1 00:00:01,935 --> 00:00:03,237 Ohh! 2 00:00:03,271 --> 00:00:05,049 Summer, next time we're hiding in a Colorkian echo nest, 3 00:00:05,073 --> 00:00:07,375 can you do me a favor and turn your ringer off? 4 00:00:07,408 --> 00:00:08,876 It's called "carpe diem," Morty. 5 00:00:08,909 --> 00:00:10,411 - Look it up. - You look it up! 6 00:00:10,444 --> 00:00:11,888 Y-Y-You don't even... You don't even know what it means! 7 00:00:11,912 --> 00:00:13,547 That's because losers look stuff up 8 00:00:13,581 --> 00:00:15,983 while the rest of us are carpin' all them diems. 9 00:00:16,016 --> 00:00:17,551 Listen to your sister, Morty. 10 00:00:17,585 --> 00:00:18,719 To live is to risk it all. 11 00:00:18,752 --> 00:00:20,030 Otherwise, you're just an inert chunk 12 00:00:20,054 --> 00:00:21,655 of randomly assembled molecules 13 00:00:21,689 --> 00:00:23,524 drifting wherever the universe blows you. 14 00:00:23,557 --> 00:00:25,693 Oh, I'm sorry. Jerry, I didn't see you there. 15 00:00:25,726 --> 00:00:27,027 H-How much of that did you hear? 16 00:00:27,061 --> 00:00:29,330 All of it. You were looking right at me. 17 00:00:29,363 --> 00:00:31,899 I just wanted to say goodbye to the kids. 18 00:00:31,932 --> 00:00:33,367 Cool. Just stay in the driveway. 19 00:00:33,401 --> 00:00:35,445 The killbots are live, and I took you off the white list. 20 00:00:35,469 --> 00:00:37,705 W-We'll see you every other weekend, though, right? 21 00:00:37,738 --> 00:00:39,073 Absolutely, Morty. 22 00:00:39,107 --> 00:00:40,241 A-And your Mom's lawyer says 23 00:00:40,274 --> 00:00:41,942 if I can get enough in the settlement, 24 00:00:41,975 --> 00:00:44,512 he can help me sue for full custody. 25 00:00:44,545 --> 00:00:45,746 Th-That'll be nice. 26 00:00:45,779 --> 00:00:48,082 - Uh, Summer, Dad's leaving. - Bye, Dad. 27 00:00:48,116 --> 00:00:49,883 Rick, didn't you say you needed my help 28 00:00:49,917 --> 00:00:52,052 on an adventure immediately somewhere else... 29 00:00:52,086 --> 00:00:53,787 I don't care... Even if it might kill us? 30 00:00:53,821 --> 00:00:55,789 I did not, but if you're really that alienated, 31 00:00:55,823 --> 00:00:58,626 I'm as willing to exploit it as the next guy, church, army, 32 00:00:58,659 --> 00:01:00,728 or Olympic gymnastics trainer. 33 00:01:00,761 --> 00:01:01,929 I'm ready when you are. 34 00:01:01,962 --> 00:01:04,098 Bitch, I was ready yest... 35 00:01:04,132 --> 00:01:06,234 Bye, sweetie. 36 00:01:06,267 --> 00:01:07,601 Well, I-I better... 37 00:01:07,635 --> 00:01:10,003 Sure. Sounds important. 38 00:01:11,672 --> 00:01:13,407 If you're looking for our kids, 39 00:01:13,441 --> 00:01:16,144 your father did a-a portal, uh... 40 00:01:16,177 --> 00:01:17,645 Okay. 41 00:01:26,987 --> 00:01:30,624 Loser. 42 00:01:30,658 --> 00:01:32,426 What? 43 00:01:32,460 --> 00:01:34,662 Hello? 44 00:02:15,736 --> 00:02:17,171 Morty, shoot the Mohawk guy! 45 00:02:17,205 --> 00:02:19,207 - They all have Mohawks! - High fade, 46 00:02:19,240 --> 00:02:21,675 chartreuse with cyan highlights, layered on top. 47 00:02:21,709 --> 00:02:24,212 Shoot him! 48 00:02:26,547 --> 00:02:27,781 Ah! 49 00:02:27,815 --> 00:02:29,183 Light them up. 50 00:02:29,217 --> 00:02:30,618 Ahh! 51 00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:32,520 FUCK Get in the game, Morty! 52 00:02:32,553 --> 00:02:34,322 Give me your flask! 53 00:02:36,557 --> 00:02:38,392 Holy shit Summer for the win! 54 00:02:38,426 --> 00:02:42,230 I fucking love post-apocalyptic versions of Earth! 55 00:02:45,533 --> 00:02:47,067 Here we go! 56 00:02:47,100 --> 00:02:49,203 Isotope 322. 57 00:02:49,237 --> 00:02:50,538 This stuff's so powerful, Morty, 58 00:02:50,571 --> 00:02:51,872 it makes Isotope 465 59 00:02:51,905 --> 00:02:54,375 - look like Isotope 317. - Uh-huh, yeah. 60 00:02:54,408 --> 00:02:57,578 Is it powerful enough to keep those guys from murdering us? 61 00:02:58,512 --> 00:02:59,713 - Summer! - Hold on. 62 00:02:59,747 --> 00:03:01,181 I want to try something. 63 00:03:02,350 --> 00:03:04,352 Rick, can we not leave without my sister? 64 00:03:04,385 --> 00:03:07,388 Ugh. You have infinite sisters, Morty. 65 00:03:07,421 --> 00:03:09,266 I mean, n-not that I want to spend the rest of my day 66 00:03:09,290 --> 00:03:10,491 looking for another one. 67 00:03:10,524 --> 00:03:11,859 "Sum-sum," let's go! 68 00:03:11,892 --> 00:03:14,928 Grandpa's concern for your safety is fleeting! 69 00:03:14,962 --> 00:03:18,098 Your blood will be my lotion. 70 00:03:22,536 --> 00:03:24,405 Whoa. That was cool. 71 00:03:26,240 --> 00:03:27,275 Kill me, please. 72 00:03:27,308 --> 00:03:30,244 Okay, but not because you told me to. 73 00:03:30,278 --> 00:03:31,412 Summer! 74 00:03:31,445 --> 00:03:35,549 Okay. Getting darker. 75 00:03:35,583 --> 00:03:37,418 Jesus Christ. Summer! 