1
00:00:07,703 --> 00:00:09,139
It came as a shock to many...
2
00:00:09,183 --> 00:00:11,141
But with the power vacuum
left by the heartless
3
00:00:11,185 --> 00:00:12,708
consumption of our dictator,
4
00:00:12,751 --> 00:00:14,840
we shall impose even
more Draconian cookie law,
5
00:00:14,884 --> 00:00:16,712
one be-cookieing at a time!
6
00:00:16,755 --> 00:00:19,845
Hah!
7
00:00:19,889 --> 00:00:21,499
Oh, thank you!
8
00:00:21,543 --> 00:00:23,762
They took power immediately
after you and your grandpa left.
9
00:00:23,806 --> 00:00:25,851
Err sorry about that,
Rick doesn't really do
10
00:00:25,895 --> 00:00:28,202
'transition plans,'
I-I think he was just hungry.
11
00:00:28,245 --> 00:00:31,422
Well, now with you here, perhaps
a new system of government?
12
00:00:31,466 --> 00:00:33,598
King Morty --Sorry, look I gotta run,
13
00:00:33,642 --> 00:00:34,860
I-I'm sure
you guys'll figure it out,
14
00:00:34,904 --> 00:00:39,082
I-I believe in you!
15
00:00:39,126 --> 00:00:41,954
Morty! Can you help us
with this UFO-shaped hole?
16
00:00:41,998 --> 00:00:43,521
Sure, geez, but y'know
only because
17
00:00:43,565 --> 00:00:44,740
I was in
the neighborhood.
18
00:00:49,397 --> 00:00:51,051
Morty, thank God!
19
00:00:51,094 --> 00:00:53,705
The beast emerged right
after your grandpa left
20
00:00:53,749 --> 00:00:57,535
and its gem went missing --Geez, that is
a crazy coincidence
21
00:00:57,579 --> 00:01:00,364
that I-I if I were you,
probably just best left alone.
22
00:01:00,408 --> 00:01:02,366
He's right.
We-We should celebrate.
23
00:01:02,410 --> 00:01:03,715
Feast?
No time.
24
00:01:03,759 --> 00:01:05,065
S-S-Sounds
pretty classic though,
25
00:01:05,108 --> 00:01:06,762
don't let me hold you up!
26
00:01:09,678 --> 00:01:12,594
Son of a bitch.
He marked it.
27
00:01:29,828 --> 00:01:31,743
Ah!
28
00:01:31,787 --> 00:01:33,354
Phew.
29
00:01:35,443 --> 00:01:39,316
Hah.
30
00:01:39,360 --> 00:01:40,796
What the --
31
00:01:44,626 --> 00:01:45,801
Hey, what the hell?
32
00:01:45,844 --> 00:01:47,281
Agh! Jesus!
33
00:01:47,324 --> 00:01:48,673
You got some of that green stuff
on you too, huh?
34
00:01:48,717 --> 00:01:50,458
Th-Th-This is bad.
Th-This is really bad.
35
00:01:50,501 --> 00:01:52,242
Hey, how do you think
I feel?
36
00:01:52,286 --> 00:01:55,115
I had the ultimate stash hole
and now I got a kid in my thigh.
37
00:02:27,321 --> 00:02:29,453
Look, you seem like a perfectly
nice guy in my hand hole,
38
00:02:29,497 --> 00:02:32,978
but if I can't sort this out
I'm dead --
39
00:02:33,022 --> 00:02:34,632
What the hell, dude?
Gross.
40
00:02:34,676 --> 00:02:36,721
I-I-I was just trying to... You're just trying to what?
41
00:02:36,765 --> 00:02:38,288
Where'd this stuff
come from?
42
00:02:38,332 --> 00:02:40,290
Garbage Goober, get out here
and eat this garbage.
43
00:02:40,334 --> 00:02:43,815
Mmm, trash, I love trash,
yum yum trash,
44
00:02:43,859 --> 00:02:45,991
I wanna eat trash --Hell yeah,
I love that lil guy.
45
00:02:46,035 --> 00:02:47,471
Wait a minute.
46
00:02:47,515 --> 00:02:49,995
Is that Mountain Dew in my
quantum transport solution?
47
00:02:50,039 --> 00:02:51,301
I-I saw you were marking
the levels
48
00:02:51,345 --> 00:02:53,521
so I-I had to top it off."Top it off?"
49
00:02:53,564 --> 00:02:55,653
Do you know how dangerously
toxic this stuff is?
50
00:02:55,697 --> 00:02:57,481
And you added it
to my portal fluid?!
51
00:02:57,525 --> 00:02:59,091
Only because
you don't trust me!
52
00:02:59,135 --> 00:03:00,484
Oh, that's great logic,
Morty --
53
00:03:00,528 --> 00:03:02,660
forgive me for not doing
the kissy chef gesture
54
00:03:02,704 --> 00:03:04,314
since you probably spilled
this shit everywhere
55
00:03:04,358 --> 00:03:05,663
and I don't want
to teleport my lips.
56
00:03:05,707 --> 00:03:07,230
I did I did not spill it!
57
00:03:07,274 --> 00:03:08,884
I won't take your word for that
and I shouldn't have to,
58
00:03:08,927 --> 00:03:10,581
which is why
I have sidekick rules.
59
00:03:10,625 --> 00:03:12,322
If you can't follow them --
60
00:03:12,366 --> 00:03:14,324
I can be replaced, yeah, yeah,
so you keep telling me.
