1 00:00:01,402 --> 00:00:03,971 Don't let any of those things get away, Morty. 2 00:00:04,004 --> 00:00:04,972 It their DNA gets into Earth's food chain, 3 00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:06,840 our entire species could be sterilized. 4 00:00:06,874 --> 00:00:08,309 Then why aren't we killing them? 5 00:00:08,342 --> 00:00:09,819 Right, next time I need a species sterilized, 6 00:00:09,843 --> 00:00:11,379 who's gonna do it for me, you? 7 00:00:11,412 --> 00:00:12,980 Whoa! Rick! 8 00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:14,482 I-Is that the Vindibeacon? 9 00:00:14,515 --> 00:00:16,850 We're being called to assemble by the Vindicators! 10 00:00:16,884 --> 00:00:18,828 I refuse to answer a literal call to adventure, Morty. 11 00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:20,554 Let it go to voice mail. Rick, 12 00:00:20,588 --> 00:00:23,224 the Vindicators only call when the universe itself is at stake. 13 00:00:23,257 --> 00:00:24,868 They're the first line of defense against evil. 14 00:00:24,892 --> 00:00:26,494 They're the guardians of the unguarded! 15 00:00:26,527 --> 00:00:28,338 They're the writers of their own press releases, Morty. 16 00:00:28,362 --> 00:00:30,864 They're a bunch of drama queens that spend an hour talking 17 00:00:30,898 --> 00:00:32,866 and 20 minutes jumping around while shit blows up. 18 00:00:32,900 --> 00:00:34,535 They're a phase. 19 00:00:34,568 --> 00:00:37,071 We did one, it was the big even of that summer, let it die. 20 00:00:37,105 --> 00:00:39,240 I, Morty Smith, invoke my right 21 00:00:39,273 --> 00:00:41,842 to choose one in every 10 Rick and Morty adventures. 22 00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:43,877 God fucking damn it! Read 'em and weep. 23 00:00:43,911 --> 00:00:46,214 Fine. But don't say I didn't warn you. 24 00:00:46,247 --> 00:00:49,683 Yes! Vindicator Command Ship... Beacon received. 25 00:00:49,717 --> 00:00:52,853 We're doing Vindicators Twoooooo! 26 00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:54,355 Whoops. 27 00:00:54,388 --> 00:00:57,225 Uh, Morty, you might want to freeze some sperm. 28 00:01:29,123 --> 00:01:30,258 Vindicators. 29 00:01:30,291 --> 00:01:31,592 Worldender is back, 30 00:01:31,625 --> 00:01:34,094 and this time he's out to end more than worlds. 31 00:01:34,128 --> 00:01:36,730 We have reason to believe his stronghold is located on... 32 00:01:36,764 --> 00:01:37,765 My balls. Rick! 33 00:01:37,798 --> 00:01:39,467 The Terraneous system. 34 00:01:39,500 --> 00:01:43,237 Once in range, Million Ants will scan for pheromone activity 35 00:01:43,271 --> 00:01:45,406 which should lead us to the location of the base. 36 00:01:45,439 --> 00:01:47,475 Oh, that's Million Ants. 37 00:01:47,508 --> 00:01:49,577 I can't see the ants from over here, 38 00:01:49,610 --> 00:01:50,754 I just assumed that was, uh, turd man, 39 00:01:50,778 --> 00:01:52,646 wiggly turd man. 40 00:01:52,680 --> 00:01:55,249 Rick, stop! Rick, you have something to add to the briefing? 41 00:01:55,283 --> 00:01:57,751 Uh, yeah, just a few more design notes... 42 00:01:57,785 --> 00:02:00,488 Um, this guy, the, uh... the, uh... 43 00:02:00,521 --> 00:02:01,955 I am Crocubot. 44 00:02:01,989 --> 00:02:04,091 Right, Crocubot. 45 00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:06,960 So, you're half cold, unfeeling reptile, half... 46 00:02:06,994 --> 00:02:08,496 also cold... 47 00:02:08,529 --> 00:02:10,598 equally unfeeling machine. Yes. 48 00:02:10,631 --> 00:02:12,132 Wow. So, your origin is what? 49 00:02:12,166 --> 00:02:14,602 Y-You fell into a vat of redundancy? 50 00:02:14,635 --> 00:02:16,504 Got damn! 51 00:02:16,537 --> 00:02:18,272 Noob Noob, we're having a briefing. 52 00:02:18,306 --> 00:02:19,773 If I can continue, Rick. 53 00:02:19,807 --> 00:02:22,109 I anticipate sophisticated security measures. 54 00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:24,144 I trust you can be of service there. 55 00:02:24,178 --> 00:02:26,347 Well, let me check my list of powers and weaknesses. 56 00:02:26,380 --> 00:02:28,816 Ability to do anything... But only whenever I want... 57 00:02:28,849 --> 00:02:30,651 Yeah, that sounds like a job for me. 58 00:02:30,684 --> 00:02:33,287 I wish he had the ability to check his attitude. 59 00:02:33,321 --> 00:02:34,955 Alan Rails, ladies and gentlemen. 60 00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:36,466 After his parents tragic death in a rail road accident, 61 00:02:36,490 --> 00:02:38,659 he gained the power to summon ghost trains. 62 00:02:38,692 --> 00:02:40,628 It's not all bad though, 63 00:02:40,661 --> 00:02:43,006 they were spared having to see their grown son wear a WHISTLE: 64 00:02:43,030 --> 00:02:44,965 Got damn! 65 00:02:44,998 --> 00:02:46,500 Thanks, Noob Noob. This guy gets it. 66 00:02:49,837 --> 00:02:52,340 Vance Maximus, Renegade Star Soldier... 67 00:02:53,674 --> 00:02:55,008 Sorry I'm late. It was happy hour. 68 00:02:55,042 --> 00:02:57,311 Happy hour. 69 00:02:57,345 --> 00:02:59,647 Uh, I was also late because of my drinking 70 00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:01,181 and mentioned it to zero applause. 