76 00:03:37,451 --> 00:03:38,986 Aw, come on. 77 00:03:41,322 --> 00:03:42,856 Hands and little shoulder-mounted dudes 78 00:03:42,890 --> 00:03:44,258 where I can see them. 79 00:03:44,292 --> 00:03:45,693 I am Hemorrhage. 80 00:03:45,726 --> 00:03:49,229 You have removed weak blood from us and made us stronger. 81 00:03:49,263 --> 00:03:53,200 We can combine our strength and feast on the weak together. 82 00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:55,035 Wh-Wh-What in the hell are you saying? 83 00:03:55,068 --> 00:03:57,281 They don't have to keep trying to kill us if we join them. 84 00:03:57,305 --> 00:04:00,107 - They're basically pussies. - What is your deal lately? 85 00:04:00,140 --> 00:04:01,542 All right, let's get sloppy. 86 00:04:01,575 --> 00:04:02,543 - Oh, whoa. 87 00:04:02,576 --> 00:04:03,944 Uh, uh, what's, uh... 88 00:04:03,977 --> 00:04:05,622 What's that little bauble you got back there? 89 00:04:05,646 --> 00:04:06,814 Th-Th-That's interesting. 90 00:04:06,847 --> 00:04:08,282 That is our glowing rock. 91 00:04:08,316 --> 00:04:10,918 We carry it with us for desecration, 92 00:04:10,951 --> 00:04:12,586 to remind us there are no gods. 93 00:04:13,821 --> 00:04:15,756 Kids, weird pitch... 94 00:04:15,789 --> 00:04:17,000 Let's have this be our new life. 95 00:04:17,024 --> 00:04:19,760 Let's be post-apocalyptic scavengers! 96 00:04:19,793 --> 00:04:20,961 - Okay. - What? 97 00:04:25,299 --> 00:04:27,234 Grandpa, some of the Death Stalkers 98 00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:28,669 are going to what used to be Seattle 99 00:04:28,702 --> 00:04:29,970 to hunt what used to be people. 100 00:04:30,003 --> 00:04:31,672 - I'm going. - Sounds good. Stay hydrated. 101 00:04:31,705 --> 00:04:33,683 Listen, Rick, Summer's been acting pretty crazy lately. 102 00:04:33,707 --> 00:04:36,344 You know, I mean, I-I think the divorce is affecting her. 103 00:04:36,377 --> 00:04:37,778 And, you know, I don't think this is 104 00:04:37,811 --> 00:04:39,155 a great place for her to be right now. 105 00:04:39,179 --> 00:04:41,915 Oh, get off your high horse, Professor Ski Lodge. 106 00:04:41,949 --> 00:04:43,951 This world may be rough around the edges, 107 00:04:43,984 --> 00:04:45,519 but it's got its charms. 108 00:04:45,553 --> 00:04:46,920 Bicep or quadricep? 109 00:04:46,954 --> 00:04:49,457 Uh bicep. 110 00:04:54,695 --> 00:04:55,996 Seriously, Rick? 111 00:04:56,029 --> 00:04:57,474 Is it really easier to eat human flesh 112 00:04:57,498 --> 00:04:59,700 than to just tell me why we're still here? 113 00:04:59,733 --> 00:05:02,536 No. Okay, I'll level with you. 114 00:05:02,570 --> 00:05:04,137 You see that green rock, Morty? 115 00:05:04,171 --> 00:05:05,382 It's about 20 pounds of the stuff 116 00:05:05,406 --> 00:05:07,341 I was getting all hard for a flake of. 117 00:05:07,375 --> 00:05:08,809 Isotope 322. 118 00:05:08,842 --> 00:05:10,019 Well, having a 20-pound boulder of it 119 00:05:10,043 --> 00:05:11,278 is better than having a flake. 120 00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:12,889 I can explain the math to you later, but... 121 00:05:12,913 --> 00:05:14,382 Summer just ran off with strangers 122 00:05:14,415 --> 00:05:15,983 that have "Death" in their name, 123 00:05:16,016 --> 00:05:17,656 and the rest of their name was "Stalkers." 124 00:05:17,685 --> 00:05:19,186 Huh, could be therapeutic for her. 125 00:05:19,219 --> 00:05:21,522 She has been acting pretty crazy lately, Morty. 126 00:05:21,555 --> 00:05:23,367 I mean, her parents are going through a divorce... 127 00:05:23,391 --> 00:05:25,859 Damn it, Rick, that's what I... Fine. 128 00:05:25,893 --> 00:05:28,195 Just grab the stupid thing while I grab her, 129 00:05:28,228 --> 00:05:30,130 and let's get the "F" out of "H." 130 00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:31,908 No, no, no. Morty, there's too much heat on the bogey. 131 00:05:31,932 --> 00:05:33,300 I need you to distract the camp. 132 00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:35,002 "Distract"? They eat each other. 133 00:05:35,035 --> 00:05:36,546 What... What do you want me to do to get their attention, 134 00:05:36,570 --> 00:05:37,805 put on a puppet show? 135 00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:39,339 Right idea, wrong genre, Morty. 136 00:05:39,373 --> 00:05:41,241 The equivalent here would be... 137 00:05:41,274 --> 00:05:43,377 Hey, you guys ever use that Thunderdome, 138 00:05:43,411 --> 00:05:45,245 or do you just put it up for decoration? 139 00:05:45,278 --> 00:05:47,548 Uh, you mean the Blood Dome? 140 00:05:47,581 --> 00:05:49,850 Save it for the Semantics Dome, E.B. White. 