61
00:03:14,368 --> 00:03:16,848
Excuse me? Did you just try to
call my bluff?
62
00:03:16,892 --> 00:03:18,198
Have you ever seen me bluff?
63
00:03:18,241 --> 00:03:19,547
Fine.
You know what, replace me!
64
00:03:19,590 --> 00:03:21,201
Replace me, Rick!
Just do it.
65
00:03:21,244 --> 00:03:22,680
Good luck finding someone
that can be told
66
00:03:22,724 --> 00:03:24,334
80 thousand times
how replaceable they are!
67
00:03:24,378 --> 00:03:27,032
Okay. I'll see your bluff call
and raise you reality.
68
00:03:27,076 --> 00:03:29,121
I can't pretend I haven't been
looking forward to this.
69
00:03:29,165 --> 00:03:31,559
Behold my Wheel of Better
Things Than Morty.
70
00:03:31,602 --> 00:03:34,039
Wh-What are you eight?
I-Is this macaroni art?
71
00:03:34,083 --> 00:03:35,258
You expect me to believe
you built this
72
00:03:35,302 --> 00:03:36,868
because you don't care?
73
00:03:36,912 --> 00:03:38,522
No, I built this because
I don't expect shit from you.
74
00:03:38,566 --> 00:03:39,784
Come on, anything!
75
00:03:39,828 --> 00:03:41,221
Anything but Morty,
let's go!
76
00:03:41,264 --> 00:03:42,526
Come on baby,
no whammies!
77
00:03:42,570 --> 00:03:43,962
Duh-duh-duh-duh stop!
78
00:03:44,006 --> 00:03:45,442
Okay, that's it.
Two crows.
79
00:03:45,486 --> 00:03:47,052
-You're fired!
-You know what? Eat shit.
80
00:03:47,096 --> 00:03:48,271
You're just trying
to make me feel worthless.
81
00:03:48,315 --> 00:03:49,881
I never said
you're worthless.
82
00:03:49,925 --> 00:03:51,448
In fact, I've given you a very
83
00:03:51,492 --> 00:03:52,884
Two crows.
84
00:03:52,928 --> 00:03:54,712
Note I didn't say three!
85
00:03:54,756 --> 00:03:57,585
Man, that is not
a healthy relationship.
86
00:03:57,628 --> 00:03:59,543
I hope you don't mind me
eavesdropping.
87
00:03:59,587 --> 00:04:00,805
Maybe we can figure out
some sort of
88
00:04:00,849 --> 00:04:02,546
sound-proof bandage solution.
89
00:04:02,590 --> 00:04:04,896
Hey did Garbage Goober
eat my porno magazines?
90
00:04:04,940 --> 00:04:06,550
So, were you like,
a friend of Rick's?
91
00:04:06,594 --> 00:04:08,552
-Were you?
-Good question.
92
00:04:08,596 --> 00:04:10,554
W-What's he doing, i-is
he out there making sure
93
00:04:10,598 --> 00:04:12,817
you see him collecting
two crows?
94
00:04:12,861 --> 00:04:15,080
And now you're thinking, gee,
maybe if he cares enough
95
00:04:15,124 --> 00:04:16,386
to hurt me this bad...
96
00:04:16,430 --> 00:04:18,388
dot dot dot.
97
00:04:18,432 --> 00:04:19,650
Break the cycle, Morty.
98
00:04:19,694 --> 00:04:21,913
Change the things
that you can change.
99
00:04:21,957 --> 00:04:26,788
That's what I did.
And now I'm free.
100
00:04:26,831 --> 00:04:28,920
Only cramming six years
into six minutes, fellas.
101
00:04:28,964 --> 00:04:33,621
Take your time!
102
00:04:33,664 --> 00:04:35,100
Now that's what
I'm talking about!
103
00:04:35,144 --> 00:04:36,928
If ya nail this next one,
I've got bird quaaludes.
104
00:04:36,972 --> 00:04:38,582
And I might even share.
105
00:04:38,626 --> 00:04:40,280
Y-You know you can stop
doing that for my benefit.
106
00:04:40,323 --> 00:04:42,586
Y'know or-or keep doing it.
Doesn't matter. I'm out.
107
00:04:42,630 --> 00:04:44,936
-I'm walking away.
-Wait. Morty. Don't go.
108
00:04:44,980 --> 00:04:46,851
Not until you see this!
109
00:04:46,895 --> 00:04:48,984
Commence bird on a wire!
110
00:04:52,814 --> 00:04:55,599
Yeeeeaaaahhhhh!
111
00:04:55,643 --> 00:04:58,123
Jerk.
112
00:04:58,167 --> 00:04:59,516
Hey, let's hang out.
113
00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:01,518
We're like brothers now,
we both got away y'know,
114
00:05:01,562 --> 00:05:02,867
w-where are you at?
115
00:05:02,911 --> 00:05:04,216
Ooh, you know what,
shoot, can't.
116
00:05:04,260 --> 00:05:06,610
I'm an alien, um, so --That's okay,
117
00:05:06,654 --> 00:05:07,959
Rick turned my bike
into a spaceship
118
00:05:08,003 --> 00:05:09,613
for "solo adventures"
like picking up
119
00:05:09,657 --> 00:05:11,136
his Venusian foot ointment.
