1
00:00:01,735 --> 00:00:04,136
Anyway, that's how I
escaped from space prison!
2
00:00:04,171 --> 00:00:05,404
Oh, scary place.
3
00:00:05,439 --> 00:00:07,973
Wow, Rick! That's... That's
one... one heck of a story.
4
00:00:08,008 --> 00:00:10,153
I sure do wish I could have been
there to see it happen. Oh, come on.
5
00:00:10,177 --> 00:00:13,078
Who wants to watch a mad scientist
use handmade sci-fi tools
6
00:00:13,113 --> 00:00:15,047
to take out highly trained
alien guards
7
00:00:15,082 --> 00:00:17,082
when we can sit here
and be a family at Shoney's?
8
00:00:17,117 --> 00:00:19,985
Dad, it's great to have you
back, no matter where we are,
9
00:00:20,020 --> 00:00:21,686
but wouldn't you like
to go home?
10
00:00:21,721 --> 00:00:23,889
Emotionally speaking, honey,
Shoney's is my home.
11
00:00:23,924 --> 00:00:25,268
Yeah, but you just
got out of prison.
12
00:00:25,292 --> 00:00:27,759
I mean, how much of a step up
from that is...
13
00:00:27,794 --> 00:00:29,539
Jerry, get out of the booth,
take all your clothes off,
14
00:00:29,563 --> 00:00:30,729
and fold yourself 12 times.
15
00:00:30,764 --> 00:00:32,197
You got it.
16
00:00:37,471 --> 00:00:38,904
Six folds, huh?
17
00:00:38,939 --> 00:00:40,783
W-W-What, have you guys got me
in a Series 9000?
18
00:00:40,807 --> 00:00:43,842
You cheap insect fucks didn't think
I was worth your best equipment?
19
00:00:43,877 --> 00:00:46,711
Man, I told the money bugs.
20
00:00:46,746 --> 00:00:48,780
I said, "You know
who this guy is, right?"
21
00:00:48,815 --> 00:00:50,849
You want me to get intel
out of the smartest mammal
22
00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:53,685
"in the galaxy, you better
give me a decent brainalyzer."
23
00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:55,364
Well, you might as well
order some pancakes,
24
00:00:55,388 --> 00:00:57,600
because I don't see the need
to leave this part of my brain.
25
00:00:57,624 --> 00:00:59,057
Oh, I think you do.
26
00:00:59,092 --> 00:01:01,270
Eventually, you're either gonna
relax your cerebellum...
27
00:01:01,294 --> 00:01:04,229
Shoney's. - ... or the Series 9000
is going to turn it into mush.
28
00:01:04,264 --> 00:01:06,565
Relaxed enough?
29
00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:07,766
I admire you, Rick.
30
00:01:09,002 --> 00:01:10,268
When I...
31
00:01:11,505 --> 00:01:12,704
Rick, here's...
32
00:01:15,275 --> 00:01:16,575
What's going on?
33
00:01:16,610 --> 00:01:18,754
It's hard to tell. He may have
manifested some sort of butt.
34
00:01:18,778 --> 00:01:19,978
He can do that?
35
00:01:20,013 --> 00:01:23,115
He is the smartest man
in the universe.
36
00:01:59,619 --> 00:02:02,254
I tell ya, the Galactic
Federation taking over Earth...
37
00:02:02,289 --> 00:02:04,256
Best thing that's ever happened
to this family.
38
00:02:04,291 --> 00:02:06,124
I just got my sixth promotion
this week,
39
00:02:06,159 --> 00:02:07,436
and I still don't know
what I do.
40
00:02:07,460 --> 00:02:09,094
Who cares how high
they promote you?
41
00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:10,829
Everyone just gets paid
in pills.
42
00:02:10,864 --> 00:02:12,842
Well, when you're not sure
what you do for a living,
43
00:02:12,866 --> 00:02:14,099
you can make your own rules.
44
00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:16,268
Summer, show your father
some respect.
45
00:02:16,303 --> 00:02:18,670
He's pulling down
- a six-chewable figure income.
46
00:02:20,173 --> 00:02:21,951
I'll get that in a moment.
How are everyone's pills?
47
00:02:21,975 --> 00:02:23,942
Oh, Morty, you've hardly
touched your pills.
48
00:02:23,977 --> 00:02:25,944
I kind of had big pills
for lunch, and I
49
00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:28,113
wasn't gonna eat any more pills.
50
00:02:29,349 --> 00:02:30,549
Thank you, Conroy.
51
00:02:30,584 --> 00:02:31,850
You spoil us, Conroy.
52
00:02:31,885 --> 00:02:33,618
Grandpa Rick wouldn't put up
with this!
53
00:02:33,653 --> 00:02:36,321
Stop saying his name!
He abandoned us.
54
00:02:36,356 --> 00:02:37,622
Willem Dafoe!
55
00:02:37,657 --> 00:02:39,858
Th-That's the guy I couldn't
think of this morning.
56
00:02:39,893 --> 00:02:41,159
Don't make my mistake, Summer.
57
00:02:41,194 --> 00:02:43,128
Don't deify the people
that leave you.
58
00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:46,464
You'll end up a horse surgeon
in a world controlled by aliens
59
00:02:46,499 --> 00:02:48,166
whose medicine keeps horses
60
00:02:48,201 --> 00:02:49,968
healthy forever.
61
00:02:50,003 --> 00:02:51,870
Horses live longer
than tortoises now.
62
00:02:51,905 --> 00:02:53,305
Is that what you want
for yourself?
63
00:02:53,340 --> 00:02:56,575
Maybe I just want you to care
if I run away yelling!
64
00:02:56,610 --> 00:02:57,909
Who saved room for pill brûlée?
65
00:02:57,944 --> 00:02:59,477
Ooh!
66
00:02:59,512 --> 00:03:01,980
I can see why you chose
this family-friendly restaurant
67
00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:03,648
to represent your cerebellum.
68
00:03:03,683 --> 00:03:06,651
So safe, so comfortable,
so Shoney's.
69
00:03:06,686 --> 00:03:09,988
But admit it, Rick... you're
going crazy cooped up in here.
