1 00:00:01,768 --> 00:00:03,036 Morty, hurry! 2 00:00:03,071 --> 00:00:04,838 Return the Truth Tortoise! 3 00:00:04,871 --> 00:00:07,240 Morty, whatever you do, don't drop the Truth Tortoise! 4 00:00:07,275 --> 00:00:08,541 Also really important, 5 00:00:08,576 --> 00:00:10,178 whatever you do, don't look into its eyes! 6 00:00:10,211 --> 00:00:12,846 I — I did look at it, Rick! I've been looking at it! 7 00:00:12,880 --> 00:00:14,582 Now you're gonna know everything, Morty! 8 00:00:14,615 --> 00:00:16,516 Good job! Way to go! You fucked everything up! 9 00:00:16,550 --> 00:00:18,219 [ Speaking gibberish ] 10 00:00:18,251 --> 00:00:20,687 It's in my head! [ Screams ] 11 00:00:20,721 --> 00:00:22,356 Ah! 12 00:00:22,390 --> 00:00:24,557 [ Screams ] 13 00:00:25,792 --> 00:00:28,562 Oh, geez, I — I can't get that Truth Tortoise out of my head. 14 00:00:28,596 --> 00:00:30,564 Yeah, I told you not to look into its eyes. 15 00:00:30,597 --> 00:00:32,700 Hey, Morty, let's watch some interdimensional cable. 16 00:00:32,732 --> 00:00:34,234 Remember how we used to do that? 17 00:00:34,268 --> 00:00:36,036 Rick, I can't — I can't go on. 18 00:00:36,070 --> 00:00:38,371 I-I can't go on like this with the Truth Tortoise shit in my head. 19 00:00:38,405 --> 00:00:39,606 I-I wish you could just — 20 00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:41,741 Erase the memory from your mind? 21 00:00:41,774 --> 00:00:43,743 How did you know I was gonna say that? 22 00:00:43,777 --> 00:00:45,445 Come on, Morty, come with me. 23 00:00:45,478 --> 00:00:48,548 After you. 24 00:00:48,582 --> 00:00:50,417 What the hell is this? 25 00:00:50,451 --> 00:00:52,018 This, Morty, is my archive 26 00:00:52,051 --> 00:00:54,722 of all the experiences you've begged me to remove 27 00:00:54,755 --> 00:00:56,756 from your life, lest you go insane. 28 00:00:56,789 --> 00:01:00,427 I call them Morty's Mind Blowers. 29 00:01:00,460 --> 00:01:03,063 And we'll be doing this instead of interdimensional cable. 30 00:01:03,097 --> 00:01:13,073 ♪♪ 31 00:01:13,106 --> 00:01:23,082 ♪♪ 32 00:01:23,117 --> 00:01:33,360 ♪♪ 33 00:01:34,795 --> 00:01:36,963 How long have I been asking you to remove memories? 34 00:01:36,996 --> 00:01:39,332 Since the first [burps] time your mind was blown. 35 00:01:39,366 --> 00:01:40,668 Ahh, here it is. [ Burps ] 36 00:01:40,700 --> 00:01:42,270 Classic. [ Blows ] 37 00:01:42,302 --> 00:01:43,637 There's no dust on it because 38 00:01:43,670 --> 00:01:45,104 this isn't the first time we've done this. 39 00:01:45,139 --> 00:01:49,277 - What? - I call this one "Moonspiracy"! 40 00:01:49,310 --> 00:01:51,512 [ Laughs ] 41 00:01:51,545 --> 00:01:54,647 [ Insects chirping ] 42 00:01:54,682 --> 00:01:57,617 Huh, wow. That's incredible. 43 00:01:58,985 --> 00:02:01,621 What the heck? 44 00:02:01,655 --> 00:02:03,623 Morty, do you realize how ridiculous that sounds? 45 00:02:03,656 --> 00:02:05,259 Yeah, pretty crazy story, Morty. 46 00:02:05,293 --> 00:02:06,760 Are you serious? 47 00:02:06,793 --> 00:02:08,762 Half the crap we've seen, and you think that sounds crazy? 48 00:02:08,795 --> 00:02:10,631 I've been to 300 versions of Earth's moon, 49 00:02:10,663 --> 00:02:12,633 including this one, and I've never seen signs 50 00:02:12,665 --> 00:02:14,467 of a "regular dude," as you describe him, 51 00:02:14,502 --> 00:02:15,703 hanging out up there. 52 00:02:15,735 --> 00:02:17,971 It's probably just a smudge on the lens. 53 00:02:18,004 --> 00:02:21,040 Smudge on the lens? Smudge on the lens? 54 00:02:21,074 --> 00:02:23,477 I know the difference between a man threatening me 55 00:02:23,510 --> 00:02:25,445 and a smudge on the goddamn lens, Summer! 56 00:02:25,478 --> 00:02:27,348 Morty, calm down! Are you feeling okay? 57 00:02:27,381 --> 00:02:29,317 I'm fine! 58 00:02:29,349 --> 00:02:30,783 So sensitive. 59 00:02:30,818 --> 00:02:32,786 [ School bell rings ] 60 00:02:32,819 --> 00:02:34,655 Principal Vagina: Kids, I'd like to introduce you all 61 00:02:34,687 --> 00:02:37,658 to our new guidance counselor, Mr. Lunas. 62 00:02:37,691 --> 00:02:40,328 I look forward to helping guide you all 63 00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:42,496 towards a brighter future. 64 00:02:42,530 --> 00:02:45,132 I believe every student should... 65 00:02:45,164 --> 00:02:47,335 shoot for the moon. 66 00:02:47,367 --> 00:02:51,372 ♪♪ 67 00:02:51,405 --> 00:02:53,706 Got you now, you son of a bitch. 68 00:02:53,740 --> 00:02:55,876 [ Camera shutter clicking ] 69 00:02:57,110 --> 00:02:58,177 What's this? 70 00:02:58,211 --> 00:03:00,848 Proof that Mr. Lunas isn't who he says he is! 71 00:03:00,881 --> 00:03:02,682 He's not a guidance counselor? 