120
00:05:11,180 --> 00:05:13,138
God I'm seeing it
so clearly now.
121
00:05:17,882 --> 00:05:19,623
Oh. Wait.
I-It says here you're on Earth.
122
00:05:19,667 --> 00:05:21,799
Yeah. Ah.
Don't come here.
Why not?
123
00:05:21,843 --> 00:05:23,801
Look, I-I get it, my room
is sometimes messy too,
124
00:05:23,845 --> 00:05:26,456
I'll-I'll pick you up
right outside your...
125
00:05:26,500 --> 00:05:28,850
-...mental asylum.
-Busted.
126
00:05:28,893 --> 00:05:30,460
You literally
said "I'm free."
127
00:05:30,504 --> 00:05:33,463
I'm literally not free.
128
00:05:33,507 --> 00:05:35,987
Stop!
That's my blanket!
129
00:05:36,031 --> 00:05:37,380
How do you know Rick?
130
00:05:37,424 --> 00:05:38,729
Look I came to your place
with him one night
131
00:05:38,773 --> 00:05:40,035
after the bar closed.
132
00:05:40,078 --> 00:05:41,819
I started messing around
in your garage
133
00:05:41,863 --> 00:05:44,648
and I spilled that portal stuff
on me and he...
134
00:05:44,692 --> 00:05:46,694
kind of launched me
to Australia...
135
00:05:46,737 --> 00:05:49,174
like with this weirdly
primitive catapult, but --
136
00:05:49,218 --> 00:05:51,263
but the ammunition is
an airtight carbon chamber,
137
00:05:51,307 --> 00:05:53,483
yeah, that-that -- that's how
we lost our cable guy.
138
00:05:53,527 --> 00:05:55,485
Anyways, that kind of
experience shakes you up.
139
00:05:55,529 --> 00:05:59,663
So, sorry I misled you,
have a nice life.
140
00:05:59,707 --> 00:06:01,535
Nick.
You got a visitor.
141
00:06:08,890 --> 00:06:10,282
Damn,
what happened to you?
142
00:06:10,326 --> 00:06:12,502
The guards like to beat us
on Sundays.
143
00:06:12,546 --> 00:06:14,939
Still better
-than Mondays.
-Geez, what happens then?
144
00:06:14,983 --> 00:06:16,854
They lick our faces
when we're tied down.
145
00:06:16,898 --> 00:06:18,421
-Plus it's meat loaf day.
-Well...
146
00:06:18,465 --> 00:06:20,205
-you're leaving now, buddy.
-Whoa, whoa, whoa!
147
00:06:20,249 --> 00:06:22,033
I-I swiped 'em off the guard
on my way in.
148
00:06:22,077 --> 00:06:25,602
I-I mean, sure, yeah, I could
undo my lock, but then what?
149
00:06:25,646 --> 00:06:27,430
After the smartest guy
in the world's done with ya,
150
00:06:27,474 --> 00:06:28,953
it's kinda hard
to find a footing again.
151
00:06:28,997 --> 00:06:30,390
That's why I need
to get you out of here.
152
00:06:30,433 --> 00:06:32,087
We're not
the problem, he is.
153
00:06:32,130 --> 00:06:36,918
And if you can have a fresh
start, then maybe I can too.
154
00:06:36,961 --> 00:06:38,223
It's not like
it's a prison break.
155
00:06:38,267 --> 00:06:39,703
We're just leaving, like,
a hospital
156
00:06:39,747 --> 00:06:41,226
that wants to help you
extra bad.
157
00:06:41,270 --> 00:06:44,708
Follow me!
158
00:06:44,752 --> 00:06:47,755
Hey get back here,
you better open this door!
159
00:06:49,670 --> 00:06:52,237
I can fly!
Keep running, Nick.
160
00:06:52,281 --> 00:06:54,457
The more you sweat,
the saltier your cheeks.
161
00:06:54,501 --> 00:06:56,241
-Lick this!
-Thanks, Morty.
162
00:06:56,285 --> 00:06:59,941
That dude's got a tongue
like a cat.
163
00:06:59,984 --> 00:07:01,421
Stop those Portal Boys!
164
00:07:01,464 --> 00:07:04,424
Did you hear that?
That's gonna stick!
165
00:07:04,467 --> 00:07:06,556
Damn.
Just like Jackie Chan!
166
00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:08,732
Hah! I guess that makes me
Chris Tucker.
167
00:07:08,776 --> 00:07:10,386
I-I guess?
168
00:07:13,128 --> 00:07:14,782
Gonna get you!
169
00:07:22,964 --> 00:07:24,487
Holy shit!
Did you see that?
170
00:07:24,531 --> 00:07:25,923
I mean you blinded a guy
with puke!
171
00:07:25,967 --> 00:07:27,142
Oh, it was insane.
172
00:07:27,185 --> 00:07:28,970
-Gimme dap.
-Am I doing it right?
173
00:07:29,013 --> 00:07:30,362
D-D-Did
I give you a dap yet?
174
00:07:30,406 --> 00:07:31,755
Look at us.
We got out.
175
00:07:31,799 --> 00:07:33,931
And not just from the asylum
but from Rick.
176
00:07:33,975 --> 00:07:36,281
You get to say
what an adventure is now.
177
00:07:36,325 --> 00:07:37,674
You still got that list?
178
00:07:37,718 --> 00:07:39,328
Dude, we can't do that stuff
without Rick's tech.