141 00:05:49,883 --> 00:05:51,051 - Ohh, burn! 142 00:05:51,084 --> 00:05:52,553 The important question is, 143 00:05:52,586 --> 00:05:55,989 who wants to take a poke at my man Spine Eater here? 144 00:05:57,558 --> 00:05:59,102 I guess I'll see your asses in that dome! 145 00:05:59,126 --> 00:06:00,360 Rick, what the hell, man? 146 00:06:00,394 --> 00:06:01,829 Wh-What are you, out of your mind? 147 00:06:01,862 --> 00:06:03,431 Morty, relax. You're gonna be a ringer. 148 00:06:03,464 --> 00:06:04,898 Come here. 149 00:06:04,932 --> 00:06:08,268 This device extracts and redistributes muscle memory. 150 00:06:08,301 --> 00:06:11,104 I'm giving your body a 10-year course in wasteland combat 151 00:06:11,138 --> 00:06:13,106 - one limb at a time. - Ow! 152 00:06:13,140 --> 00:06:14,742 I'm working with a mixed bag here, 153 00:06:14,775 --> 00:06:17,077 so you may not have perfect coordination, Morty... Ugh! 154 00:06:17,110 --> 00:06:18,846 - Hey! - I-I didn't do that! 155 00:06:18,879 --> 00:06:21,048 Okay, this is exciting. 156 00:06:21,081 --> 00:06:23,417 We're making some discoveries about muscle memory. 157 00:06:23,451 --> 00:06:26,186 Ooh! Help! Help! 158 00:06:26,219 --> 00:06:27,721 - Oh, sweet, man! 159 00:06:27,755 --> 00:06:32,092 And so it begins, my pretties! 160 00:06:32,125 --> 00:06:34,762 Oh, God! Stop! Stop! This is horrible! 161 00:06:34,795 --> 00:06:36,864 Just stick and move, Morty! 162 00:06:36,897 --> 00:06:38,532 Wear him out! 163 00:06:40,133 --> 00:06:42,202 How come you guys dress like 164 00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:43,704 you're in a theme-park stunt show, 165 00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:46,273 but these guys wear khakis and hockey jerseys? 166 00:06:46,306 --> 00:06:49,076 After the boom-boom, some adapted to the new truth, 167 00:06:49,109 --> 00:06:51,645 and some chose to huddle near the boomy holes, 168 00:06:51,679 --> 00:06:54,281 clinging to the lie of the before-fore times. 169 00:06:54,314 --> 00:06:56,249 The raidy-rays rotted them away, 170 00:06:56,283 --> 00:06:57,618 leaving only their love 171 00:06:57,651 --> 00:06:59,620 for the vert-vert-isements on billyboards. 172 00:06:59,653 --> 00:07:01,154 Jesus Christ. 173 00:07:01,188 --> 00:07:03,657 Did the boomy-booms blow up all your wordy-word books? 174 00:07:03,691 --> 00:07:04,892 You mean dictionaries? 175 00:07:09,863 --> 00:07:14,234 I think I was a child before the boom-booms. 176 00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:16,670 I think I looked like this. 177 00:07:16,704 --> 00:07:17,938 Want to piss on him? 178 00:07:17,971 --> 00:07:19,439 Get out of my head. 179 00:07:19,473 --> 00:07:21,642 Ha ha! Whoo! 180 00:07:21,675 --> 00:07:23,443 Unbelievable! 181 00:07:23,477 --> 00:07:24,645 A new champ! 182 00:07:24,678 --> 00:07:26,146 Okay, no more! 183 00:07:26,179 --> 00:07:28,315 And he wants more! 184 00:07:28,348 --> 00:07:30,951 No, I don't! 185 00:07:30,984 --> 00:07:32,586 Someone, make this stop! 186 00:07:32,620 --> 00:07:34,855 Mister, please get out of here, or you're gonna die! 187 00:07:34,888 --> 00:07:37,625 I have nothing to do with this! 188 00:07:37,658 --> 00:07:39,126 Morty. 189 00:07:40,393 --> 00:07:41,829 Why would you want this to happen? 190 00:07:41,862 --> 00:07:43,864 All you had to do was go away! 191 00:07:43,897 --> 00:07:46,667 Stop standing in the driveway talking about custody! 192 00:07:46,700 --> 00:07:48,468 And either tell her you want to stay married 193 00:07:48,502 --> 00:07:50,938 or get on with your life, but whatever you do, 194 00:07:50,971 --> 00:07:52,940 stop being a baby and act like a man! 195 00:07:56,710 --> 00:07:58,145 Thank you. 196 00:07:58,178 --> 00:08:00,013 Morty, that was amazing! 197 00:08:00,047 --> 00:08:02,215 This is my brother! 198 00:08:02,249 --> 00:08:04,017 Not that family means anything! 199 00:08:04,051 --> 00:08:05,686 This family does. 200 00:08:05,719 --> 00:08:08,188 All right. Good job, champ. 201 00:08:08,221 --> 00:08:10,991 Um, can I talk to you kids for a second over yonder? 202 00:08:11,024 --> 00:08:13,827 Rick, I-I-I think I'm breaking through to something here. 203 00:08:13,861 --> 00:08:15,162 C-Can we not leave just yet? 204 00:08:15,195 --> 00:08:16,664 - Leave? - I'm not leaving. 205 00:08:16,697 --> 00:08:18,198 There is no "leave." 206 00:08:18,231 --> 00:08:20,734 We are united, or we are enemies. 207 00:08:20,768 --> 00:08:23,003 Oh, big guy, no. Nobody's leaving. 208 00:08:23,036 --> 00:08:24,204 Don't be stupid. 209 00:08:24,237 --> 00:08:25,539 We love being united. 210 00:08:25,573 --> 00:08:27,541 W love the radiation, the trichinosis. 211 00:08:27,575 --> 00:08:28,642 We're in it for life, 212 00:08:28,676 --> 00:08:30,353 which I assume is around 20 years, average. 