72 00:03:02,716 --> 00:03:04,918 I — I assume he's qualified to be one, who isn't? 73 00:03:04,951 --> 00:03:08,187 But he also lives on the moon. 74 00:03:08,222 --> 00:03:09,823 Okay. 75 00:03:09,856 --> 00:03:11,057 Hmm. 76 00:03:11,091 --> 00:03:12,492 Is that it? 77 00:03:12,526 --> 00:03:14,193 Is he doing anything to hurt anyone? 78 00:03:14,228 --> 00:03:16,028 Oh, he's up to something. 79 00:03:16,062 --> 00:03:18,164 I think I understand. 80 00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:20,367 "Up to something," "lives on the moon." 81 00:03:20,401 --> 00:03:22,270 Okay, I'll talk to him. 82 00:03:22,302 --> 00:03:26,973 [ No audio ] 83 00:03:31,412 --> 00:03:33,447 [ Tires screeching ] 84 00:03:33,480 --> 00:03:34,882 What did he say? 85 00:03:34,914 --> 00:03:36,783 Denied the moon stuff, but that's what pedophiles do, 86 00:03:36,817 --> 00:03:38,418 they deny, it's their bread and butter. 87 00:03:38,451 --> 00:03:39,719 Pedophile? You don't think so? 88 00:03:39,752 --> 00:03:41,722 I thought the moon thing might have been code. 89 00:03:41,754 --> 00:03:43,356 No, he's literally from the moon! 90 00:03:43,390 --> 00:03:44,692 Well, you saw him react. 91 00:03:44,724 --> 00:03:47,127 Moon or not, that dude likes 'em young. 92 00:03:50,730 --> 00:03:52,932 [ Siren wails ] 93 00:03:52,966 --> 00:03:54,968 Gordon Lunas was a good Marine. 94 00:03:55,002 --> 00:03:57,471 We don't know what drove him to take his own life, 95 00:03:57,504 --> 00:03:59,573 but we want to remember the good things. 96 00:03:59,606 --> 00:04:01,375 Like how, from a certain angle, 97 00:04:01,408 --> 00:04:04,277 some people would say he looked like a smudge. 98 00:04:08,147 --> 00:04:09,317 [ Squeak ] 99 00:04:09,349 --> 00:04:11,050 Oh, my God, what have I done? 100 00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:12,118 What have I done? 101 00:04:12,151 --> 00:04:15,423 Jesus, I made that guy kill himself! 102 00:04:15,455 --> 00:04:16,824 Only in a literal sense. 103 00:04:16,856 --> 00:04:19,059 Here's one I call "Morty's [burp] Menagerie." 104 00:04:19,091 --> 00:04:21,060 They don't all have titles, though. 105 00:04:21,093 --> 00:04:23,163 It's not a "Simpsons" Halloween special, 106 00:04:23,196 --> 00:04:26,165 more like a clip show made of clips you never saw! 107 00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:29,101 I can't believe we got put into a menagerie. 108 00:04:29,136 --> 00:04:30,637 So this guy collects living beings? 109 00:04:30,670 --> 00:04:32,406 Yeah, you know like commemorative plates, 110 00:04:32,439 --> 00:04:33,941 but less off-putting. 111 00:04:33,973 --> 00:04:36,744 You'll get it when you're still actively dating in your 40s. 112 00:04:36,776 --> 00:04:38,346 Assess this with cold indifference, 113 00:04:38,379 --> 00:04:39,612 you beany-headed prick! 114 00:04:39,646 --> 00:04:41,481 [ Crash! ] Hey, keep it down! 115 00:04:41,514 --> 00:04:43,115 Just our luck, menagerie beneath 116 00:04:43,149 --> 00:04:45,151 the "boulder people" of Granitor Seven. 117 00:04:45,185 --> 00:04:46,786 I can't take it anymore, Rick! 118 00:04:46,819 --> 00:04:48,288 [ Banging ] Relax, Morty! 119 00:04:48,322 --> 00:04:50,324 I can't relax! R-R-Rick, we — we gotta get outta here! 120 00:04:50,358 --> 00:04:52,292 I don't care what it takes! Anything! 121 00:04:52,326 --> 00:04:53,793 - Anything? - Anything! 122 00:04:53,826 --> 00:04:55,663 All right, well, you're gonna have to take off your shirt. 123 00:04:55,696 --> 00:04:57,630 Not yet. I'll tell you when. 124 00:04:57,665 --> 00:04:59,699 [ Sonar pinging ] 125 00:04:59,733 --> 00:05:02,470 [ Chattering ] 126 00:05:02,502 --> 00:05:04,338 Dear God. 127 00:05:04,372 --> 00:05:05,805 What? 128 00:05:05,838 --> 00:05:07,975 The signal turned out to be — 129 00:05:08,007 --> 00:05:10,511 there's no other way to put it — 130 00:05:10,543 --> 00:05:11,978 Instructions. For? 131 00:05:12,012 --> 00:05:14,981 A vehicle, sir, an interstellar vehicle. 132 00:05:15,014 --> 00:05:17,985 We'll need a pilot. I wonder if there's a volunteer. 133 00:05:18,018 --> 00:05:19,185 Mm. 134 00:05:19,218 --> 00:05:22,055 Oh, the schematics specify a second, smaller pilot. 135 00:05:22,088 --> 00:05:24,156 I mean, they really specify smaller. 136 00:05:24,190 --> 00:05:26,726 They have to be exactly 5'3". 137 00:05:26,759 --> 00:05:29,196 Chang, you may have majored in Liberal Arts, 138 00:05:29,228 --> 00:05:31,865 but I think you're about to make history. 139 00:05:32,665 --> 00:05:33,966 [ Grunts ] 140 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:35,668 Woman: Primary systems, check. 141 00:05:35,702 --> 00:05:37,370 Auxiliary systems, check. 142 00:05:37,404 --> 00:05:39,005 See you soon. 143 00:05:41,742 --> 00:05:44,711 Okay, now. 144 00:05:44,745 --> 00:05:46,646 Greetings. 145 00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:48,014 You're — You look... 146 00:05:48,048 --> 00:05:50,350 We've possessed forms your mind can accept. 