179
00:07:39,371 --> 00:07:44,464
Then it's time the Portal Boys
get themselves a portal gun.
180
00:07:44,507 --> 00:07:45,813
Remember your training,
crows.
181
00:07:45,856 --> 00:07:47,858
The idol should be
around that corner!
182
00:07:54,561 --> 00:07:56,301
Do you guys just follow training
when you feel like it?
183
00:07:56,345 --> 00:07:58,608
That's not being trained,
that's being dicks.
184
00:08:00,175 --> 00:08:02,830
Ah, now I see.
The real treasure is empathy.
185
00:08:02,873 --> 00:08:05,049
And that's worth way
more than any knick-knack.
186
00:08:05,093 --> 00:08:08,966
You guys just earned yourselves
another adventure!
187
00:08:09,010 --> 00:08:10,490
The adventure is,
you're fired.
188
00:08:10,533 --> 00:08:12,492
Sorry, guys, if I wanted
another bleeding heart,
189
00:08:12,535 --> 00:08:15,625
I'd inject reanimator serum into
an actual bleeding heart.
190
00:08:15,669 --> 00:08:17,322
Relax,
this is an avian planet
191
00:08:17,366 --> 00:08:18,976
with 40 million
species of bird,
192
00:08:19,020 --> 00:08:20,369
even one day of working
under me
193
00:08:20,412 --> 00:08:22,371
will make you apex geniuses
down there.
194
00:08:22,414 --> 00:08:23,894
Now hop into these
pneumatic canisters
195
00:08:23,938 --> 00:08:26,593
they used to use at bank
drive-thrus in the '70s.
196
00:08:35,427 --> 00:08:37,560
What the...
Hey! Who's tractor beaming me?!
197
00:08:37,604 --> 00:08:39,562
Nobody tractor beams me --
198
00:08:39,606 --> 00:08:42,870
Nobody descrambles my tractor
beam scrambler to boot.
199
00:08:45,873 --> 00:08:47,831
Sorry for
the tractor beaming,
200
00:08:47,875 --> 00:08:50,051
but did you lose
these two crows?
201
00:08:50,094 --> 00:08:52,183
Oh, uh, yeah, no
I-I dropped 'em off 'cause
202
00:08:52,227 --> 00:08:53,881
I-I can't hold
a candle to them.
203
00:08:53,924 --> 00:08:56,231
Y'know it s-seemed like
a -- the decent thing to do.
204
00:08:56,274 --> 00:08:58,668
Be your crows.
Train yourself.
205
00:08:58,712 --> 00:09:00,278
Crows are then trained.
206
00:09:00,322 --> 00:09:02,106
I'm open to what
you're describing if it's easier
207
00:09:02,150 --> 00:09:04,456
than wiping an unearned smirk
off my grandson's face.
208
00:09:04,500 --> 00:09:06,894
-W-What do I do?
-Look at your crows.
209
00:09:06,937 --> 00:09:08,417
Be your crows.
210
00:09:08,460 --> 00:09:09,853
God I am so glad
I'm a primate.
211
00:09:09,897 --> 00:09:12,595
Fine.
Looking at my crows.
212
00:09:12,639 --> 00:09:14,858
We train ourselves
to stop training.
213
00:09:14,902 --> 00:09:18,383
The trained are untrained,
we are untrained.
214
00:09:18,427 --> 00:09:20,603
All training is complete.
215
00:09:20,647 --> 00:09:22,866
Because no training
was needed.
216
00:09:38,099 --> 00:09:40,101
My God.
I-I get it, now.
217
00:09:40,144 --> 00:09:43,887
We are gonna shove this crow
shit down Morty's throat!
218
00:09:43,931 --> 00:09:45,585
Nick, m-maybe
this isn't a good idea.
219
00:09:45,628 --> 00:09:47,412
L-Like what if
he catches us?
220
00:09:47,456 --> 00:09:49,414
He could trap me in
-a Matrix again.
-Listen to yourself.
221
00:09:49,458 --> 00:09:51,068
We wouldn't even be
in this situation
222
00:09:51,112 --> 00:09:54,245
if the dude hadn't
fucked us both over.
223
00:09:54,289 --> 00:09:55,638
Damn it.
He must be showing the gun off
224
00:09:55,682 --> 00:09:57,727
to his stupid crows --
i-it's not fair!
225
00:09:57,771 --> 00:10:00,730
It's okay, we can still liberate
all this other stuff.
226
00:10:00,774 --> 00:10:02,732
Let's only grab
what we need, though.
227
00:10:02,776 --> 00:10:04,429
Oh, no. Shit.
That's Rick's can crusher!
228
00:10:04,473 --> 00:10:06,083
H-He spent three weeks
perfecting that.
229
00:10:06,127 --> 00:10:09,086
Morty, buddy, you forget
that we're in this together.
230
00:10:09,130 --> 00:10:11,828
Besides, tell me that didn't
feel the slightest bit good.
231
00:10:11,872 --> 00:10:14,178
I mean yeah, but w-we
can't do that again.
232
00:10:14,222 --> 00:10:15,832
Why the hell not?
233
00:10:18,966 --> 00:10:20,532
Whoa!
234
00:10:20,576 --> 00:10:22,926
Haha!
235
00:10:22,970 --> 00:10:24,493
Here we go, bitch!
