1
00:00:02,002 --> 00:00:04,572
Morty?

2
00:00:04,605 --> 00:00:06,240
- Morty!
- Rick?

3
00:00:06,274 --> 00:00:08,709
- Hey, Morty?
- Rick?

4
00:00:08,742 --> 00:00:11,412
Are you far away,
or are you inside something?

5
00:00:11,445 --> 00:00:13,081
Is this a camera?

6
00:00:13,114 --> 00:00:14,648
Is everything a camera?

7
00:00:14,682 --> 00:00:16,317
Morty, the garage, Morty.

8
00:00:16,350 --> 00:00:18,319
Come to the garage!

9
00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:19,387
Morty?

10
00:00:19,420 --> 00:00:21,021
Rick?
W-where are you?

11
00:00:21,055 --> 00:00:22,423
On my work bench, Morty.

12
00:00:22,456 --> 00:00:24,201
Are you invisible and you're
gonna, like, fart on me?

13
00:00:24,225 --> 00:00:25,226
Flip the pickle over.

14
00:00:25,259 --> 00:00:26,727
What, I'm gonna touch it,

15
00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:28,572
and you're gonna tell me it's
an alien dick or something.

16
00:00:28,596 --> 00:00:30,098
Come on, flip the pickle, Morty.

17
00:00:30,131 --> 00:00:33,033
You're not gonna regret it.
The payoff is huge.

18
00:00:33,067 --> 00:00:35,236
I turned myself
into a pickle, Morty!

19
00:00:35,269 --> 00:00:37,438
Boom! Big reveal...
I'm a pickle.

20
00:00:37,471 --> 00:00:38,706
What do you think about that?

21
00:00:38,739 --> 00:00:40,574
I turned myself into a pickle!

22
00:00:40,608 --> 00:00:42,610
W-what are you just
staring at me for, bro.

23
00:00:42,643 --> 00:00:44,178
I turned myself
into a pickle, Morty!

24
00:00:44,212 --> 00:00:45,513
And?
And?

25
00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:47,115
What more do you want
tacked on to this?

26
00:00:47,148 --> 00:00:49,883
I turned myself into a pickle,
and 9/11 was an inside job.

27
00:00:49,917 --> 00:00:51,519
Was it?
Who cares, Morty?

28
00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:53,130
Global acts of terrorism
happen every day.

29
00:00:53,154 --> 00:00:55,194
Uh, here's something
that's never happened before...

30
00:00:55,223 --> 00:00:56,557
I'm a pickle.

31
00:00:56,590 --> 00:00:58,959
I'm Pickle Rick!

32
00:01:34,695 --> 00:01:37,565
Are you going to,
I mean, you know,

33
00:01:37,598 --> 00:01:39,500
is this the first part
of some magic trick?

34
00:01:39,533 --> 00:01:41,669
I don't do magic,
Morty, I do science.

35
00:01:41,702 --> 00:01:43,771
One takes brains, the other
takes dark eye liner.

36
00:01:43,804 --> 00:01:45,773
Well, can you move?
Can you fly?

37
00:01:45,806 --> 00:01:47,184
I wouldn't be much
of a pickle if I could.

38
00:01:47,208 --> 00:01:50,344
All right, well, do pickles
live forever or...

39
00:01:50,378 --> 00:01:53,514
Morty, stop digging for hidden
layers and just be impressed.

40
00:01:53,547 --> 00:01:55,015
I'm a pickle.
I-I'm just trying

41
00:01:55,048 --> 00:01:56,750
to figure out
why you would do this...

42
00:01:56,784 --> 00:01:58,152
Why anyone would do this.

43
00:01:58,186 --> 00:02:00,754
The reason anyone would
do this is, if they could,

44
00:02:00,788 --> 00:02:02,856
which they can't,
would be because they could,

45
00:02:02,890 --> 00:02:04,358
which they can't.

46
00:02:04,392 --> 00:02:06,102
Morty, we have to get going,
or we're gonna be late.

47
00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:07,828
Where's your grandpa?
Right here, sweetie.

48
00:02:07,861 --> 00:02:09,697
I'm a pickle!
What?

49
00:02:09,730 --> 00:02:10,964
Why would you... ugh!

50
00:02:10,998 --> 00:02:12,542
Look, we're running late.
We have to go.

51
00:02:12,566 --> 00:02:13,701
Where are you guys going?

52
00:02:13,734 --> 00:02:16,103
We have an appointment downtown

53
00:02:16,136 --> 00:02:19,207
that was set a week ago
and agreed upon by everyone,

54
00:02:19,240 --> 00:02:20,541
including you.

55
00:02:20,574 --> 00:02:23,311
Oh, my God. Beth, oh,
it totally slipped my mind.

56
00:02:23,344 --> 00:02:25,546
Geez, oh, man.
I'm a pickle.

57
00:02:25,579 --> 00:02:27,315
I mean, I don't know
if I can... ooh, geez.

58
00:02:27,348 --> 00:02:30,484
Rick, did you do this on purpose
to get out of family counseling?

59
00:02:30,518 --> 00:02:31,952
- Morty!
- It's okay, Beth.

60
00:02:31,985 --> 00:02:33,387
I understand Morty's suspicion.