147 00:05:50,384 --> 00:05:52,685 Here are some customary clothing gifts. 148 00:05:52,720 --> 00:05:54,487 Please, put them on. 149 00:05:54,521 --> 00:05:56,656 - May we? - Of course, yes. 150 00:05:56,689 --> 00:05:58,091 We followed your instructions. 151 00:05:58,125 --> 00:06:00,860 We have so much to learn from you. 152 00:06:00,894 --> 00:06:03,531 I know, right? 153 00:06:03,564 --> 00:06:06,266 [ Creak ] 154 00:06:08,468 --> 00:06:11,170 Hey, how come I was able to see those other people's memories? 155 00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:13,040 I — I wouldn't have been around for that. 156 00:06:13,072 --> 00:06:15,041 Yeah, sometimes I gotta do a little editing, Morty. 157 00:06:15,074 --> 00:06:16,343 It helps the mind blowers 158 00:06:16,375 --> 00:06:18,377 play a little bit better upon revisiting. 159 00:06:18,411 --> 00:06:20,848 I call this one "The Whole Enchilada. 160 00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:23,750 Here, Morty, this'll make your urine drinkable. 161 00:06:23,783 --> 00:06:25,552 Now can we keep shopping? 162 00:06:25,586 --> 00:06:27,254 I am Zikzak. 163 00:06:27,286 --> 00:06:29,790 Ah, shit, Morty, get behind me. It's a fuckin' alien overlord! 164 00:06:29,822 --> 00:06:31,692 It's okay. Here. 165 00:06:31,725 --> 00:06:33,026 Oh, I misjudged. 166 00:06:33,060 --> 00:06:35,528 "I am Floop Floopian. Please kill me." 167 00:06:35,562 --> 00:06:37,129 That's right, Morty. 168 00:06:37,163 --> 00:06:39,867 The Floop Floopians achieve an eternal orgasmic afterlife, 169 00:06:39,899 --> 00:06:41,901 so long as they're killed by a great warrior. 170 00:06:41,935 --> 00:06:43,803 I'm flattered, by the way. Thank you very much. 171 00:06:43,836 --> 00:06:45,204 So you're gonna kill him? 172 00:06:45,237 --> 00:06:47,240 Eh, let's get some lunch first. 173 00:06:49,141 --> 00:06:51,278 ♪♪ 174 00:06:51,310 --> 00:06:53,245 So, you want to get shot in the head, or — 175 00:06:53,279 --> 00:06:54,814 Well, as long as the wound is fatal, 176 00:06:54,848 --> 00:06:56,283 I don't really mind where you shoot me. 177 00:06:56,316 --> 00:06:58,284 Cool. I'm gonna go take a quick shit. 178 00:06:58,317 --> 00:07:00,687 Well, I gotta say. You know, I'm a little envious. 179 00:07:00,721 --> 00:07:02,656 Your species has an actual afterlife. 180 00:07:02,689 --> 00:07:04,290 That's gotta be nice. 181 00:07:04,324 --> 00:07:05,658 Wh-What do you mean? 182 00:07:05,692 --> 00:07:08,095 Well, you know, here on Earth, w-we don't know what's going on. 183 00:07:08,127 --> 00:07:10,129 It must be nice for you guys to, you know, have that — 184 00:07:10,163 --> 00:07:12,365 have that proof's in the pudding, you know, evidence. 185 00:07:13,934 --> 00:07:17,471 Evidence? There's supposed to be evidence? 186 00:07:17,504 --> 00:07:19,939 Um, yeah, uh... 187 00:07:19,973 --> 00:07:23,976 otherwise, how do you know if it's true? 188 00:07:24,011 --> 00:07:26,278 [ Clears throat ] 189 00:07:26,312 --> 00:07:28,581 Wait, you don't... 190 00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:31,685 All right, so you want to do this here or outside? 191 00:07:31,718 --> 00:07:33,487 [ Weapon cocks, powers up ] 192 00:07:33,521 --> 00:07:34,788 Run! 193 00:07:34,822 --> 00:07:36,288 [ Door slams open ] 194 00:07:36,322 --> 00:07:37,625 I don't wanna die! 195 00:07:37,658 --> 00:07:39,860 [ Horn honks ] 196 00:07:39,893 --> 00:07:42,161 [ Chanting ] 197 00:07:42,194 --> 00:07:44,463 Oh, God, it's all real! Oh, it hurts! 198 00:07:44,497 --> 00:07:45,966 Oh, I shouldn't have doubted it! 199 00:07:45,999 --> 00:07:48,201 I shouldn't have let you make me doubt it! 200 00:07:48,235 --> 00:07:51,271 Aah! I blame you, I blame you! 201 00:07:51,303 --> 00:07:53,139 But he said there wasn't any evidence! 202 00:07:53,173 --> 00:07:54,608 That was a ton of evidence! 203 00:07:54,641 --> 00:07:55,808 Well, silver lining. 204 00:07:55,843 --> 00:07:57,209 Now I know their religion's real. 205 00:07:57,244 --> 00:07:59,178 They have a hell, and it does not look good. 206 00:07:59,211 --> 00:08:01,281 I noticed you never finished your chimichanga, 207 00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:03,716 so I got some room for it now, if you know what I mean. 208 00:08:03,750 --> 00:08:05,185 Holy Shit! 209 00:08:05,218 --> 00:08:07,687 How many of these are just horrible mistakes I've made? 210 00:08:07,721 --> 00:08:09,389 I mean, maybe I'd stop making so many 211 00:08:09,422 --> 00:08:11,158 if I let myself learn from them! 212 00:08:11,190 --> 00:08:13,060 Don't break your back creating a lesson, Morty. 213 00:08:13,093 --> 00:08:14,461 It's a freeform anthology. 