236
00:10:24,536 --> 00:10:26,930
Son, have you fallen in
with a weird stranger
237
00:10:26,974 --> 00:10:29,846
and are now trashing
your grandpa's place?
238
00:10:29,890 --> 00:10:32,675
'Cause I'll help!
239
00:10:32,719 --> 00:10:34,851
Dad?
Psh, whatever, man.
240
00:10:34,895 --> 00:10:36,940
Ah. Yeah!
Yeah!
Now eat my ass, Rick!
241
00:10:36,984 --> 00:10:39,639
Suck it, Sanchez!
242
00:10:39,682 --> 00:10:41,118
Morty, is that
what I think it is?
243
00:10:41,162 --> 00:10:42,859
I mean, it's the equivalent
of an iPhone 3
244
00:10:42,903 --> 00:10:46,123
And it's empty but it means
the Portal Boys be portal-ing!
245
00:10:46,167 --> 00:10:47,516
Rick incoming.
246
00:10:47,559 --> 00:10:48,952
Oh, crap,
we better skedaddle!
247
00:10:48,996 --> 00:10:50,475
Moooooorty.
248
00:10:50,519 --> 00:10:52,129
But what about my dad,
he-he's like a-a...
249
00:10:52,173 --> 00:10:53,653
-puddle.
-You heard the garage,
250
00:10:53,696 --> 00:10:55,306
Rick'll turn him back
into a solid when he gets here!
251
00:10:55,350 --> 00:10:56,873
Sorry, Dad,
gotta go be heroes.
252
00:10:56,917 --> 00:10:58,832
G-Gonna take your car,
love you!
253
00:11:04,402 --> 00:11:06,709
That's us down there
with the poop brown roof.
254
00:11:15,718 --> 00:11:18,242
-What is that?
-Oh. Ha. That?
255
00:11:18,286 --> 00:11:19,722
T-That's...nothing.
256
00:11:19,766 --> 00:11:22,725
But I see "Two Crows"
written right here beside...
257
00:11:22,769 --> 00:11:26,207
Gene with donkey brains,
half a Paul Giamatti, and...
258
00:11:26,250 --> 00:11:27,687
sentient shit.
259
00:11:27,730 --> 00:11:30,341
I guess the "joke" being
that crows are stupid?
260
00:11:30,385 --> 00:11:32,169
I think it's a little more
nuanced than that.
261
00:11:32,213 --> 00:11:33,605
Right,
because you just learned
262
00:11:33,649 --> 00:11:35,564
empathy from us
10 minutes ago
263
00:11:35,607 --> 00:11:38,045
but now we're going to learn
we don't get your humor?
264
00:11:38,088 --> 00:11:39,524
Fucking horse shit.
265
00:11:39,568 --> 00:11:41,396
Yeah, there's not a ton
to "get," genius,
266
00:11:41,439 --> 00:11:44,704
the "joke" is your grandson
was so replaceable
267
00:11:44,747 --> 00:11:47,271
that "even"
two crows could do it.
268
00:11:47,315 --> 00:11:49,186
Haha.
It's funny except it's not.
269
00:11:49,230 --> 00:11:51,885
Right, well, to be honest,
that is how I felt at the time.
270
00:11:51,928 --> 00:11:53,408
But I've-I've
rounded a corner.
271
00:11:53,451 --> 00:11:55,018
I seriously have,
you guys.
272
00:11:55,062 --> 00:12:00,589
Well, now it's time to
round the corner of death!
273
00:12:00,632 --> 00:12:04,027
Let the crow-volutionbegin.
274
00:12:04,071 --> 00:12:05,376
Aah!
275
00:12:05,420 --> 00:12:07,378
Aw, that sound.
What have you done?
276
00:12:07,422 --> 00:12:12,079
Turned crows against dozens
of humans in a 300 meter radius.
277
00:12:12,122 --> 00:12:13,558
Heeeelllllp...
pleaseee...
278
00:12:13,602 --> 00:12:15,560
Oh, now
you beg for help?
279
00:12:15,604 --> 00:12:17,388
-That wasn't me.
-What do you mean?
280
00:12:17,432 --> 00:12:19,042
Dooooown here.
281
00:12:19,086 --> 00:12:20,870
Jerry, what the fuck?
Why are you a puddle?
282
00:12:20,914 --> 00:12:22,785
You don't deserve these!
283
00:12:22,829 --> 00:12:24,221
-Haha.
-Genius.
284
00:12:24,265 --> 00:12:26,789
Caaatch you at
a baaad time?
Yeah, Jerry.
285
00:12:26,833 --> 00:12:28,617
They took my
goddamn crows!
286
00:12:32,316 --> 00:12:35,015
Not now, Garbage Goober!
Get back in your hole!
287
00:12:38,322 --> 00:12:40,629
Hohoho,
our first adventure!
288
00:12:40,672 --> 00:12:42,109
This definitely the place?
289
00:12:42,152 --> 00:12:43,763
Yeah, Rick's been ripping
these guys off for years,
290
00:12:43,806 --> 00:12:46,113
they'll-they'll be really -
291
00:12:46,156 --> 00:12:47,810
uh, grateful.
292
00:12:47,854 --> 00:12:49,594
Y'know, there --Let's just get that fluid, bud.
293
00:12:49,638 --> 00:12:53,555
The Portal Boys are about
to be in portal business!
294
00:12:55,296 --> 00:12:56,645
Here he is.
