaaaaaaaaaaah! 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net