61
00:02:33,421 --> 00:02:34,822
I've misled him before.

62
00:02:34,855 --> 00:02:37,958
Morty, turn me so we're
making eye contact.

63
00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:41,395
Morty, I assure you,
I would never find a way

64
00:02:41,429 --> 00:02:43,531
to get out of family therapy.

65
00:02:43,564 --> 00:02:45,366
I hope my lack
of fingers doesn't prevent

66
00:02:45,399 --> 00:02:46,734
the perception of my air quotes.

67
00:02:46,767 --> 00:02:48,578
Can't you just turn yourself
back into a human?

68
00:02:48,602 --> 00:02:49,670
Great question, Summer.

69
00:02:49,703 --> 00:02:50,904
The unfortunate answer is

70
00:02:50,938 --> 00:02:52,673
I did this to challenge myself.

71
00:02:52,706 --> 00:02:54,242
And it could take
hours or even days

72
00:02:54,275 --> 00:02:56,744
before I'm able to figure out
how to return to human form.

73
00:02:56,777 --> 00:02:58,679
But, I mean, you know,
your mom could put me

74
00:02:58,712 --> 00:03:00,281
in a purse or a pocket,
you know,

75
00:03:00,314 --> 00:03:01,425
if she really needs me to go.

76
00:03:01,449 --> 00:03:03,651
Nobody needs anything.
Okay, it's fine.

77
00:03:03,684 --> 00:03:05,094
I mean, you should just
stay here and figure out

78
00:03:05,118 --> 00:03:06,754
how to stop being
a pickle, okay?

79
00:03:06,787 --> 00:03:09,723
Hey, Rick, why is there
a syringe of mysterious fluid

80
00:03:09,757 --> 00:03:11,158
hanging directly over you?

81
00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:13,727
Also, why is the string
attached to it running through

82
00:03:13,761 --> 00:03:15,529
a pair of scissors
attached to a timer?

83
00:03:15,563 --> 00:03:17,731
And why is the time set
to 10 minutes from now,

84
00:03:17,765 --> 00:03:21,101
exactly when we would
have left for therapy?

85
00:03:21,134 --> 00:03:23,371
Well, Morty, if you know
must know,

86
00:03:23,404 --> 00:03:25,839
the syringe is completely
unrelated to this discussion,

87
00:03:25,873 --> 00:03:28,108
and, therefore, it does not
warrant further explanation.

88
00:03:28,141 --> 00:03:30,944
Enough. Kids, it's time to go.
We don't want to be late.

89
00:03:30,978 --> 00:03:32,680
W-w-what are you
doing there, Beth?

90
00:03:32,713 --> 00:03:34,282
What are you doing there,
sweetie?

91
00:03:34,315 --> 00:03:36,092
Well, I mean, you don't
want to get pierced by a needle

92
00:03:36,116 --> 00:03:37,761
full of liquid unrelated
to your situation.

93
00:03:37,785 --> 00:03:38,786
How's that gonna help?

94
00:03:38,819 --> 00:03:39,920
Can't argue with that.

95
00:03:39,953 --> 00:03:41,054
Great.
We'll see you later.

96
00:03:41,088 --> 00:03:42,623
Hey, hey, be careful with that.

97
00:03:42,656 --> 00:03:43,957
It's for something else.

98
00:03:43,991 --> 00:03:45,559
It's really important,

99
00:03:45,593 --> 00:03:47,295
so don't break it.

100
00:03:47,328 --> 00:03:50,097
Okay, I may have fucked up here.

101
00:03:51,299 --> 00:03:54,234
Dup, ap, ap, pap, ut,
dah, pap, pap, pap, pah.

102
00:03:54,268 --> 00:03:55,803
T-t-tah, tah.

103
00:04:06,414 --> 00:04:08,716
Oh, great.

104
00:04:08,749 --> 00:04:10,318
Stupid cat.

105
00:04:11,852 --> 00:04:13,497
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
I know what it looks like

106
00:04:13,521 --> 00:04:14,988
to you, Izzy,
but I'm not a snake!

107
00:04:15,022 --> 00:04:16,900
I've seen the YouTube videos,
I know cats are scared

108
00:04:16,924 --> 00:04:18,835
of cucumbers and pickles because
they think they're snakes.

109
00:04:18,859 --> 00:04:20,428
I'm not a snake!

110
00:04:20,461 --> 00:04:21,995
I'm a pickle, I'm a pickle!

111
00:04:22,029 --> 00:04:22,896
Whoa!

112
00:04:22,930 --> 00:04:25,265
Oh!
Whoa, whoa, whoa!

113
00:04:26,700 --> 00:04:30,304
Oh, crap, that sun is bright.

114
00:04:30,338 --> 00:04:31,572
Okay, come on.

115
00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:32,916
This can't really be
the way I go out.

116
00:04:32,940 --> 00:04:34,508
This is the mega-genius
equivalent

117
00:04:34,542 --> 00:04:37,478
of dying on the toilet.

118
00:04:37,511 --> 00:04:40,514
So hot.

119
00:04:40,548 --> 00:04:43,717
This is how I'm gonna die.

120
00:04:52,192 --> 00:04:53,794
Oh, God, moisture.