71 00:03:01,215 --> 00:03:03,651 Rick Sanchez. Tinkerer of Terror. 72 00:03:03,684 --> 00:03:04,718 Man, that's hard to say. 73 00:03:04,752 --> 00:03:06,820 And... Morty, right? 74 00:03:06,854 --> 00:03:08,656 Whoa, yeah! I never forget a kid. 75 00:03:08,689 --> 00:03:11,191 What do you say, Vindicators, let's make this three for three? 76 00:03:11,225 --> 00:03:12,159 - Haha! - Yes! 77 00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:13,994 Did he say "three for three"? 78 00:03:14,027 --> 00:03:15,829 Did he say he never forgets a kid? 79 00:03:15,863 --> 00:03:17,531 You mean two for two, right, Vance? 80 00:03:19,367 --> 00:03:23,203 Actually, we assembled a second time last summer 81 00:03:23,237 --> 00:03:25,038 to fight Doomnomitron. 82 00:03:25,072 --> 00:03:27,841 So this is... Vindicators Three? 83 00:03:27,875 --> 00:03:32,680 And you guys did Vindicators Two... without us? 84 00:03:32,713 --> 00:03:35,416 I sense... insecurity. 85 00:03:35,449 --> 00:03:37,585 Are you sure there's not just a picnic nearby? 86 00:03:39,052 --> 00:03:40,521 I guess he found his crowd. 87 00:03:40,554 --> 00:03:42,623 Pretty toothless stuff, guys. 88 00:03:45,426 --> 00:03:47,861 I hope you're happy with the adventure so far, Morty. 89 00:03:47,895 --> 00:03:49,863 These guys are even lamer than last time. 90 00:03:49,897 --> 00:03:51,732 We weren't here last time, remember? 91 00:03:51,765 --> 00:03:53,867 They did a whole Vindicators without us. 92 00:03:53,901 --> 00:03:55,536 A bunch of them got killed, too. 93 00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:58,906 They lost Lady Katana, Calypso, Diablo Verde... 94 00:03:58,939 --> 00:04:01,609 Yikes. Yeah, things did feel less diverse in there. 95 00:04:01,642 --> 00:04:04,945 This article says the reason we weren't involved was... 96 00:04:04,978 --> 00:04:06,113 "personality conflicts." 97 00:04:06,146 --> 00:04:08,248 Don't worry, Morty, they love you. 98 00:04:08,282 --> 00:04:10,117 Superheroes need a wide-eyed unremarkable 99 00:04:10,150 --> 00:04:11,552 to tag along and react to everything 100 00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:13,086 like it's mind blowing. 101 00:04:13,120 --> 00:04:16,457 I... think the personality conflict might have been... 102 00:04:16,490 --> 00:04:17,891 you? 103 00:04:17,925 --> 00:04:20,428 Jesus... 104 00:04:20,461 --> 00:04:21,962 How awesome is that? 105 00:04:21,995 --> 00:04:23,440 I mean, they wanted to not need me so bad 106 00:04:23,464 --> 00:04:25,265 they murdered three innocent heroes of color 107 00:04:25,299 --> 00:04:27,067 and they still had to bring me back? 108 00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:28,802 Rick, since it's my adventure and all, 109 00:04:28,836 --> 00:04:30,404 could you do me a favor? 110 00:04:30,438 --> 00:04:33,140 Uh, the adventure is the favor, Morty. 111 00:04:33,173 --> 00:04:35,275 Me sleeping on these linens is the favor. 112 00:04:35,309 --> 00:04:38,111 I mean, w-w-what... what are we vindicating? Comfort? 113 00:04:38,145 --> 00:04:39,747 Rick, this really bums me out. 114 00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:42,416 It-It's embarrassing to find out these guys don't like us. 115 00:04:42,450 --> 00:04:44,151 Why? Morty I defeat gagoos 116 00:04:44,184 --> 00:04:46,253 more powerful than these guys every week. 117 00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:47,755 Yeah, but not heroes. 118 00:04:47,788 --> 00:04:50,257 Oh, please, they just call themselves heroes so they can... 119 00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:53,961 I'm calling them that, Rick! They're my heroes. Mine! 120 00:04:55,963 --> 00:04:58,932 Huh, no accounting for taste. 121 00:04:58,966 --> 00:05:00,668 I'm gonna go get a drink. 122 00:05:08,476 --> 00:05:10,177 Good morning, Vindicators. 123 00:05:10,210 --> 00:05:12,346 Ship has arrived at Terraneous system. 124 00:05:12,380 --> 00:05:15,949 All Vindicators report to the... briefing room. 125 00:05:15,983 --> 00:05:18,318 The... The room from the, uh... the... 126 00:05:18,352 --> 00:05:19,996 Uh, it's the d... It's a different room than... 127 00:05:20,020 --> 00:05:21,622 Than conference room. 128 00:05:21,655 --> 00:05:24,358 I'm sorry, it's my first day as a PA System. 129 00:05:24,392 --> 00:05:26,994 First-day jitters. 130 00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:30,798 Oh, God. 131 00:05:30,831 --> 00:05:33,467 Good morning. Looks like your grandpa had a long night. 132 00:05:33,501 --> 00:05:36,169 Crocubot, why don't you escort Mr. Sanchez 133 00:05:36,203 --> 00:05:38,972 to a more comfortable spot so that someone can... 134 00:05:39,006 --> 00:05:41,475 clean up his diarrhea. 135 00:05:41,509 --> 00:05:44,478 Oooh, I'm nervous about my first mission! 136 00:05:44,512 --> 00:05:46,980 Actually, Noob Noob, you have a new mission. 137 00:05:47,014 --> 00:05:50,684 Got... damn. Vindicators, prepare for arrival. 