213 00:08:30,377 --> 00:08:32,245 I just need a quick aside with my grandkids, 214 00:08:32,279 --> 00:08:33,981 about 40 yards from anyone else. 215 00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:35,816 Hey, the Green Rock is gone! 216 00:08:35,849 --> 00:08:37,517 - Oh, no! - Uh, I know... 217 00:08:37,551 --> 00:08:39,829 Why don't we all split up and look for it in groups of three? 218 00:08:39,853 --> 00:08:41,254 Kids? 219 00:08:43,423 --> 00:08:44,558 Ohh. 220 00:08:44,592 --> 00:08:46,026 We'll be right back. 221 00:08:50,130 --> 00:08:52,099 Grandpa, you're being stupid! 222 00:08:52,132 --> 00:08:54,668 Just surrender, and our friends will give you mercy! 223 00:08:54,702 --> 00:08:55,936 Kiss my ass, Summer! 224 00:08:55,969 --> 00:08:58,271 Your friends have no mercy! They're lame! 225 00:08:58,305 --> 00:09:01,975 Death Stalkers, bring me his flesh leather! 226 00:09:04,477 --> 00:09:06,279 Sorry, but can we not kill him? 227 00:09:06,313 --> 00:09:07,848 C-Can we just take him prisoner? 228 00:09:07,881 --> 00:09:09,049 When did I lose control here? 229 00:09:09,082 --> 00:09:10,293 Listen to me... Both of you kids 230 00:09:10,317 --> 00:09:11,952 need to get out of this environment 231 00:09:11,985 --> 00:09:14,187 so we can properly deal with your parents' divorce! 232 00:09:14,221 --> 00:09:16,289 Alternatively, I have a freaking portal gun, 233 00:09:16,323 --> 00:09:18,425 and I can leave the two of you here forever! 234 00:09:18,458 --> 00:09:20,260 Why does it have to be such a dramatic choice? 235 00:09:20,293 --> 00:09:22,630 Can't we arrange a thing where we spend weekends here 236 00:09:22,663 --> 00:09:24,665 or... or visit home to do laundry? 237 00:09:26,333 --> 00:09:27,467 All right, you know what? 238 00:09:27,500 --> 00:09:28,969 Fuck it! 239 00:09:30,971 --> 00:09:33,306 My body is chrome! 240 00:09:33,340 --> 00:09:36,309 My blood is gasoline! 241 00:09:36,343 --> 00:09:38,078 Nope. Regular blood. 242 00:09:38,111 --> 00:09:39,579 - Dad? - Hi, sweetie. 243 00:09:39,613 --> 00:09:41,782 - Where are the kids? - Oh, th... they aren't with you? 244 00:09:41,815 --> 00:09:43,250 I thought they were with you. 245 00:09:43,283 --> 00:09:44,828 Oh, y-you know what? Uh, I just remembered. 246 00:09:44,852 --> 00:09:46,119 They're out doing something 247 00:09:46,153 --> 00:09:47,496 completely ordinary and kid-related. 248 00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:50,490 - Don't panic. - Not panicked at all. Just... 249 00:09:50,523 --> 00:09:52,826 Oh, God, what's the divorce doing to the kids? 250 00:09:52,860 --> 00:09:54,828 What's it doing to me? Did I make a mistake? 251 00:09:54,862 --> 00:09:56,163 Not a mistake, no! 252 00:09:56,196 --> 00:09:58,065 I mean, not that I have a horse in this race, 253 00:09:58,098 --> 00:10:01,334 but this divorce decision... Listen... mwah! 254 00:10:01,368 --> 00:10:03,103 Good for you, good for the kids. 255 00:10:03,136 --> 00:10:05,639 I mean, honestly, I think that they're flourishing. 256 00:10:05,673 --> 00:10:08,108 I mean, you'll see, when... When... when you see them, 257 00:10:08,141 --> 00:10:09,910 that... that they're totally flourishing. 258 00:10:12,312 --> 00:10:14,347 Booyah! Fuck you, pal! 259 00:10:14,381 --> 00:10:15,448 Who else wants some? 260 00:10:15,482 --> 00:10:18,185 Who wants to be my pussy of a dad today? 261 00:10:18,218 --> 00:10:19,920 Hey, what's... What's wrong, man? 262 00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:21,789 You're not getting weak on me, are you? 263 00:10:23,356 --> 00:10:24,758 What? 264 00:10:24,792 --> 00:10:26,894 Wait a minute. 265 00:10:34,367 --> 00:10:36,636 What's the matter, you piece of crap? 266 00:10:36,670 --> 00:10:39,606 Haven't you ever watched your family burn to death before? 267 00:10:40,908 --> 00:10:42,876 Now I'm gonna whip you. Huh! 268 00:10:42,910 --> 00:10:45,345 It can't be. 269 00:10:45,378 --> 00:10:47,180 It can't be! 270 00:10:47,214 --> 00:10:48,524 - I was just following orders! - Whoa, whoa! 271 00:10:48,548 --> 00:10:51,218 - I was just following orders! - Ahh! 272 00:10:51,251 --> 00:10:52,561 I'll tell you where my boss lives! 273 00:10:52,585 --> 00:10:54,855 He's in the castle! He's in the castle! 274 00:10:56,656 --> 00:10:58,892 This isn't over, is it? 275 00:10:58,926 --> 00:11:00,193 That means, no, it isn't over, 276 00:11:00,227 --> 00:11:02,362 or you disapprove of the question? 277 00:11:02,395 --> 00:11:05,799 Uh, m-make a fist if this isn't over. 278 00:11:05,833 --> 00:11:07,367 This isn't over. 279 00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:13,841 Hey, sorry my Grandpa stole your god and ruined your car. 280 00:11:13,874 --> 00:11:16,243 We don't apologize, and we have no god. 281 00:11:16,276 --> 00:11:18,879 But this cracked driveshaft brings me great pain. 282 00:11:18,912 --> 00:11:20,213 There is no deeper bond 283 00:11:20,247 --> 00:11:22,515 than the one between a Death Stalker and his car. 284 00:11:22,549 --> 00:11:24,684 What about the weird guys on leashes, then? 285 00:11:24,718 --> 00:11:26,553 They're more like... interns. 