121
00:04:53,827 --> 00:04:56,597
Oh, God, the moisture...
Dial it back, God.

122
00:04:56,630 --> 00:04:58,466
Dial it back a little bit here!

123
00:04:58,499 --> 00:04:59,767
Oh! Oh.

124
00:05:03,504 --> 00:05:04,538
Oh, God!

125
00:05:04,572 --> 00:05:06,340
Perpendicular, perpendicular!

126
00:05:06,374 --> 00:05:08,208
Oh, shit!

127
00:05:08,241 --> 00:05:10,243
Oh! Oh!

128
00:05:18,552 --> 00:05:20,921
Oh!

129
00:05:27,761 --> 00:05:29,797
Come on.
That's it.

130
00:05:29,830 --> 00:05:31,565
Come get this delicious brine.

131
00:05:31,599 --> 00:05:32,733
Aah!

132
00:05:34,768 --> 00:05:37,070
Come on!
Come on, mother-fucker

133
00:05:37,104 --> 00:05:38,539
Come on!

134
00:05:59,292 --> 00:06:01,194
Yes!

135
00:06:01,228 --> 00:06:03,431
How is this even family therapy

136
00:06:03,464 --> 00:06:06,033
if Dad's not invited
and Grandpa won't come?

137
00:06:06,066 --> 00:06:08,201
Yeah, and what's courageous
about eating a hot dog?

138
00:06:08,235 --> 00:06:10,438
It's nobody's choice
to be here, you knobs.

139
00:06:10,471 --> 00:06:13,173
The family was told to get
counseling by your principal,

140
00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:15,075
even though it's not
the family that was

141
00:06:15,108 --> 00:06:17,277
huffing pottery glaze
in the art room

142
00:06:17,310 --> 00:06:19,246
and desk wetting
in history class.

143
00:06:19,279 --> 00:06:21,348
Oh, the Smith family,

144
00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:22,616
minus a dad.

145
00:06:22,650 --> 00:06:24,284
You're patients
of Dr. Wong, too?

146
00:06:24,317 --> 00:06:26,286
Temporarily...
By order of the school.

147
00:06:26,319 --> 00:06:29,957
Me too. How long have
you all been eating poop?

148
00:06:29,990 --> 00:06:32,560
We... have never...

149
00:06:32,593 --> 00:06:33,594
eaten poop.

150
00:06:33,627 --> 00:06:35,262
Uh, me, neither.

151
00:06:35,295 --> 00:06:37,865
Say, where did my family
get off to?

152
00:06:37,898 --> 00:06:40,468
Smith family,
I'm Dr. Wong.

153
00:06:40,501 --> 00:06:42,836
Come on in.

154
00:06:45,973 --> 00:06:48,809
I was told there was a grandpa
that might be joining us?

155
00:06:48,842 --> 00:06:51,211
He got wrapped up
in an experiment.

156
00:06:51,244 --> 00:06:52,813
He's a scientist.

157
00:06:52,846 --> 00:06:55,082
Like, legit,
like on a an inter-galactic,

158
00:06:55,115 --> 00:06:56,717
sci-fi level.
His work is very...

159
00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:57,994
He turned himself into a pickle.

160
00:06:58,018 --> 00:07:00,621
Morty, Mom's talking.
I'm sorry.

161
00:07:00,654 --> 00:07:02,155
I suppose that's a good segue

162
00:07:02,189 --> 00:07:04,391
into our little
discipline cases here.

163
00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:07,160
Does Grandpa turn himself
into a pickle a lot?

164
00:07:07,194 --> 00:07:10,263
What? No!
What kind of question is that?

165
00:07:10,297 --> 00:07:13,166
The kind that wasn't designed to
attack or hurt you in any way.

166
00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:15,569
Oh, Jesus Christ, one of these.

167
00:07:15,603 --> 00:07:19,239
No, my father has never turned
himself into a pickle before.

168
00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:21,341
He's unpredictable
and eccentric.

169
00:07:21,374 --> 00:07:23,911
The whole family is.
Speaking of which...

170
00:07:23,944 --> 00:07:26,847
Okay, let's open things up
to the whole family,

171
00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:28,582
and let me ask this.

172
00:07:28,616 --> 00:07:32,185
Why do we think Grandpa
turned himself into a pickle?

173
00:07:41,294 --> 00:07:43,864
Wow. Ugh!

174
00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:48,936
Hey, listen, I know this
is your world not mine.

175
00:07:48,969 --> 00:07:50,880
The sooner I can get out,
the sooner I can go back

176
00:07:50,904 --> 00:07:55,042
to taking big craps, and you can
go back to subsisting on them.

177
00:07:55,075 --> 00:07:56,610
You are one driven rat.

178
00:07:56,644 --> 00:08:00,714
Could you be
a little more driven?

179
00:08:00,748 --> 00:08:03,884
To the right.

180
00:08:03,917 --> 00:08:05,152
Yes, yes, yes!

181
00:08:05,185 --> 00:08:07,521
Come on, come on, come on!
Fresh, fresh, fresh!

182
00:08:07,555 --> 00:08:09,322
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
was this your friend?

183
00:08:09,356 --> 00:08:13,360
Don't worry, he died doing what he
loved, being a dumb fucking rat.