138 00:05:50,718 --> 00:05:53,387 Morty, the Vindicators and I had a chat this morning, 139 00:05:53,421 --> 00:05:55,656 and I'm afraid we need to make a little change. 140 00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:58,859 I-I totally get it. I-I'm so sorry. 141 00:05:58,892 --> 00:06:00,160 You should be. 142 00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:01,028 Running around in a yellow T-shirt 143 00:06:01,061 --> 00:06:02,229 like you're not one of us. 144 00:06:02,262 --> 00:06:05,866 Disgraceful. I-I-I'm not a superhero. 145 00:06:05,899 --> 00:06:07,067 Cop a squat, chief. 146 00:06:07,100 --> 00:06:09,002 Everyone in the universe is a hero. 147 00:06:09,036 --> 00:06:11,014 All you have to do is know the difference between good and bad, 148 00:06:11,038 --> 00:06:12,406 and root for good. 149 00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:14,875 Rick says good and bad are artificial constructs. 150 00:06:14,908 --> 00:06:17,210 Yeah, well, I get the feeling... 151 00:06:17,244 --> 00:06:19,547 He kind of needs that to be the case. 152 00:06:19,580 --> 00:06:20,881 Not coming, Noob Noob? 153 00:06:20,914 --> 00:06:25,586 Ohh! No, uh, I got stuff to do here. 154 00:06:32,125 --> 00:06:34,394 Security drones, inbound. 155 00:06:34,428 --> 00:06:37,230 Star Mother, grant me your wrath. 156 00:06:40,267 --> 00:06:42,436 All aboard! 157 00:06:54,815 --> 00:06:57,084 Gun turret. Are you all right? 158 00:06:57,117 --> 00:06:59,052 Yes. I only lost 400 ants. 159 00:06:59,086 --> 00:07:00,888 My queen is laying more. 160 00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:03,724 I am back to... one Million Ants. 161 00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:05,258 Someone wake up Sanchez. 162 00:07:07,294 --> 00:07:09,062 Ugh! Oh, Christ. 163 00:07:09,096 --> 00:07:10,564 Rick. You're up. Barely. 164 00:07:10,598 --> 00:07:12,299 We're taking fire from an automated turret. 165 00:07:12,332 --> 00:07:14,101 Can you bring it offline? Uh-huh. 166 00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:25,813 Uh, my God, that's better. Rick! 167 00:07:25,846 --> 00:07:27,648 Hey, I can't help if I can't see. 168 00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:48,836 I could've just used a ghost train. 169 00:07:48,869 --> 00:07:51,471 Really? You don't say. You would've used a ghost train? 170 00:07:51,505 --> 00:07:53,941 Hey, everybody, the ghost train guy 171 00:07:53,974 --> 00:07:55,943 would have used a ghost train. 172 00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:57,444 - Man, Fuck you. - Is there coffee? 173 00:07:57,477 --> 00:07:59,112 Hey, Morty, can you be a pal, 174 00:07:59,146 --> 00:08:00,490 Grandpa left his coffee maker on the ship, 175 00:08:00,514 --> 00:08:01,791 you know, the French press thing... 176 00:08:01,815 --> 00:08:02,816 Get it yourself. 177 00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:08,656 Little extra snippy this morning, aren't you? 178 00:08:08,689 --> 00:08:10,457 Just focus on the mission, all right? 179 00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:12,626 Oh-oh-oh, I'm sorry, oh, you're right. 180 00:08:12,660 --> 00:08:16,630 Ohh, real serious. Gotta take it real serious, huh? 181 00:08:16,664 --> 00:08:20,300 Son of a Steam Engine. They're all dead. 182 00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:23,303 Why would Worldender do this to his own men... 183 00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:25,472 and several women? Well, he is the Worldender. 184 00:08:25,505 --> 00:08:27,675 The guy ends worlds. Kind of his thing. 185 00:08:27,708 --> 00:08:31,011 Ohh, real scared. Real fucking on alert, 186 00:08:31,044 --> 00:08:33,313 high alert over here. 187 00:08:33,346 --> 00:08:35,482 Watch out! 188 00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:36,483 What the fuck? 189 00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:38,819 It's Worldender! What happened to him? 190 00:08:40,187 --> 00:08:42,489 I sense his life force is fading. 191 00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:44,324 Million Ants, ladies and gentlemen. 192 00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:46,660 The ant colony with the power of two human eyes. 193 00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:50,530 All right. Short mission. Good mission. 194 00:08:50,564 --> 00:08:52,733 Remember when Alan wanted to use a ghost train? 195 00:08:52,766 --> 00:08:55,502 See you guys in Vindicators Four. Morty? Rick, whoever did this 196 00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:57,170 is an even bigger threat than Worldender. 197 00:08:57,204 --> 00:08:58,505 We can't leave now. 198 00:08:58,538 --> 00:09:01,208 He's right. This is far from over. 199 00:09:01,241 --> 00:09:02,409 Well, have fun with that, 200 00:09:02,442 --> 00:09:04,353 but Morty and I have to meet a Lady Comet, a Monorail Man, 201 00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:06,513 Two Assholes, and a Full Alligator in like an hour. 202 00:09:19,793 --> 00:09:20,694 Shit. 203 00:09:20,728 --> 00:09:22,429 I sense the presence 204 00:09:22,462 --> 00:09:24,131 of a greater evil. 205 00:09:24,164 --> 00:09:27,100 Check, check. One, two. 206 00:09:27,134 --> 00:09:30,370 Okay. Is it recording? Good. 207 00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:31,872 Hello, Vindicators. 