214 00:08:14,494 --> 00:08:16,295 I'm getting annoyed you're not hearing that. 215 00:08:16,329 --> 00:08:18,064 As you can see around me, your mind's been blown 216 00:08:18,098 --> 00:08:21,569 countless times, and not always by yourself. 217 00:08:21,601 --> 00:08:23,170 Ah, shit, I don't even — 218 00:08:23,202 --> 00:08:24,672 This better not have been a good one. 219 00:08:24,704 --> 00:08:25,973 What is this? 220 00:08:26,005 --> 00:08:27,841 Great, "Booger AIDS," "AIDS Booger." 221 00:08:27,875 --> 00:08:29,408 I gotta start using real file names. 222 00:08:29,442 --> 00:08:31,144 In the meantime, enjoy a grab bag 223 00:08:31,177 --> 00:08:35,347 of mind blowers I call "Poop AIDS underscore copy." 224 00:08:35,381 --> 00:08:37,585 Alien Warlord: I'm not an unreasonable man, Beth Smith. 225 00:08:37,618 --> 00:08:40,153 I know children are everything to a mammal. 226 00:08:40,187 --> 00:08:41,989 I will spare one of their lives. 227 00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:44,725 [ Muffled screaming ] You simply have to choose. 228 00:08:44,758 --> 00:08:47,226 Summer! Summer. 229 00:08:48,461 --> 00:08:50,898 ♪♪ 230 00:08:50,931 --> 00:08:52,331 You're not gonna believe this. 231 00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:53,933 I went to Phoebe instead of Titan. 232 00:08:53,966 --> 00:08:56,202 It's, like, hello, Saturn, after ten moons, 233 00:08:56,235 --> 00:08:58,871 time to stop naming and start numbering, you know? 234 00:08:58,905 --> 00:09:01,173 What's — Wh-What's with you assholes? 235 00:09:01,207 --> 00:09:03,442 Morty, please, don't do this. 236 00:09:03,475 --> 00:09:04,577 [ Evil laugh ] 237 00:09:04,611 --> 00:09:06,879 [ Voice echoing ] Your Morty is gone! 238 00:09:06,913 --> 00:09:08,881 I am Voltamatron, Destroyer of Worlds! 239 00:09:08,916 --> 00:09:11,418 Grandpa Rick, there must be some scientific way to save him! 240 00:09:11,451 --> 00:09:13,519 Not scientific, but there may be a way. 241 00:09:13,552 --> 00:09:15,956 Morty, I know you're in there. It's me, your grandpa. 242 00:09:15,989 --> 00:09:17,957 I know I can be mean, but I love you, Morty. 243 00:09:17,990 --> 00:09:19,426 We all do, you gotta fight this thing. 244 00:09:19,458 --> 00:09:21,360 I know you can. You're stronger than all of us! 245 00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:23,562 Morty, it's mom! We love you, you have to fight it! 246 00:09:23,596 --> 00:09:26,133 Come on, Morty! Fight that stupid worm thing! 247 00:09:26,166 --> 00:09:27,634 We love you! [ Screaming ] 248 00:09:27,668 --> 00:09:28,936 We love you so much! 249 00:09:28,969 --> 00:09:30,370 Rick: Yes, Morty, come on, you're doing it! 250 00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:32,940 You're doing it! You're doing it! 251 00:09:32,972 --> 00:09:34,774 [ Gagging, coughing ] 252 00:09:34,807 --> 00:09:36,275 Should we pull it out? 253 00:09:36,308 --> 00:09:38,946 No, don't touch it. Just keep loving Morty! 254 00:09:38,979 --> 00:09:41,313 We still love you. 255 00:09:41,347 --> 00:09:42,982 But I do have a thing at 6:00. 256 00:09:43,015 --> 00:09:44,618 Oh, God, do I have to keep looking? 257 00:09:44,652 --> 00:09:46,919 Geez, Morty, come on, pinch it off already! 258 00:09:46,953 --> 00:09:49,221 [ Laughter ] [ Screaming ] 259 00:09:49,255 --> 00:09:52,091 Don't! Oh, God, sorry, Morty, I love you! 260 00:09:52,125 --> 00:09:53,592 [ Whimpering ] 261 00:09:53,626 --> 00:09:55,427 God, is there going to be an intermission? 262 00:09:55,461 --> 00:09:57,596 Excuse me, but I ordered the large evil space worm. 263 00:09:57,630 --> 00:09:59,499 I know, it's like, is that a demon slug 264 00:09:59,532 --> 00:10:01,268 in your stomach, or are you just happy to — 265 00:10:01,301 --> 00:10:03,336 [ Screaming ] Sorry! 266 00:10:03,370 --> 00:10:05,972 Well, I guess it's nice to know the whole family sucks! 267 00:10:06,005 --> 00:10:07,506 So if the blues ones are my fault, 268 00:10:07,539 --> 00:10:10,277 and the purple ones are my family's, what are the red ones? 269 00:10:10,309 --> 00:10:12,913 Yeah, d-don't read into it, Morty! 270 00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:14,447 [ Birds chirping ] 271 00:10:14,480 --> 00:10:15,783 Ahh. 272 00:10:15,816 --> 00:10:18,184 Shit! We need to find shelter before the sunset, Morty. 273 00:10:18,217 --> 00:10:20,687 Venzenulon Nine has a night temperature of 300 below! 274 00:10:20,721 --> 00:10:23,255 We'll freeze, Morty! W-We'll be dead in seconds! 275 00:10:23,289 --> 00:10:25,024 I — I think I saw a cave over there. 276 00:10:25,057 --> 00:10:26,625 You've seen too many movies, Morty. 277 00:10:26,659 --> 00:10:29,261 A cave isn't gonna cut it. We're gonna have to use Beebo. 278 00:10:29,296 --> 00:10:31,463 Beebo led us to water! He's our friend! 