184
00:08:34,114 --> 00:08:35,649
Oh, yeah!

185
00:08:59,139 --> 00:09:00,674
Aaaah!

186
00:09:00,708 --> 00:09:02,442
I didn't say
my father is perfect,

187
00:09:02,475 --> 00:09:03,777
I said his work is important.

188
00:09:03,811 --> 00:09:05,278
And she's saying
what's important is

189
00:09:05,312 --> 00:09:07,681
that Grandpa lied to you
to get out of coming here.

190
00:09:07,715 --> 00:09:08,782
Oh, he did not!

191
00:09:08,816 --> 00:09:10,117
Let's do an experiment here.

192
00:09:10,150 --> 00:09:12,285
I get the impression
this family values science.

193
00:09:12,319 --> 00:09:14,855
So raise your hand
if you feel certain

194
00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:17,257
you know what was
in the syringe.

195
00:09:17,891 --> 00:09:20,193
Raise your hand if
you know for certain

196
00:09:20,227 --> 00:09:23,831
the syringe does not
contain anti-pickle serum.

197
00:09:24,832 --> 00:09:26,767
Beth, your hand did
a little thing there.

198
00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:28,377
Do you really not see
what's happening here?

199
00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:29,937
Tell me.
Well, Dr. Wong...

200
00:09:29,970 --> 00:09:31,404
By the way, racist name...

201
00:09:31,438 --> 00:09:33,807
Obviously, Morty and Summer
are seizing on your

202
00:09:33,841 --> 00:09:36,043
arbitrary pickle obsession
as an end run

203
00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:38,411
around what was supposed
to be their therapy.

204
00:09:38,445 --> 00:09:39,980
Oh, I think this pickle incident

205
00:09:40,013 --> 00:09:41,581
is a better path than any other

206
00:09:41,615 --> 00:09:43,550
to the heart of
your family's dysfunction.

207
00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:45,619
I think it's possible
that you and your father

208
00:09:45,653 --> 00:09:48,121
have a very specific dynamic.

209
00:09:48,155 --> 00:09:49,156
I don't think it's one

210
00:09:49,189 --> 00:09:50,824
that rewards emotion
or vulnerability.

211
00:09:50,858 --> 00:09:52,292
I think it may punish them.

212
00:09:52,325 --> 00:09:54,728
I think it's possible that
dynamic eroded your marriage,

213
00:09:54,762 --> 00:09:56,797
and is infecting
your kids with a tendency

214
00:09:56,830 --> 00:09:59,566
to misdirect their feelings.

215
00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:00,668
Fuck you.

216
00:10:00,701 --> 00:10:01,669
- Mom!
- Mom!

217
00:10:01,702 --> 00:10:03,003
Fuck both of you, too.

218
00:10:05,038 --> 00:10:06,683
By the way, you might
notice that in spite of

219
00:10:06,707 --> 00:10:08,942
your numerous
distinctive features,

220
00:10:08,976 --> 00:10:12,646
I never gave you a name
like Scar or Stripe or Goliath.

221
00:10:12,680 --> 00:10:14,782
That's because, to me,
you aren't special.

222
00:10:14,815 --> 00:10:17,084
You were special to rats.
Now they're dead.

223
00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:19,419
I guess it was me
you should have impressed.

224
00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:21,989
God damn it, I love myself.

225
00:10:31,732 --> 00:10:34,067
Pickle Rick!

226
00:10:48,248 --> 00:10:49,549
Get that parkour.

227
00:10:49,582 --> 00:10:51,218
Get that parkour!

228
00:10:54,087 --> 00:10:55,723
Hey, it's cool.

229
00:10:55,756 --> 00:10:57,000
Just need to find
the nearest exit.

230
00:10:57,024 --> 00:10:58,658
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
No need to freak out.

231
00:11:00,794 --> 00:11:02,129
Whoa!

232
00:11:03,063 --> 00:11:05,065
Who in the fuck"s toilet
is this?

233
00:11:11,939 --> 00:11:13,040
What is it?

234
00:11:13,073 --> 00:11:15,408
A pickle? A rat? Both.

235
00:11:15,442 --> 00:11:17,077
It says it's a scientist.

236
00:11:17,110 --> 00:11:18,411
Where is it?

237
00:11:18,445 --> 00:11:20,313
It seems to be
using the air ducts

238
00:11:20,347 --> 00:11:22,082
and the mail tubes
to get around.

239
00:11:22,115 --> 00:11:24,517
It's been gathering
office supplies, we think,

240
00:11:24,551 --> 00:11:25,753
to build weaponry.

241
00:11:25,786 --> 00:11:27,988
But look what it
did on the mezzanine.

242
00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:32,425
It transferred a bottle from
the trash to the recycling bin.

243
00:11:32,459 --> 00:11:35,929
Whatever this thing is,
it's shaming us.

244
00:11:35,963 --> 00:11:38,431
We have 34 armed guards,
and we can't kill a pickle?

245
00:11:38,465 --> 00:11:40,333
32 armed guards.

246
00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:42,202
He killed two.

247
00:11:42,235 --> 00:11:43,703
It's on the phone.