208 00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:34,541 Welcome to your reckoning, baby! 209 00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:36,944 Welp, it's official. 210 00:09:36,977 --> 00:09:39,079 I had too much to drink last night. 211 00:09:40,247 --> 00:09:42,883 If you guys are watching this, 212 00:09:42,916 --> 00:09:44,618 you're, you know, the Vindicators. 213 00:09:44,652 --> 00:09:47,621 So, now that we know... Rick? What's going on, buddy? 214 00:09:47,655 --> 00:09:50,624 Obviously, I came here last night during a blackout. 215 00:09:50,658 --> 00:09:52,459 "Obviously?" 216 00:09:52,492 --> 00:09:54,394 You came here and defeated our arch nemesis... 217 00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:56,797 while so drunk you don't remember doing it? 218 00:09:56,830 --> 00:09:58,799 That's something "obvious" to you? 219 00:09:58,832 --> 00:10:01,068 Look, I'm a lit... little more complex than you guys, 220 00:10:01,101 --> 00:10:02,803 and, no offense, but I've always suspected 221 00:10:02,836 --> 00:10:04,304 that a lot of what you do in a year 222 00:10:04,337 --> 00:10:05,682 could be knocked out in a couple of hours. 223 00:10:05,706 --> 00:10:08,408 So I thought, why not just do your job for you, 224 00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:10,577 so we can have a little fun game. 225 00:10:12,846 --> 00:10:14,815 Rick, is... Is this a "Saw" thing? 226 00:10:14,848 --> 00:10:17,084 Are you seriously Sawing the Vindicators? 227 00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:19,252 Morty, I'm a drunk, not a hack. 228 00:10:19,286 --> 00:10:21,655 If you break the rules, lose the game or try to leave, 229 00:10:21,689 --> 00:10:22,990 you will die. 230 00:10:23,023 --> 00:10:25,025 Like in "Sawwww." 231 00:10:25,058 --> 00:10:26,493 Well, I-I-I think we've seen enough, 232 00:10:26,526 --> 00:10:28,161 I'll just figure out how to unplug this. 233 00:10:28,195 --> 00:10:29,505 Okay, here we go. Room number one. 234 00:10:29,529 --> 00:10:31,431 The Vindicators are known throughout the galaxy, 235 00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:34,201 but do they know yourselves, do you know yourselves? 236 00:10:34,234 --> 00:10:36,837 Match your... your shit, your... your gimmicks, 237 00:10:36,870 --> 00:10:40,340 with your faces, and y-you get it, it's a matching thing. 238 00:10:40,373 --> 00:10:44,044 And do it in three minutes or you'll all die. 239 00:10:45,245 --> 00:10:46,880 Screw this. I'm not playing his game. 240 00:10:46,914 --> 00:10:48,124 I'm gonna find us a way out of here. 241 00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:49,516 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on, Vance. 242 00:10:49,549 --> 00:10:51,027 He said you'd die if you tried to leave. 243 00:10:51,051 --> 00:10:52,291 That means there's booby traps. 244 00:10:52,319 --> 00:10:54,955 Why are you acting like that's not you? 245 00:10:54,988 --> 00:10:56,465 What part of "blackout" don't you understand? 246 00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:57,858 I thought you drank. 247 00:10:57,891 --> 00:11:00,193 Like cool drinking! Like sexy drinking, 248 00:11:00,227 --> 00:11:02,696 not this psycho, trailer-park shit! 249 00:11:02,730 --> 00:11:04,531 Vance, stay calm... 250 00:11:04,564 --> 00:11:06,475 Oh, so you're the leader now, because we gave you a jacket? 251 00:11:06,499 --> 00:11:09,036 You're the learning-disabled kid we do photo ops with. 252 00:11:09,069 --> 00:11:10,470 Okay, ouch, but... Okay, this... 253 00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:13,707 This is triggering me. I need space. 254 00:11:13,741 --> 00:11:17,544 I-I need space from this! 255 00:11:40,133 --> 00:11:42,002 Give me one reason 256 00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:43,737 why I shouldn't crush your windpipe. 257 00:11:43,771 --> 00:11:47,074 Because my epidermis is laced with a nanofiber defense mesh... 258 00:11:47,107 --> 00:11:49,409 And because, like I said, I don't remember last night. 259 00:11:49,442 --> 00:11:51,945 I told you not to invite this mummified motherfucker back. 260 00:11:51,979 --> 00:11:53,356 Alan, I'm not proud of what's happening here, 261 00:11:53,380 --> 00:11:55,115 but if you keep coming at me, 262 00:11:55,148 --> 00:11:56,592 there's gonna be another passenger on that ghost train. 263 00:11:56,616 --> 00:11:59,452 Guys! I figured it out. 264 00:11:59,486 --> 00:12:02,422 - Congrats! - You did it it! 265 00:12:02,455 --> 00:12:05,759 It was a bit. All of the descriptors apply to all of you. 266 00:12:05,793 --> 00:12:07,360 Drunk Rick's point 267 00:12:07,394 --> 00:12:08,772 is that none of you are very special or different. 