295
00:12:56,688 --> 00:12:58,821
This rat was skimming
your crystal harvest
296
00:12:58,865 --> 00:13:02,303
and sending it to a spaceman
named Rick Sanchez.
297
00:13:02,346 --> 00:13:04,435
-Bastard!
-Screw Rick! Kick his dick!
298
00:13:04,479 --> 00:13:09,484
Yeah, right?! But me and Nick
here, we-we put a stop to that.
299
00:13:09,527 --> 00:13:11,965
The people of Kuntak
thank you.
300
00:13:12,008 --> 00:13:13,444
He's a bad guy, right?
301
00:13:13,488 --> 00:13:14,924
Y-You're gonna bring him
to justice?
302
00:13:14,968 --> 00:13:17,797
Yeah, of course.
303
00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:19,929
Uh, okay, p-pleasure
doing business!
304
00:13:19,973 --> 00:13:21,452
Not so fast,
Morty.
305
00:13:21,496 --> 00:13:23,367
We're not leaving until we get
what we came for.
306
00:13:23,411 --> 00:13:24,847
Funny,
I'm prepared to.
307
00:13:24,891 --> 00:13:27,154
So hey, look, wh-what we want
is portal fluid.
308
00:13:27,197 --> 00:13:28,808
As our thanks.
309
00:13:28,851 --> 00:13:30,548
Portal fluid?
310
00:13:30,592 --> 00:13:33,638
You think I'd live in a lizard
mine if I had portal fluid?
311
00:13:33,682 --> 00:13:37,468
Right, ok, or we could just
kill you for it.
312
00:13:37,512 --> 00:13:39,383
He's kidding.
He's -- t-the Portal Boys
313
00:13:39,427 --> 00:13:41,733
-only kill with kindness.
-And with guns.
314
00:13:41,777 --> 00:13:45,302
Oh, no. Oh, no.
I-I'm not the one shooting!
315
00:13:45,346 --> 00:13:47,652
-Kill them!
-I'm sorry.
316
00:13:47,696 --> 00:13:51,831
Stop! Stop!
They're unarmed!
317
00:13:51,874 --> 00:13:53,180
Ahh!
What the fuck?!
318
00:13:53,223 --> 00:13:55,835
Morty! Morty!
319
00:14:02,711 --> 00:14:05,670
Cool place ya got here. Very
Dark Crystal meets Hot Topic.
320
00:14:05,714 --> 00:14:07,324
Now where are my damn crows?
321
00:14:10,371 --> 00:14:11,981
Seriously?
322
00:14:12,025 --> 00:14:14,375
Is there anything
not on theme here?
323
00:14:23,210 --> 00:14:27,692
Even now your primate storms our
ship to assert his dominance.
324
00:14:27,736 --> 00:14:30,391
Touch the sacred egg
and ascend.
325
00:14:30,434 --> 00:14:33,394
No longer shall you
take orders from this beast.
326
00:14:33,437 --> 00:14:35,178
But taking orders from you
i-is fine?
327
00:14:35,222 --> 00:14:36,876
Silence, Ape!
328
00:14:38,834 --> 00:14:41,358
C'mon, if you think my crows
are gonna leave the great thing
329
00:14:41,402 --> 00:14:43,883
we have for whatever high
fantasy bullshit this is?
330
00:14:43,926 --> 00:14:46,886
You 're wrong.
R-Right, guys?
331
00:14:46,929 --> 00:14:48,888
Th-This is seriously a toss-up.
332
00:14:50,324 --> 00:14:52,543
Uh...someone wanna get that?
333
00:14:52,587 --> 00:14:53,893
Oh.
It's me, isn't it?
334
00:14:53,936 --> 00:14:55,242
Woof.
335
00:14:55,285 --> 00:14:56,939
Lemme just make sure
it's not an emergency...
336
00:14:56,983 --> 00:14:59,550
-Yello.
-Rick, I'm so sorry,
I-I messed up big!
337
00:14:59,594 --> 00:15:01,770
Morty? It's okay, y-ya can't be
worse off than me.
338
00:15:01,813 --> 00:15:03,293
I-I got portal splashed,
robbed you,
339
00:15:03,337 --> 00:15:04,773
jumped into a rebound
with a psycho,
340
00:15:04,816 --> 00:15:06,209
and-and left
a trail of dead!
341
00:15:06,253 --> 00:15:07,471
Wow,
somebody's been busy.
342
00:15:07,515 --> 00:15:08,908
I-I did it 'cause
you hurt my feelings
343
00:15:08,951 --> 00:15:10,257
w-when you chose
the two crows!
344
00:15:10,300 --> 00:15:12,302
Jesus, it was a bit,
I'm getting my ass kicked
345
00:15:12,346 --> 00:15:14,957
by this dumb fucking crow story,
it's all gone tits up.
346
00:15:15,001 --> 00:15:18,395
Ha, okay,
I-I miss you, man.
347
00:15:18,439 --> 00:15:21,094
Uh, goddamn it, might've been
a bit too frank there.
348
00:15:28,623 --> 00:15:30,842
Yeah...
gonna have to call ya back.
349
00:15:30,886 --> 00:15:32,061
Ahh!
Gah!
350
00:15:32,105 --> 00:15:34,063
Tiny-handed little brat --
351
00:15:34,107 --> 00:15:36,587
You think you can fuck
with me and get away with it?!