279 00:10:31,498 --> 00:10:33,767 - He won't even feel it! - Oh, no, no! 280 00:10:33,801 --> 00:10:36,302 [ Beebo groans ] 281 00:10:36,336 --> 00:10:39,105 You wanna die, Morty? Get in Beebo! 282 00:10:39,139 --> 00:10:41,841 Oh, no, no! 283 00:10:41,875 --> 00:10:44,010 Brace for the ice limit. 284 00:10:44,043 --> 00:10:46,645 Here it comes! 285 00:10:49,349 --> 00:10:53,286 Wait, are we on Venzenulon Nine or Venzenulon Seven? 286 00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:56,222 Wait a minute, why would I ask for that to be removed? 287 00:10:56,255 --> 00:10:58,557 Are the red ones stuff you wanted removed? 288 00:10:58,591 --> 00:11:01,260 Ooh, that's clever, Morty, but I don't use color to sort things 289 00:11:01,293 --> 00:11:03,363 because I'm not a mouse in a European children's book. 290 00:11:03,395 --> 00:11:05,532 Then why are all those pink ones by the liquor? 291 00:11:05,565 --> 00:11:07,134 Liquor? 292 00:11:07,167 --> 00:11:09,369 [ Ray guns blasting ] 293 00:11:12,873 --> 00:11:14,374 [ Both sigh ] 294 00:11:14,407 --> 00:11:16,509 Shit, that was close. We lost Captain Sky. 295 00:11:16,543 --> 00:11:18,311 He gave his life for the uprising. 296 00:11:18,345 --> 00:11:20,346 Yeah. It really makes you think, huh, Morty? 297 00:11:20,379 --> 00:11:22,349 We should never take things for granite. 298 00:11:22,381 --> 00:11:24,051 - What? - I'm just saying, life's short. 299 00:11:24,083 --> 00:11:25,552 We shouldn't take things for granite. 300 00:11:25,585 --> 00:11:27,855 - Are you saying "granite"? - Well, yeah. 301 00:11:27,888 --> 00:11:29,522 It's "granted," with a "D." 302 00:11:29,556 --> 00:11:32,424 Take things for granted. Did you actually think it was — 303 00:11:32,459 --> 00:11:34,094 [ Laughs ] Jesus Christ, Rick, 304 00:11:34,126 --> 00:11:36,163 what are you, a boulder — a rock person? 305 00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:38,197 How long have you been saying that wrong? 306 00:11:38,230 --> 00:11:39,499 Oh, you like that, huh? 307 00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:41,234 I b-b-bet that really blows your mind. 308 00:11:41,268 --> 00:11:42,701 I mean, yeah, it's kind of great. 309 00:11:42,735 --> 00:11:45,072 - You want me to erase it? - What, you can do that? 310 00:11:45,105 --> 00:11:47,706 [ Buzzing ] Ah, shit. 311 00:11:47,740 --> 00:11:49,709 I fuckin' knew it, you piece of shit! 312 00:11:49,743 --> 00:11:52,211 You — You — You're a fuckin' asshole, Rick! 313 00:11:52,245 --> 00:11:53,679 Take it easy, Morty, come on. Just relax. 314 00:11:53,712 --> 00:11:55,381 No, I'm not gonna fuckin' relax! Come here! 315 00:11:55,414 --> 00:11:57,049 Let go of me, you little bitch! 316 00:11:57,084 --> 00:11:58,951 I'm gonna grab you by the scruff of your — Take that! 317 00:11:58,985 --> 00:12:00,821 Ohh! 318 00:12:00,854 --> 00:12:02,422 - Umm. - Umm. Uhh. 319 00:12:02,455 --> 00:12:03,890 - What — - What's going on? 320 00:12:03,923 --> 00:12:05,192 - Where am I? - Who are we? 321 00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:06,393 Who am I? 322 00:12:06,426 --> 00:12:08,360 I think I'm an adolescent boy. 323 00:12:08,394 --> 00:12:10,629 Huh, and I'm an elderly man. 324 00:12:10,663 --> 00:12:15,067 And we appear to be in some kind of secret confined space. 325 00:12:15,101 --> 00:12:16,568 Yeah, umm... 326 00:12:16,602 --> 00:12:18,205 Don't look at me like that. 327 00:12:18,238 --> 00:12:20,273 For all we know, you could be the fuckin' weirdo. 328 00:12:22,674 --> 00:12:24,311 Huh, these things are obviously storage units, 329 00:12:24,344 --> 00:12:26,278 and since we can't remember what went wrong, 330 00:12:26,312 --> 00:12:29,149 my guess is that the technology involves memory, 331 00:12:29,182 --> 00:12:32,384 and that this thing on your head is designed to... 332 00:12:32,418 --> 00:12:34,053 Tell us the code, jagoff! 333 00:12:34,086 --> 00:12:35,654 [ Speaking alien language ] 334 00:12:35,687 --> 00:12:37,090 It's pointless. He's stonewalling. 335 00:12:37,124 --> 00:12:39,158 Rick, if we don't unlock those vaccines, Earth dies! 336 00:12:39,192 --> 00:12:41,293 You know, it might be time to step up your interrogation! 337 00:12:41,327 --> 00:12:42,962 Not sure what you're implying, Morty, 338 00:12:42,995 --> 00:12:44,798 but some lines I don't cross. 339 00:12:44,831 --> 00:12:46,633 Yeah, well, I crossed every line I had 340 00:12:46,665 --> 00:12:49,001 when this bastard tried to kill Jessica! 341 00:12:49,036 --> 00:12:50,937 [ Speaking alien language ] 342 00:12:50,971 --> 00:12:54,606 Okay, see those two fleshy sacs under his chin, Morty? 343 00:12:54,640 --> 00:12:56,676 Grab 'em. 344 00:12:56,709 --> 00:12:58,610 You remember the codes now? 345 00:12:58,644 --> 00:13:00,013 Twist! 346 00:13:00,047 --> 00:13:01,380 [ Screaming ] 347 00:13:01,413 --> 00:13:03,984 Give us the codes, man! Twist harder, Morty! 