268 00:12:08,796 --> 00:12:10,597 That's always his point. 269 00:12:10,630 --> 00:12:12,933 Let's just get through this as quickly as possible. 270 00:12:12,966 --> 00:12:14,701 Then we'll deal with the two of you. 271 00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:17,470 The two of us? I hope you're proud of yourself. 272 00:12:17,504 --> 00:12:19,940 Uh, I kind of am. I saved the God damn universe. 273 00:12:19,973 --> 00:12:21,374 That's not the issue, Rick! 274 00:12:21,408 --> 00:12:23,777 Ahh, it would've been if I hadn't! 275 00:12:23,811 --> 00:12:25,312 The Vindicators say their job 276 00:12:25,345 --> 00:12:27,314 is to fight evil wherever it hides, 277 00:12:27,347 --> 00:12:30,283 but they don't... Pick the location you'll... 278 00:12:30,317 --> 00:12:32,820 You'll never hear them even mention, 279 00:12:32,853 --> 00:12:35,956 because to fight darkness is to fight yourself. 280 00:12:35,989 --> 00:12:37,958 Oh! I know this. Dorian 5! 281 00:12:37,991 --> 00:12:39,159 Crocubot, don't! 282 00:12:39,192 --> 00:12:41,628 There's no other possible answer. 283 00:12:41,661 --> 00:12:45,132 My mechanical and reptilian logic are certain of it. 284 00:12:45,165 --> 00:12:46,499 Oh! 285 00:12:46,533 --> 00:12:48,668 Huh! I'm seeing more croc than bot here. 286 00:12:48,701 --> 00:12:50,403 God damn it! 287 00:12:50,437 --> 00:12:52,305 Uh, what happened on Dorian 5? Nothing! 288 00:12:52,339 --> 00:12:55,742 Nothing? We exterminated a planet. 289 00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:57,477 W-Wait. Huh? 290 00:12:57,510 --> 00:13:00,180 Doomnomitron was hiding there! He's a shapeshifter. 291 00:13:00,213 --> 00:13:03,250 Destroying Dorian 5 was the only way to kill him. 292 00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:04,660 Come on, guys, we're all thinking it. 293 00:13:04,684 --> 00:13:05,986 Don't... 294 00:13:06,019 --> 00:13:06,987 Don't make me say it. 295 00:13:07,020 --> 00:13:08,488 Oh, okay. This again. 296 00:13:08,521 --> 00:13:10,657 You know, I could have made you a device 297 00:13:10,690 --> 00:13:13,493 to detect Doomnomitron from orbit like that. 298 00:13:13,526 --> 00:13:16,363 I'm not the one that didn't want you back. Alan was. 299 00:13:16,396 --> 00:13:19,833 If you lay those deaths at my doorstep one more time... 300 00:13:19,867 --> 00:13:22,035 Do not threaten her. 301 00:13:22,069 --> 00:13:24,204 Congrats, you did it. 302 00:13:24,237 --> 00:13:26,506 What the hell is "Israel"? 303 00:13:26,539 --> 00:13:28,217 It-It's just something Rick starts talking about 304 00:13:28,241 --> 00:13:29,442 when he's blackout drunk. 305 00:13:29,476 --> 00:13:31,044 W-What? In w... In w-w-what? 306 00:13:31,078 --> 00:13:33,013 Like, w-w-what's my point? 307 00:13:33,046 --> 00:13:34,848 In a way that has no point, 308 00:13:34,882 --> 00:13:35,959 you just babble about defense budgets and the United Nations 309 00:13:35,983 --> 00:13:37,517 and then you pass out. 310 00:13:37,550 --> 00:13:40,120 So, to be clear, I sometimes reference 311 00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:42,856 the geopolitical complexities of the topic... 312 00:13:42,890 --> 00:13:45,225 Which is not the same as going to an anti-Semitic place. 313 00:13:45,258 --> 00:13:46,894 I have not stake in this... 314 00:13:46,927 --> 00:13:48,804 I don't either, I'm... I'm just saying, if anything, 315 00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:51,074 the drunk version of me is probably so supportive of Israel 316 00:13:51,098 --> 00:13:52,532 he wants what's best for it and... 317 00:13:52,565 --> 00:13:55,802 Hey, man, I'm not touching this. You do you. 318 00:13:58,571 --> 00:14:02,042 Aloha... means hello and goodbye in Hawaii. 319 00:14:02,075 --> 00:14:05,478 But, uh, aloha means... 320 00:14:05,512 --> 00:14:07,247 Has nothing to do with this room. 321 00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:09,482 I'm so fucking drunk. 322 00:14:09,516 --> 00:14:11,318 Ugh, okay. Here's the deal. 323 00:14:11,351 --> 00:14:13,086 I-I want to rest my eyes for a little bit, 324 00:14:13,120 --> 00:14:14,554 I'm... I'm not going to sleep, 325 00:14:14,587 --> 00:14:16,323 I just... just need to rest my eyes, 326 00:14:16,356 --> 00:14:17,891 so let's make this one simple... 327 00:14:17,925 --> 00:14:19,893 Just... try to hit some three pointers. 328 00:14:19,927 --> 00:14:22,595 Let's say... you have to hit... five three pointers 329 00:14:22,629 --> 00:14:24,898 in... five minutes... or... I don't know, 330 00:14:24,932 --> 00:14:26,910 the whole place... the whole planet will get blown up 331 00:14:26,934 --> 00:14:28,668 with a n-neutrino bomb. 332 00:14:28,701 --> 00:14:30,737 And try to make it a-a lesson about... yourselves, 333 00:14:30,770 --> 00:14:32,739 like... like how selfish you are... 334 00:14:32,772 --> 00:14:33,941 Are or something. 335 00:14:33,974 --> 00:14:35,608 And also Hawaii. 