248
00:11:43,737 --> 00:11:46,173
Put him on, and locate
the phone he's using.

249
00:11:46,206 --> 00:11:47,875
Hello.

250
00:11:47,908 --> 00:11:50,710
Hi, um, can you, uh,
please let me out.

251
00:11:50,744 --> 00:11:52,379
Your mere presence
in this building

252
00:11:52,412 --> 00:11:54,081
violates international law.

253
00:11:54,114 --> 00:11:57,050
I couldn't let you out even
if you hadn't killed two men.

254
00:11:57,084 --> 00:11:59,619
You should know
those men killed themselves.

255
00:11:59,652 --> 00:12:01,088
And how is that?

256
00:12:01,121 --> 00:12:03,090
They didn't let me out.

257
00:12:03,123 --> 00:12:04,124
Solen'ya.

258
00:12:04,157 --> 00:12:05,725
Shut your mouth
and do your jobs,

259
00:12:05,759 --> 00:12:06,927
you fucking children!

260
00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:08,728
Uh, is this not
a good time or...?

261
00:12:08,762 --> 00:12:11,731
Some of my men
are calling you "Solen'ya"...

262
00:12:11,765 --> 00:12:14,768
The Pickle Man,
an old wives tale.

263
00:12:14,802 --> 00:12:16,569
He crawls from
bowls of cold soup

264
00:12:16,603 --> 00:12:18,705
to steal the dreams
of wasteful children.

265
00:12:18,738 --> 00:12:20,240
That'd be a lucky break for you.

266
00:12:20,273 --> 00:12:23,243
Go, shoot to kill.

267
00:12:23,276 --> 00:12:26,113
Aaah!

268
00:12:36,589 --> 00:12:37,624
We got him.

269
00:12:37,657 --> 00:12:38,758
- Ah.
- Ah.

270
00:12:38,792 --> 00:12:40,093
Because this pickle

271
00:12:40,127 --> 00:12:42,429
doesn't care
about your children.

272
00:12:42,462 --> 00:12:43,931
And I'm not gonna
take their dreams.

273
00:12:43,964 --> 00:12:46,934
I'm gonna take their parents.

274
00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:05,518
Solen'ya!
He's coming!

275
00:13:05,552 --> 00:13:08,288
It's because I threw
half-way my sandwich!

276
00:13:08,321 --> 00:13:10,123
He's just a pickle!

277
00:13:10,157 --> 00:13:11,291
He's a monster.

278
00:13:11,324 --> 00:13:13,994
He's not the only one.

279
00:13:21,969 --> 00:13:25,939
You can stay, dead to the world
and die in this room.

280
00:13:25,973 --> 00:13:30,010
Or you can kill a pickle for me
and earn your freedom.

281
00:13:30,043 --> 00:13:34,347
There is no freedom while
you're leader breathes.

282
00:13:34,381 --> 00:13:36,449
Our country is a prison.

283
00:13:36,483 --> 00:13:38,018
Then Catarina is a prisoner.

284
00:13:38,051 --> 00:13:40,820
Perhaps I could arrange
her escape, as well.

285
00:13:40,854 --> 00:13:44,391
She lives, Jaguar.

286
00:13:44,424 --> 00:13:46,826
Where is this pickle?

287
00:13:46,860 --> 00:13:49,162
What do you think is
in the syringe, Beth?

288
00:13:49,196 --> 00:13:51,698
You're the one that costs
$200 an hour. You tell me.

289
00:13:51,731 --> 00:13:53,242
- Anti-pickle serum.
- It's anti-pickle serum.

290
00:13:53,266 --> 00:13:56,336
Your kids think it might be
anti-pickle serum.

291
00:13:56,369 --> 00:13:59,907
My kids pee their desks
and suck on unbaked vases.

292
00:13:59,940 --> 00:14:02,209
They're just angry at me
for divorcing their father.

293
00:14:02,242 --> 00:14:03,843
I never said I was angry at you.

294
00:14:03,877 --> 00:14:06,046
That's the point of
pottery-enamel huffing, Summer.

295
00:14:06,079 --> 00:14:08,015
You do it so you
don't have to say

296
00:14:08,048 --> 00:14:09,816
"I'm angry at mommy" out loud.

297
00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:11,351
Oh, my God!
Oh, there...

298
00:14:11,384 --> 00:14:13,686
There's pictures of people
eating poop in there!

299
00:14:13,720 --> 00:14:17,224
It's not my job to take
sides or pass judgment.

300
00:14:17,257 --> 00:14:19,993
Do you think when your father
asks for that syringe,

301
00:14:20,027 --> 00:14:22,362
you could ask him... He won't
have to ask for it, okay?

302
00:14:22,395 --> 00:14:23,363
He won't need it.

303
00:14:23,396 --> 00:14:24,697
He'll just make more.

304
00:14:24,731 --> 00:14:26,366
He doesn't need
anything from anyone.

305
00:14:26,399 --> 00:14:29,736
You admire him for that.

306
00:14:29,769 --> 00:14:31,504
It's better than
making your problems

307
00:14:31,538 --> 00:14:32,772
other people's problems.

308
00:14:50,323 --> 00:14:51,724
Oh, come on!

309
00:15:02,169 --> 00:15:05,272
Pickle Man, you should
know this isn't personal!