348 00:13:04,017 --> 00:13:05,952 Harder! [ Screaming ] 349 00:13:05,985 --> 00:13:08,187 Okay, let go, let go, let him breathe. 350 00:13:08,221 --> 00:13:09,856 [ Speaking alien language ] 351 00:13:09,889 --> 00:13:11,191 He wants to make a deal. 352 00:13:11,224 --> 00:13:13,326 Half the codes now, half after you finish. 353 00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:15,528 But can we trust — Wait, what? 354 00:13:15,562 --> 00:13:16,696 F-Finish what? 355 00:13:16,729 --> 00:13:17,931 Y-You know — 356 00:13:17,965 --> 00:13:19,466 I thought I was torturing him! 357 00:13:19,499 --> 00:13:20,833 Oh, and this disappoints you? 358 00:13:20,868 --> 00:13:22,701 Do I tell him we don't have a deal, Morty? 359 00:13:22,735 --> 00:13:24,370 Because if we can kill our enemies, 360 00:13:24,403 --> 00:13:26,874 but we can't jack them off, then how are we better than them? 361 00:13:26,907 --> 00:13:28,841 Well, what did you find out? 362 00:13:28,875 --> 00:13:30,610 We're partners, I guess, 363 00:13:30,643 --> 00:13:32,846 and we fight aliens, like "Men in Black"? 364 00:13:32,879 --> 00:13:34,713 "Men in Black," "Men in Black." 365 00:13:34,746 --> 00:13:36,615 I have "Men in Black 2" in here. 366 00:13:36,649 --> 00:13:38,118 So — So you get the general idea. 367 00:13:38,150 --> 00:13:39,552 [ Laughs ] Not quite. 368 00:13:39,586 --> 00:13:42,154 It's basically an endless string of callbacks to — 369 00:13:42,188 --> 00:13:45,424 All right, save it for Youtube. I'll keep looking for clues. 370 00:13:48,695 --> 00:13:49,863 What are you doing? 371 00:13:49,897 --> 00:13:51,530 You want your shelf level or not? 372 00:13:51,563 --> 00:13:54,301 And if I say yes, you're gonna provide that for me with that? 373 00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:55,368 Yes, see the bubble? 374 00:13:55,402 --> 00:13:57,004 I'm familiar with the bubble, Morty. 375 00:13:57,037 --> 00:13:58,905 I also dabble in precision, 376 00:13:58,938 --> 00:14:00,941 and if you think you can even approach it 377 00:14:00,974 --> 00:14:02,509 with your sad, naked, caveman eyeball 378 00:14:02,542 --> 00:14:05,211 and a bubble of fucking air, you're the reason this species 379 00:14:05,245 --> 00:14:07,179 is a failure, and it makes me angry! 380 00:14:07,214 --> 00:14:08,380 You're drunk. 381 00:14:08,414 --> 00:14:10,017 You want to put up a shelf, put up a shelf. 382 00:14:10,049 --> 00:14:12,219 You want to experience true level? 383 00:14:12,251 --> 00:14:15,121 Do you? [ Sighs dramatically ] Y-yes. 384 00:14:20,961 --> 00:14:23,763 [ Powering up ] 385 00:14:23,796 --> 00:14:26,599 Ugh, all right, come on. 386 00:14:26,633 --> 00:14:28,467 [ Sighs ] 387 00:14:33,306 --> 00:14:34,740 Wow, it's so — 388 00:14:34,774 --> 00:14:38,946 Oh, oh, oh, oh, my God, oh, Christ, ooh, ooh, ooh, ahh. 389 00:14:38,979 --> 00:14:41,548 Oh, yeah, true level, bitch. 390 00:14:41,581 --> 00:14:44,017 Morty, come on, we're leaving for school. 391 00:14:44,051 --> 00:14:46,253 Oh, everything's crooked! Reality is poison! 392 00:14:46,286 --> 00:14:48,020 I want to go back! I hate this! 393 00:14:48,054 --> 00:14:49,389 What's his deal? Can't live like this! 394 00:14:49,422 --> 00:14:51,024 Shh, shh, shh, shh, Morty, Morty, Morty. 395 00:14:51,057 --> 00:14:52,926 Go to school, Summer. I'll go in Morty's memory 396 00:14:52,960 --> 00:14:54,360 and do a little — [ Clicks tongue ] 397 00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:56,729 Lambs to the cosmic slaughter! 398 00:14:56,763 --> 00:14:58,130 Well? 399 00:14:58,164 --> 00:15:01,634 You seem to be in charge of what I get to remember. 400 00:15:01,668 --> 00:15:02,802 Why? 401 00:15:02,835 --> 00:15:04,437 Good question. 402 00:15:04,471 --> 00:15:07,139 Morty, I need darkness to prime these optical inductors. 403 00:15:07,173 --> 00:15:09,475 Hit the leftmost light switch by the door for me. 404 00:15:09,509 --> 00:15:10,777 The left. 405 00:15:10,809 --> 00:15:14,246 [ Click, click, click ] 406 00:15:17,985 --> 00:15:19,719 Okay, lights on. 407 00:15:19,751 --> 00:15:21,321 [ Sighs ] 408 00:15:21,354 --> 00:15:24,091 So, did I just hear three distinct light switch clicks? 409 00:15:24,124 --> 00:15:25,591 W-W-What do you mean? 410 00:15:25,625 --> 00:15:28,294 I feel like the three sounds I heard could be explained 411 00:15:28,327 --> 00:15:30,929 by an initial erroneous flipping of a switch on the right 412 00:15:30,963 --> 00:15:32,764 followed by a hasty, corrective flipping 413 00:15:32,798 --> 00:15:34,400 of the requested switch. 414 00:15:34,433 --> 00:15:36,668 Then during the resultant darkness and silence, a third, 415 00:15:36,702 --> 00:15:39,639 shameful unflipping of the initially flipped switch. 416 00:15:39,672 --> 00:15:41,341 Is my assessment accurate? 