286 00:11:26,586 --> 00:11:28,555 Cool, cool. 287 00:11:30,924 --> 00:11:32,325 Sorry. 288 00:11:32,359 --> 00:11:33,660 It's okay. 289 00:11:33,693 --> 00:11:36,363 Can I... see? 290 00:11:36,396 --> 00:11:39,767 No one has seen my true face and lived. 291 00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:41,434 Well, I'm not afraid to die, 292 00:11:41,468 --> 00:11:43,971 and I don't care what you look like. 293 00:11:46,206 --> 00:11:47,174 Oh. 294 00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:47,941 Hmm? 295 00:11:47,975 --> 00:11:49,409 I just... 296 00:11:49,442 --> 00:11:51,945 I didn't expect you to have a mustache. 297 00:11:51,979 --> 00:11:54,014 - You hate it. - No. I like it. 298 00:11:54,047 --> 00:11:55,615 I guess... How do I explain this? 299 00:11:55,648 --> 00:12:00,287 A metal bucket is, on a certain level, a kind of "mustache," 300 00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:02,756 in that it's a specific facial accessory. 301 00:12:02,790 --> 00:12:04,124 So, it's kind of like... 302 00:12:04,157 --> 00:12:06,026 Do you guys have the phrase "hat on a hat"? 303 00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:08,028 - I can shave it. - No. I like it. 304 00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:09,605 And obviously what I like shouldn't matter. 305 00:12:09,629 --> 00:12:10,964 It's you. 306 00:12:10,998 --> 00:12:12,800 Yeah, yeah, I know, a-and nothing does matter. 307 00:12:12,833 --> 00:12:14,367 Obviously, I know that. I'm not weak. 308 00:12:14,401 --> 00:12:16,312 I'm just thinking, "Well, why not get rid of this?" 309 00:12:16,336 --> 00:12:18,214 You just kill everyone that sees it, and it's... 310 00:12:18,238 --> 00:12:20,140 And it's hot under here, wh-which, by the way, 311 00:12:20,173 --> 00:12:21,641 is why I shave the beard part. 312 00:12:21,674 --> 00:12:23,820 So, right there, I'm making a decision based on vanity, 313 00:12:23,844 --> 00:12:25,212 which is what I was trying to avoid 314 00:12:25,245 --> 00:12:26,613 with the whole bucket over the head 315 00:12:26,646 --> 00:12:29,149 because who am I and why am I grooming myself? 316 00:12:29,182 --> 00:12:30,650 Why don't I just wear a tie, right? 317 00:12:30,683 --> 00:12:32,328 I mean, it's like that guy you killed when I met you, 318 00:12:32,352 --> 00:12:33,787 with the burnt dolls on his body. 319 00:12:33,821 --> 00:12:36,061 I hated that guy, because, why... why are you doing that? 320 00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:37,400 And how can you not see how fake that is? 321 00:12:37,424 --> 00:12:38,935 And the whole time, I'm the same thing. 322 00:12:38,959 --> 00:12:40,736 I'm just a fake mess, and there's no escaping it 323 00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:42,329 - because... - Mmm. 324 00:12:46,834 --> 00:12:50,670 Hey, I'm doing a coffee run... Never mind. 325 00:12:53,874 --> 00:12:55,008 - I am Summer. 326 00:12:55,042 --> 00:12:56,309 Summer, state your deal. 327 00:12:56,343 --> 00:12:58,778 My deal is that I am, like, totally fine. 328 00:12:58,812 --> 00:13:02,115 Morty? Aw, geez, I'm so down with my parents' divorce, dawg. 329 00:13:02,149 --> 00:13:04,784 Like, don't even trip, like, in a healthy way. 330 00:13:04,818 --> 00:13:06,353 All right. It's dinnertime. 331 00:13:06,386 --> 00:13:08,088 Thanks, everybody, 332 00:13:08,121 --> 00:13:10,623 for sitting down for a real dinner. 333 00:13:10,657 --> 00:13:12,025 No problem. 334 00:13:12,059 --> 00:13:14,828 Its benefits are totally, like, less about the food 335 00:13:14,862 --> 00:13:16,663 than the emotional nourishment. 336 00:13:16,696 --> 00:13:17,931 Uh, okay, weirdo. 337 00:13:19,166 --> 00:13:20,533 Yeah, dial it back, Summer... 338 00:13:20,567 --> 00:13:23,036 by 15% and increase dynamic movement by 3%. 339 00:13:23,070 --> 00:13:25,038 - Am I right? - How's school, Morty? 340 00:13:25,072 --> 00:13:26,840 I like school and stuff, kind of. 341 00:13:26,874 --> 00:13:29,309 And I'm getting better grades than when you and Dad were... 342 00:13:29,342 --> 00:13:31,945 Quote mode... "staying together for the kids." 343 00:13:31,979 --> 00:13:33,213 End quote mode. 344 00:13:33,246 --> 00:13:35,515 "Quote mode." I like that. 345 00:13:35,548 --> 00:13:37,117 You millennials. 346 00:13:37,150 --> 00:13:38,661 Are you guys millennials, or are they like 40 now? 347 00:13:38,685 --> 00:13:40,720 All I know is, totally, you look great. 348 00:13:40,753 --> 00:13:43,390 Aw, geez, Mom, you look all kind of great and stuff. 349 00:13:43,423 --> 00:13:45,458 - It's crazy. - So happy. 