310
00:15:05,305 --> 00:15:06,739
You should know
that isn't original.

311
00:15:06,773 --> 00:15:08,075
They have my daughter.

312
00:15:08,108 --> 00:15:09,943
There's nothing I won't do
to see her again.

313
00:15:09,977 --> 00:15:12,579
Yeah, there's lots I wouldn't do
to see my daughter,

314
00:15:12,612 --> 00:15:14,147
but killing you gets me
to her quicker

315
00:15:14,181 --> 00:15:16,416
than your derivative bullshit.

316
00:15:20,954 --> 00:15:22,889
I never bullshit, Pickle Man.

317
00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:25,258
This can only end
with one of us dead,

318
00:15:25,292 --> 00:15:26,793
and I have never died.

319
00:15:26,826 --> 00:15:28,595
That will be your
downfall, Jaguar,

320
00:15:28,628 --> 00:15:31,664
not being open
to new experiences.

321
00:15:42,475 --> 00:15:44,311
Is it done?

322
00:15:44,344 --> 00:15:45,945
Jaguar?

323
00:15:45,979 --> 00:15:48,115
Jaguar couldn't make it.

324
00:15:48,148 --> 00:15:49,016
Do it.

325
00:15:49,049 --> 00:15:51,418
Okay, you win, Pickle Man.

326
00:15:51,451 --> 00:15:52,752
I'm unsealing the building.

327
00:15:52,785 --> 00:15:54,988
No, thanks.
I'm coming for you now.

328
00:15:55,022 --> 00:15:57,957
Pickle Man, there's
$100 million worth of bonds

329
00:15:57,991 --> 00:15:59,459
in a safe on level two.

330
00:15:59,492 --> 00:16:00,669
I'll give you the combination.

331
00:16:00,693 --> 00:16:02,395
That money belongs
to the people.

332
00:16:02,429 --> 00:16:04,464
Shut up and call me
a helicopter, you prick!

333
00:16:04,497 --> 00:16:05,965
Do we have a deal?

334
00:16:05,999 --> 00:16:07,967
Take that money,
give it to Jaguar's daughter

335
00:16:08,001 --> 00:16:08,968
when you set her free.

336
00:16:09,002 --> 00:16:10,303
Or I'll be visiting you.

337
00:16:10,337 --> 00:16:11,971
Jaguar's daughter is dead.

338
00:16:12,005 --> 00:16:13,340
Huh, so you're a liar.

339
00:16:13,373 --> 00:16:14,674
Jaguar was an animal.

340
00:16:14,707 --> 00:16:16,476
You're an intelligent pickle.

341
00:16:16,509 --> 00:16:17,810
We can do business.

342
00:16:17,844 --> 00:16:19,646
I don't think so.
See you soon.

343
00:16:19,679 --> 00:16:21,148
- Is the helicopter here?
- Yes.

344
00:16:21,181 --> 00:16:22,649
And the police are on the way.

345
00:16:22,682 --> 00:16:23,816
What do we tell them?

346
00:16:23,850 --> 00:16:24,984
Ooh!
Aah!

347
00:16:25,018 --> 00:16:27,020
Tell them we were robbed.

348
00:16:31,158 --> 00:16:33,560
Hey!
Hey, what are you doing?

349
00:16:33,593 --> 00:16:36,163
I'm right here!

350
00:16:49,709 --> 00:16:52,212
Farewell, Solen'ya.

351
00:16:55,915 --> 00:16:57,417
F-15s are scrambled.

352
00:16:57,450 --> 00:17:00,019
This helicopter will be
shot down in seven minutes.

353
00:17:00,053 --> 00:17:01,888
Well, my daughter
is about five away,

354
00:17:01,921 --> 00:17:03,256
and I've got about
eight to live.

355
00:17:03,290 --> 00:17:05,758
Pickle Man, it's too late
for me to tell my daughter

356
00:17:05,792 --> 00:17:07,160
I love her, but not for you.

357
00:17:07,194 --> 00:17:08,695
Oh, well, uh, she knows.

358
00:17:08,728 --> 00:17:10,506
I mean, we don't really
buy into that kind of crap,

359
00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:12,332
to the extent that love is
an expression

360
00:17:12,365 --> 00:17:15,001
of familiarity over time,
my access to infinite timelines

361
00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:16,536
precludes the necessity
of attachment.

362
00:17:16,569 --> 00:17:19,106
In fact, I even abandoned
one of my infinite daughters

363
00:17:19,139 --> 00:17:20,349
in an alternate version of earth

364
00:17:20,373 --> 00:17:23,110
that was taken over by mutants.

365
00:17:23,143 --> 00:17:25,278
Okay.
Good luck with that.

366
00:17:25,312 --> 00:17:27,747
Wait. Do I have
infinite daughters?

367
00:17:27,780 --> 00:17:30,850
Huh? Uh, no.
No, nope, sorry about that.

368
00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:33,720
Nope, just me.

369
00:17:33,753 --> 00:17:35,555
Yeesh!

370
00:17:37,424 --> 00:17:38,791
I...

371
00:17:38,825 --> 00:17:40,527
am...

372
00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:42,061
afraid...