417 00:15:41,374 --> 00:15:44,677 Yeah, that's — that's basically how — how it all shaked out. 418 00:15:44,711 --> 00:15:45,912 I'm sorry. 419 00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:48,148 Ugh. All right, come on. 420 00:15:48,181 --> 00:15:51,150 What? Come on! 421 00:15:56,722 --> 00:15:59,525 [ High-pitched tone ] 422 00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:06,298 [ Click, tone ends ] Grab a shovel. 423 00:16:06,332 --> 00:16:08,034 W-What is — 424 00:16:08,067 --> 00:16:10,437 Grab a shovel! 425 00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:11,770 [ Click ] 426 00:16:11,803 --> 00:16:13,405 What was that? 427 00:16:15,241 --> 00:16:18,211 I can't find a goddamn zip tie anywhere! 428 00:16:18,245 --> 00:16:20,647 All right, fuck it! 429 00:16:20,679 --> 00:16:22,115 [ Beeping ] 430 00:16:22,149 --> 00:16:25,217 [ Magnetizing ] 431 00:16:25,251 --> 00:16:27,519 Ahh, zip tie. 432 00:16:27,553 --> 00:16:29,522 [ Powering down ] 433 00:16:31,857 --> 00:16:33,893 [ Beeping ] 434 00:16:33,926 --> 00:16:35,562 [ Magnetizing ] 435 00:16:35,595 --> 00:16:38,398 [ Women screaming ] 436 00:16:44,003 --> 00:16:45,738 Why are you making me do this for you again? 437 00:16:45,772 --> 00:16:48,307 Who doesn't wish they could talk to animals, Rick? 438 00:16:48,341 --> 00:16:49,408 Most humans! 439 00:16:49,442 --> 00:16:51,510 There, I'm done, just stay out of trouble! 440 00:16:52,912 --> 00:16:54,413 Gotta keep moving. Can't stop. 441 00:16:54,447 --> 00:16:56,482 Up, down, down, up, up, up, down, up, stop, down. 442 00:16:56,515 --> 00:16:58,518 The queen needs food. The babies need food. 443 00:16:58,551 --> 00:17:00,653 The queen makes babies. 444 00:17:00,687 --> 00:17:02,188 The situation in Argentina 445 00:17:02,221 --> 00:17:03,889 has proven less convenient than predicted. 446 00:17:03,923 --> 00:17:06,025 We'll have to re-destabilize their economy, 447 00:17:06,058 --> 00:17:08,327 refocus labor class outrage from upper to middle, 448 00:17:08,361 --> 00:17:10,762 foster a coup, and install a compliant regime. 449 00:17:10,797 --> 00:17:11,931 Same as Guatemala? 450 00:17:11,963 --> 00:17:13,165 Yes, but you can double time it. 451 00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:14,601 We need a quorum to pick a new pope, 452 00:17:14,634 --> 00:17:16,702 in case the Exxon/Monsanto thing falls through in Africa. 453 00:17:16,736 --> 00:17:19,239 Why not use chemtrails? Put a canopy on Uganda. 454 00:17:19,271 --> 00:17:21,240 They're set to agitate any mo— What? 455 00:17:21,273 --> 00:17:23,009 That kid is watching us. 456 00:17:23,041 --> 00:17:25,178 So, we're squirrels, he's a kid. 457 00:17:25,211 --> 00:17:27,946 He's watching us like he hears what we're saying. 458 00:17:27,980 --> 00:17:30,549 Hey, kid. Young man? Come here, little boy. 459 00:17:30,583 --> 00:17:33,552 Tell Daphne to run a 199 on a possible Dolittle. 460 00:17:33,586 --> 00:17:34,721 Little boy! 461 00:17:34,753 --> 00:17:36,522 We'll give you wishes if you can hear us! 462 00:17:36,556 --> 00:17:38,625 We can make you fly and get candy. 463 00:17:38,657 --> 00:17:40,960 [ Squirrels chittering ] 464 00:17:43,663 --> 00:17:46,199 [ Whistling ] 465 00:17:46,232 --> 00:17:49,035 Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck! Fuck me! Fuck me! 466 00:17:49,067 --> 00:17:51,403 [ Panting ] Rick! 467 00:17:51,438 --> 00:17:53,806 Ah, shit, Morty, what did you do? 468 00:17:53,839 --> 00:17:56,608 [ Powering up ] 469 00:17:56,643 --> 00:17:57,876 [ Zap! ] 470 00:17:57,910 --> 00:17:59,211 [ Squirrels screeching ] 471 00:17:59,246 --> 00:18:00,747 All right, Morty, pack your shit! 472 00:18:00,779 --> 00:18:02,615 That's only gonna keep 'em down for a little bit, Morty! 473 00:18:02,648 --> 00:18:04,151 You fucked with squirrels, Morty! 474 00:18:04,183 --> 00:18:05,585 We got a good five minutes 475 00:18:05,617 --> 00:18:07,386 before they're backing up on our ass, Morty! 476 00:18:07,420 --> 00:18:09,655 We have to pack up and move to a new reality, Morty! 477 00:18:09,689 --> 00:18:12,057 You know I said we could only do that a couple of times! 478 00:18:12,090 --> 00:18:15,327 We're fucked over here because of these damn squirrels, Morty! 479 00:18:15,362 --> 00:18:17,329 I don't know what my reaction is, 480 00:18:17,364 --> 00:18:19,499 but I think I'm mounting in suspicion of you. 481 00:18:19,531 --> 00:18:22,602 - Well, what are you gonna do? - I'm gonna remember everything! 482 00:18:22,634 --> 00:18:24,671 Everything! 