70
00:03:10,023 --> 00:03:11,489
Let's go visit some memories.
71
00:03:11,524 --> 00:03:12,657
Oh, any particular ones?
72
00:03:12,692 --> 00:03:14,192
You want to see my first boner,
73
00:03:14,227 --> 00:03:15,338
or should we go straight
to the moment
74
00:03:15,362 --> 00:03:17,329
I discovered
interdimensional travel?
75
00:03:17,364 --> 00:03:19,664
Ooh, your little flappy doodles
are twitching.
76
00:03:19,699 --> 00:03:22,011
Does that mean you're aroused,
or did you just get a signal
77
00:03:22,035 --> 00:03:23,512
that one of your buddies
found a grape?
78
00:03:23,536 --> 00:03:24,836
It's arousal.
79
00:03:24,871 --> 00:03:26,705
Yes, I'd like very much
to visit the memory
80
00:03:26,740 --> 00:03:28,017
of you inventing
your portal gun.
81
00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:30,675
Yeah, well, tough titties.
82
00:03:30,710 --> 00:03:33,345
There's no tougher titty
than a psychotic break, Rick.
83
00:03:33,380 --> 00:03:37,449
Well, that depends on who breaks
first... me or the titty.
84
00:03:39,286 --> 00:03:40,852
Someone special you remember?
85
00:03:40,887 --> 00:03:42,787
Is that your memory of her
out there...
86
00:03:42,822 --> 00:03:44,256
Between where you were on 9/11
87
00:03:44,291 --> 00:03:46,024
and your favorite
sports blooper?
88
00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:51,930
If we stay here, you'll die,
along with all your memories.
89
00:03:51,965 --> 00:03:53,898
If you take me
where I want to go...
90
00:03:53,933 --> 00:03:55,533
she'll be there, too, won't she?
91
00:03:55,568 --> 00:03:58,803
The day I invented the portal
gun is the day I lost her.
92
00:03:58,838 --> 00:04:00,205
Oh, that sounds cool.
93
00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:02,140
I can get what I want
and you can say goodbye.
94
00:04:02,175 --> 00:04:05,110
Fine, but I'm driving.
95
00:04:05,145 --> 00:04:07,145
As an excuse
to strip away our freedom.
96
00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:11,983
Huh? What are you...
What are you doing?
97
00:04:12,018 --> 00:04:14,552
Grandpa Rick must have
some secret lab, right?
98
00:04:14,587 --> 00:04:17,389
With, like, laser guns and
jets packs and a space tank!
99
00:04:17,424 --> 00:04:18,957
And we can go
break him out of prison!
100
00:04:18,992 --> 00:04:20,292
Look at these dead flies!
101
00:04:20,327 --> 00:04:21,904
Maybe if we arrange them
in a certain order,
102
00:04:21,928 --> 00:04:23,728
it plays a hologram
or it opens a secret door.
103
00:04:23,763 --> 00:04:25,263
Summer, you're freaking me out.
104
00:04:25,298 --> 00:04:27,410
I know things have changed
a lot, and I know you miss Rick,
105
00:04:27,434 --> 00:04:29,401
but getting him back
wouldn't make things better.
106
00:04:29,436 --> 00:04:30,969
And, you know,
we're not doing so bad.
107
00:04:31,004 --> 00:04:32,504
We're miserable, Morty!
108
00:04:32,539 --> 00:04:35,907
There's a mandatory curfew,
their weird calendar made me 47,
109
00:04:35,942 --> 00:04:37,575
and they weaponized
the Eiffel Tower!
110
00:04:37,610 --> 00:04:40,412
Hey, I like being 35.
I-I can rent a car now.
111
00:04:40,447 --> 00:04:41,513
Because you suck.
112
00:04:41,548 --> 00:04:43,092
You've been keeping
your lip zipped about it
113
00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:44,949
since Grandpa got arrested,
but the fact is,
114
00:04:44,984 --> 00:04:46,818
you're freaking stoked
to bail on him.
115
00:04:46,853 --> 00:04:48,253
He bails on everybody!
116
00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:50,088
He bailed on Mom
when she was a kid!
117
00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:51,623
He... He bailed
on tiny planet!
118
00:04:51,658 --> 00:04:53,469
And in case I never made this
clear to you, Summer,
119
00:04:53,493 --> 00:04:54,659
he bailed on you.
120
00:04:54,694 --> 00:04:56,528
He left you to rot
in a world that he ruined
121
00:04:56,563 --> 00:04:57,796
because he doesn't care!
122
00:04:57,831 --> 00:04:59,497
Because nobody's special to him,
Summer,
123
00:04:59,532 --> 00:05:00,899
not even himself.
124
00:05:00,934 --> 00:05:02,945
So, if you really want your
grandpa back, grab a shovel.
125
00:05:02,969 --> 00:05:05,770
The one that won't let you down
is buried in your backyard!
126
00:05:05,805 --> 00:05:06,938
You're right!
127
00:05:06,973 --> 00:05:08,473
What?
No, I'm not right.
128
00:05:08,508 --> 00:05:10,775
I-I was using
ghoulish overkill!
129
00:05:10,810 --> 00:05:12,043
Ghoulish overkill, Summer!
130
00:05:15,548 --> 00:05:17,949
Oh, God!
Oh, God!
131
00:05:17,984 --> 00:05:18,984
Whoa, whoa!
132
00:05:21,821 --> 00:05:23,054
Where are we going?
133
00:05:23,089 --> 00:05:24,956
To the day it all began...
and ended.
134
00:05:24,991 --> 00:05:27,225
The moment
that changed everything.
135
00:05:28,428 --> 00:05:30,395
Welcome to McDonald's.
Can I take your order?
136
00:05:30,430 --> 00:05:32,130
Yeah, I'd like to get
a 10-piece McNugget
137
00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:33,998
and a bunch
of the Szechuan sauce.
138
00:05:34,033 --> 00:05:35,644
Like, as much as you're allowed
to give me.
139
00:05:35,668 --> 00:05:38,703
In 1998, they had this promotion
for the Disney film "Mulan,"
140
00:05:38,738 --> 00:05:40,004
where they...