373
00:17:42,095 --> 00:17:43,563
that my kids will get expelled.

374
00:17:43,596 --> 00:17:45,365
Good.
Summer, you go.

375
00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:47,567
I am mad...

376
00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:49,402
that I can't huff enamel

377
00:17:49,436 --> 00:17:52,572
without people assuming
it's because my family sucks.

378
00:17:52,605 --> 00:17:56,042
I hope to be seen one day

379
00:17:56,075 --> 00:17:57,586
as someone that just
likes getting high.

380
00:17:57,610 --> 00:17:58,878
Good job.

381
00:17:58,911 --> 00:18:00,980
Morty, do you have
an "I" statement?

382
00:18:01,013 --> 00:18:04,251
I am sad...

383
00:18:04,284 --> 00:18:05,485
that I peed.

384
00:18:05,518 --> 00:18:09,156
I'm sad that I peed in class
instead of a toilet.

385
00:18:09,189 --> 00:18:12,325
Look at this family go.
You guys are pros.

386
00:18:12,359 --> 00:18:15,795
What do you guys think about
doing this once a week?

387
00:18:17,364 --> 00:18:19,866
Ugh.

388
00:18:26,105 --> 00:18:27,807
You must be Rick.
Mm-hmm.

389
00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:29,742
I've heard a lot
about you today.

390
00:18:29,776 --> 00:18:31,578
Your family is crazy about you.

391
00:18:31,611 --> 00:18:33,513
Your daughter holds you
in very high regard.

392
00:18:33,546 --> 00:18:34,847
You're a lucky fella.

393
00:18:34,881 --> 00:18:36,625
Yeah, thank you.
Uh, sweetie, you don't still

394
00:18:36,649 --> 00:18:39,286
happen to have that
syringe in your purse?

395
00:18:42,389 --> 00:18:43,790
Dad...

396
00:18:43,823 --> 00:18:48,261
I would like you to tell me
what's in the syringe.

397
00:18:48,295 --> 00:18:52,465
It's a serum that I need to,
uh, to stay alive.

398
00:18:52,499 --> 00:18:55,502
I have had a rough day.

399
00:18:55,535 --> 00:18:58,805
And, uh, I've sustained
a lot of damage.

400
00:18:58,838 --> 00:19:01,874
I'm pretty close to death,
which the serum will prevent.

401
00:19:01,908 --> 00:19:05,278
By changing you from
a pickle to a human.

402
00:19:05,312 --> 00:19:06,313
Yes.

403
00:19:06,346 --> 00:19:09,482
Rick, why did you lie
to your daughter?

404
00:19:09,516 --> 00:19:11,117
So I wouldn't have to come here.

405
00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:12,552
Why didn't you want
to come here?

406
00:19:12,585 --> 00:19:15,288
Because I don't respect therapy,
because I'm a scientist.

407
00:19:15,322 --> 00:19:17,032
Because I invent, transform,
create, and destroy

408
00:19:17,056 --> 00:19:18,701
for a living, and when
I don't like something

409
00:19:18,725 --> 00:19:20,327
about the world, I change it.

410
00:19:20,360 --> 00:19:22,505
And I don't think going to
a rented office in a strip mall

411
00:19:22,529 --> 00:19:24,397
to listen to some
agent of averageness

412
00:19:24,431 --> 00:19:26,132
explain which words
mean which feelings

413
00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:27,667
has ever helped
anyone do anything.

414
00:19:27,700 --> 00:19:29,512
I think it's helped a lot
of people get comfortable

415
00:19:29,536 --> 00:19:31,471
and stop panicking,
which is a state of mind

416
00:19:31,504 --> 00:19:33,340
we value in the animals we eat,

417
00:19:33,373 --> 00:19:35,141
but not something
I want for myself.

418
00:19:35,174 --> 00:19:36,343
I'm not a cow.

419
00:19:36,376 --> 00:19:38,578
I'm a pickle...
When I feel like it.

420
00:19:38,611 --> 00:19:41,180
So... you asked.

421
00:19:41,214 --> 00:19:43,483
Rick, the only
connection between

422
00:19:43,516 --> 00:19:45,718
your unquestionable
intelligence and the sickness

423
00:19:45,752 --> 00:19:48,688
destroying your family
is that everyone in your family,

424
00:19:48,721 --> 00:19:52,158
you included, use intelligence
to justify sickness.

425
00:19:52,191 --> 00:19:55,027
You seem to alternate
between viewing your own mind

426
00:19:55,061 --> 00:19:58,865
as an unstoppable force
and as an inescapable curse.

427
00:19:58,898 --> 00:20:00,333
And I think
it's because the only

428
00:20:00,367 --> 00:20:02,535
truly unapproachable
concept for you

429
00:20:02,569 --> 00:20:05,204
is that it's your mind
within your control.

430
00:20:05,238 --> 00:20:08,241
You chose to come here,
you chose to talk

431
00:20:08,275 --> 00:20:12,078
to belittle my vocation, just as
you chose to become a pickle.

432
00:20:12,111 --> 00:20:14,414
You are the master
of your universe,

433
00:20:14,447 --> 00:20:17,216
and yet you are dripping
with rat blood and feces.