336 00:14:35,642 --> 00:14:37,510 You guys hit the baskets, 337 00:14:37,544 --> 00:14:40,080 I'll disarm the drunkenly-improvised neutrino bomb. 338 00:14:40,113 --> 00:14:42,082 There's a 40 percent chance it's a dud, 339 00:14:42,115 --> 00:14:43,750 but y-you should still stay back. 340 00:14:43,783 --> 00:14:44,860 Morty, how many of these... 341 00:14:44,884 --> 00:14:46,519 Too many, Rick! Too many! 342 00:14:46,553 --> 00:14:49,957 Man, I am really getting high-roaded today. 343 00:14:52,392 --> 00:14:54,261 That's a three pointer. 344 00:14:54,294 --> 00:14:55,929 Nice shot. Thank you. 345 00:14:55,963 --> 00:14:57,931 You two make quite a team. 346 00:14:57,965 --> 00:14:59,766 We all do. 347 00:14:59,799 --> 00:15:01,101 Yeah, I guess... 348 00:15:01,134 --> 00:15:02,602 That's a three pointer. 349 00:15:02,635 --> 00:15:06,706 But you guys have always had a... an unspoken bond. 350 00:15:06,739 --> 00:15:09,609 I mean, really unspoken. 351 00:15:09,642 --> 00:15:13,313 Like, let's-not-tell-my-husband unspoken. 352 00:15:15,148 --> 00:15:17,784 We aren't married anymore, Alan. 353 00:15:17,817 --> 00:15:19,619 Sure, but were we married 354 00:15:19,652 --> 00:15:23,390 when you two were "stranded" on Delphi Six for three days? 355 00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:28,128 Because I sensed something was weird when you came back... 356 00:15:28,161 --> 00:15:30,397 But what do I know about sensitivity? 357 00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:32,632 I'm just a phantom train conductor. 358 00:15:32,665 --> 00:15:35,568 You're the pile of ordinary bugs that fucked my wife! 359 00:15:35,602 --> 00:15:38,405 That's a three pointer. 360 00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:39,648 Where the fuck is the lead wire? 361 00:15:39,672 --> 00:15:41,308 You always put it in the weirdest place. 362 00:15:41,341 --> 00:15:42,575 Um, uh, over here maybe? 363 00:15:42,609 --> 00:15:44,411 Jesus Christ, what a shitty neutrino bomb. 364 00:15:44,444 --> 00:15:46,155 It's a miracle I ever actually destroy anything. 365 00:15:46,179 --> 00:15:47,814 Oh, I don't know, 366 00:15:47,847 --> 00:15:49,192 you managed to destroy just about everything today. 367 00:15:49,216 --> 00:15:50,650 The villains, the heroes, 368 00:15:50,683 --> 00:15:52,252 the lines between them, my childhood... 369 00:15:52,285 --> 00:15:53,920 Thank yeewwwwww. I appreciate it, Morty, 370 00:15:53,953 --> 00:15:55,422 I know you were sucking the Kool-Aid 371 00:15:55,455 --> 00:15:56,499 out of the Vindicators' dicks 372 00:15:56,523 --> 00:15:58,358 so the fact that I was right about them 373 00:15:58,391 --> 00:15:59,535 must be pretty hard to admit. 374 00:15:59,559 --> 00:16:01,328 Yeah, it is. You know why, Rick? 375 00:16:01,361 --> 00:16:02,662 Because when you're an asshole, 376 00:16:02,695 --> 00:16:04,164 it doesn't matter how right you are, 377 00:16:04,197 --> 00:16:05,837 nobody wants to give you the satisfaction. 378 00:16:05,865 --> 00:16:08,168 I know. Everyone wants people they like to be right. 379 00:16:08,201 --> 00:16:10,170 That's why popular people are fucking dumb. 380 00:16:10,203 --> 00:16:11,614 And why your pretentious, poorly-written, 381 00:16:11,638 --> 00:16:13,206 high-budget friends back there 382 00:16:13,240 --> 00:16:14,841 can eat a double-decker shit sandwich. 383 00:16:14,874 --> 00:16:16,276 Disarmed. 384 00:16:16,309 --> 00:16:18,678 Holy shit. You're jealous. 385 00:16:18,711 --> 00:16:20,613 Yes! Is that what you want to hear? 386 00:16:20,647 --> 00:16:21,781 Did it feel good? 387 00:16:21,814 --> 00:16:24,351 Did you like his six million wriggling legs 388 00:16:24,384 --> 00:16:26,519 more than my tragedy-stricken, 389 00:16:26,553 --> 00:16:29,356 half-ghost, half-tumescent penis? Guys, stop! 390 00:16:29,389 --> 00:16:31,691 You're just proving my asshole grandpa right! 391 00:16:31,724 --> 00:16:35,062 You wish this was about sex! We loved each other! 392 00:16:35,095 --> 00:16:37,297 We had a child together! What? 393 00:16:37,330 --> 00:16:41,034 I conceived a child with Million Ants and it died inside me 394 00:16:41,068 --> 00:16:45,405 because it was half a million ants and half collapsing star! 395 00:16:45,438 --> 00:16:49,376 And yes. He was better than you. 396 00:16:49,409 --> 00:16:50,477 Yeah? 397 00:16:50,510 --> 00:16:52,212 One... million... times... better. 398 00:16:52,245 --> 00:16:55,048 All aboard, motherfucker 399 00:16:55,082 --> 00:16:57,084 Stop! 400 00:16:59,286 --> 00:17:02,089 Oof! Didn't see that coming. 401 00:17:02,122 --> 00:17:03,656 Is that sarcasm? 402 00:17:03,690 --> 00:17:05,725 I don't want you slipping away when this is over. 403 00:17:05,758 --> 00:17:07,494 All of these deaths are on your hands. 404 00:17:07,527 --> 00:17:09,062 Okay, come on, maybe a couple of them, 405 00:17:09,096 --> 00:17:10,173 but definitely not the Train Guy. 406 00:17:10,197 --> 00:17:11,431 Oof! All of them. 407 00:17:11,464 --> 00:17:12,565 Oookay. 