Where they...
141
00:05:40,039 --> 00:05:41,679
They created a new sauce
for the McNuggets
142
00:05:41,708 --> 00:05:44,242
called Szechuan sauce,
and it's delicious!
143
00:05:44,277 --> 00:05:46,311
And then they got rid of it,
and now it's gone.
144
00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:48,190
This is the only place we're gonna
be able to try it, is in my memory.
145
00:05:48,214 --> 00:05:50,159
Rick, you're doing this bit
while your brain is melting.
146
00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:52,017
Okay. All right,
all right.
147
00:05:55,021 --> 00:05:57,055
- Is that...
- Me.
148
00:05:57,090 --> 00:05:59,024
I used to wear blue pants.
149
00:06:03,696 --> 00:06:05,997
When'd you make the leap
to interdimensional travel?
150
00:06:06,032 --> 00:06:07,732
I didn't.
did.
151
00:06:07,767 --> 00:06:10,168
Well, well, well.
152
00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:11,736
If it isn't us.
153
00:06:11,771 --> 00:06:13,582
You know the worst part
about inventing teleportation?
154
00:06:13,606 --> 00:06:15,184
Suddenly, you're able to travel
the whole galaxy,
155
00:06:15,208 --> 00:06:16,508
and the first thing
you learn is,
156
00:06:16,543 --> 00:06:18,410
you're the last guy
to invent teleportation.
157
00:06:18,445 --> 00:06:21,846
Fortunately, you're about to invent
something much more powerful.
158
00:06:23,249 --> 00:06:24,483
What?
159
00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:33,191
Summer, nobody has to know
about that.
160
00:06:33,226 --> 00:06:35,371
We could put it right back
and pretend we never saw it,
161
00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:36,806
like we did
with Dad's mannequin leg.
162
00:06:36,830 --> 00:06:39,364
- Fine, stay here.
- I'll rescue Grandpa myself.
163
00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:41,210
- And how are you gonna do that?
- I don't know yet.
164
00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:42,400
I'll make it up as I go.
165
00:06:42,435 --> 00:06:43,868
That's what Grandpa Rick does.
166
00:06:43,903 --> 00:06:45,103
That's what heroes do.
167
00:06:45,138 --> 00:06:46,971
Y-You want to see
what a hero Rick is?
168
00:06:47,006 --> 00:06:48,773
I-I'll bring you somewhere,
Summer.
169
00:06:48,808 --> 00:06:51,476
- Um...
- My goodness, children.
170
00:06:52,312 --> 00:06:54,145
Relinquish
the illegal technology
171
00:06:54,180 --> 00:06:56,381
to the nearest
- Federation representative.
172
00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:58,683
And then
we'll all play Balderdash.
173
00:07:14,467 --> 00:07:17,068
Oh, my goodness!
Oh, oh! My goo...
174
00:07:20,540 --> 00:07:22,340
Oh, my God.
175
00:07:22,375 --> 00:07:24,809
I have that exact same top.
176
00:07:24,844 --> 00:07:26,244
What is this place?
177
00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:28,079
And what's with
"Hunger Games" Summer?
178
00:07:28,114 --> 00:07:32,083
- That's my sister.
- This used to be my home.
179
00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:33,585
Imagine doing anything you want,
180
00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:35,653
then hopping to a timeline
where you never did it.
181
00:07:35,688 --> 00:07:37,288
Imagine going anywhere, anytime,
182
00:07:37,323 --> 00:07:38,857
with nobody able to stop you.
183
00:07:38,892 --> 00:07:40,458
Sounds lonely.
184
00:07:40,493 --> 00:07:42,260
Lonely? Dude,
you have yourself...
185
00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:43,461
Your infinite selves.
186
00:07:43,496 --> 00:07:45,196
It's a nonstop party
where all the guests
187
00:07:45,231 --> 00:07:46,664
are the only person we like.
188
00:07:46,699 --> 00:07:48,310
You think it's cool
being the smartest man on Earth,
189
00:07:48,334 --> 00:07:49,934
but once we give you
this technology,
190
00:07:49,969 --> 00:07:52,937
you become the smartest thing
in every conceivable universe...
191
00:07:52,972 --> 00:07:55,507
The Infinite Rick, a god.
192
00:07:55,542 --> 00:07:56,674
Eh, pass.
193
00:07:56,709 --> 00:07:59,444
- Excuse me?
- Bro, Ricks don't pass on this.
194
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:00,678
Who do you think you are?
195
00:08:00,713 --> 00:08:02,947
A different kind of Rick,
I guess.
196
00:08:02,982 --> 00:08:05,484
Well, we'll see how long
that lasts.
197
00:08:07,520 --> 00:08:09,454
I heard
sci-fi noises.
198
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:10,989
Did you make a breakthrough?
199
00:08:11,024 --> 00:08:12,190
Sort of.
200
00:08:12,225 --> 00:08:13,691
I just took
a long look at myself,
201
00:08:13,726 --> 00:08:16,528
and I don't think this
science thing is gonna pay off.
202
00:08:16,563 --> 00:08:20,031
Well, why don't I get Beth
and we'll go out for ice cream?
203
00:08:20,066 --> 00:08:22,133
That, Dianne,
is the last great idea
204
00:08:22,168 --> 00:08:24,636
that will ever be had
in this garage.
205
00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:30,241
Good roasted Cronenberg,
I assume.
206
00:08:30,276 --> 00:08:33,845
Mom, you're looking...
feral.
207
00:08:34,914 --> 00:08:36,347
I can't believe Rick did this.
208
00:08:36,382 --> 00:08:37,760
These are the parts
of Rick's adventures
209
00:08:37,784 --> 00:08:40,385
you don't get to see...
The parts he leaves behind.
210
00:08:40,420 --> 00:08:42,420
All right,
it's been great, guys.
211
00:08:42,455 --> 00:08:45,390
I really only wanted to stop by
here for a quick "I told ya so."
212
00:08:45,425 --> 00:08:47,358
So, uh...
Looking for this?
213
00:08:47,393 --> 00:08:48,571
What are you doing with that?