434
00:20:17,250 --> 00:20:20,353
Your enormous mind literally
vegetating by your own hand.

435
00:20:20,387 --> 00:20:23,189
I have no doubt that
you would be bored senseless

436
00:20:23,222 --> 00:20:25,958
by therapy, the same way
I'm bored when I brush my teeth

437
00:20:25,992 --> 00:20:27,226
and wipe my ass.

438
00:20:27,260 --> 00:20:29,128
Because the thing
about repairing,

439
00:20:29,161 --> 00:20:32,699
maintaining, and cleaning is
it's not an adventure.

440
00:20:32,732 --> 00:20:35,101
There's no way to do it
so wrong you might die.

441
00:20:35,134 --> 00:20:36,969
It's just work.

442
00:20:37,003 --> 00:20:38,405
And the bottom line is,

443
00:20:38,438 --> 00:20:41,408
some people are okay going
to work, and some people...

444
00:20:41,441 --> 00:20:43,776
well, some people
would rather die.

445
00:20:43,810 --> 00:20:46,646
Each of us gets to choose.

446
00:20:48,415 --> 00:20:50,249
That's our time.

447
00:20:50,283 --> 00:20:51,951
I'm going to
give you guys my card

448
00:20:51,984 --> 00:20:53,386
and hope to hear from you again.

449
00:20:53,420 --> 00:20:54,997
And if you have any friends
or family that eat poop

450
00:20:55,021 --> 00:20:57,757
and would like to stop,
give them my number.

451
00:21:00,126 --> 00:21:02,061
I, um...

452
00:21:02,094 --> 00:21:04,096
I'm sorry I lied
to get out of the thing.

453
00:21:04,130 --> 00:21:05,565
I... I shouldn't
lie to you.

454
00:21:05,598 --> 00:21:06,766
Oh, it's fine.

455
00:21:06,799 --> 00:21:08,601
I mean, thank you,
and, yeah, you shouldn't.

456
00:21:08,635 --> 00:21:10,403
But I hope you know
that's not what

457
00:21:10,437 --> 00:21:12,104
that session was supposed to be.

458
00:21:12,138 --> 00:21:14,407
Oh, no, I mean, I know
it was Morty peeing his pants

459
00:21:14,441 --> 00:21:16,509
and Summer snorting glue
or whatever...

460
00:21:17,944 --> 00:21:20,513
She huffed enamel, and we never
even talked about it.

461
00:21:20,547 --> 00:21:22,027
Well, there was so much
more at stake.

462
00:21:23,316 --> 00:21:27,286
I mean, that shrink,
what a monologuist.

463
00:21:27,320 --> 00:21:29,422
Are we gonna go back?

464
00:21:29,456 --> 00:21:31,491
Sweetie, could I get...
Get that syringe now?

465
00:21:31,524 --> 00:21:33,993
Oh, my God, yes!
Dad, it's in my purse.

466
00:21:34,026 --> 00:21:35,862
Oh, I'm sorry.
You must be in agony.

467
00:21:35,895 --> 00:21:38,865
Eh.

468
00:21:44,003 --> 00:21:45,104
Jesus.

469
00:21:46,506 --> 00:21:48,708
Jesus Christ.
Therapists, man.

470
00:21:48,741 --> 00:21:50,042
Weird breed.

471
00:21:50,076 --> 00:21:51,978
Man, I missed having hands...

472
00:21:52,011 --> 00:21:54,947
and blood and a stomach.

473
00:21:54,981 --> 00:21:56,115
We should get a drink.

474
00:21:56,148 --> 00:21:57,650
Really?
Like, go somewhere?

475
00:21:57,684 --> 00:22:00,152
Yeah, let's drop the kids off
and go tie one on.

476
00:22:00,186 --> 00:22:02,655
Absolutely.

477
00:22:02,689 --> 00:22:04,557
I... I liked her.

478
00:22:04,591 --> 00:22:07,660
So what are you thinking,
like, Smokey's Tavern?

479
00:22:07,694 --> 00:22:08,661
Maybe Shoney's?

480
00:22:08,695 --> 00:22:10,830
Yeah, either one.
Either one.

481
00:22:42,929 --> 00:22:45,197
You'll never get away
with this, Concerto.

482
00:22:45,231 --> 00:22:47,366
That is where you're mistaken,
Mr. Sanchez.

483
00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:51,203
This shall be my greatest
performance of all time!

484
00:22:53,640 --> 00:22:55,107
This is it, Morty.
We're goners.

485
00:22:55,141 --> 00:22:56,452
We're not getting
out of this one.

486
00:22:56,476 --> 00:22:58,044
After everything
we've been through,

487
00:22:58,077 --> 00:22:59,045
this is how we're gonna die.

488
00:22:59,078 --> 00:23:00,346
Make peace with your god.

489
00:23:00,379 --> 00:23:02,682
Oh, geez, Rick,
I-I-I don't want to die!

490
00:23:02,715 --> 00:23:05,685
And now for the E-splat!

491
00:23:07,754 --> 00:23:09,589
Jaguar!

492
00:23:12,925 --> 00:23:14,794
Who?
Who was that, Rick?

493
00:23:14,827 --> 00:23:17,830
That, Morty, is why
you don't go to therapy.