352
00:15:36,631 --> 00:15:46,989
Then you don't know Nick.
353
00:15:47,033 --> 00:15:49,992
Busted.
You don't get it, do you?
354
00:15:50,036 --> 00:15:51,776
As long as we have
these portals,
355
00:15:51,820 --> 00:15:53,256
you can never escape me.
356
00:15:53,300 --> 00:15:54,649
What the hell, man.
357
00:15:54,692 --> 00:15:56,259
I-I thought we were both
victims of Rick's abuse.
358
00:15:56,303 --> 00:15:57,782
Maybe we are,
maybe we're not.
359
00:15:57,826 --> 00:15:59,523
Maybe we both just drink
at the same bar
360
00:15:59,567 --> 00:16:02,265
and maybe one night
I tried to take his portal gun.
361
00:16:02,309 --> 00:16:04,702
See I thought Rick was my ticket
to something special,
362
00:16:04,746 --> 00:16:06,704
but it turns out
you were, Morty.
363
00:16:06,748 --> 00:16:09,881
And look at me now --
I'm a Portal Boy.
364
00:16:09,925 --> 00:16:12,362
That name sucks!
I was just trying to yes-and!
365
00:16:12,406 --> 00:16:15,017
You don't get it, Morty.
366
00:16:15,061 --> 00:16:16,540
We're partners.
367
00:16:16,584 --> 00:16:18,803
Now fall in line or I'll make
your life a living hell.
368
00:16:18,847 --> 00:16:21,284
No...thank...you.
369
00:16:21,328 --> 00:16:24,505
Pity, I can't have you connected
to me if you're not on my side.
370
00:16:24,548 --> 00:16:26,463
That means
I gotta kill you.
371
00:16:26,507 --> 00:16:28,639
The thing is,
I already got a partner,
372
00:16:28,683 --> 00:16:30,902
and there's no room
for promotions.
373
00:16:34,080 --> 00:16:35,733
What the fuck
did you just do?
374
00:16:35,777 --> 00:16:37,779
Cut you out of my life.
375
00:16:44,090 --> 00:16:47,963
Ahhh!
376
00:16:53,360 --> 00:16:56,537
See how quickly your allies
abandon you, Rick Sanchez?
377
00:16:56,580 --> 00:16:59,192
Lucky for me, abandonment's my
bread and butter.
378
00:17:03,892 --> 00:17:05,546
Oh, shit.
You were supposed to die!
379
00:17:05,589 --> 00:17:07,026
I gotta hand it to you...
380
00:17:07,069 --> 00:17:09,854
I was iffy about this one
but crow tech slaps!
381
00:17:14,381 --> 00:17:16,035
Finish him,
you fools!
382
00:17:16,078 --> 00:17:17,384
Go ahead.
Do it.
383
00:17:17,427 --> 00:17:18,863
You guys look so rad.
384
00:17:18,907 --> 00:17:20,778
I deserve to go out this way!
385
00:17:26,741 --> 00:17:30,527
Bird...qua...luudes.
-Done.
386
00:17:34,314 --> 00:17:36,055
Oh, my god, that was awesome.
387
00:17:36,098 --> 00:17:37,795
Y-You could've killed me
back there.
388
00:17:37,839 --> 00:17:40,276
H-How did you guys
ever forgive me?
389
00:17:40,320 --> 00:17:41,712
Right,
'cause this toxic thing
390
00:17:41,756 --> 00:17:43,540
I have with Morty
doesn't define us.
391
00:17:43,584 --> 00:17:48,371
Man, crows are empathetic
as fuck!
392
00:17:48,415 --> 00:17:50,156
Definitely saving this one!
393
00:17:52,593 --> 00:17:54,421
Rick and two crows!
394
00:17:58,686 --> 00:18:00,209
Oh, my god, Morty.
395
00:18:00,253 --> 00:18:02,559
Here, here come here
l-let-let grandpa fix you up,
396
00:18:02,603 --> 00:18:04,779
What do you want, a robot hand?
A lizard hand?
397
00:18:04,822 --> 00:18:06,389
I can make it big again
like that one time?
398
00:18:06,433 --> 00:18:07,738
Just my regular hand!
399
00:18:07,782 --> 00:18:10,089
Right, not a time for bits,
I get it.
400
00:18:12,787 --> 00:18:14,397
There ya go,
good as new.
401
00:18:14,441 --> 00:18:16,747
So we're like,
back-back, right?
402
00:18:16,791 --> 00:18:18,140
Rick and Morty,
together again.
403
00:18:18,184 --> 00:18:20,925
Fu-Full reset?
No.
404
00:18:20,969 --> 00:18:22,492
No, Morty,
I think we're done.
405
00:18:22,536 --> 00:18:24,407
Be-Because I spilled the portal
fluid and didn't tell you?
406
00:18:24,451 --> 00:18:26,931
No, Morty. 'Cause you were too
afraid to tell me.
407
00:18:26,975 --> 00:18:28,759
What we had was abusive.
Don't you see?
408
00:18:28,803 --> 00:18:31,414
I'm a bad partner because I
never made you a true partner.
409
00:18:31,458 --> 00:18:33,024
The crows made me see that.
410
00:18:33,068 --> 00:18:34,809
I thought they were a joke
like you,
411
00:18:34,852 --> 00:18:36,593
but it turns out they're more
enlightened than any of us.