214
00:08:48,595 --> 00:08:50,929
It stinks of Rick.
215
00:08:50,964 --> 00:08:53,164
No! Why?
Why would you do that?
216
00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:55,333
W-W-What is the matter
with you people?
217
00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:59,404
You're a bunch of back-savages,
backwoods savage morons!
218
00:08:59,439 --> 00:09:02,907
You can never leave.
She cannot remain.
219
00:09:02,942 --> 00:09:04,276
She stinks of Rick.
220
00:09:07,747 --> 00:09:09,180
Hold your fire!
Hold your fire!
221
00:09:09,215 --> 00:09:11,082
I'm Morty C-137.
222
00:09:11,818 --> 00:09:14,786
We detected a compromised
portal gun. Where is your Rick?
223
00:09:14,821 --> 00:09:16,020
He's in prison.
Summer.
224
00:09:16,055 --> 00:09:17,522
He got captured
by the Federation
225
00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:18,923
and we were going to rescue him.
226
00:09:18,958 --> 00:09:21,359
- Very troubling.
- We can't risk Citadel secrets
227
00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:22,860
falling into
the Federation's hands.
228
00:09:22,895 --> 00:09:25,096
We'll dispatch S.E.A.L.
Team Ricks immediately
229
00:09:25,131 --> 00:09:26,965
to break into the prison
holding C-137.
230
00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:29,467
- Boo-yah.
- And assassinate him.
231
00:09:29,502 --> 00:09:31,202
Boo-nah?
232
00:09:31,237 --> 00:09:34,973
Come on, girls!
The ice cream's gonna melt.
233
00:09:45,652 --> 00:09:49,387
Nooooooo!
234
00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:52,223
Wow.
This sauce is fucking amazing.
235
00:09:52,258 --> 00:09:53,658
You said it was promoting
a movie?
236
00:09:58,364 --> 00:10:00,898
Carry the three, add a two.
237
00:10:00,933 --> 00:10:03,735
I got it.
I fucking got it.
238
00:10:03,770 --> 00:10:06,170
- Whoa.
- I-Is that it, the portal gun?
239
00:10:06,205 --> 00:10:08,306
Yeah.
That's the three lines of math
240
00:10:08,341 --> 00:10:11,643
that separates my life as a man
from my life as an unfeeling ghost.
241
00:10:11,678 --> 00:10:13,111
Awesome-possum.
242
00:10:14,547 --> 00:10:15,947
Mission Control,
you getting this?
243
00:10:15,982 --> 00:10:18,683
Holy shit, yes!
Yes, we got it! Yeah!
244
00:10:18,718 --> 00:10:21,653
Thanks, Rick. I'll try to remember
to shut off the brainalyzer.
245
00:10:21,688 --> 00:10:24,088
Actually, I think
- it shuts off automatically
246
00:10:24,123 --> 00:10:25,490
once your brain is liquid.
247
00:10:25,525 --> 00:10:26,658
Don't know, don't care.
248
00:10:26,693 --> 00:10:28,593
Pull me out.
249
00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:30,428
Hey, pull me out.
Can you hear me?
250
00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:32,330
- Nope, they cannot.
- Why not?
251
00:10:32,365 --> 00:10:35,177
Because the code you just uploaded
wasn't actually my portal-gun formula,
252
00:10:35,201 --> 00:10:38,036
it was a virus giving me full
control over the brainalyzer.
253
00:10:38,071 --> 00:10:39,815
What are you talking about?
This is a memory.
254
00:10:39,839 --> 00:10:41,673
Y-You can't alter details
of a memory.
255
00:10:41,708 --> 00:10:43,941
True, but you can alter
anything you want
256
00:10:43,976 --> 00:10:46,378
about a totally fabricated
origin story.
257
00:10:46,913 --> 00:10:49,013
It's a trap! Abort!
I'm still in his Shoney's!
258
00:10:49,048 --> 00:10:51,015
Repeat... we never left
his Shoney's!
259
00:10:51,050 --> 00:10:53,317
Mission accomplished, boys.
Pull me out.
260
00:10:53,352 --> 00:10:54,519
Roger that.
261
00:10:54,554 --> 00:10:55,731
Okay, have fun in what's left
of my brain.
262
00:10:55,755 --> 00:10:57,121
I'm gonna transfer to yours.
263
00:10:57,156 --> 00:10:59,123
Oh, there's not enough room
for all my genius,
264
00:10:59,158 --> 00:11:01,225
so I'm leaving you with
my fear of wicker furniture,
265
00:11:01,260 --> 00:11:02,694
my desire to play the trumpet,
266
00:11:02,729 --> 00:11:04,169
my tentative plans
to purchase a hat,
267
00:11:04,197 --> 00:11:05,830
and six years
of improv workshops.
268
00:11:05,865 --> 00:11:07,198
Comedy comes in threes.
269
00:11:07,233 --> 00:11:08,800
It's a trap! Abort!
We never left his...
270
00:11:11,170 --> 00:11:13,104
No!
271
00:11:15,842 --> 00:11:17,041
Another day, another dollar.
272
00:11:17,076 --> 00:11:18,643
Am I great insect creature
or what?
273
00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:19,844
Congratulations, Agent.
274
00:11:19,879 --> 00:11:21,479
You'll be highly commended
for this.
275
00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:23,514
Always wait for permission
to feel accomplishment.
276
00:11:23,549 --> 00:11:25,883
That's my motto. One thing
still perplexes me...
277
00:11:25,918 --> 00:11:27,719
Why would Rick Sanchez
turn himself in?
278
00:11:27,754 --> 00:11:30,221
Well, I'm just a dumb-ass bug,
but it's possible Rick knew
279
00:11:30,256 --> 00:11:31,923
he'd be interrogated
at this facility,
280
00:11:31,958 --> 00:11:33,725
where we not only keep
our most wanted,
281
00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:35,193
but our most sensitive data.
282
00:11:35,228 --> 00:11:36,994
Anyone here with level-nine
access could
283
00:11:37,029 --> 00:11:38,730
I don't know,
collapse a government.