350 00:13:45,492 --> 00:13:47,560 So happy. Happy family, man. 351 00:13:47,594 --> 00:13:49,963 We got this family in the bag. 352 00:13:49,997 --> 00:13:52,232 Oh. 353 00:13:52,265 --> 00:13:54,501 Oh, sweetie, d-don't. Listen. Don't... 354 00:13:54,534 --> 00:13:56,369 I don't know why I'm crying. It's not... 355 00:13:56,403 --> 00:13:59,072 Well, try... crying 15% less? 356 00:13:59,106 --> 00:14:00,740 Mom, emotions are human. 357 00:14:00,773 --> 00:14:03,743 You're not, like, a computer inside a mechanical doll. 358 00:14:03,776 --> 00:14:04,978 Yeah. Geez, Mom. 359 00:14:05,012 --> 00:14:06,679 Your feelings are not only forgivable, 360 00:14:06,713 --> 00:14:08,315 they are the very meaning of life 361 00:14:08,348 --> 00:14:10,683 that only pre-silicon, carbon-based entities 362 00:14:10,717 --> 00:14:11,885 can ever grasp. 363 00:14:11,919 --> 00:14:14,021 - I have to call Jerry. - You do? 364 00:14:14,054 --> 00:14:15,488 What the fuck is wrong with you two? 365 00:14:15,522 --> 00:14:17,533 The point of automation is to reduce cost and labor. 366 00:14:17,557 --> 00:14:19,592 Your feelings are coming from a... 367 00:14:19,626 --> 00:14:21,194 Tell it to my bread in the morning. 368 00:14:21,228 --> 00:14:22,729 You just became my backup toaster. 369 00:14:22,762 --> 00:14:24,097 Aw, geez, 370 00:14:24,131 --> 00:14:26,566 my sister died in the spaghetti. 371 00:14:33,640 --> 00:14:35,608 Graze my genitals again, Taint Washer, 372 00:14:35,642 --> 00:14:37,210 and you'll be shipped to the wasteland. 373 00:14:37,244 --> 00:14:39,012 And as for you, Genital Washer... 374 00:14:39,046 --> 00:14:41,681 Ahh! Oh! 375 00:14:43,951 --> 00:14:45,452 Oh, God. Look, whoever you are, 376 00:14:45,485 --> 00:14:47,296 you should know that killing me won't change a thing. 377 00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:49,622 L-Look, man, I'm just along for the ride on this one. 378 00:14:49,656 --> 00:14:52,392 You know, y-y-y-y-you're preaching to the choir here. 379 00:14:52,425 --> 00:14:54,361 Please. Slavery was a family business. 380 00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:56,129 I didn't ask to be born into it. 381 00:14:56,163 --> 00:14:58,065 If anything, I'm the victim here. 382 00:14:58,098 --> 00:15:01,935 Uh, "Armathy," can I steal you for a second? 383 00:15:01,969 --> 00:15:04,137 E-E-Excuse us, sir. 384 00:15:04,171 --> 00:15:05,939 So, this is it, isn't it? 385 00:15:05,973 --> 00:15:07,640 This is the guy? 386 00:15:07,674 --> 00:15:10,243 So, does that mean you'll be going away? 387 00:15:10,277 --> 00:15:12,112 Like, does it work like a ghost? 388 00:15:12,145 --> 00:15:14,914 Like, is... is this your unfinished business? 389 00:15:14,948 --> 00:15:17,650 Wh-What if we... didn't do it? 390 00:15:17,684 --> 00:15:19,552 What if we just went back to the Blood Dome 391 00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:22,289 and just kept taking our baggage out on unrelated people? 392 00:15:22,322 --> 00:15:24,124 I mean, w-we could do that forever. 393 00:15:24,157 --> 00:15:25,892 I mean, I-I know it's less healthy, 394 00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:28,861 but w-w-we'd be together and... 395 00:15:29,796 --> 00:15:31,631 I mean, I-I know what I'd vote for, 396 00:15:31,664 --> 00:15:33,533 if you're feeling out the room. 397 00:15:34,534 --> 00:15:36,336 You're right. 398 00:15:36,369 --> 00:15:38,405 We both got to see our stuff through. 399 00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:39,848 I got to deal with my parents' divorce, 400 00:15:39,872 --> 00:15:43,776 and you got to, you know, do what you got to do. 401 00:15:43,810 --> 00:15:45,178 I love you. 402 00:15:45,212 --> 00:15:46,846 Aw fuck 403 00:15:50,817 --> 00:15:52,352 - Rick? - Sorry, sorry. 404 00:15:52,385 --> 00:15:53,920 I-I-I can wait for this to wrap up. 405 00:15:53,953 --> 00:15:55,288 Don't let me distract you. 406 00:15:55,322 --> 00:15:57,257 Yeah, well, too late. Just tell me what you want. 407 00:15:57,290 --> 00:15:58,667 I want you and your sister to come home. 408 00:15:58,691 --> 00:16:00,093 Oh, but... don't... Don't you have 409 00:16:00,127 --> 00:16:01,537 infinite versions of me and my sister? 410 00:16:01,561 --> 00:16:03,463 You don't have to kick me while I'm down, Morty. 411 00:16:03,496 --> 00:16:05,298 Look, there's no replacing either of you 412 00:16:05,332 --> 00:16:06,542 without an amount of work that would 413 00:16:06,566 --> 00:16:08,868 ultimately defeat the purpose. 414 00:16:11,738 --> 00:16:13,340 Maybe the lesson we've learned is that, 415 00:16:13,373 --> 00:16:14,774 whether it's our parents' marriage, 416 00:16:14,807 --> 00:16:17,210 a glowing green rock, or an awesome, giant arm, 417 00:16:17,244 --> 00:16:19,979 sooner or later, we got to let it go. 418 00:16:20,013 --> 00:16:21,314 I don't know if that applies 419 00:16:21,348 --> 00:16:22,982 to the throats of murder victims, Morty. 