408 00:17:12,599 --> 00:17:15,068 Congrats. You did it. 409 00:17:15,102 --> 00:17:18,905 All right, by now, I've been pretty clear 410 00:17:18,938 --> 00:17:21,074 that I think the Vindicators are full of shit. 411 00:17:21,108 --> 00:17:23,910 But... you do have one thing that I'll never have. 412 00:17:23,943 --> 00:17:25,912 And that thing is the only part of the Vindicators 413 00:17:25,945 --> 00:17:27,680 with any value to me. 414 00:17:27,714 --> 00:17:30,016 If you know what it is, place it on the platform. 415 00:17:30,049 --> 00:17:32,519 Guess wrong and pla-planet will explode. 416 00:17:32,552 --> 00:17:34,020 And probably the solar system, 417 00:17:34,053 --> 00:17:35,931 'cause I kind of fucking eyeballed the neutrino bombs 418 00:17:35,955 --> 00:17:37,690 on this one. 419 00:17:37,724 --> 00:17:40,927 So what's the trick? Morty, you're the Drunk Rick expert. 420 00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:45,098 I think... no matter what we put on there, we die. 421 00:17:45,132 --> 00:17:47,867 He said it's the part of the Vindicators he values. 422 00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:48,935 That means nothing. 423 00:17:48,968 --> 00:17:50,370 He wants our last moment alive 424 00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:52,105 to be spent knowing how few fucks he gave. 425 00:17:52,139 --> 00:17:54,474 Jesus! Okay, open to second opinions. 426 00:17:54,507 --> 00:17:56,143 It could... It could be Morty. 427 00:17:56,176 --> 00:17:57,544 What? Hey, I don't know. 428 00:17:57,577 --> 00:17:58,878 I mean, look, when I get drunk, 429 00:17:58,911 --> 00:18:01,381 I get stupid and emotional and there's no logic to it. 430 00:18:01,414 --> 00:18:03,716 It's, like, it's possible I got so drunk 431 00:18:03,750 --> 00:18:06,286 I felt like I was losing Morty to the Vindicators, 432 00:18:06,319 --> 00:18:08,488 and maybe this is my way of saying, "Okay", 433 00:18:08,521 --> 00:18:10,957 you can have him but only if you know how important he is, 434 00:18:10,990 --> 00:18:12,125 "otherwise I'll kill you." 435 00:18:12,159 --> 00:18:14,794 That is a... really specific guess. 436 00:18:14,827 --> 00:18:17,397 Look, I-I... there's nothing in the room but us. 437 00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:19,299 I'm just using logic to connect some dots, 438 00:18:19,332 --> 00:18:20,667 it's the best guess I've got. 439 00:18:20,700 --> 00:18:22,569 But you're betting our lives on it. 440 00:18:22,602 --> 00:18:24,971 I'll cover that bet. I get it. 441 00:18:25,004 --> 00:18:26,973 Well, Morty, I think you're doing that smirky face 442 00:18:27,006 --> 00:18:28,975 because you're misinterpreting the moment. 443 00:18:29,008 --> 00:18:31,178 I am not being coy about some hidden love for you. 444 00:18:31,211 --> 00:18:33,813 I want to be really clear that if anyone has a better guess, 445 00:18:33,846 --> 00:18:36,082 like, if I gave you an amulet last night, or... 446 00:18:37,217 --> 00:18:39,085 Phew. 447 00:18:40,853 --> 00:18:41,853 Oh, shit. 448 00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:46,926 Sorry. I'm... not good at goodbyes, 449 00:18:46,959 --> 00:18:49,596 and... I'm drunk, so, you know, I just... 450 00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:51,931 It looks like I'm never going to see you again. 451 00:18:51,964 --> 00:18:54,000 I can't really roll with the hero types. 452 00:18:54,033 --> 00:18:56,436 And I don't... they... They don't want me around. 453 00:18:56,469 --> 00:18:59,839 But I want you to know, even if I didn't show it at the time, 454 00:18:59,872 --> 00:19:02,209 I really appreciated you sticking by me. 455 00:19:02,242 --> 00:19:06,379 God damn it, why am I crying? It makes no sense. 456 00:19:06,413 --> 00:19:07,947 Ugh, you're... You're probably confused 457 00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:09,782 because we barely knew each other, 458 00:19:09,816 --> 00:19:11,351 but you really stuck your neck out 459 00:19:11,384 --> 00:19:12,528 when you gave me props for my awesome jokes 460 00:19:12,552 --> 00:19:14,221 in the briefing room. 461 00:19:14,254 --> 00:19:17,023 Everybody else had their head so far up their ass. 462 00:19:17,056 --> 00:19:18,625 Even my own grandson is like, 463 00:19:18,658 --> 00:19:20,360 "Oh, the Vindicators, they're so cool." 464 00:19:20,393 --> 00:19:23,796 I mean, he's a moron, that's their demographic. 465 00:19:23,830 --> 00:19:25,365 But you're different, Noob Noob. 466 00:19:25,398 --> 00:19:26,966 Mother fucker 467 00:19:26,999 --> 00:19:29,369 You're fucking cool. And you're smart. 468 00:19:29,402 --> 00:19:32,071 And I bet we coulda hung out and shit. 469 00:19:32,104 --> 00:19:34,407 And I hope you get to be a full-fledged Vindicator 470 00:19:34,441 --> 00:19:36,075 and... and do... Do me a favor, 471 00:19:36,108 --> 00:19:38,044 don't... don't let them know I-I got emotional. 472 00:19:38,077 --> 00:19:40,146 But you can tell them one thing. 473 00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:42,048 Tell them I said... 474 00:19:42,081 --> 00:19:45,785 Oh fuck Okay. I just shit myself. Okay, later. 475 00:19:50,923 --> 00:19:53,192 W... Dude, Morty, what happened... Shut up. 476 00:19:54,861 --> 00:19:57,230 I sense this means we are not dying. 