284
00:11:38,765 --> 00:11:40,098
I'm just gonna go take a dump.
285
00:11:40,133 --> 00:11:42,200
Is it cool if I use
the level-nine bathroom?
286
00:11:42,235 --> 00:11:44,602
W-W-What's the level-nine
master access code again?
287
00:11:44,637 --> 00:11:47,171
Oh, that's easy...
8-3...
288
00:11:47,206 --> 00:11:48,206
Yeah!
289
00:11:48,241 --> 00:11:49,874
S.E.A.L. Team Ricks
in the house!
290
00:11:52,278 --> 00:11:53,411
Hi, Rick.
291
00:11:53,446 --> 00:11:54,913
Bye, Rick.
292
00:11:58,785 --> 00:12:00,418
D-99, y-you okay?
293
00:12:02,789 --> 00:12:05,134
I'm bummed I didn't get to give
that insect dick a test-drive.
294
00:12:05,158 --> 00:12:07,069
Wait, wait, wait, wait!
T-The Council of Ricks sent us.
295
00:12:07,093 --> 00:12:08,270
We have your Morty and Summer.
296
00:12:08,294 --> 00:12:09,761
They're prisoners
on the Citadel.
297
00:12:09,796 --> 00:12:11,095
Great!
298
00:12:11,130 --> 00:12:13,397
Security breach in room 6755.
299
00:12:13,432 --> 00:12:15,800
Lovely. Not only
is my plan screwed up,
300
00:12:15,835 --> 00:12:17,301
I also forgot how to improvise.
301
00:12:17,336 --> 00:12:19,270
All security people approach.
302
00:12:19,305 --> 00:12:20,472
Security breach.
303
00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:29,280
A city of Grandpas?
304
00:12:29,315 --> 00:12:30,982
It's the Citadel of Ricks.
305
00:12:31,017 --> 00:12:32,795
All the different Ricks
from all the different realities
306
00:12:32,819 --> 00:12:34,463
got together to hide here
from the government.
307
00:12:34,487 --> 00:12:36,254
But if every Rick
hates the government,
308
00:12:36,289 --> 00:12:37,722
why would they hate Grandpa?
309
00:12:37,757 --> 00:12:39,724
Because Ricks hate themselves
the most.
310
00:12:39,759 --> 00:12:42,426
And our Rick
is the most... himself.
311
00:12:42,461 --> 00:12:43,728
Not anymore, homey.
312
00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:45,140
S.E.A.L. Team Ricks
turned his unibrow
313
00:12:45,164 --> 00:12:47,598
into two brows...
With a bullet.
314
00:12:48,868 --> 00:12:51,636
Your Rick's dead!
Your Rick's dead!
315
00:12:53,940 --> 00:12:57,241
Sir, Rick D-99 is returning
from the mission alone.
316
00:12:57,276 --> 00:13:00,311
Apparently, S.E.A.L. Team Ricks
suffered heavy casualties.
317
00:13:00,346 --> 00:13:01,646
Bring him in.
318
00:13:01,681 --> 00:13:04,448
He says he'll only talk to
a Rick with higher clearance.
319
00:13:04,483 --> 00:13:06,150
La-di-da.
Give me that.
320
00:13:06,185 --> 00:13:09,687
D-99, this is the commander in
chief of the Citadel's militia.
321
00:13:09,722 --> 00:13:11,856
Go...
Good enough.
322
00:13:13,359 --> 00:13:16,327
He's a spy. Blow him up.
I'm gonna go take a shit.
323
00:13:16,362 --> 00:13:18,596
Operating
an unregistered portal gun,
324
00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:20,164
radicalizing a Summer,
325
00:13:20,199 --> 00:13:21,833
conspiring with
a traitorous Rick.
326
00:13:21,868 --> 00:13:23,000
How do you plead?
327
00:13:23,035 --> 00:13:24,468
How is this a fair trial?
328
00:13:24,503 --> 00:13:25,970
O-Our lawyer
is a Morty.
329
00:13:26,005 --> 00:13:28,272
It's not fair, you have no
rights, and he's not a lawyer.
330
00:13:28,307 --> 00:13:30,007
We just keep him here
because he's fun.
331
00:13:30,042 --> 00:13:31,375
Look at him go.
332
00:13:31,410 --> 00:13:32,510
Ha ha, yeah!
333
00:13:32,545 --> 00:13:35,046
We'll be lenient
if you renounce your Rick.
334
00:13:35,081 --> 00:13:36,514
What say you, Summer?
335
00:13:36,549 --> 00:13:37,715
I say fuck you!
336
00:13:37,750 --> 00:13:39,317
My grandpa was my hero.
337
00:13:39,352 --> 00:13:41,163
You killed him
- because you were jealous of him.
338
00:13:41,187 --> 00:13:42,820
That's pretty obvious
from the haircuts.
339
00:13:42,855 --> 00:13:45,122
So do what you want to me,
but let my brother go.
340
00:13:45,157 --> 00:13:46,724
He already renounced Rick.
341
00:13:46,759 --> 00:13:47,959
Morty?
342
00:13:47,994 --> 00:13:49,360
What?
343
00:13:49,395 --> 00:13:51,963
N-No, I don't want to see
your Pog collection.
344
00:13:51,998 --> 00:13:54,332
I don't renounce Rick,
and I never have.
345
00:13:54,367 --> 00:13:56,834
I was just trying
to protect my sister.
346
00:13:56,869 --> 00:13:58,502
I wanted you to have
a normal life.
347
00:13:58,537 --> 00:14:00,482
That's something you can't have
when Rick shows up.
348
00:14:00,506 --> 00:14:03,241
Everything real turns fake.
Everything right is wrong.
349
00:14:03,276 --> 00:14:06,043
All you know is that you know
nothing and he knows everything.
350
00:14:06,078 --> 00:14:08,813
And, well... well,
- he's not a villain, Summer,
351
00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:10,548
but he shouldn't be your hero.
352
00:14:10,583 --> 00:14:13,885
He's more like a demon
or a super fucked up god.
353
00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:16,153
Let's not suck the ghost
of his dick too hard.