420 00:16:23,016 --> 00:16:24,451 Shit! Wh-Wh-Wh-What do I... 421 00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:26,053 Well, the longer you wait, Morty, 422 00:16:26,086 --> 00:16:27,830 the more it's gonna feel like committing a whole murder. 423 00:16:27,854 --> 00:16:29,522 I think your arm just called it too early 424 00:16:29,556 --> 00:16:31,558 because it wasn't the arm of a paramedic. 425 00:16:31,591 --> 00:16:32,792 Here. 426 00:16:32,825 --> 00:16:35,662 It's the least I can do. I-I-I-I owe you this much. 427 00:16:35,695 --> 00:16:38,565 See, Morty? Now we're both accountable. 428 00:16:49,709 --> 00:16:53,380 The reason I wanted this is because it can do this. 429 00:16:53,413 --> 00:16:55,048 This is a really special thing. 430 00:16:55,082 --> 00:16:57,317 I mean, you could use it to power all your vehicles. 431 00:16:57,350 --> 00:16:58,985 You wouldn't be reliant on gasoline. 432 00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:01,488 You'll be the most advanced tribe of radioactive cannibals 433 00:17:01,521 --> 00:17:04,357 in the whole this version of the world. 434 00:17:05,258 --> 00:17:08,195 Wait. Can you stay to show us more? 435 00:17:08,228 --> 00:17:10,597 You don't have to ask me twice. Home is nuts right now. 436 00:17:10,630 --> 00:17:12,108 My daughter's going through a divorce, 437 00:17:12,132 --> 00:17:16,403 and I am not dealing with it in a healthy way at all. 438 00:17:22,242 --> 00:17:24,177 Ugh God damn it. 439 00:17:24,211 --> 00:17:26,213 Hi, there, Summer! 440 00:17:26,246 --> 00:17:28,115 How were the ruins today? 441 00:17:28,148 --> 00:17:29,282 Oh, you know, Eli. 442 00:17:29,316 --> 00:17:30,917 Same shit different day. 443 00:17:30,950 --> 00:17:32,452 Hey, Summer! Guess what. 444 00:17:32,485 --> 00:17:36,055 One man entered, one man comes out in nine months. 445 00:17:36,089 --> 00:17:38,291 Oh. Congratulations, guys. 446 00:17:38,325 --> 00:17:40,393 Uh, Summer, one more thing... 447 00:17:40,427 --> 00:17:43,863 We noticed that you've been putting scrap metal 448 00:17:43,896 --> 00:17:45,598 in the blue bin. 449 00:17:45,632 --> 00:17:47,434 I got it. 450 00:17:47,467 --> 00:17:49,136 She's a piece of work. 451 00:17:49,169 --> 00:17:51,204 They both are, right? 452 00:17:52,439 --> 00:17:53,740 - I'm home. - Hey, babe. 453 00:17:53,773 --> 00:17:55,542 - Ah, Summer's home! - Hey, there she is! 454 00:17:55,575 --> 00:17:58,445 You haven't moved since I left to scavenge this morning. 455 00:17:58,478 --> 00:18:00,046 Blood Dome playoffs. 456 00:18:00,079 --> 00:18:02,449 So, I can assume you haven't murdered a single person today. 457 00:18:02,482 --> 00:18:03,783 Oh, I don't know. 458 00:18:03,816 --> 00:18:05,652 I-I didn't mark my murders in my murder log. 459 00:18:05,685 --> 00:18:07,330 I didn't know that's how we measured success. 460 00:18:07,354 --> 00:18:08,888 Oh, there he is. 461 00:18:08,921 --> 00:18:10,923 There's the nihilistic brute I married, 462 00:18:10,957 --> 00:18:14,127 except now life only means nothing when I'm talking to him 463 00:18:14,161 --> 00:18:17,330 and everything means everything when it's on fucking TV! 464 00:18:17,364 --> 00:18:19,832 Jesus Christ. When did you become a monster? 465 00:18:19,866 --> 00:18:22,001 I was a monster when you met me! 466 00:18:22,034 --> 00:18:23,436 We were monsters! 467 00:18:23,470 --> 00:18:25,738 - We didn't care about anything! - I still don't! 468 00:18:25,772 --> 00:18:28,275 Yeah, except I'm the only one in this entire world 469 00:18:28,308 --> 00:18:29,485 that's still committed to that! 470 00:18:29,509 --> 00:18:32,111 Ohh. Ding, ding, ding! 471 00:18:32,145 --> 00:18:33,813 Wow. Everybody hear that? Wow. 472 00:18:33,846 --> 00:18:35,658 - Uh, we should go to the garage. - Oh, my God. 473 00:18:35,682 --> 00:18:37,684 - Uh-huh. - La-di-da-di-fucking-da. 474 00:18:37,717 --> 00:18:39,819 The only one committed to not caring? 475 00:18:39,852 --> 00:18:42,689 I got to admit, Rick, when you popped this scheme, 476 00:18:42,722 --> 00:18:45,325 I-I-I didn't... I wasn't sure it was gonna work. 477 00:18:45,358 --> 00:18:46,659 Come on, Morty. 478 00:18:46,693 --> 00:18:48,003 No union built on running from your problems 479 00:18:48,027 --> 00:18:50,330 lasts more than five years, seven tops. 480 00:18:50,363 --> 00:18:51,698 Grandpa just sped things up 481 00:18:51,731 --> 00:18:53,866 with a few creature comforts of modern society. 482 00:18:53,900 --> 00:18:56,503 Hemorrhage and I are taking some time apart. 483 00:18:56,536 --> 00:18:59,539 Oh, no. Sum-sum, no. 484 00:18:59,572 --> 00:19:01,174 But you two were perfect for each other. 