477 00:19:57,264 --> 00:19:58,565 Not all of us. 478 00:19:58,598 --> 00:19:59,766 Sweetheart. 479 00:19:59,799 --> 00:20:01,601 Just let Titty Bean do this, Snuzzles. 480 00:20:01,634 --> 00:20:03,069 It's for the greater good. 481 00:20:03,102 --> 00:20:04,170 Greater good? Titty Bean? 482 00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:05,772 It's like you said, Morty. 483 00:20:05,805 --> 00:20:07,907 There's no right or wrong... Never said that. 484 00:20:07,940 --> 00:20:10,610 It's the galaxy's faith in the Vindicators 485 00:20:10,643 --> 00:20:12,779 that keeps the galaxy secure. 486 00:20:12,812 --> 00:20:14,514 Yeah, I feel safer already. 487 00:20:14,547 --> 00:20:16,683 No doubt, who do we make the check out to? 488 00:20:16,716 --> 00:20:18,685 I will say we are getting some good licks in 489 00:20:18,718 --> 00:20:20,253 while choking to death... Right? 490 00:20:20,287 --> 00:20:21,954 Titty Bean. Listen to me. 491 00:20:21,988 --> 00:20:22,922 When you came to me, 492 00:20:22,955 --> 00:20:25,525 I was merely a sentient colony of ants. 493 00:20:25,558 --> 00:20:28,595 It was your beliefs, your pursuit of justice... 494 00:20:28,628 --> 00:20:30,263 that taught me to be a man. 495 00:20:31,798 --> 00:20:33,533 When did it get so complicated? 496 00:20:33,566 --> 00:20:36,202 Who knows. But we can make it simple again. 497 00:20:36,235 --> 00:20:37,870 You were always the romantic. 498 00:20:37,904 --> 00:20:40,273 Which is why you can't leave, either. 499 00:20:44,076 --> 00:20:46,212 I'm sorry, my love. 500 00:20:46,245 --> 00:20:48,715 Damn! She double-crossed Snuzzles! 501 00:20:48,748 --> 00:20:51,618 Silence! I'm going to enjoy this... 502 00:20:51,651 --> 00:20:54,454 Let's give a huge thanks to Rick Sanchez 503 00:20:54,487 --> 00:20:56,956 for killing Worldender, putting this awesome party together, 504 00:20:56,989 --> 00:21:00,327 and for booking one of the hottest talents out there... 505 00:21:00,360 --> 00:21:03,896 - Logic! - Awe, yeah. 506 00:21:03,930 --> 00:21:05,498 Look at that. It's going down. 507 00:21:05,532 --> 00:21:07,133 Geez, I must have planned a whole party. 508 00:21:07,166 --> 00:21:08,977 - It's Logic, y'all. - Invited a bunch of people. 509 00:21:09,001 --> 00:21:10,313 - Not bad, Drunk Rick, not bad. - Shout out to my boy, Rick. 510 00:21:10,337 --> 00:21:12,138 Are you ready? 511 00:21:16,008 --> 00:21:18,811 Rick, Supernova's getting away. Eh, who cares? 512 00:21:18,845 --> 00:21:20,246 But... she was trying to kill us. 513 00:21:20,279 --> 00:21:22,081 Morty, 20 people try to kill me every week. 514 00:21:22,114 --> 00:21:23,526 I end up getting high with half of them. 515 00:21:23,550 --> 00:21:25,518 I mean, check it out, Gearhead's here. 516 00:21:27,019 --> 00:21:28,163 Hmm. Well, that's gonna shoot through me. 517 00:21:28,187 --> 00:21:30,323 Morty, you're wearing a Vindicator jacket. 518 00:21:30,357 --> 00:21:31,924 Are you a little superhero now? 519 00:21:31,958 --> 00:21:33,860 Everyone in the universe is a hero, Mom. 520 00:21:33,893 --> 00:21:35,528 Which is why we don't need jackets. 521 00:21:35,562 --> 00:21:37,340 And I'm pretty sure we don't need Vindicators. 522 00:21:37,364 --> 00:21:38,998 Don't mind if I do. 523 00:21:39,031 --> 00:21:41,534 Hey, everybody! Look who's a Vindicator! 524 00:21:41,568 --> 00:21:45,338 Man, Grandpa Rick must have gotten shitfaced. Shut up, Summer. 525 00:21:47,907 --> 00:21:49,542 Noob Noob! 526 00:21:49,576 --> 00:21:52,178 Noob Noob! 527 00:21:52,211 --> 00:21:54,180 Who the fuck is Noob Noob? 528 00:21:54,213 --> 00:21:56,783 Noob Noob! 529 00:21:56,816 --> 00:21:58,951 Yo, it's Logic once again, y'all. 530 00:21:58,985 --> 00:22:00,353 Don't forget the name. 531 00:22:00,387 --> 00:22:01,788 Make sure you get home safe. 532 00:22:01,821 --> 00:22:03,065 And, man, we gotta all give it up for Rick, 533 00:22:03,089 --> 00:22:05,024 'cause, I mean, what kind of mother 534 00:22:05,057 --> 00:22:07,360 just sets up a whole festival like this 535 00:22:07,394 --> 00:22:09,396 when he's completely loaded, man? 536 00:22:09,429 --> 00:22:13,032 And all that stuff I said about Vance, that's not real. 537 00:22:13,065 --> 00:22:16,068 Vance that guy, that guy sucks 538 00:22:16,102 --> 00:22:18,738 Whoo! 539 00:22:18,771 --> 00:22:20,306 Yeah! 540 00:22:20,339 --> 00:22:22,742 Yo... 541 00:22:22,775 --> 00:22:25,978 D-Did I get paid yet? Whoo! 542 00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:30,817 I can't believe we're getting Gear Cream with a Vindicator. 543 00:22:30,850 --> 00:22:34,921 So, you girls in Gear college or Gear... 544 00:22:34,954 --> 00:22:37,056 Alien terror attack! 545 00:22:37,089 --> 00:22:41,428 Okay. Sounds like a job for... me. 546 00:22:41,461 --> 00:22:44,831 I better go get into my alter ego. 547 00:22:44,864 --> 00:22:46,499 So cool. I know. 548 00:22:46,533 --> 00:22:48,601 Wait, what alter ego? 549 00:22:48,635 --> 00:22:50,403 He was already wearing the jacket. 550 00:22:52,872 --> 00:22:54,240 Gotta know when to hold 'em and... 551 00:22:54,273 --> 00:22:55,273 Aaaaah!