354
00:14:16,188 --> 00:14:17,688
He was a terrorist,
and now he's dead.
355
00:14:17,723 --> 00:14:19,668
Oh, yeah? If you think
my Rick's dead, he's alive.
356
00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:21,826
And if you think you're safe,
he's coming for you!
357
00:14:28,100 --> 00:14:29,611
- Hey, whoa, whoa!
- What are you doing in here?
358
00:14:29,635 --> 00:14:32,103
This area's for teleporting
the entire Citadel
359
00:14:32,138 --> 00:14:34,739
to somewhere else
- using only buttons and dials.
360
00:14:34,774 --> 00:14:36,407
Yeah, well, it's a bad idea
361
00:14:36,442 --> 00:14:39,377
to have it designed
that way then, isn't it?
362
00:14:44,417 --> 00:14:46,284
What the fuck
363
00:14:46,319 --> 00:14:48,886
We just teleported into
a galactic federal prison.
364
00:14:48,921 --> 00:14:51,389
I'm gonna go take a shit.
365
00:14:51,424 --> 00:14:52,790
Order in the court!
366
00:14:52,825 --> 00:14:54,592
Whoa! What the hell?
Oh, my God!
367
00:14:58,297 --> 00:15:00,231
Wait, wait, wait, wait!
No, no, no!
368
00:15:02,768 --> 00:15:05,803
Whoa!
369
00:15:05,838 --> 00:15:07,338
Whoa!
370
00:15:13,946 --> 00:15:18,049
The Citadel's been teleported
to Federation space.
371
00:15:18,084 --> 00:15:20,584
It's doomed.
This has to be C-137, you guys.
372
00:15:20,619 --> 00:15:22,297
What are we gonna do?
You know he's coming for us.
373
00:15:22,321 --> 00:15:24,555
All right, calm down!
We have his Summer as a hostage.
374
00:15:24,590 --> 00:15:25,723
Obviously, I get her.
375
00:15:25,758 --> 00:15:28,293
You guys play Rick, Laser,
Scissors for the Morty.
376
00:15:29,795 --> 00:15:31,295
W-W-What the hell
is that?
377
00:15:31,330 --> 00:15:32,864
Payback.
378
00:15:35,434 --> 00:15:36,934
Grandpa Rick!
379
00:15:36,969 --> 00:15:38,502
- Duh!
- You're alive!
380
00:15:38,537 --> 00:15:40,805
Rick!
- Morty, take this. - You're gonna need it later.
381
00:15:45,211 --> 00:15:47,078
Hold on, hold on.
Whoa!
382
00:15:47,113 --> 00:15:48,679
That's enough, Rick.
383
00:15:48,714 --> 00:15:50,481
What... What's this
supposed to accomplish?
384
00:15:50,516 --> 00:15:52,483
We have infinite grandkids.
385
00:15:52,518 --> 00:15:54,463
You're trying to use Disney bucks
at a Caesar's Palace here.
386
00:15:54,487 --> 00:15:57,021
That's a bluff.
He's bluffing, sir. He loves me.
387
00:15:57,056 --> 00:15:59,590
You're a rogue Rick...
Irrational, passionate.
388
00:15:59,625 --> 00:16:02,326
You love your grandkids.
You came to rescue them.
389
00:16:02,361 --> 00:16:04,128
I came to kill you, bro.
390
00:16:04,163 --> 00:16:05,663
That's not even
my original Summer.
391
00:16:05,698 --> 00:16:07,509
Oh, my God. He's not bluffing.
He's not bluffing!
392
00:16:07,533 --> 00:16:09,467
R-Rick?
Why not shoot through her?
393
00:16:09,502 --> 00:16:11,702
20 yards, nine-gauge
plasma pistol,
394
00:16:11,737 --> 00:16:14,171
My first shot would liquify
her insides and injure you,
395
00:16:14,206 --> 00:16:15,840
second shot adds recoil.
396
00:16:15,875 --> 00:16:18,020
The risk to me is minimized
if I wait for you to shoot her,
397
00:16:18,044 --> 00:16:19,443
which I'm encouraging you to do.
398
00:16:19,478 --> 00:16:21,012
What the fuck Or let her go,
399
00:16:21,047 --> 00:16:22,780
which I will reward
with a quicker death.
400
00:16:22,815 --> 00:16:24,348
Because you love her!
401
00:16:24,383 --> 00:16:27,118
Because it's incentive for you
to give me my cleanest shot,
402
00:16:27,153 --> 00:16:28,786
which will be your
least painful death.
403
00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:31,288
But if you want to die slower
than that, I'm super into it.
404
00:16:31,323 --> 00:16:33,301
All you got to do to get
that started is kill the girl.
405
00:16:33,325 --> 00:16:35,659
- I hate you!
- Not an issue, sweetie.
406
00:16:35,694 --> 00:16:37,528
That's enough!
Drop the gun, Rick!
407
00:16:37,563 --> 00:16:39,363
Morty, I know you're too stupid
to get this,
408
00:16:39,398 --> 00:16:41,043
but you're really fucking
this up right now.
409
00:16:41,067 --> 00:16:43,567
I'm not letting you let my sister die!
Drop the gun!
410
00:16:43,602 --> 00:16:45,569
I wasn't gonna let her die,
you fucking moron!
411
00:16:45,604 --> 00:16:46,804
- Ha!
- Aww.
412
00:16:46,839 --> 00:16:48,406
The point is he thought
I was going to.
413
00:16:48,441 --> 00:16:49,840
I totally did, by the way.
414
00:16:49,875 --> 00:16:51,308
You're a fucking moron, Morty.
415
00:16:51,343 --> 00:16:52,576
Morty, you fucking idiot!
416
00:16:52,611 --> 00:16:54,311
You're a serious
fucking idiot, Morty!
417
00:16:54,346 --> 00:16:55,880
You basically killed us all!
418
00:16:55,915 --> 00:16:57,875
You're the worst! You're
as dumb as a bag of sand.
419
00:17:03,422 --> 00:17:05,056
Who's stupid now, bitch?
420
00:17:05,091 --> 00:17:07,091
Morty, we just got him back!