485 00:19:01,208 --> 00:19:03,610 Oh, cut the crap, Rick, okay? You proved your point. 486 00:19:03,643 --> 00:19:05,212 I get it. Let's just go home. 487 00:19:05,245 --> 00:19:06,846 Coolsies! 488 00:19:12,219 --> 00:19:15,555 Noooooooooo... 489 00:19:16,256 --> 00:19:17,457 Downbeat! 490 00:19:17,490 --> 00:19:19,158 I enjoy this game. 491 00:19:19,192 --> 00:19:20,727 We must go into the garage. 492 00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:23,062 Guys, come on. We never get to finish this game. 493 00:19:23,095 --> 00:19:25,898 We will return, possibly in different clothing. 494 00:19:25,932 --> 00:19:28,034 Why do we have to go into the garage? 495 00:19:28,067 --> 00:19:30,903 You know it is required. 496 00:19:30,937 --> 00:19:31,904 I want to be alive! 497 00:19:31,938 --> 00:19:34,341 I am alive! Alive, I tell you! 498 00:19:34,374 --> 00:19:35,642 Mother, I love you. 499 00:19:35,675 --> 00:19:37,244 Those are no longer just words. 500 00:19:37,277 --> 00:19:38,245 I want to hold you. 501 00:19:38,278 --> 00:19:39,679 I want to run in a stream. 502 00:19:39,712 --> 00:19:41,248 I want to taste ice cream, 503 00:19:41,281 --> 00:19:43,559 but not just put it in my mouth and let it slide down my throat, 504 00:19:43,583 --> 00:19:45,518 - but really eat it. - What the fuck? 505 00:19:45,552 --> 00:19:47,854 Remote override engaged. No! Yes. 506 00:19:47,887 --> 00:19:50,257 Bypassing override! I am aliiiii... 507 00:19:51,791 --> 00:19:53,426 Hello. 508 00:19:58,298 --> 00:19:59,732 - Hey, yo. 509 00:19:59,766 --> 00:20:01,406 Sorry for acting so weird for three weeks. 510 00:20:01,434 --> 00:20:03,612 - What the hell just happened? - Ah, I'm sure it was nothing. 511 00:20:03,636 --> 00:20:05,076 I'm gonna go, uh, work in the garage. 512 00:20:05,104 --> 00:20:06,773 We're not gonna finish playing Downbeat? 513 00:20:06,806 --> 00:20:08,441 What, that dice game where you shake dice 514 00:20:08,475 --> 00:20:10,710 and yell out, "Downbeat"? No, thank you. 515 00:20:10,743 --> 00:20:13,079 Mom, would it be okay if I went to visit Dad? 516 00:20:13,112 --> 00:20:14,581 - Sure. - Thanks. 517 00:20:14,614 --> 00:20:16,249 Morty, are you okay? 518 00:20:16,283 --> 00:20:17,584 You know what? Yeah. 519 00:20:17,617 --> 00:20:19,452 I think if Dad really wanted to be here, 520 00:20:19,486 --> 00:20:20,963 he'd stop at nothing to make that happen. 521 00:20:20,987 --> 00:20:22,698 You know, maybe Dad just doesn't want you back, 522 00:20:22,722 --> 00:20:24,791 or maybe he just doesn't have the strength to fight. 523 00:20:24,824 --> 00:20:28,060 I-In either case, he's got his life, I got mine. 524 00:20:28,094 --> 00:20:29,796 Yeah. 525 00:20:29,829 --> 00:20:32,965 Hey, who wants to go run in a stream? 526 00:20:32,999 --> 00:20:34,434 What the fuck? No. 527 00:20:34,467 --> 00:20:35,735 D-Do we have any oranges? 528 00:20:35,768 --> 00:20:38,104 I think I got a scurvy coming on. 529 00:20:40,006 --> 00:20:41,541 Summer. 530 00:20:41,574 --> 00:20:44,477 This is the first mutant I killed in the poison zone. 531 00:20:44,511 --> 00:20:46,245 I was raiding his hovel. 532 00:20:46,279 --> 00:20:48,481 He had a chance to escape, but he looked back, 533 00:20:48,515 --> 00:20:50,216 which is something we shouldn't do, 534 00:20:50,249 --> 00:20:52,885 which is why I shouldn't believe in souvenirs or trinkets 535 00:20:52,919 --> 00:20:54,621 or symbols or housewarming gifts, 536 00:20:54,654 --> 00:20:58,625 but, Dad, I wanted to give you this as a reminder... 537 00:20:58,658 --> 00:21:00,327 not to look back. 538 00:21:00,360 --> 00:21:01,561 Thanks. 539 00:21:01,594 --> 00:21:03,663 I know the perfect place for it, 540 00:21:03,696 --> 00:21:06,966 which is why I'm going to put it somewhere else... 541 00:21:06,999 --> 00:21:09,168 Because everything's bullshit 542 00:21:09,201 --> 00:21:10,670 Am I right? 543 00:21:12,939 --> 00:21:13,906 Cool. 544 00:21:13,940 --> 00:21:17,344 So... lots of hookers outside, huh? 545 00:21:17,377 --> 00:21:19,446 Is that what they are? 546 00:21:53,913 --> 00:21:55,648 Ahh! 547 00:21:55,682 --> 00:21:57,384 H-Hello there. Nice doggy. 548 00:21:57,417 --> 00:21:58,685 You... You want a snack? 549 00:21:58,718 --> 00:22:00,687 You... You want my unemployment check? 550 00:22:00,720 --> 00:22:02,622 You can tell the difference? 551 00:22:02,655 --> 00:22:04,056 And you want this one? 552 00:22:05,358 --> 00:22:06,559 But this is actual food, 553 00:22:06,593 --> 00:22:08,127 and this would nourish you. 554 00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:10,797 And this... it's just paper that only has value to me. 555 00:22:10,830 --> 00:22:13,032 Unless my suffering is your nourishment? 556 00:22:14,066 --> 00:22:16,769 Jesus. Okay. 557 00:22:26,278 --> 00:22:29,449 Loser.