483 00:18:24,703 --> 00:18:27,507 [ Screams ] [ Laughs ] 484 00:18:27,539 --> 00:18:28,674 [ Screams ] 485 00:18:28,708 --> 00:18:31,344 [ Farts ] [ Laughs ] 486 00:18:31,377 --> 00:18:33,480 Yeah! 487 00:18:33,512 --> 00:18:37,483 ♪♪ 488 00:18:37,517 --> 00:18:40,853 Ow! 489 00:18:40,886 --> 00:18:42,855 Ah! 490 00:18:42,888 --> 00:18:45,023 Ow! 491 00:18:45,057 --> 00:18:46,792 [ Crying ] 492 00:18:46,826 --> 00:18:53,700 ♪♪ 493 00:18:53,732 --> 00:18:55,501 Well, what'd you find out? 494 00:18:55,535 --> 00:18:57,604 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what are you gonna do, kill me? 495 00:18:57,636 --> 00:19:00,373 No, I'm not gonna kill you. I'm gonna kill myself! 496 00:19:00,406 --> 00:19:02,275 All those memories just erased! 497 00:19:02,308 --> 00:19:04,376 Sitting in this room collecting dust! 498 00:19:04,411 --> 00:19:07,346 W-What's the point of going on if most of everything 499 00:19:07,380 --> 00:19:09,949 that happens just ends up sitting in here? 500 00:19:09,981 --> 00:19:11,983 All right, kid. 501 00:19:12,018 --> 00:19:14,721 I don't know much aside from the fact that "Men in Black 2" 502 00:19:14,753 --> 00:19:17,457 is a joyless cash grab, but I do know that whatever you have 503 00:19:17,490 --> 00:19:19,892 brewing around in your noggin really connected with you. 504 00:19:19,925 --> 00:19:21,394 I can't deny that, 505 00:19:21,428 --> 00:19:23,863 and I can't deny that I'm inspired by your passion. 506 00:19:23,895 --> 00:19:25,565 I want in. Suicide pact! 507 00:19:25,597 --> 00:19:27,534 [ Ray gun powers up ] Yes, yeah, let's do it! 508 00:19:27,567 --> 00:19:30,537 Together, you old son of a bitch! On three! 509 00:19:30,569 --> 00:19:31,738 One... 510 00:19:31,770 --> 00:19:32,904 Two... 511 00:19:32,939 --> 00:19:35,741 You guys doing Morty's Mind Blowers? 512 00:19:35,775 --> 00:19:37,743 Morty's Mind Blowers? 513 00:19:37,777 --> 00:19:40,247 [ Sighs ] Grandpa, is this scenario three? 514 00:19:40,279 --> 00:19:42,848 Uh, w-what's that, and w-who are you? 515 00:19:42,882 --> 00:19:45,785 Oh, man, it's a scenario four. 516 00:19:51,458 --> 00:19:52,659 [ Spits ] 517 00:19:52,692 --> 00:19:54,594 [ Dart gun shooting ] 518 00:20:02,269 --> 00:20:04,503 Ugh, fucking goddamn it! 519 00:20:04,537 --> 00:20:07,339 I don't get paid enough for this shit! 520 00:20:07,374 --> 00:20:11,009 There's a Craftsman nearby. I can smell it. 521 00:20:11,042 --> 00:20:13,045 Whoa, what — what — 522 00:20:13,078 --> 00:20:14,614 Can I help you? 523 00:20:14,646 --> 00:20:16,516 H-How did we fall asleep during interdimensional cable? 524 00:20:16,548 --> 00:20:18,250 - Yeah, what the hell, Summer? - Summer, you dumb bitch! 525 00:20:18,285 --> 00:20:19,951 How long were we out, you dumb bitch! 526 00:20:19,986 --> 00:20:21,788 How much interdimensional cable did we miss, you stupid bitch! 527 00:20:21,820 --> 00:20:23,890 How many improv TV shows with commercials did we miss, Summer? 528 00:20:23,923 --> 00:20:25,692 Why did you let us fall asleep? You dumb bitch! You stupid bitch! 529 00:20:25,724 --> 00:20:27,294 All right, Morty, fuck this noise. 530 00:20:27,326 --> 00:20:28,861 Let's get out of here and go on a classic 531 00:20:28,894 --> 00:20:31,063 Rick and Morty adventure. - Yeah, right, Rick, I'm all-in. 532 00:20:31,096 --> 00:20:32,964 No wonder you're constantly fighting 533 00:20:32,999 --> 00:20:34,901 with each other and behind schedule. 534 00:20:34,933 --> 00:20:36,603 What? Nothing. 535 00:20:36,635 --> 00:20:46,613 ♪♪ 536 00:20:46,645 --> 00:20:56,623 ♪♪ 537 00:20:56,655 --> 00:21:03,829 ♪♪ 538 00:21:03,863 --> 00:21:05,163 Rick? Hello? 539 00:21:05,196 --> 00:21:06,898 Just here for my putter. 540 00:21:06,932 --> 00:21:10,135 Jerry's Mind Blowers? 541 00:21:10,169 --> 00:21:13,405 ♪♪ 542 00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:15,674 Follow the boys! 543 00:21:15,708 --> 00:21:19,578 ♪♪ 544 00:21:19,612 --> 00:21:21,413 We're charged and aimed at Alpha Centauri, 545 00:21:21,448 --> 00:21:23,349 ready for transport. 546 00:21:23,383 --> 00:21:26,018 They fell for it! Let's send Gobo home! 547 00:21:26,051 --> 00:21:27,453 [ Laughter ] All right! 548 00:21:27,487 --> 00:21:29,288 - Where's dad? - He should be here any second. 549 00:21:29,321 --> 00:21:31,423 It's funny, Jerry spent his life seeking attention, 550 00:21:31,458 --> 00:21:33,859 but in the end, humanity's instinctive dismissal of him 551 00:21:33,893 --> 00:21:35,193 saved an alien's life. 552 00:21:35,227 --> 00:21:37,028 He knows where to go, right? 553 00:21:37,063 --> 00:21:38,931 Yep, any minute now. 554 00:21:38,964 --> 00:21:42,868 [ Music playing ] 555 00:21:42,902 --> 00:21:44,703 Did it work? Did you guys get Gobo home? 556 00:21:44,737 --> 00:21:47,440 You have Gobo! You were supposed to bring him to the hill! 557 00:21:47,473 --> 00:21:49,208 As if. He was in your basket. 558 00:21:49,240 --> 00:21:50,977 He was in your car! 559 00:21:51,009 --> 00:21:53,680 [ Chewing ] 560 00:21:55,247 --> 00:21:56,449 Oh! 561 00:21:56,482 --> 00:21:58,684 Oof! Dibs on his stuff. 562 00:22:00,086 --> 00:22:01,721 Did you get any of that?