421
00:17:08,427 --> 00:17:09,827
That was amazing, Morty.
422
00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:11,195
Oh, my God.
Wow.
423
00:17:11,230 --> 00:17:12,597
Okay, let's wrap this...
424
00:17:14,266 --> 00:17:15,900
Good job, Morty.
Let's go, kids.
425
00:17:15,935 --> 00:17:17,234
What?
What happened?
426
00:17:17,269 --> 00:17:19,003
Oldest Rick trick in the book.
427
00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:21,072
"Fake gun,
shoot me in standoff."
428
00:17:21,107 --> 00:17:22,373
- Brilliant.
- Ha, yeah.
429
00:17:22,408 --> 00:17:24,909
G-Good thing
I saw that note.
430
00:17:31,117 --> 00:17:32,917
Can't we just portal home?
431
00:17:32,952 --> 00:17:34,685
Not until I finish
what I started.
432
00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:37,588
And that is how you get
level-nine access
433
00:17:37,623 --> 00:17:39,090
without a password.
434
00:17:39,125 --> 00:17:40,858
Freeze!
435
00:17:40,893 --> 00:17:42,726
Employee of the month,
ladies and gentlemen.
436
00:17:42,761 --> 00:17:44,806
So, what are you doing
with level-nine access anyways?
437
00:17:44,830 --> 00:17:47,598
Destroying the galactic government.
Awesome! Whoa, cool!
438
00:17:47,633 --> 00:17:49,711
Are you going to set all their
nukes to target each other?
439
00:17:49,735 --> 00:17:51,480
Ooh, or... or reprogram
their military portals
440
00:17:51,504 --> 00:17:53,148
to disintegrate
- their entire space fleet?
441
00:17:53,172 --> 00:17:55,206
Good pitches, kids.
I'm almost proud.
442
00:17:55,241 --> 00:17:57,475
But watch closely as Grandpa
topples an empire
443
00:17:57,510 --> 00:18:00,778
by changing a one...
to a zero.
444
00:18:03,649 --> 00:18:06,283
Mr. President, the Blemflarck's
value just dropped to nothing.
445
00:18:06,318 --> 00:18:09,587
What do you mean? I mean, our single
centralized galactic currency
446
00:18:09,622 --> 00:18:13,390
just went from being worth one
of itself to zero of itself.
447
00:18:13,425 --> 00:18:15,259
Calm down, people.
448
00:18:15,294 --> 00:18:17,628
Deploy the galactic militia
and declare martial law.
449
00:18:17,663 --> 00:18:18,629
Yes, sir.
450
00:18:18,664 --> 00:18:20,464
Uh, what should I pay them with?
451
00:18:20,499 --> 00:18:23,400
Their payment is the honor
they'll feel to serve their...
452
00:18:23,435 --> 00:18:25,402
Wait. Who's paying me
to yell at this guy?
453
00:18:25,437 --> 00:18:27,805
I can answer that...
For money.
454
00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:29,317
I never thought I'd live
to see this day.
455
00:18:29,341 --> 00:18:30,674
Gentlemen, gentlemen, gentlemen!
456
00:18:30,709 --> 00:18:33,177
There's a solution here
you're not seeing.
457
00:18:36,649 --> 00:18:38,349
Give me your jacket!
Give me those pants!
458
00:18:44,190 --> 00:18:46,423
There's
no rich people or poor people!
459
00:18:46,458 --> 00:18:48,159
I want more jackets!
460
00:18:48,194 --> 00:18:50,828
He who controls the pants
controls the galaxy!
461
00:19:04,977 --> 00:19:09,313
No longer will the insects
have domain over surface world!
462
00:19:17,189 --> 00:19:19,456
Jerry, what the hell
is happening?
463
00:19:19,491 --> 00:19:21,525
The galactic government
collapsed.
464
00:19:21,560 --> 00:19:22,793
Are you okay?
465
00:19:22,828 --> 00:19:24,472
Look, I-I'm not proud to share
this, but the truth is,
466
00:19:24,496 --> 00:19:26,197
I just kept crawling,
and it kept working.
467
00:19:26,232 --> 00:19:28,032
- Oh, I'm glad you're okay.
468
00:19:28,067 --> 00:19:32,069
Are we ever going to stop paying
for indulging your father?
469
00:19:32,104 --> 00:19:35,005
Our children, our planet,
our jobs?
470
00:19:35,040 --> 00:19:36,473
Is there anything left to lose?
471
00:19:36,508 --> 00:19:38,842
Just each other,
- and I'll never let you go.
472
00:19:38,877 --> 00:19:41,946
And I'm so sorry
I ever did this to us.
473
00:19:42,548 --> 00:19:44,815
Guess who dismantled
the government?
474
00:19:44,850 --> 00:19:46,750
Please don't leave me again.
I never will, baby.
475
00:19:46,785 --> 00:19:48,719
I was right.
He turned himself in on purpose.
476
00:19:48,754 --> 00:19:50,154
It was all part of his plan!
477
00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:51,722
Jerry, is there any
light beer left?
478
00:19:51,757 --> 00:19:53,490
It's insane what you miss
in prison.
479
00:19:53,525 --> 00:19:55,492
Um... okay.
No.
480
00:19:55,527 --> 00:19:57,561
No, no, no.
Foot down time.
481
00:19:57,596 --> 00:19:59,196
No, you're right.
Where's the vodka?
482
00:19:59,231 --> 00:20:01,465
Beth, it's him or me!
483
00:20:04,803 --> 00:20:07,271
Seems like you guys
need some privacy.
484
00:20:07,306 --> 00:20:09,607
I'll, uh...
I'll be in the garage.
485
00:20:11,610 --> 00:20:15,045
What the fuck Not cool, Jerry!
486
00:20:15,080 --> 00:20:18,849
A man's garage is his castle.
487
00:20:24,490 --> 00:20:26,190
Jerry's going to...
488
00:20:26,225 --> 00:20:28,259
spend some time...
489
00:20:28,294 --> 00:20:29,526
divorced.
490
00:20:29,561 --> 00:20:31,228
Oh, I-I'm sorry
to hear that, sweetie.