412
00:18:36,637 --> 00:18:38,943
O-Okay?
And-And what's the undercut?
413
00:18:38,987 --> 00:18:40,597
You're not hearing me.
414
00:18:40,641 --> 00:18:42,817
I will never be the same so I
need to leave with the crows
415
00:18:42,860 --> 00:18:44,601
and see what more
they can teach me.
416
00:18:44,645 --> 00:18:47,126
Oh. Oh.
417
00:18:47,169 --> 00:18:50,955
Here,
I want you to have this.
418
00:18:50,999 --> 00:18:53,262
Oh, wow I...
419
00:18:53,306 --> 00:18:56,439
You know what, Rick?
You really have changed.
420
00:18:56,483 --> 00:18:59,442
Thanks, Morty.
421
00:18:59,486 --> 00:19:01,270
I'll always be your grandpa,
Morty.
422
00:19:01,314 --> 00:19:03,751
Just kinda obsessed
with crows now.
423
00:19:15,241 --> 00:19:19,158
♪ Every day
the sun burns brighter ♪
424
00:19:19,201 --> 00:19:23,640
♪ With you by my side
425
00:19:23,684 --> 00:19:27,557
♪ And that we go on forever
426
00:19:27,601 --> 00:19:33,084
♪ Together you and I
427
00:19:33,128 --> 00:19:35,086
Aww shit!
Rick and two crows!
428
00:19:35,130 --> 00:19:36,523
Kicking off my new franchise!
429
00:19:36,566 --> 00:19:38,177
The galaxy is
our telephone wire!
430
00:19:38,220 --> 00:19:39,352
We'll do a thousand seasons,
431
00:19:39,395 --> 00:19:41,745
14 episodes each,
9-9 seconds a pop
432
00:19:41,789 --> 00:19:43,225
because that's
the future of viewing --
433
00:19:43,269 --> 00:19:45,184
shows on your shoes --
Sneaki!
434
00:19:45,227 --> 00:19:46,489
That's when you've got
everybody's attention --
435
00:19:46,533 --> 00:19:48,012
when they're putting crap
on their feet.
436
00:19:48,056 --> 00:19:49,710
That's when they wanna laugh.
Cry.
437
00:19:49,753 --> 00:19:52,016
Or feel anything besides
a shoe going on their foot!
438
00:19:52,060 --> 00:19:53,670
Watch sitcoms on your sneakers!
439
00:19:53,714 --> 00:19:55,237
The Rick and Two Crows Show,
440
00:19:55,281 --> 00:19:57,326
we're gonna be layin' --
layin' walnuts on the road
441
00:19:57,370 --> 00:20:00,199
for car tires to open em'
you know what I mean?
442
00:20:00,242 --> 00:20:04,203
Forever, it's Rick
and two crows, forever!
443
00:20:05,900 --> 00:20:07,902
♪ Oh, we go on
444
00:20:07,945 --> 00:20:10,209
♪ You by my side
445
00:20:10,252 --> 00:20:12,254
♪ Forever
446
00:20:12,298 --> 00:20:13,777
♪ You and I
447
00:20:13,821 --> 00:20:16,258
♪ We wreaked hell
448
00:20:16,302 --> 00:20:18,521
♪ Every night
449
00:20:18,565 --> 00:20:20,393
♪ Together
450
00:20:20,436 --> 00:20:22,569
♪ You and I
451
00:20:22,612 --> 00:20:24,571
♪ Running on
452
00:20:24,614 --> 00:20:26,529
♪ Borrowed time
453
00:20:26,573 --> 00:20:28,575
♪ Forever
454
00:20:28,618 --> 00:20:30,968
♪ You and I
455
00:20:39,325 --> 00:20:41,718
Where do you think
you're going?
456
00:20:41,762 --> 00:20:43,285
Oh, well, ya know...
457
00:20:43,329 --> 00:20:45,156
the-the red light
usually means there's...
458
00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:46,549
garbage...
459
00:20:46,593 --> 00:20:48,290
Did you seriously
not talk to Rick yet?
460
00:20:48,334 --> 00:20:49,596
I kinda hinted at it.
461
00:20:49,639 --> 00:20:51,075
L-Look,
I know it's not the job
462
00:20:51,119 --> 00:20:53,121
I came here for but
it's an honest living.
463
00:20:53,164 --> 00:20:54,427
Goddamn it, Harold.
464
00:20:54,470 --> 00:20:56,559
What do they call you --
Garbage Goober?
465
00:20:56,603 --> 00:20:58,561
You are a doctor
for god sakes!
466
00:20:58,605 --> 00:21:00,302
Look, I don't know
how I let this happen
467
00:21:00,346 --> 00:21:03,784
but I-I've let it play out
so long that I can't stop now.
468
00:21:03,827 --> 00:21:06,569
You're a coward.
469
00:21:06,613 --> 00:21:08,919
You're right.
This ends here and now.
470
00:21:08,963 --> 00:21:11,574
Garbage Goober, we got
freshy trash trash for ya!
471
00:21:11,618 --> 00:21:15,796
Extra stinky just the way
you like it!
472
00:21:15,839 --> 00:21:17,928
Mmm, trash,
I love trash...
473
00:21:17,972 --> 00:21:20,540
yum yum trash,
I wanna eat trash.
474
00:21:21,541 --> 00:21:22,977
Did you get any of that?