491
00:20:31,263 --> 00:20:32,641
I hope I had nothing
to do with that.
492
00:20:32,665 --> 00:20:35,399
Oh, God, Dad, that is not
your burden to bear.
493
00:20:35,434 --> 00:20:38,235
I feel terrible
that I misjudged you.
494
00:20:38,270 --> 00:20:40,037
This is gonna be good for Jerry.
495
00:20:40,072 --> 00:20:41,972
For everybody.
For everybody.
496
00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:45,109
I better tend to Jerry
497
00:20:45,144 --> 00:20:47,778
before he changes his mind
and doesn't move out.
498
00:20:47,813 --> 00:20:50,114
I will leave you two
to your adventures.
499
00:20:50,149 --> 00:20:51,815
Oh, my God. Nancy says
500
00:20:51,850 --> 00:20:54,318
they're drawing and quartering
aliens in the school courtyard,
501
00:20:54,353 --> 00:20:56,620
and it technically counts
as patriotism.
502
00:20:56,655 --> 00:20:59,590
Geez! Are my parents seriously
gonna get divorced?
503
00:20:59,625 --> 00:21:01,002
All right, Rick,
I'm gonna go to my...
504
00:21:01,026 --> 00:21:02,893
Not so fast, Morty.
You heard your mom.
505
00:21:02,928 --> 00:21:05,429
We've got adventures to go on,
Morty... just you and me...
506
00:21:05,464 --> 00:21:07,464
And sometimes your sister
and sometimes your mom,
507
00:21:07,499 --> 00:21:08,966
but never your dad.
508
00:21:09,001 --> 00:21:10,478
You want to know why, Morty?
Because he crossed me.
509
00:21:10,502 --> 00:21:12,303
Okay, take it easy, Rick.
T-T-That's dark.
510
00:21:12,338 --> 00:21:13,804
Oh, it gets darker, Morty.
511
00:21:13,839 --> 00:21:15,773
Welcome to the darkest year
of our adventures.
512
00:21:15,808 --> 00:21:18,309
First thing that's different... no more Dad, Morty.
- Oh, geez.
513
00:21:18,344 --> 00:21:19,821
He threatened to turn me in
to the government,
514
00:21:19,845 --> 00:21:21,912
so I made him
- and the government go away.
515
00:21:21,947 --> 00:21:23,147
Oh fuck
516
00:21:23,182 --> 00:21:25,516
I've replaced them both
as the de facto patriarch
517
00:21:25,551 --> 00:21:27,284
of your family
and your universe.
518
00:21:27,319 --> 00:21:29,164
Your mom wouldn't have accepted me if I came home...
- Oh, man.
519
00:21:29,188 --> 00:21:30,754
Without you and your sister,
520
00:21:30,789 --> 00:21:32,600
so now you know the real reason I rescued you.
- Oh!
521
00:21:32,624 --> 00:21:34,169
I just took over the family,
Morty, and if you tell your mom...
522
00:21:34,193 --> 00:21:36,304
Oh, man. - ... or sister I said
any of this, I'll deny it,
523
00:21:36,328 --> 00:21:37,839
You're gonna deny it... and they'll
take my side because I'm a hero, Morty.
524
00:21:37,863 --> 00:21:39,341
- And now you're gonna have to go...
- Oh.
525
00:21:39,365 --> 00:21:40,998
And do whatever I say,
Morty, forever!
526
00:21:41,033 --> 00:21:42,877
And I'll... I'll go out
and I'll find some more of that
527
00:21:42,901 --> 00:21:46,003
"Mulan" Szechuan teriyaki
dipping sauce, Morty.
528
00:21:46,038 --> 00:21:48,383
What are you talking about? Because that's
that's what this is all about, Morty.
529
00:21:48,407 --> 00:21:50,007
Szechuan?
That's my one-armed man!
530
00:21:50,042 --> 00:21:52,142
I'm not driven by avenging
my dead family, Morty!
531
00:21:52,177 --> 00:21:53,444
That was fake.
532
00:21:53,479 --> 00:21:54,989
I-I-I'm driven by finding
that McNugget sauce.
533
00:21:55,013 --> 00:21:57,281
McNuggets?
- I want that "Mulan" McNugget sauce, Morty!
534
00:21:57,316 --> 00:21:58,560
That's my series arc, Morty.
What the hell?
535
00:21:58,584 --> 00:22:00,851
If it takes nine seasons,
536
00:22:00,886 --> 00:22:03,598
I want my McNugget dipping sauce, Szechuan
sauce, Morty. What are you talking about, Rick?
537
00:22:03,622 --> 00:22:05,467
That's what's gonna take us all the way to
the end, Morty. What are you talking about?
538
00:22:05,491 --> 00:22:07,057
Season... Nine more
seasons, Morty.
539
00:22:07,092 --> 00:22:09,526
Nine more seasons until I get
that dipping Szechuan sauce.
540
00:22:09,561 --> 00:22:11,462
What is that?
For 97 more years, Morty!
541
00:22:11,497 --> 00:22:12,663
What are you talking about?
542
00:22:12,698 --> 00:22:14,698
I want that McNugget sauce,
Morty!
543
00:22:49,935 --> 00:22:50,901
Is it ready?
544
00:22:50,936 --> 00:22:52,703
- Yes.
- We can bring it online now.
545
00:22:52,738 --> 00:22:53,938
Do it.
546
00:22:57,276 --> 00:23:00,010
I am Phoenix Person.
547
00:23:00,045 --> 00:23:02,112
- Phoenix Person?
- Is that what we settled on?
548
00:23:02,147 --> 00:23:04,047
I thought we all agreed
on Cyber Bird.
549
00:23:04,082 --> 00:23:05,760
You said you didn't care
what he was called
550
00:23:05,784 --> 00:23:07,284
as long as we brought him back.
551
00:23:07,319 --> 00:23:08,752
Yeah, but Phoenix Person?
552
00:23:08,787 --> 00:23:10,354
Fine fuck it.
Who cares?
553
00:23:11,790 --> 00:23:13,591
Ka-kaw!